Chapter 3:

For once, Rangiku was actually doing her work. It was very halfheartedly and quick, but at least she was working. She was mostly doing it to please her captain. She was still working off her unofficial dept to him for getting him drunk. She had never seen him so mad before. She had to do everything in her power to get back on his good side.

As she walked down the long hall towards the office, she could hear loud singing. She stopped in her tracks and concentrated on the voices.

"I work for a captain

who isn't very nice!

I run around all day long,

it is such a pain!

And then when I'm finished,

he looks at me and says…

'boy look at this work,

do it all again'!"

It was an Irish drinking song and that sounded a lot like Kira. The song went on, a new voice singing this time.

"Drinking is my passion,

thanks to Rangiku!

Get me a whiskey,

or a little brandy.

Pour me another glass,

I can't get enough!

Then the little one points and says,

'you got numbers on your face'!"

That was Hisagi. Then came the voice of someone she recognized by their rage, but never from their singing. It couldn't be who she thought it was, could it?

"My lieutenant is an ass,

that is for sure!

She rubs her boobs in my face,

squishy-squishy-squish!

She likes to hid sake,

all around the office.

Then when I get 'hold of it,

Oh, my God, it's good!"

"Captain?!" Rangiku dropped her stack of papers to the floor and burst into the office.

The room was littered with sake bottles and discarded captain's jackets and swords. The captain of Squad 8, Ikkaku and Yumichika were sitting on the floor, cheering and laughing at the song. Kira, Hisagi and her own captain were on top of the table in a kick line. Hitsugaya was too short to reach their shoulders so he clung to their ribs instead. Everyone in the room was red in the face except for Yumichika. It didn't take her long to figure out what was going on, but still, she wanted an explanation.

"What is going on in here?!"

Yumichika got up waving his arms defensively. "Uh, it's not what you think."

"I think you've all been in my secret sake stash and got yourselves drunk!"

"Ok, so it is what you think."

"What is going on around here?!"

Hisagi lost his balance and tumbled off the table and onto the couch behind him. The other two slammed onto the table, nearly breaking it in half. Too drunk to feel pain anymore, the three just laughed it off and tried to think of another song to sing. Rangiku got a good look at her captain and couldn't believe it. He was drunk all over again! He was laughing his head off and his face was as pink as fresh cherry blossoms. He never looked happier… or drunker for that matter.

"How in the world did you get him drunk?!"

"I had nothing to do with that," Yumichika, the only sober one in the room, told her. "I merely walked in and found them like this. Hisagi told me that they forced the stuff down his throat to get him to loosen up."

"Loosen him up?!" Rangiku pointed at her intoxicated captain. "This is the last thing he needs! Do you have any idea how much trouble we're going to get in?!"

"Is that what you're so worked up about? 'Cause I thought you'd be all for it. It's not like you to worry so much."

"Of course I'm worried! Do you have any idea what he did to me after the first time?! He nearly killed me! I've never seen him so pissed off before! Why do you think I'm panicking? I never want to go through that again!"

Yumichika frowned. "Aw, but there's a good chance he won't remember any of this anyway, like last time. Provided everyone keeps their mouths shut."

"But he knows that they forced him to drink!"

"True, but that doesn't mean that we'll get into trouble." Yumichika smiled at her. "He'll be mad at the ones who did this to him. Not us! We're off the hook!"

"That's right…" Rangiku started to relax a little bit before realizing something. "But it's my sake they poured down his throat! He'll make it into my fault because I had it in the first place! If I didn't have that stash in here, none of this would have happened! Don't you see? He'll make it my fault, too!"

Yumichika shrugged. "Whatever. I just wanted a nice laugh after all the work I did today. The downside is that now I have to be the one to drag Ikkaku back home when this little party of their's is over."

"How can you be so calm about this?!" Rangiku all but screamed. "Just look at my captain! I'm gonna get it when he sobers up!"

Yumichika took a sideward glance down at the captain. "Oh? But don't you find him cute at all?"

"How is any of this cute?! It's horrible!"

"Even that?" Yumichika pointed to Hitsugaya. "Don't you find that the least bit cute?"

Rangiku looked down and saw her captain rolling around like a log giggling like a small child on a sugar rush. He got to his feet and started to spin around in a circle, going faster and faster until succumbing to dizziness and falling down. His head revolved on his shoulders, room spinning around him, but still continued to giggle. He clapped his hands together and started the whole thing over again like a toddler.

