Disclaimer: The Wonderful World of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing but the plot and Lily Evans' literary voice and attitude.
A Look At Wonderland
by Wired Dragonfli
Chapter Seven – Rich Black Chocolate
November 8
I am feeling so crappy right now.
I feel like crap.
Here's a rhyme:
My name is Lily,
I'm feeling like shit.
I'm not being silly
Not one bit.
I was right…I was PMSing. This morning I woke up and lo and behold…I had painters in. I have the worst cramps the first day. Honestly, even the Slythie girls sympathize and don't bug me for the day.
I need all the sympathy I can get. I didn't shower last night, so this morning. I just pulled by hair into a ponytail and I was off. My face is also a bit zitty, but I used a glamour charm and it was fine.
Then I pulled on my comfy pants, 100 cotton, and my Chucks…so comfy and loose. I had a Gryffindor hoodie-sweater thing on. Or is it a sweatshirt? What's the sodding difference?
Then to make myself look weirder, I put on my robe, and Sirius' robe (or else I would just forget about it completely and never return it and prolly use it to line Napkin's cage) and dragged my book bag downstairs.
I almost wished I was a boy so I could slide down the stairs…you know…that turn into a slide when boys come near it…and not have to use my legs…also, no more PMS, or cramps, or anything.
It'd be odd to have something hanging between my legs though…terribly odd.
So then I sat down on a nice stuffed couch and got out my Potions book. For a few minutes…I stared at the book and couldn't, for the life of me, remember what I was supposed to do.
"I'm sorry…did I tell you I was sorry?" said a long-haired bloke as he swung himself over the top of the couch and landed beside me. "Because I really am…"
He scared the shit out of me, and I started crying because of this stress and the self pitying and all that. Then I slapped myself, and wiped my tears and shut up. A very amusing string of actions, I am told.
I realized I had to answer Sirius, "I'm fine, and honestly…it's just that time of the month…" I said, winking.
And he grinned, and then I grinned, because it is a joke between me and Sirius, concerning Remus. Once a month, he worries himself sick over his mother, and disappears to visit him…HER…sorry…I'm really out of it. One day, Sirius had an epiphany and related it to menstruation…and I think you can go from there.
Peter came down the stairs and made a beeline for us. He sat in a chair opposite the couch, and handed me a box of chocolate…I mean chocolates…but a box made of chocolate would have been cool too.
"From James…" he said, and I took the box, having enough grace to quirk my eyebrow and not much else. Peter quickly explained. "He was afraid you'd castrate him if he came down himself."
I wanted to laugh, but I didn't have the grace for that. Have you ever had a weird moment, when your mouth is glued shut, and you can't open it, and you just make strange noises? Yeah, me, right about then.
"She means to say: 'Send him down!'" Sirius translated, after getting over the appalling lowing noise I had made. This was, of course, not what I wanted to say at all.
My eyebrows went up and I tried to say no, but Sirius had grabbed the box out of my hand and opened it.
"Honeydukes chocolate…I never get Honeydukes chocolate…" he frowned heavily and fingered one of the chocolates before popping it into his mouth.
"Hey!" I said, scandalized, before ripping my chocolate from his grasp.
"You're right…it is that time of the month," Sirius muttered in a disgruntled manner.
"Oh, if you say it, it must be true. The blood in my knickers this morning has nothing to do with it." I snapped, nibbling on one of the confections.
"Eew, Evans, too much information…" he said, and started to make gagging noises while Peter turned red around the cheeks.
"Truffles!" I chirped happily. "I love truffles!"
"I'm glad…" said a meek voice, before swinging its body over the side of the chair and landing beside me on my other side…did that make sense?
I grinned, all of last night forgotten. I'm like that…I forgive and forget very easily, and a bad event usually can't get me down for more than a few hours. I then assaulted him with a large hug before returning to my truffles.
He looked confused, but shrugged it off as another case of ranging teenage hormones. Not the sexual kind…the growing-up-able-to-make-babies kind…okay…no wait. I dunno what kind.
Remus came down stairs at this point, yawning before handing James a stack of papers. They were for Quidditch tryouts.
"Ah, yes, the game's in a few weeks? Why wait so long to have tryouts?" I said, already half done with my chocolates.
"Our dear captain has been captivated by a girl for most of the beginning of this year, and forgot all about the tryouts…but of course, his excuse is that he's letting everyone getting into the best shape they can for the tryouts." answered Loony, Loopy Lupin.
James is the captain and a chaser, Sirius is a beater, Remus is the keeper, and Peter is the reserve keeper. They're all on the team.
Yes, I did note the girl reference and can only assume it is directed to me, but it might be Nancy or whatever. I'm getting nauseated just thinking about it.
