Chapter 4:

Rangiku managed to gather up as many empty bottles as possible and tossed them out while her captain slept. He hadn't moved for the past three hours. She occasionally checked to see if he was breathing. He was, rather deeply in fact. Satisfied, she went back to cleaning up after their little 'party'. If all went well, he wouldn't remember what had happened and therefore, wouldn't be mad at her for leaving the sake there for them to find in the first place. She could only pray for it to be true.

Once finished, she heard a soft moan come from the couch and turned. Her captain was starting to wake up. Hitsugaya stretched and rubbed his head. He groaned loudly and moaned. He rolled onto his side and buried his face in the couch cushions.

"Ohh..! I don't feel so good..!" His head hurt, he felt nauseous, his whole body ached and the light was blinding him and burning a hole in his skull. This was the second time in his life he ever felt so terrible. But it still took him a while to sort it all out and make sense of it. He hid under his captain's jacket with another loud moan. "Ohh..! I don't remember anything..! What happened?"

"Um…" Rangiku kept her voice as low and soft as possible. "Is there anything you do remember?"

"Ugh…" He rubbed his head. "It's hard to tell what's a dream and what was real…"

"Oh… I see…" She kept her back to him, praying.

He hiccupped and his face turned a sickly green. His head was spinning and he could feel something gurgle and then shoot up like a geyser in his stomach. "Oh..! Oh, God… Get me a bucket, quick!"

Rangiku thrust a trashcan to him at lightning speed. He clutched it in both hands and lowered his face into it and vomited. She grimaced, hearing it echo in the hollow aluminum trashcan. He retched again and moaned pitifully. She felt so sorry for him.

"God, I feel awful… And I don't even know why!" Hitsugaya managed before throwing up again.

Rangiku sat next to him on the couch and rubbed his back while he made a bunch of dry heaves. Her poor, poor captain. "Would you like some water? Or some tea?"

He belched, and tried to hold down the rest of his stomach contents. "Ohh… Water, please…"

She got off the couch slowly so as not to shake the seat too much and further upset his stomach. She poured him a glass of water and handed it to him carefully. He drank it slowly, keeping a hand on the trashcan at all times just in case. He thanked her and hung his head over the trashcan again.

Then a light flickered in his eyes and a scowl stretched across his face. "Now I remember..! Those bastards! They did this to me! They held me down and forced me to drink that vile stuff! I'll kill them! When I get a hold of them, I'm gonna… G- gonna…" His face turned green again and he retched into the bucket.

"With any luck, they'll be in the same boat as you, Captain. I mean, they did drink a lot."

With a pale face, Hitsugaya turned to look up at her. "Tell me… When you found me, what was I doing?"

"Huh?"

"What was I doing? Did you see what I did? Nothing too embarrassing, I hope. I just… I honestly don't remember a thing I did. I just can't recall. Please tell me if I did anything I might regret."

"Well… I sort of showed up in the middle of it all. I can't really say for sure…" That was the truth.

"Tell me what you did see."

She swallowed. "Uh… Well, you were… on the table… singing."

"Singing?!" His head jerked up. "Singing what?"

"Oh, just some song you made up. Kira and Hisagi were singing with you. It wasn't so bad."

Hitsugaya gripped the bucket tightly. "I'm gonna kill them..! They will pay!"

"But, sir, they… They're probably even sicker than you are now. Can't that be their punishment? I mean, they-"

"Are you defending them?" Hitsugaya shot her a look. "After what they did? Are you crazy?!"

"No, I…" Why was she defending them? As long as Hitsugaya's rage was fixed on them, she would be as free as a bird. "I was just thinking of your wellbeing. I mean, in your condition, your not fit to-"

"Who said I was going to do anything to them now?" He struggled to turn himself around to face her. "I, personally, am not going to do anything to them now. I know I'm in no condition to do so. I was just going to have a hand in it, was all."

"Hand in what, sir?" She was both intrigued and nervous.

"It's as you said…" He lowered the bucket and showed her the evil gleam in his eye. "They might be even sicker than I am now. Which means that they'll have to go to one person for help."

It took her a moment, but at last she understood. "You don't mean..?"

"I do," he grinned.

"Oh, God, it hurts!"

"This remedy is a joke!"

"We're in even more pain than we were before!"

"Are you sure you're doing it right?"

Captain Unohana sat with her back to the wall in a cushioned armchair with her usual smile. If they didn't know better, they'd say that she was enjoying this. Her remedy of dealing with their hangovers consisted of strapping them down to hospital beds and sticking acupuncture needles into their faces. But that was about the kindest thing she had done to them so far! In the beginning of their treatment, she had given them all a potion that induced vomiting to clear out their systems. Once empty, but still queasy, they were forced onto beds under a bunch of bright lights and started to stick leeches on their bodies to suck out the remaining alcohol in their bodies. And now she was sticking needles into their faces!

"I… I'm sorry… but I don't think you're doing it right…" Kira whimpered. He wanted to voice his complaints but at the same time he didn't want Unohana to hear him. She was very scary.

Still smiling, she approached his bed. "Believe me, Kira Izuru… I'm giving you all the treatment you deserve."

Ikkaku wanted to rub his forehead, but couldn't on account of the needles. "Couldn't you just give us some old fashioned medicine? You know, like the kind you gave to Hitsugaya. Why's he get out of this?"

A sudden thought occurred to Hisagi at that moment. He lifted his head just so to look at the female captain. "Wait… Don't tell me that… Did he request you do this to us?"

Her smile deepened. "You're the ones who are trying to kill your livers and such. That's your business…" An evil aura appeared around her form, making her smile look a little less than gentle and sweet. "But don't go around thinking that you should do the same to others. The next time someone is unwilling to have a drink with you, kindly leave them be and not force them."

"So he did talk to you, did he?" Hisagi groaned miserably.

Unohana forced him to lie back down. "Now hold still. I have to stick the next batch in." She pulled out a box filled with even larger needles.

The men gulped.

Kira's face turned pale. "Are… Aren't those porcupine quills?"

"Indeed."

He began to shake.

"Now, now… You mustn't do that." She pulled out a large quill. "These are quite thick and I have to stick them in certain areas. Kindly hold still… Otherwise I might accidently hit a nerve and paralyze you."

Kira gripped his bed tightly, digging his nails into the mattress. Why did he have to be first? Unohana leaned over him with the quill. She was aiming for between his eyes. He shook, unable to stop. And still, she kept smiling.

Hisagi turned to Ikkaku. "Are we all in agreement? Never again, right?"

"Force Hitsugaya to drink or steal Rangiku's sake and drink it in their office in the middle of the day?"

"Both. But the first one the most."

"Oh, yeah. Never again."

Shunsui sighed, forcing a smile. "Good times, huh, guys?"

Kira yelped in pain. "YEOW!"

THE END!

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