A/N Probably not necessary, but incase you were wondering these characters don't belong to me and the lyrics all belong to Halestorm.
For those of you who have been following this little adventure, hope this chapter was worth the wait. I took a little vacation from work this week and spent some quality time with the fam, real life overruled my fictional obsessions. Think I'm gonna have this wrapped up in a couple more chapters, so hang with me, the end is near.
CHAPTER FIVE
Spencer was nervous; she was pacing outside Ashley's closed dressing room door.
The blonde had easily gained access to the back of the arena. Several members of the crew were actually excited to see her, after engaging in polite conversation and a few hugs she had asked about Ashley. Within seconds three of the stage hands and the sound guy were texting, calling and radioing anyone they could think of to discover the rock stars location, as no one had seen her since the show ended.
Eventually the drummer, RJ, intercepted some of the traffic and found his way to the back of the stadium. Spencer didn't see him coming and before she knew it she was enveloped in a bone crushing embrace. After the drummer let her up for air, they exchanged quick playful banter and he pointed her towards the dressing rooms. Before she departed RJ told her that Ashley was alone and that the band had several hours before they had to be packed up and on the road for their next show.
That had been about ten minutes ago and Spencer was still wearing a hole in the floor. She couldn't do it, now that she was standing here, she couldn't open the door. RJ said she was alone, that she had turned down Joey and some 'friends', the same as she had every night for the past six months.
The blonde wanted to believe what she'd been told, but even if she did, what if tonight was different. She couldn't stomach the idea of finding Ashley in the arms of someone else. Spencer didn't necessarily believe that Ashley had been celibate during the last six months, she had no reason to be, and it was completely against her nature. Maybe she was just being more discrete than normal, if so, she could be with some one right now.
The nervous blonde shook that thought from her head, she had no reason or right to feel jealous. Ashley was an adult and could do what she wanted, but just the thought of it brought back painful memories.
Spencer stopped pacing and stood staring at the door, she felt the cool cinder blocks against her shoulders as she backed against the far wall. The blonde forced her eyes from the door and up to the ceiling as she leaned her head back. The last time she had stopped by unannounced it had been the beginning of the end for them.
…………………….flashback………three years ago…………
"Hey gorgeous."
Ashley looked up to see one of her dancers leaning against the door jam of the bathroom that connected to her dressing room. The rock star tried not to react to the fact that her half naked body was being raked over by hungry eyes.
She responded to her visitor with a heavy sigh, "Do you need something?"
Madison replied with obvious sexual innuendo, "You."
"Cute," the rocker replied with noticeable sarcasm. Ashley tried to ignore the girl and instead focused on her reflection as she straightened her hair. She had walked right into that one and a year or so ago she would have pounced on the opportunity, but these days she was trying to behave, or at least make up for the guilt that was eating her alive.
Madison wasn't dissuaded by the brunette's rejection; she confidently stepped up behind the brunette and met her reflection in the mirror. Green eyes met brown and it was very clear what the dancer wanted.
Ashley took a deep breath and tried to speak calmly, she did not want the feisty Latina to know the actual affect she was having on her. "Not gonna happen."
"Already did." The reply was soft, seductive as she inched as close as possible to Ashley without actually touching her.
The petite brunette couldn't control the slight tremble her body released as she reacted to the voluptuous girl radiating body heat against her nearly bare back. She fixed a hard glare on the green eyes reflected over her shoulder and gritted out through clenched teeth. "It was a mistake."
Madison boldly dropped a feather light kiss on Ashley's shoulder ever thankful that she had caught the rock princess just out of the shower, she trailed her eyes over the black bra and jeans that seductively clung to the rockers body. The dancer smiled as she remembered how that same body had clung to her and responded to her touch, "It was a mistake worth repeating."
The rock princess was clinging to her resolve; she had made a promise to Spencer two months ago when she left on this European tour. Ashley looked at her reflection and the ring on her left hand glared back, mocking her. It wasn't an engagement ring, Spencer thought they were too young, but it was a promise that the school girl was going to remain true to her and she asked her rock princess to do the same. Ashley had failed.
She had failed in more ways than one throughout their relationship, but the drunken night she had spent with Madison was the first time she had been completely unfaithful. She tried to rationalize what happened, vocalizing her own defense. "I was drunk and you were high. It never should have happened and it won't happen again."
This time the Latina actually looked hesitant but that quickly melted into determination and she swiftly pulled Ashley into her, turning her head roughly so she could kiss the rock star. Ashley went rigid and didn't respond to the lips against her own. Her body however betrayed her and she became painfully aware of the hand that was making its way along the top of her jeans, over toned abs, and finally cupped her over her bra. She was disappointed in her lack of self control and wanted to cry when she moaned and pushed harder into the hand that was ruining her.