"The game is in four weeks, tryouts are on Wednesday…and practice is every other day after that. We're playing Ravenclaw, and they've got two new chasers and a new seeker," said, James, launching into his infamous Quiddy talk, "Of course, first match of the season is this weekend, Slytherin against Ravenclaw, so we get to observe two teams. If Ravenclaw wins, we beat them and we're all the better off, but Slytherins are cheating scum—"
"Hear, hear!" said the beater.
"—so they might win, but if we beat them and Ravenclaw then we're a shoe in, I'm not too worried about Hufflepuff, Diggory has broken something five minutes into each game, and I doubt he's become more coordinated. They have no reserve keeper; Merlin knows they're all wonky in the head…too much studying I tell you…"
"Diggory's not a wanker," came Emmy's cranky voice. She stumbled down the stairs in front of Marlene, who was showered and ready to go. She had long since stopped going in front of Emmy as the girl had a habit of tripping over her own too feet this early in the morning.
James looked up and grinned, "Say, you think you can distract him from the stands? Maybe we can get him in the hospital only three minutes into the game."
"What's that?" Em said weakly, squinting at a portrait of Godric and thinking it was James. "Since when do you have a beard?"
"Oh for the love of Merlin, just get yourself some coffee and wake up!" said Marlene very loudly before picking up my open Potions book, "I'm assuming you came down here early to do your Potions homework…"
"Yes…" I said, and she raised an eyebrow.
"I'm assuming you realized you didn't know what it was."
"Yes…"
"I'm assuming you forgot you finished it all in class."
"Oh…" I said, very surprised. I shut the book and Emmeling (Oh…that's better! Liling, Emmeling, and Marling…we can be the Ling Trio!) started awake.
"Barkin…coffee please…" she muttered, and the boys exchanged looks.
There was a crack and our favorite house-elf arrived with a cup of coffee. He was noticeable sober.
"Barkin! What are you doing here?" Emmy asked, taking the mug from his hands.
"Mrs. Vance sent Barkin to work. No more butter beer for Barkin…" he said sadly, "Barkin is replaced by Batty…"
Batty is another house-elf…they got a lot of new house-elves recently, all of them with names vaguely alluding to insanity. Barkin, Batty, Twitchy, Kraisy…a joke of Mr. Vance's…
"Oh, no Barkin, I still need you." Emmy said consolingly, "I'm going to be calling on you more often now that I know you're here. The house-elf perked up, and asked happily: "Would Miss like some marshmallows with her coffee?"
"Thank you, I'm fine," Emmy said warmly. Barkin nodded and disappeared with a crack.
"That was…interesting…" Remus remarked, before going back to discussing strategy with James. Emmy heard this and shimmied into their conversation. It came out that Em was trying out for Seeker or Chaser.
"Great, now all our friends are on the Quidditch team, Marls. We'll be all alone in the stands." I said in a very dramatic voice.
"Come this weekend, I will be commentating…" said Marlene, and I gave a woe-be-gone cry. "I was going to ask you to join me but if you're going to act like a child…"
"Oh don't get me started Marls, we all know you're a brat when yours comes around…and that's in a few days. Note that I will not be pleased if you Hex me to get into the bathroom one more time…" I snarled…well, no I didn't, but I got her right where it hurts.
Marlene hates talking about womanly stuff in front of blokes, to her, it is an utter disgrace or something. It can't be avoided. When we three…bleed…we all bleed together, within the same week…the adjustment thing or whatever. And since we are the only fifth year girls, and they are the only fifth year boys, they go through hell during that week and a half.
"How weird would it be to have two moody girls doing the commentary for Friday's match?" I wondered aloud.
"Not very weird, but it will definitely be amusing." Remus said, and we all had a hearty laugh.
The Match
November 12
"Welcome to the first match of the season, Ravenclaw vs. Slytherin. I'm your host, Marlene McKinnon, and for today, as well as the rest of this year, I will be joined by my good friend, Lily Evans," said Marlene, after having placed the Sonorus spell on her vocal chords.
I did the same and waved at the crowd as a cheer went up. Of course, they couldn't see me but who cares.
"It is a lovely Friday, and we have no classes. I, for one, am glad to get out of double HoM." I said, cheerily, surprised that anyone laughed as I was being very corny.
"You're glad to get out of any class," Marlene drawled, and there were more chuckles from the stands.
"Alright, now we're going to attempt to keep you amused for the next ten minutes while the players get ready…they're worse than us on the day of the Masquerade…and we came half an hour late." I flicked my wand and the famous drum beat played after lame jokes came one over the crowds muttering
Ha, ha…went the crowd.
