A/N Déjà vu….I don't own these characters or any likeness to these characters and I most certainly do not own these lyrics.

Wow, so this chapter got a lot longer than I thought and maybe I got a little carried away…hope your still enjoying the journey.

CHAPTER FOUR

Time seemed to slip by without notice. Ashley didn't go sign autographs and she refused to open her door to meet clamoring fans with back stage passes. She just sat and stared at her reflection, hating what she saw. It had been more than an hour and a couple beers since she left the stage and all she could think about was a certain blue eyed angel.

A soft knock sounded on the door and she barked for whoever it was to go away. The unwanted guest had the audacity to open the door anyway, but Ashley didn't turn to see who entered until they spoke.

"Hey Ash, I thought you could use a pick me up," the bitter brunette turned towards the voice. She saw Joey standing there grinning with his arms around three scantily glad girls, "So I picked up two blondes and a red head, who are eager to please."

One of the blonde's disentangled from the base player and sauntered over to where Ashley sat sprawled on the couch. The rock star didn't even blink when the girl straddled lithe hips and leaned in to kiss her. It didn't last long, Ashley didn't respond, but the blonde didn't notice or care as she lowered her head to nip and lick at Ashley's exposed collar bone.

Slowly blazing a trail up the rock stars neck the blonde whispered in Ashley's ear as she nibbled on it, "I could lick the sweat off your entire body." It was breathy and meant to entice, but the brunette just rolled her eyes.

Rolling her head away from the probing tongue and teeth, Ashley met Joey's gaze with a scowl. She took a sip from her beer as she indicated the girl in her lap and raised her eyebrows, giving the base player a look that said 'what were you thinking.'

Joey took the hint and called out, "Hey Roxanne, on second thought I'm not sure I want to share you tonight. Why don't you join us, I'm more of good time anyway."

Teeth suddenly sank into the rock stars neck and she spit beer across the couch as she cried out, "Fuck!" Before she could gain her senses the blonde she-devil was crawling off her lap with an evil glare.

"Something to remember me by…" With that the girl backed towards the others and they disappeared, the door clicking shut behind them.

Ashley wanted to smash something, but instead she stalked over to the vanity staring daggers at the mark that had already surfaced on her neck. As furious brown eyes surveyed the damage she caught the reflection of her cell phone in the mirror, seeing it raised a piteous moan from her throat. Ashley wanted nothing more than to dial an all too familiar number, call up the only person she wanted to see and convince her that everything was different now.

But she couldn't, she promised she wouldn't, it had been nearly six months since that night in June and the rock star wanted nothing more than to call the blonde everyday since.

Spencer had found her that night. There had been no talking, no confessions of love, just a smoldering fire that consumed them both. Ashley thought that was it, her life was back on track, but her blue eyed beauty wanted space, more time to think, told her it was a mistake, and disappeared from her life again.

The rock star had been faithful to the blonde in all ways since that night, waiting, letting the days and weeks eat away at her while she waited for her lover to return. Ashley leaned her forehead against the glass and let her mind wander to another time and place similar to this when she did give in and pick up the phone.

………Flashback…..over 4 years ago…………

Ashley was agitated, tapping out a staccato with her cell phone against the palm of her hand. Over the last six months she had written enough songs to complete her new album. The first song was out and she could smell the Grammy, her manager, producer, band mates, everyone was basking in the thrill of self proclaimed success. The rock star shared in that excitement, but something caused her to lay awake at night shuffling lyrics and rhythm's around in her head.

Still pacing she grumbled to herself about music being therapeutic and wishing the creative process would get a certain school girl out of her head. Ashley had given up trying to forget her encounter with the all American Midwestern blonde. She knew the girl went to Ohio University which was only 25 minutes from the arena where the band was playing that night. She also knew that Spencer was a double major, on the Dean's list, and was actively involved in the campus ministry group. She even served on the Freshmen Orientation Counsel. Ashley knew all of this because four months ago she had given up on trying to write Spencer out of her system and had taken to stalking the popular school girl online.

The edgy brunette jumped at the knock on her door, hollering out an explicative. A nervous red head stuck her head in the door and let the cranky rock princess know that sound check would start in ten minutes and then quickly disappeared.

Ashley made a rash decision, grabbing her phone, thumbs flew over the key pad as she fired off a text to her manager and demanded that a ticket and back stage pass be immediately delivered to the University Campus. She was going to put an end to this once and for all.