She smiled. "Well… I suppose that is rather cute." He really was an adorable drunk. "But this can't go on, you know that! We have to calm him down and make sure that he doesn't hurt himself."

"Since when are you so concerned?"

"Since he nearly killed me for the last time. Now help me."

Yumichika whined. "Do I have to?"

"Yes!"

"But they'll probably pass out any minute. Can't you wait for that? That's what I usually do."

Shunsui clicked his tongue and called Rangiku over. "Hey, any chance you wanna… You know?" He wiggled his brow.

She shuddered. "Ew, no."

"Suit yourself. But you don't know what you're missin'." He drank from his cup again.

Suddenly, Rangiku felt skinny arms wrap around her legs and looked down. Hitsugaya was staring up at her with big puppy eyes and a drunken smile. "Uh, sir?"

Hitsugaya hugged her tightly. "I love you."

"I'm sure you do, but…"

He clawed his way up her body, clinging to her pink scarf for balance. "I mean it. I really do. I love you, Rangiku. You're awesome. You are so good. I mean it, you're good. You are so good. I love you."

More drunk talk. He never spoke to me like this before when he was sober. It was rather awkward, to say the least. She tried to pull him off, but he stuck to her like glue. He wouldn't come off! "Captain, please!"

"Rangiku!" Kira jumped out of nowhere and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "What are ya doin' 'ere? Come ta pady?"

"Come to what?"

"He said 'come to party'," Hisagi translated. "Dude's so wasted."

"No kidding."

Suddenly Shunsui's head hit the table and his cup rolled out of his hands and across the table. Hisagi poked him in the head and heard him snore.

"Dude, he's out!"

Ikkaku hiccupped and looked over at Yumichika. "Hey, whaddaya lookin' at?"

"Nothing."

Ikkaku swayed over to his friend and slung an arm around his shoulder. "I tell ya, if I didn't think I could, I would."

"Would what?"

"Mop the floor wit' ya! Ya deaf or what?!" Ikkaku shouted in his face.

Yumichika knew it was best to play along so he did. "Ok, ok, I got ya, Ikkaku. Just sit down over there, ok?"

"Why?"

"Uh… Because…" He thought of a reason that would only make sense to a drunken idiot like Ikkaku. "Because it's been calling you out all day."

"I'll kill 'im!" Ikkaku stormed over to the couch and started to curse at it.

Yumichika shook his head. "Ah… What a fool. I can tell I'm going to have fun with him later on when he's throwing up everywhere. It is not going to be pretty."

There came another crash as Hisagi fell over backwards off the arm of the chair and onto the floor. He had finally passed out, too. He was out before his head hit the floor.

Hitsugaya pointed and laughed. "Number guy went boom!" He jumped up and down, laughing like crazy. "Boom! Boomity-boomity-boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!"

Kira hiccupped and moaned in Rangiku's ear. "I don't feel so good anymore…" He reached blindly for another sake bottle, thinking that it would solve the problem.

Rangiku grabbed his hand. "No more for you, are you crazy?"

"No, you're crazy!" He pointed in her face. "You're all 'no more', 'no more'! And then I'm all 'what? No way'! So you're, like, 'dude, he's so drunk' and I'm all 'yeah, he is' and you know what that's like, right?"

Rangiku looked at Yumichika for clarification.

"Don't look at me. I don't know what he's saying."

"Well, I don't speak drunk. At least, not unless I'm drunk, too."

"Then just leave him alone. It doesn't matter. Whatever he's saying isn't important, anyway."

Kira shot him a look. "Hey, I may be stupid but I'm not drunk!" He paused. "Oh, wait… Reverse that. I meant to say that I'm not as drunk as I am stupid… Wait, that didn't sound right, either… So, what was I saying again?"

"Never mind!"

Kira looked back at Rangiku and smiled at her. "You're so hot."

"Thanks, now sit down."

"Can I have a kiss?" Kira puckered his lips.

She put a hand up to stop his lips from planting themselves on her cheek. "Just go away."

Hitsugaya jumped up and down like a child. "I want a kiss, too! Please?"

With another thud, Ikkaku rolled off the couch and onto the floor, having passed out himself. Yumichika threw his hands up in the air with a breath of relief. "Finally!" He grabbed Ikkaku's ankles and started to drag him out of the room. "Sorry, Rangiku, you're on your own."

"What?! Wait, I can't-!"

"You have to. I've got him to worry about."

"Just leave him on the floor! I can't possibly-!"