"We would like to take this chance to congratulate Emmeline Vance, Gryffindor teams new Seeker!" and then Marls started clapping and I clapped along. McG gave us an annoyed look, but as the match hadn't even started yet, it couldn't count as distracting the teams.
We spent the next few minutes dramatizing the skills of the Gryffindor Quiddy team.
"Don't miss the match, Ravenclaw against Gryffindor, December 5th! We'll be here but don't let that keep you from coming!" I said.
Marlene groaned and knocked her head against the table repeatedly.
"Well don't knock yourself out; I can't do this on my own…" I whispered, but everyone heard as I forgot to take the charm off.
"And here come the players," she said, ignoring me and continuing to bash her head into the table. I gave McG a look and she told Marls to stop.
"On the Ravenclaw team, we have Pail, Stevenson, Kipling, Crane, Bligh, Lovegood, and Cooper." Marling said, and the Ravenclaws burst into cawing. Diggory got knocked out right before the game…and they did have a replacement keeper…
Great…I have to introduce the Slythies.
"Look what just blasted up from hell…" I said, feigning awe, the crowd chortled, and I apologized to McG on the grounds that I couldn't resist. "Slytherin house has some of Hogwarts finest on their team this year," more sarcasm…
"Avery, Bode, Crabbe, Goyle, Snape, Malfoy, and Nott." Marlene said dryly. I pouted.
Ooh…Marls is in a bad mood…ha ha, she's still halfway through hers.
"C'mon Slythies…hiss for your team!" I said in what might have been a cheerful voice if the malicious sadistic tone was filtered out.
They did not hiss. I was not surprised. Marlene was not amused.
"Hooch blows her whistle," herein I giggled, and Marls rolled her pretty little eyes into her head where they got stuck and she was blinded forever, "and the game starts. Pail grabs the quaffle and thunders down the pitch…"
I provided sound effects for the word "thunders".
"And Bode intercepts brutally, and passes to Snape, who passes to Malfoy who attempts to score and—"
"Bam!" went I, as Lovegood slammed Malfoy into the stands. Billiam Lovegood (yes…I know…don't ask.) refuses to use any broom but his father's Comet 13. The rest are infected with snargles.
No penalty was marked, or whatever, and Hooch even complained to Malfoy that he should know by now to avoid Lovegood's broom. You see, last year, Bill fell off, landed in the crowd, and the broom sped off and broke Malfoy's nose…so sodding hilarious…James had a field day with that one…or field week…or whatever.
Bill's a brilliant chaser though, sure…everyone avoids him, but he has great aim. Almost as good as our dear Mr. Potter…
…
Oh Shit!
shitshitshitshitSHIT!
I said that out loud…
Out loud…
But it's okay…
I don't think anyone noticed.
Right…
About five minutes later I had convinced myself he didn't hear. I was totally believed that he didn't. 'Lily, don't worry about things you can't change' I was chanting to myself…and I was starting to believe it when…
James Potter walked in through the doors, followed by Sirius, who winked at McG, followed by Remus who bowed to McG, followed by Peter, who became confused and did something between a wink and a bow.
A wow…or a bink…haha…both are strange words.
Then, I, who am stupid, had to mention the wow and bink thing…while still charmed to be loud. Which Sirius found amusing, and cast the spell on himself.
They all did…so now…there were seven commentators….including the unmentionable Emmy Vance who did nothing but laugh at me from the moment she walked in…
…and none of them were doing their jobs. McG had just shaken her head and left, as there was no room in the commentators' box…but not before she gave Marls a significant look.
So I can goof around…and it's all Marlene's responsibility.
"That sounds like a swear word." Sirius said sagely.
"What?" I said.
"Idiot-say-what?" James asked.
"What?" I said, again. Then they all laughed at me, and I pouted, and they laughed some more. "binks…"
The Match
November 12…3 hours later.
"This is the game that never ends…" started James for the 50th time.
"It goes on and on my friends…" I sang, straining my breath and forcing out the word "friends".
"Some people started playing it…"
"And then they couldn't stop…"
"This is the game that never ends…" it went again, in the same tone as the first line.
Em, Rem, and Peter were playing exploding snap in the corner. Sirius was poking Marlene and trying to get her to talk to him. Marlene was just sitting there with her head on her arms.
James and I were the only ones with the sonorous charm on, and we were singing the song for all twenty two of the people left in the stands.
Twenty two…
We should know. We had counted them about ten zillion times.
"Shut UP!" came a groan from somewhere nearby, and a bludger was aimed at the box, where it broke the wall behind us and set off almost all the exploding snap cards. I just laughed like a maniac and James went pale. The ball had rushed about three cm away from his face.
Speaking of his face, the look on it made me wet myself laughing. Well not really, but you know. The Slytherin that aimed it was taken out of the game, and it still went on. However, we just took off the charms with a "quietus" and sat there blankly for a few moments.