Ashley learned later that Spencer would always remember the time and place that she received those items. The school girl remembered opening the envelope and the line that developed across her forehead as she frowned. She didn't know what the brunette wanted or her intent, but Spencer wanted answers, so she went to the concert.

The blonde was nervous and she tried to talk herself out of it a million times over the course of an hour, but ultimately she couldn't not see Ashley again. She had bought her new album, heard the songs, and it pained her to listen to it, and tonight she was going to get her chance to confront Ashley about the lyrics.

It wasn't much of a confrontation, as soon as the door closed and she found herself alone with the amped up rocker the air sizzled between them. Spencer avoided eye contact as they circled each other slowly around the small dressing room, Ashley advancing, Spencer retreating. Ashley broke the silence.

"I didn't think you'd come." It wasn't a question or accusatory, just a simple statement.

"Why did you invite me?"

Ashley paused and then decided to be honest, "I wanted to see you again."

Spencer looked down and fidgeted with the straps of her purse, "Really?" Before Ashley could respond she continued, "Because I got your message and I thought it was pretty clear how you felt."

Dark brows scrunched in confusion, "I didn't send a message?"

Finally Spencer found the strength to look into dark mocha eyes. She found herself paralyzed by the pure emotion and desire that poured from them. Ashley took advantage of her momentary incapacitation and advanced on her again, but before she could reach the blonde, Spencer quickly pulled a jewel case from her purse and pressed it against the rock stars chest.

Ashley paused, hand midway to the school girl's waist and looked down; Spencer released the CD and stepped back. The brunette instinctively reached for the case before it could hit the floor and Spencer retreated again.

Spencer spoke with her back to Ashley while she pretended to focus on a picture hanging crooked on the wall, "I wanted to get it autographed."

Ashley shook her head as she adjusted to the sudden change in conversation, she was confused, "wait, back up, you said you got a message?"

Spencer turned, arms folded across her chest and tried to face the rock princess again, "Yeah, she motioned toward the CD forgotten in Ashley's hand, "I'm pretty certain I know the exact night that you wrote Innocence, but I got the impression that maybe number 11 was meant for me too."

Ashley stood staring emptily at the blonde, in that moment she had no idea which song she was referencing. You would have thought that having written and performed the song, she would know her own CD but the rocker could care less what order they were recorded. Brown eyes drifted down to the jewel case in her hand, but before she could read the title she heard the first line whispered.

The blonde didn't even know she was speaking until the words were past her lips.

You had your heart set on an angel's kiss

"Stop", brown eyes looked up to meet blue, Ashley knew the next line. Spencer knew it too; she ignored the command and continued.

Maybe a taste of bliss

Spencer kept whispering the words; she didn't say the lines with the same venom that Ashley spit during a performance. No, the blonde's vocals were cold, spoken flat without any inflection, just how she felt.

Maybe a long white dress and fist full of flowers

"I know the words Spencer." Ashley knew every word, every hook but she couldn't hear her words thrown back at her and see the pain they caused. Her eyes pleaded with the school girl to stop.

Spencer wasn't sure if she could say the next few lines anyway, this was the part that confused her, these words didn't hold the same cocky edge as Innocence. They didn't scream at her about her own foolishness and stupidity. No these sounded almost guilty? She met Ashley's gaze as both girls stood silent, hearing the song play in their own minds, Spencer wishing she could read the answers in sad mocha eyes.

You wrapped your arms around a murderer

Pretending it didn't hurt

Every time I cut you deeper and deeper

Ashley dropped her head again and stared down at her own caricature brought to life on the cover of the album. Spencer had it all wrong; this song was a lie, a cover, a miserable attempt to hide her unhappiness. These words were an attempt to bury her feelings of guilt over seducing the young blonde and then throwing her to the curb. She was no good for her, never should have contacted her, didn't deserve her forgiveness.

Hey, I'm not the one

I'm not the one

I'm not the one you want to give your heart to

Spencer couldn't take the silence anymore, "So, yeah, um, if you could just sign it, I'll get out of here and you can do whatever, or whomever it is that you normally do after shows." The school girl was still hearing the words in her head and she wanted to get out of there, not be face to face with the person who so painfully delivered the message.

You came

You fell

It was easier to hear it from her stereo, but she couldn't look at Ashley anymore and think about those words being said about her and too her.

You thought this was something else

This has got nothing to do with love

The rock star wanted to explain, she heard the words in her head, knew what they must sound like, but the school girl didn't understand the lasting impression she left with the brunette.

