It had been so long since he'd come to visit at the hospital and all Mer wanted to do was hold her perfect son in her arms tightly. On her way home, she had swung by the Sloan's house and picked up Ethan from Grace, the Sloan's nanny. As soon as she saw her son, the curious little three year old asked for his daddy and baby brother. Meredith said "Well Ethan, I told you that your baby brother needs to grow a little and Daddy is going to stay with him to make sure baby Noah doesn't turn into a giant." At that point, Ethan nodded and giggled and Meredith tickled her son until the boy was begging for her to stop.

"How could she just leave me, Mark? Leave him?," said Derek. As soon as Der had discovered that his wife was gone, he knew immediately where she was going. He had called Grace to confirm that Mer had picked up Ethan and they were on their way home together. He shook his head and said to Mark "I mean how could she just leave him all alone? He's less then 5 pounds and struggling to survive, not even with his mother here to support and love him." Mark also shook his head, afraid to say anything at all costs so a fight didn't start to brew between the friends. Mark's pager went off and said he had to run and Derek watched him go. When he looked down and saw Noah sleeping, he knew there was nothing for him to do right now, and he called for Mark to wait up.

THE NEXT DAY

She didn't know whether it was the fact that Derek hadn't come home last night that worried Meredith. It was the first time since she could remember that he wasn't there to snuggle tight with her. She decided to pack up Ethan and head to the hospital to find her husband. On the drive over, she looked up in the rearview mirror to see her son asleep once again. She smiled and kept on driving to Seattle Grace. When she had parked and picked up Ethan since he refused to walk, she went into the doors and smacked right into Lexie. "Hey Lex," said Meredith. "Hey, what are you doing here," said Lexie. "Well, Derek never came home last night so me and Ethan came here," said Meredith. Studying Lexie's face, she knew that her sister was holding something back from her but she just didn't mention it. Instead she asked her sister if she could watch Ethan while she went to find Derek. Lexie more than eagerly took her son from her and Meredith was on her way to find her husband.

He was in surgery, doing a risky procedure on a patient from the pileup last night. The man had presented with a couple of cuts and bruises plus a headache and nothing seemed wrong until his brain scans came back indicating a brain bleed that was slowly killing the man. Derek had taken on the difficult task of trying to repair the active bleed and so far, he was three hours into at least an eight hour surgery. He felt odd all of a sudden like someone was watching him and looking up, he saw his wife standing there in the viewing gallery. She waved and he saw a slight smile before turning back to the exposed brain in front of him.

She saw the procedure he was doing and she knew by looking at it that it was going to be awhile. She was going to go find Ethan when she decided to take a small detour. She hadn't seen the baby since the day she left and she wondered about him now, all day and all night. She didn't know what had happened, but that day she had just snapped. The pressure from having a preemie and then all the medical problems that happened afterward had just let the tension build up and finally it had broke. She scrubbed her hands at the NICU making sure that no germs would go in there and after putting on some scrubs, she pressed the button to let her into the world her son was living in. It seemed a little quiet and when Meredith walked by on the way to her son, she saw every baby sleeping. No parents were around except for her and she only saw 2 nurses in sight which somehow made her feel a bit more relaxed. She walked to where her son's incubator was and saw his bright green eyes were showing. He looked so content, laying there still as can be. Meredith was just looking at him when she was startled by a nurse she had never seemed before. "Hi, my name is Evelyn," said the nurse. "Hi," said Meredith. She wasn't much for talking at the moment. All she wanted was to look at her baby and watch him breathe gently. She was struck with awe when Evelyn asked "Would you like to hold him?" "Can I?" said Meredith. Evelyn said "Sit down" and Meredith sat down in the rocking chair next to the incubator and she watched as Evelyn lifted her precious little boy into her arms and gently placed him into her own. He stirred slightly and Mer just rocked him back and forth until it was totally quiet again. He still had a nasal cannula on him, but it was better than the vent which had been taken off a couple of hours before according to the chart on the side table. Mer couldn't believe that she had turned away from this precious baby and she vowed never to do it again.

Derek had finally finished surgery and was now looking for his wife. He had bumped into Lexie and Mark who were walking out with Ethan. "Where's Meredith?" asked Derek. Lexie said "we thought she was with you. Why don't you find her and when you do, come to dinner at our house? We'll take Ethan with us to play with Nate for awhile." Derek nodded and started walking to his safe haven before going to look for his wife. He scrubbed at the NICU and walked in, heading towards his son's corner when he stopped short. He saw a person holding his son and when he looked closer, he saw it was his wife. She had the baby in the crook of her left arm and with her right hand, she was stroking his head. She was smiling at the sleeping baby and Derek stepped forward. He saw his wife look up and she smiled at him. She started to say "I'm sor..", but Derek stopped her by putting a finger to his mouth, not wanting to ruin the perfect moment.