Madison broke the kiss and smirked at the dazed brunette's expression. Both hands freely wandered her body and she began laying kisses along the top of bronzed shoulders, but when a hand dipped into the front of the rocker's jeans she was surprised to find the petite brunette grasping her wrist.
Ashley was trying to focus and breathe, she was thinking about Spencer, reminding herself that she wanted to be with Spencer. Even though she could close her eyes and pretend that the wandering hands and lips belonged to the beautiful blonde, they didn't. The rock star clung to her last shred of self control and focused on the school girl, she couldn't lose her.
She was the one constant in Ashley's ever changing world, the only person that the rock star could always lean on, Ashley wouldn't let her hormone driven self ruin the singular real relationship that she had ever had. Spencer meant more to her than that, it would crush her to lose the beautiful blonde from her life. It would break her heart.
Ashley didn't even register the continued affection she was receiving, Madison had slipped from her grasp and was continuing to let her hands stroke and manipulate Ashley's body. The brunette was too stunned by her revelation to respond. Was she in love? That was the only explanation; one could hardly become heartbroken unless someone else held their heart, right?
She didn't know she was even saying the words that were spinning in her head.
I'm in love with somebody
Madison heard the words but didn't even hesitate as she flicked the buttons loose on Ashley's button fly jeans. She could give a damn if the rock princess was in love, she knew what Ashley wanted and the Latina was about to give it to her.
Ashley finally snapped out of her daze when she felt probing fingers come dangerously close to making her knees buckle. She grabbed the other girl's wrist and flung her hand away, she dropped the long forgotten straight iron to the floor and leaned both hands on the vanity, mumbling more words to herself.
Found someone who completes me
"What is your problem?" Madison was getting pissed, that was twice she had been rejected right before she got what she was after.
Ashley spun around to face the Latina, her face was brilliant and her smile crinkled her nose in the most adorable way. She was completely lost in her own elation at what she had discovered. In that particular moment she did the one thing that helped save what she didn't even know she had already lost. She spoke the words sweetly as if she were revealing a cherished secret to her best friend.
I'm in love with somebody, Oh yeah
And its not you
What Ashley didn't know was that her school girl had cut class and flown half way across the globe to surprise her. That same girl had been standing in her dressing room listening and watching and was about to walk out of her life forever. The blonde stopped when she heard the sincerity and excitement in Ashley's voice.
Maybe she had overheard wrong, maybe this girl had been pursuing Ashley. Maybe they had crossed a line, but if the rock star set her straight and shut down her advances. Then maybe, just maybe, she could forgive her, because Spencer already knew that she loved Ashley. Hearing those feelings returned made her want to stay despite the fact that her chest felt as though it were being crushed by a freight train. She waited listening for what she wanted to hear.
"Chica, I don't care who you love, I'm not in it for all of that." Madison stepped seductively forward, forcing Ashley to back up into the vanity. She lowered her voice as she leaned in to kiss the shorter girl, "So why don't you stop talking and I'll show you things that farm girl doesn't even know about."
Ashley quickly raised her left hand in front of Madison's face, effectively cutting off the attempted kiss.
Read my finger whatcha gonna do?
She wiggled her ring finger and kept going on her tirade ignoring the shocked expression on the other girls face.
See these lips are all done talkin' to you
Ashley needed to end this once and for all and she wasn't going to hold anything back. The dancer had been after her for months, it had been easy to play off her advances with Spencer by her side, but the Latina was a player and the rock star had fallen far too easily into her trap.
I don't mean to bruise your ego
But I've had you nailed down for so long
Ashley placed both hands on Madison shoulders and with a flirtatious smile gave her a little nudge that sent her stumbling backwards. The brunette wanted to laugh at the expression on the dancers face
"Fuck you," raced from Madison's lips as turned and stormed out of the bathroom.
Ashley's nimble fingers started to do up the buttons of her jeans, but she stopped and glanced down at the script S tattooed on the inside of her hip. It had been a drunken whim, but at this moment she was so glad she had done it. Tracing a finger over it loving she smiled to herself and stated simply.
And I don't see your name on my tattoo
Ashley was filled with relief and hope that she could repair the damage she had done to her commitment to Spencer. She called out to the seething vixen hoping to get in a few parting shots as she grabbed a shirt to put on.
Hope you understand
It's been a long time coming
Its for the best
No offense
She hadn't expected a reply, honestly she thought Madison was long gone, "You'll be sorry Ashley, you and me it could have been really good."
What!? The rock princess couldn't believe what she was hearing. Seriously what had this girl failed to understand? She called out again as was finishing the buttons on her shirt and exited the bathroom.
I'm in love with somebody
Found someone who completes me
I'm in love with somebody, Oh yeah
And its not you
Her punishing outburst came to a stuttering end as she came face to face with her girlfriend. Madison stood arms crossed staring down the smaller blonde. For one heart stopping moment Ashley thought it was all over, she looked at Madison, her eyes pleading for her to leave without saying anything.
