The Best of Intentions
Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager, its characters, etc. are owned by Paramount.
Chapter Two
When Chakotay entered the briefing room, there was dead silence. He paused for a moment in the threshold, glancing at Tuvok behind him, then strode over to the conference table and seated himself at the head.
"Commander?" Harry asked, his voice cracking slightly. "I thought…" He trailed off, looking intensely uncomfortable as he shifted in his seat and tried to avoid Chakotay's eyes. Tom, however, was not so reticent. He was up and standing before anyone could even react.
"Care to tell me what's going on here, Chakotay?" he demanded. "Where's Captain Janeway? And why do I have a feeling she has no idea this little meeting is occurring?"
"Sit down, Tom," Chakotay said quietly.
"If I remember correctly, you currently have no authority to give me orders," Tom spat back. He shoved the chair from behind him, obviously intending to head for the doors. Instantly, Tuvok was blocking his path of egress, his eyes like flint, his posture formidable.
"I, however, do," he said simply. "Please be seated, Lieutenant Paris." Tom locked eyes with the Vulcan for several nearly tangible seconds before backing away and returning to his chair beside B'Elanna with a thump. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back, his eyes burning with indignation.
"Commander, if I may," Neelix said, his head bobbing nervously. "I don't...I don't mean to question your intentions, but-"
"Neelix," B'Elanna interjected sharply. "Let's just listen to what Chakotay has to say." Her voice was strong, almost strident, but her eyes were narrowed by an instinctive wariness.
Chakotay sighed heavily and leaned forward with his elbows resting on the table. He studied the circle of remaining senior officers and tiredly rubbed a hand across his face. His eyes met Tuvok's for an instant, and the Vulcan nodded.
"I don't know how many of you are aware of the events that occurred with Noah Lessing," he began, his tone careful. Silence, but out of the corner of his eye, Chakotay could see Harry stiffen almost imperceptibly. Harry had been on the bridge, he realized, and had heard the terse exchange between Kathryn and Tuvok about the shields failing in Section 29 Alpha.
"Captain Janeway…questioned…Noah Lessing about the tactical status of the Equinox. When he refused to tell her…" Chakotay paused, everything in him rebelling at this final betrayal of Kathryn. He stared almost unseeingly at the faces gathered around him, faces that had gone from doubtful to uneasy. It seemed they knew what he was about to say. Chakotay swallowed hard then continued. "She dropped the shields." There was a collective yet silent almost-gasp from the assembled officers, an internal wince that was evident in their eyes. Chakotay dropped his head.
"She refused to listen to me," he half-whispered. "And so I had to save him. Interspatial fissures had already begun to open in the room. I went in and grabbed him. And then made him tell me about the Ankari. After the staff meeting, when I confronted her about it, she…relieved me of duty." He bit back the words that wanted to spill forth regarding that particular encounter. They were irrelevant to the conversation at hand. And they hurt like hell.
An ocean of silence crashed upon the room, its trickling fingers touching each one of them as they meandered through their own thoughts. Eyes met then flickered away. Mouths opened then shut again. The air was rife with disillusionment, and perhaps even a touch of fear, and Chakotay thought he would be sick.
It was Neelix who spoke first. "Commander," he said quietly. "What are you proposing we do? The danger seems to have passed for the moment." Five sets of eyes zeroed in on him and clung with whatever remaining hope they had for an impasse.
"There is more," Tuvok said bluntly, and the last bit of optimism shattered. Shoulders slumped all around, and strained faces turned his way, preparing for the axe to fall yet again. Chakotay nodded at the Vulcan, yielding the floor to him. It was, after all, Tuvok's story to tell.
"I was with Captain Janeway when she met with the Ankari today. We tried to explain to them that we are attempting to capture and incarcerate the Equinox crew. They did not seem placated by this notion. Moreover, they were angered by our refusal to assist them. So Captain Janeway agreed to their terms. She agreed to turn the Equinox and its crew over to them."
Harry Kim had come to Voyager abounding with fresh-faced enthusiasm. The last five years had done much to ravage that naiveté, and an older, more mature man now sat at the conference table with the senior staff. And yet, it wasn't until that moment, the precise instant the final word passed Tuvok's lips, that Chakotay truly saw the last vestiges of Harry's innocence buried beneath the weight of what had become their burdens in the Delta Quadrant.
Chakotay stood and began pacing the length of the room, suddenly unable to even meet their eyes. He felt like he had destroyed them all, and it was only with effort that he reminded himself who was really to blame.
"We have to do something! We can't allow her to do that! The aliens would annihilate them!" It was B'Elanna's voice, and a touch of her old Maquis belligerence was evident. Chakotay fought down a wry smile. He stood at the panoramic viewport, his back to all of them, his eyes fixated on the blurring stars before him.
"Precisely. Protecting the crew of Equinox is of paramount importance," the Doctor chimed in. And then added hastily, "As well as our own crew." It was the first time he had spoken during the meeting, and several heads nodded at his assertions.
"I agree," Neelix spoke up. "If I've learned anything about Captain Janeway, it's how very much she values life and the individual. She may be blinded by her need for retribution right now, but I don't think she'd ever forgive us if we didn't do something about it. We owe it to her."
"He's right, Commander," Harry said, and as if the final verdict had thus been delivered, relief suddenly flooded the room, a welcome distraction in the sudden absence of the malaise that had settled upon them all. Chakotay turned back to face them, and the very ghost of a smile crossed his lips.