You beg

You plead

The brunette took a deep breathe, it didn't matter, none of it mattered, the song was right, Ashley had cut her deep and the blonde shouldn't waste her heartache on someone undeserving of her love.

You wanted more than you could keep

This has got nothing to do with love

The blonde was getting fidgety, she wished the audio in her head would stop, the words felt amplified as if they came straight from her stereo speakers.

I gave you just enough to paralyze
Thought maybe you could satisfy

"Is it about me?" It was barely a whisper, Spencer couldn't look at Ashley anymore, but she needed to know.

Ashley thought about the last line of the second verse.

Sometimes I get so bored with you, boy

She could lie; tell her the whole thing was written about some other random night of her life with some guy she didn't know. But she couldn't, she couldn't see the school girl standing there or look her in the eye and say those words weren't written because of her. She chose not to say anything; she learned long ago from her manager that you keep people's interest by giving them something to talk about and then not divulging any answers. Hence the last line of the second verse, made for good gossip, and now it had protected her from being directly confronted by her own lyrics. She wasn't going to give Spencer an answer, let her think what she wanted.

Silently Ashley walked over to a shelf along the wall, opened the jewel case and removed the cover; she quickly scribbled across the front and then fit it back in its place. She turned and held the case out to Spencer, but the blonde didn't budge, the saddest eyes she'd ever seen were holding her own like a life preserver.

Ashley felt compelled to speak to the pain reflected in the school girl's eyes, "People make mistakes Spencer. I made a mistake. I asked you here tonight to tell you that I can't get you out of my head. Your tears are the last thing I see every night before I fall asleep and your smile is the only thing I want to wake up too. I am sorry I hurt you and I understand if you can't forgive me for the way I treated you…."

The blonde was shocked; she pulled her lower lip between her teeth and chewed on it as she debated how to respond. What if this was all a game, just so Ashley could have another one night stand and then send her packing. She didn't want to be on the hurting end of any more rock songs. No, she was not going to give Ashley the satisfaction of drawing her in twice only to spit her out.

With all the courage she could muster she snatched the CD from Ashley's hand and strode past her to the door. She threw it open and didn't look back when she turned down the hallway her feet carrying her as fast as she could go. She had to get out of there before she changed her mind, before she thought of those eyes again and how much pain they reflected. Out of what can only be called morbid curiosity she raised the jewel case in her hand to see what the rock star had written. The content stopped her dead in her tracks and she instinctively reached for her phone.

There was no conscious thought to her movements as her feet started to move backwards. Shaking fingers dialed an unfamiliar number and before she knew it she was back in front of Ashley's open dressing room door.

The rock star sat with her back to the door, head hung in her hands, Spencer watched as the brunette ignored her vibrating phone. Spencer kept hitting send on her own cell and waiting not making a sound from the doorway.

Finally Ashley got up with a huff and grabbed her phone looking at the number and preparing to tear into whoever was on the other end. One look at the caller ID and she immediately flipped it open, but before she could answer, she heard a soft, "Hey" from behind her.

Ashley spun around and in two short steps she had Spencer by the wrist pulled her into the dressing room and slammed the door behind them. The blonde's eyes went wide as she collided with the rock star, her startled body tried to retreat but she found herself pinned between Ashley and the closed door. Their lips were a breath apart, but the bold brunette hesitated and moved mocha eyes up to meet cobalt blue.

"I'll be in town two more nights, then St Louis, two weeks on the west coast, then New York. I make no promises or commitments, I don't do relationships and I never trust anyone with my heart, but if you call me I will answer and if you come see me on the road I want to be with you."

Spencer shivered, she could see the sincerity in those dark brooding eyes, she believed in second chances and even if she didn't, she couldn't have stopped the rapid acceleration of her heart or the way her body wanted to mold itself to Ashley's. She wanted this opportunity and knew that if heartbreak were to follow it would be her own fault.

……end flashback………………

Ashley shuddered as she recalled the next several hours of that night, her heart beat skipped and she took a deep breath to calm herself. Acting on instinct she snatched up her cell and hit speed dial, but before it could even ring once she hit end.

She replayed the words she sang every night on stage and the reason she had written them. She was not good enough for Spencer, the school girl had already given her a second, third and fourth chance and she blew. The last request the blonde had made to her lover was for Ashley not to contact her again, and this was the one thing, that the rock star was going do right.