"Dios mio." Spencer turned in disbelief that the Latina had the audacity to speak up under the current circumstances. "Hey blonde, she can tell you she's in love with you, but It was my name she was screaming two weeks ago while I…"
Ashley cried out effectively ending Madison's antagonizing comment.
I know who you think you are
Spencer visibly flinched and felt sick at just the thought of what happened between them. She gripped the edge of the small love seat and tried to stop the room from spinning. She felt light headed. Maybe she was wrong maybe she couldn't forgive and forget. Spencer couldn't bare the thought of sharing her lover. If Ashley really did love her, was she capable of giving up her rock star ways? The blonde barely registered the words Ashley continued to shout at the other girl.
Sorry I've turned you on but I'm kissing you off
The brunette stalked over to Madison taking her by the arm she dragged the struggling Latina to the door and forcefully shoved her out, but the bigger girl stopped the door from being slammed in her face.
"Ashley you know I'm right, we were good together, we still can be." Madison reached out to tuck hair behind the brunette's ear but she jerked away from the touch.
Your lines are whiskey and cigarettes
They're not enough to make me forget
Ashley struggled with the door again trying to close it, then decided she didn't care; she let Madison stand there as she turned back to Spencer. The blonde wouldn't meet her eyes and it looked like she might be having an anxiety attack. The rocker whispered her thoughts.
I've got someone who has raised the bar
Madison hollered over Ashley's confession, "She'll screw you over again chica, you just wait, she's not a one person kind of person, Ashley wants things that you can't give her!"
Mocha eyes burned like hot coals when she spun back around, her aggression and rage caused green eyes to open wide and Madison took an involuntary step back. She'd never seen this side of Ashley; the hard partying rock star was usually all about a good time.
I've heard it all before
Stop spinning your wheels
I'll show you the door
No hard feelings
And with that Ashley slammed the door and locked it, turning she met Spencer's tear stained face. Shame burned through her and she dropped her eyes to the floor.
"Say it again."
Ashley snapped her gaze back to Spencer, her heart was racing, she felt trapped, no idea how to circumvent a disaster. Her eyes darted all around the room before resting back on sad blue eyes. "What?"
Spencer stood and searched Ashley's face, for what she wasn't sure, but she needed something, anything that could mend her aching heart. "Say it again, what you told her in the bathroom."
Panicked brown eyes focused only on her. "Spencer, please, I…," she stuttered unsure where to begin.
The blonde tilted her head and looked at her girlfriend with all the love she could muster considering her heart had all but stopped beating a few short moments ago. She waited for her gorgeous girlfriend to come to her senses.
Mocha eyes came alive with hope and she started with a whisper never breaking eye contact, her voice got stronger as she went.
I'm in love with somebody
Found someone who completes me
I'm in love with somebody
Ashley's train of thought was broken by a knock at the door. She was gonna kill that loco Latina right after she fired her. Storming up to the door she jerked it open as she screamed in frustration.
You've probably never been shot down before
Ill try and make it easier
Its not you
Her rant came to an abrupt halt when she found RJ on the other side of the door. His eyes were big and round and he looked like a fish out of water before he finally managed to sputter out. "Bus leaves in an hour."
Ashley just slammed the door in his face, turned back to her girlfriend and nearly came unglued; she could see hope and pain, confusion and desperation, love and regret. Everything swirled along with the tears in her cobalt eyes.
"Spence….please forgive me." Those were the only words she had left to say before her own tears slid down her face.
………..end...flashback……………………
It was a painful and slow recovery for them, but Spencer loved her and she believed that Ashley would never hurt her again. She also believed that after long months of rebuilding their relationship that her heart had mended and nothing would ever separate them again. She graduated from college went on the road with Ashley. They were going to make the impossible work.
But Spencer had been wrong, she recognized that now, she should have worked harder to deal with her feelings instead of just trying to make them go away. If only she had really worked through it and forced her rock princess to go to counseling with her, maybe she wouldn't have thrown everything away and be back begging for her own second chance.
Spencer snapped herself out of the painful memories and glared at the door handle, she was a breath away from the only person she had ever loved and she couldn't find the strength to take the last step. All the time, all the miles, and the wishing things were different weighed on the blonde. She knew Ashley's carefully crafted sexual deviant persona, she knew what the fans wanted and the rock star played to that, she gave them everything they wanted. Was Spencer ready to accept that lifestyle again? To know that Ashley would always flirt, always straddle the line of her relationship to feed the media and excite her fans. Could she trust that she wouldn't cross that very fuzzy line again?
She could, she would, if Ashley would give her another chance. Stepping forward Spencer reached for the door handle, but hesitated and decided to knock. Three short taps and she waited.