"I can't tell you how relieved I am that we're in agreement concerning this," he said softly. "This is not easy for me. I can't imagine it is for any of you either. And it may only get harder from here."
"Commander," Tuvok said. "I believe all of us have not yet voiced our opinions. Lieutenant Paris?"
The room was silent as all eyes were suddenly riveted to the top of Tom's blond head.
"Tom?" Chakotay said, forcing himself to speak in a firm tone. Tom reluctantly looked up and met the eyes of the First Officer.
"Chakotay," he said, his eyes pleading for understanding, "She's done everything for me. She gave me a second chance when no one else in the galaxy would. Everything I am right now I owe to her."
"Mr. Paris," Tuvok objected. "You are allowing your emotions to rule your decisions. You must think logically."
"That's easy for you to say, Tuvok," Tom said tightly.
"The Captain's behavior in the past is irrelevant to this discussion," Tuvok continued smoothly. "As is yours."
"Maybe to you it is! " Tom burst out, rising from his seat and standing with his arms crossed over his chest. He was breathing hard, and B'Elanna reached up to touch his arm. His voice softened.
"How…how can you ask me to do this?" The room was silent for a moment in the wake of his distress.
Surprisingly, it was Neelix who spoke next. "Tom," he said gently, with none of his usual exuberance, "our loyalty to Captain Janeway is not in question here. I'll be the first one to admit that she has made me into a better person than I ever have been. But what she's doing right now is wrong. We're trying to protect innocent lives. We're—" Neelix got no further as Tom's fist came crashing down on the conference table.
"Innocent lives?" he cried with a wild laugh. "The crew of the Equinox is far from innocent."
"Tom," Chakotay interjected, "I believe what Neelix is trying to say is that—" Tuvok rose from his chair, interrupting him.
"Gentlemen," he said. "This discussion, while fraught with obvious idealism and passion, is beside the point. And we have very little time left, if we are going to put our plan into effect." Tom glared at the Vulcan for several uncomfortable seconds, then dropped heavily into his chair once again, refusing to meet the eyes of B'Elanna next to him.
"Plan?" Harry queried.
"Yes, Mr. Kim," Tuvok replied. "Commander Chakotay and I have devised a plan to relieve the Captain in such a manner that only the senior staff will be aware of the situation."
"I'm sure that Captain Janeway will notice," Tom muttered, loudly enough for the entire table to hear. Chakotay frowned at him but made no further comments.
"What will this plan entail? B'Elanna asked, leaning towards him.
Chakotay paused, took a deep breath, and then announced, "We're going to stage an alien attack."
Twenty minutes later, the details of the plan had been painstakingly hammered out and each participant knew his function. Harry and B'Elanna rushed off to main engineering to create the program that would simulate a shield failure, a sequence of commands that Harry would enter from his station at Ops. Tuvok assumed his normal station on the bridge after he and Chakotay had discussed the logistics of their roles. Neelix had left to prepare dinner, suddenly bubbling with enthusiasm about his latest incarnation of leola root casserole, a tactic undeniably gauged to distract himself from the reality of what they were about to do. At the moment, Neelix had little role to play in the proceedings; however, the shadowed look in his eyes clearly delineated the mixed feelings he had about what his role might entail in the future. The Doctor, whose primary responsibility it would be to keep the captain sedated in Sickbay, headed towards the turbolift doors, his usual smug smile in place, but then turned to look at Chakotay.
"Commander, if I may inquire, what are your plans for the Equinox crew?" His voice was deliberately casual, but Chakotay sensed an underlying edginess that rather unnerved him. He felt as if the Doctor was comparing him to Captain Janeway—and finding him wanting. He shook off the thought, reminding himself that the Doctor's tendency towards acerbic remarks was merely a by-product of his personality subroutines.
"I don't know, Doctor," he admitted. "My first priority is to save them and somehow negotiate with the aliens to end these attacks. As for after that…" His voice trailed off. The Doctor studied him for a moment then nodded and exited silently.
And that left Tom Paris. As the others filed out, their steps quickened with adrenaline and an urge to flee from the guilt-infested room, Chakotay approached Tom, who remained seated at the conference table.
"Tom?" Chakotay said softly. "We may need you to help the Doctor 'take care' of the Captain down in Sickbay if things get…rough. Can you do that for us?" Tom sighed.
"What you're doing is wrong," he said tiredly, rubbing his hands across his face. "And I won't be a part of it." He stopped, obviously struggling with his emotions.
"But what the Captain is doing is also wrong," he continued in an almost-whisper, looking down at his clenched hands now balancing on the table in front of him. "So I won't stand in your way." The final words were exhaled in a rush, as if he couldn't expel them from his mouth quickly enough.
Chakotay stood, clapping his hand onto Tom's shoulder.
"I had hoped this would be a unanimous decision," he said gravely. "But I understand your feelings, Tom. In fact, I share them." He swallowed hard, his face reddening at Tom's sudden, intense gaze. "But I have to do what's right. In the end, that's more important than anything else."
"I'll do whatever I can to make sure that Captain Janeway doesn't get hurt." Tom's voice was flat. Chakotay nodded.
"Thanks, Tom," he said. "I'll hold you to that."
And without a backwards glance, Chakotay strode from the conference room, his broad shoulders held painfully erect, struggling against the weight that he now bore across them.
To be continued...