A/N Same 'ol, same 'ol….I own nothing, blah, blah,
This is pretty short, but for those of you who are still reading I hope you enjoy it. I drank a bottle of wine while cleaning my kitchen and jamming to Halestorm…this is the product of that totally ridiculous evening.
CHAPTER THREE
Breath ragged, heart pounding, slick with perspiration, Ashley's chest heaved as she tried to control her breathing. The rock star was completely exhausted and energized all at the same time as she stood in front of the roaring crowd. She gave them everything they wanted and still they shouted for more, she had already done three encore songs and played her fingers till near bleeding, she waited absorbing their applause until the lights went out for the final time.
Careful not to trip over cords or amplifiers she made her way across the stage nearly blinded from having faced the spotlights and then being submerged into total darkness. She new the route, had it memorized, everything had its place to allow the band and dancers to make seamless entrances and exits throughout the show, so when Ashley bumped into something she was completely surprised.
Fumbling blindly she righted the wobbling guitar stand, mumbling about newbie's and watching where they left their damn stuff. As her fingers felt around in the darkness for the guitar she bumped the strings and was surprised to hear the audio echo throughout the arena.
The commotion from the crowd hushed and you could feel the energy change. What was a sea of people slowly beginning to filter towards exits became a vacuum of sound as everyone held their breath waiting to see if the band would return.
Without conscious effort the rock stars feet carried her across the stage, settling the strap across her shoulder as she went. Years of skill found her automatically tuning the Fender guitar as she went. Lost in her world she didn't even realize the packed stadium had gone deathly quiet. Ashley stopped center stage and sat Indian style strumming the instrument; she let different riffs and chords flow from her fingers. A single spotlight was lit above her, washing her in a soft warm glow. She heard movement to her left and was surprised to find a microphone stand being set up, the mic adjusted just close enough to carry her voice but not be in her way.
Ashley smiled and spoke softly, "Hello Daytona." Thirty thousand out of control fans erupted into screams of excitement.
"Your Hot!" and "Marry me!" were decipherable through the overall madness.
The petite brunette chuckled throatily and responded playfully, "I'm flattered thank you." Her smile was wide and brilliant. This was a rare moment for the rock princess. She had started playing at local bars in High School, trying to follow in her dad's footsteps, but fame and the family name quickly took her from small bars and private shows to packed arenas with thousands of screaming fans. She had no regrets about her career but tonight she was feeling a little nostalgic and craved a more intimate setting.
"I said I would never sing this song live," Ashley cleared her throat and gathered her courage to continue, "but you all have been an amazing crowd and it's almost Christmas, so this is my gift to you, it was on my last album, some of you may know it." She played the intro and chuckled again when the crowd shouted their recognition, leaning into the mic her words were playful and teasing, "I guess that means some of you own the CD?"
The ruckus she was causing got louder as Ashley sat quietly watching the crowd, after a moment of absorbing the energy she began playing an extended intro letting the crowd try and come together singing the first line.
Artistic expression carried her fingers over the strings, letting her feel the music. She was lost in her own little world all the fans faded away and she was alone on the stage, remembering the day she wrote this song, remembering the pain and anguish that caused these words and these notes to come together.
She stopped playing and at first the mass of bodies didn't notice, their keyed up antics kept pulsing through the venue, but slowly as if they knew a decisive moment was coming, a palpable calm fell over the crowd.
Drink the wine, my darling, you said
It was almost a whisper, followed by another pause and more whispered words.
Take your time, and consume all of it
Ashley let her fingers begin to play, the soulful music sweeping over her. What could have created another frenzy instead created a peace and reverence that let the rock star express everything her soul was feeling.
But the roses were only to drain my inspiration
The promises spoiled before they left your lips and…
Lights flickered to life amongst the crowd, lighters and glow sticks raised and waved into the air. They were all there with her, sensitized to the power of her words. The brunette could feel the words pulling at her heart strings, her fingers halted and she let the building emotion gather letting thousands of strangers share in her pain.
I breathe you in again just to feel you
Her voice cracked slightly and she took a sharp breath to reign in the impending flood.
Underneath my skin, holding on to
The sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison
There was no base to melt in with her playing, no backup guitar to heighten the despair, just her blurred fingers racing along the Fender, peeling out a solo known only in the rock stars heart as she prepared for the second verse.
I tell myself that you're no good for me
Those words were ground from between clenched teeth and the ones that followed held bitterness and rejection.
I wish you well, but desire never leaves
I could fight this till the end
But maybe I don't wanna win
Tears burn at the back of her eyes, but she blinks them back and forges ahead. She lets the memories carry her forward through the lyrics and capitalizes on the emotion.
I breathe you in again just to feel you
Underneath my skin, holding on to
The sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison
The beat that drives her pain doesn't come, the drums that would normally play are silent and so it is just her, punishing the instrument in her hands as she builds the passion. Her voice crying out, faster and thick with unshed tears, just on the verge of letting everything go.
I don't wanna be saved, I don't wanna be sober
I want you on my mind, in my dreams behind those eyes
She drops her head, her once damp hair dry and stuck to her face and neck giving her that feral look that her fans love. She is lost so completely now the first tear breaking free.
And I won't wake up, no not this time
Her throat is starting to become raw but she plays and sings forcing the pain to come through.
I breathe you in again just to feel you
Underneath my skin, holding on to
The sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison
Her playing stops and the last words are spoken in a broken mumble.
A familiar taste of poison
Without another word, the exhausted singer un-slings her guitar and exits the stage. She doesn't hear the applause, she doesn't hear the screams, none of it matters. She poured out her soul and the only thing she can think of is the one person who needed to hear it, but didn't.
Ashley slammed through the door of her dressing room and grabbed the first bottle of alcohol that she found. She wondered if Spencer even bought her last CD, did she know the depth and extent of Ashley's pain. The angry rock star ripped the top off the bottle in her hands and slammed back half of the ice cold beverage while she berated her weakness. Why hadn't she released that song as a single, why was it so easy for her to put Spencer's pain on display, but refused to let the school girl see a chink in her armor.
With an animalistic fury, the bottle flew across the room shattering against the wall and the tiny brunette screamed and seethed in the small space, feeling trapped by her own mistakes and misgivings.