Kira tried to kiss her once again, but she pushed him aside. When he tried a third time, he only managed to get within inches of his target before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and ended up collapsing on the floor by her feet. He had finally passed out, too.

Now that just left Hitsugaya. This wasn't going to be easy, seeing as how hyper he was at the moment. She tried to calm him down, but that only excited him more. "Yumichika, please! I can't do this alone!"

"I offer you my best!" he called before dragging Ikkaku out into the hall and closing the door.

Great. Just great…

Hitsugaya bounced in place, still clinging to her scarf. He laughed and laughed, unable to stop.

Rangiku grabbed his hands and tried to hold him still. "Captain, please calm down."

"You're hot. We should totally go out."

"You don't mean that. I know you don't. I'm too old for you anyway. Well… maybe not that old…" She gave her hair a flip, giving herself a complement. "But still, you should really-"

Hitsugaya pulled free of her grasp and took off in a run. He started to run around the office, laughing hysterically and jumping up and down. He couldn't keep still. He had to move. He had to touch. He had to run wild. He jumped onto the couch and bounced up and down on it like a little jumping bean. He threw his hands into the air over his head and hollered loudly.

Rangiku rushed over and tried to stop him. "Please, sit down! Come on, before you hurt yourself."

"No way! Never!" He laughed and jumped higher. He waved his hands in the air and bounced. "I love you! I love it so! I love you and you and you and you and…" He slowed to a stop, suddenly not looking so energetic. He wobbled and swayed and grabbed onto her shoulder for support. "Suddenly… I don't feel so good… I feel weird…"

She took his hand in hers and tried to coax him down. "Please sit down on the couch, Captain. You'll feel better."

He shook his head. "I don't wanna. I'm ok. I just feel a little funny. That's all." He turned his whole body towards her and hiccupped. "You look so pretty."

"Thank you, now sit down." She didn't want to hear such things from him anymore. They weren't sincere. Just a lot of drunk talk. In any case, she needed to calm him down.

Now tall enough to be at eyelevel with her, Hitsugaya could look her straight in the face as he spoke. "How come you never looked like this before to me? I never noticed how pretty you were. Have you always been this hot?"

"Just sit down please."

"But why do you look so good to me now? I think I feel something when I look at you now. I never have before… Why haven't I..?" He hiccupped in her face and she could smell the sake on his breath. "So pretty…"

She tried to pull him down so that he could sit, but he buckled his knees and made it impossible. "Please sit down."

Hitsugaya reached out and ran his fingers through her long hair. His drunken gaze caught her pale blue eyes. He moved a little closer, vision no longer as clear. "I feel like… Why do I feel like..?"

"Like what?" she was afraid to ask.

"I feel like… kissing you." He moved closer. "I feel like kissing you all of a sudden. I just feel like I love you so much, I can't help it. I want to kiss you."

"No, you don't." Rangiku shook her head and tried to convince him that all these feelings of his were nothing more than false, sake-influenced drunken feelings of desire. He didn't really mean any of it. "Captain, you're drunk. You're not thinking clearly. You have to calm down before you do something you'll regret."

Smiling dopily, Hitsugaya's face fell forward and planted his lips on the end of his lieutenant's nose. He pulled back still smiling like a drunken fool. He hiccupped and gave a short laugh. "That wasn't so bad, right? But kinda unfair."

"Unfair how?" she asked, rubbing the end of her nose where his lips had touched.

"'Cause I was aiming for your mouth. They look so soft and juicy." He moved closer to her for a second time.

She shook her head. "No way! You're drunk! As cute as you are, this has gone on long enough! I will not let you do whatever you want only to get yelled at later for letting you do so! You've done enough in this state!"

He was still leaning closer to her with his lips puckered. She stuck her hand out to block him. She held him back as he tried to kiss her. "Please? Just one. I won't get mad, I promise."

"Yeah, you say that now. But I'll have to hear about it later from you. Believe me…"

"Just one little kiss is all I ask. Just one…" Hitsugaya's eyes slid out of focus and his pupils dilated further. With a soft moan, his eyes closed and he fell forward into her chest.

Rangiku looked down at the bundle in her bosom and heard him snore. At last, it was over. He had passed out in her arms and his reign of hyperactive drunkenness was over. She laid him down on the couch and covered him up with his discarded captain's jacket to sleep off his intoxication.

She straightened up and looked around the room at the other slumbering drunks. "What a pain… I should have enjoyed this more…"

The next one is the last so please review! ^-^