The reason I like James so much is because I can always have a nice conversation with him. Even silences are nice and comfortable…no awkwardness whatsoever. No, that wasn't sarcasm…and neither was that…or that….oh my Godric I can't stop.
…
LATER…muchmuchmuch LATER.
Still the same day, and place though…just much later.
Subject: I
I ate a penguin today. –Lily Evans
So I start off with today...? –James Potter
And the subject should be…J.
Today, James killed Sirus.
You did…did you?
Sentence: Sirius killed is strange?
Are you serious?
No, I'm not. This isn't working…let's just use the last word of each sentence.
Fine by me.
…Sirius is a strange one.
One dog can eat a lot of food.
Food at Hogwarts is good.
Goodbye Lily Evans…
Evans, Lily is confused as to what you mean.
Mean—ing, I am talking nonsense.
Nonsense!
Nonsense…this game is dead.
Dead people would agree, since they would know.
Know what?
What is dead.
Dead people would know because they're dead.
Dead again?
Again, this game is unamusing.
Unamusing enough as to only have really lasted a few lines.
Still later….
Blah blah blah…
"What's your birthday?" I asked, after a long silence. James adjusted his glasses and gave me a look.
The look gave me the feeling that it was strange to be asked your birthday randomly.
"Thinking of getting me something?" he said after a while cocking his head to the side cockily.
"No…I just want to know your sign…so I'll just come out and ask you…what's your sign?" I dead-panned.
"Sign?" he questioned…thought he knew exactly what I was talking about, he had that certain mischievous glimmer in his eyes. "I believed it would be Caution, Stag Crossing."
"That's Deer Crossing…" I corrected incorrectly…because I'm sure it's not any sort of "crossing"…
"Whatever," he said quietly, waving it away with his hand, then putting the arm that waved the hand across my shoulders.
Smooth…very smooth. It was done so subtly one might not have noticed. Except I'm a prude and was probably blushing merely from having his arm around my shoulders. While I was trying to calm my flaming cheeks down, a pause ensued, and at the end of it, he responded to my question.
"I'll tell you some other time, it might prompt you to talk to me more frequently than once a month," then he winked, got up and dragged Sirius off of Marlene, who yanked Remus by the hair to get him up, who in turn kicked Peter to get him to follow. Then they left and a cheer went up.
Marlene looked up and quickly cast a charm to make her voice booming. "And Ravenclaw wins due to the seeker of Slytherin being incapacitated sometime between when I stopped caring enough to stop commentating and now."
Some more cheers went up and Marlene moodily left the room with Emmy, and I sat like a moron trying not to blush or giggle before Emmy came back and kicked my shoe.
An Obscure Hallway DMO (During Moment of Occurrence)
November 15
He was sitting next to me in some abandoned hallway that (oh so) ironically, he had led me into. He was dabbing an ice-wrapped-in-paper-towel thing on my hand.
James, coincidentally, was also the one to pour hot water from a boiling cauldron onto my hand only three minutes into potions…so yeah, he should b the one nrsing it to health.
But every time his warm hand shifted on my cold, numb arm, my heart strings jerked and I felt awkward and out of place…but I've grown to associate that feeling with ecstasy.
I am the most prudish-on-the-inside person I know. Sure, flirting with every guy I talk to is no problem (well it's a problem in the form of this disease I have where it's the only way I can talk to guys…which gets me unwanted admirers), but touching them…or them touching me? Total spine-tingling experience.
"Why aren't we in the hospital wing?" I asked quietly, even though all I wanted to do was run my fingers though his unnaturally shiny and healthy hair, and mess it up even more than it way…gah…run from the raging teenage hormones.
"Because the healing potion Pomfrey has involved reliving the burning experience for a half an hour longer to reverse the effect," he replied.
But I wasn't listening, and it bothered me how he kept focusing on my hand, like he didn't want to look at me. I'm assuming it's because he killed my hand and is ashamed.
"Your hair looks like…rich…" and here I paused trying to find a coherent way to describe it "…black…" and here her looked up, and I refused to meet his gaze because then I knew my cheeks would be as red as my hand…and my hair "…chocolate."
He ahd stopped dabbing the ice and water was trickling down my thigh (the only way I felt it since my hand had gone numb). I could feel the droplets soaking through my robes as drummed my fingers on my leg, which I found was the only way to not run my hand though his hair. If I had use of both hands…I would be doomed.
He chuckled good-naturedly and stared at my eyes. I can't say he stared me in the eyes because I wasn't looking at him. I couldn't.
"Your hair looks like delicious, red licorice," he said, staring at a strand of my hair dangling over his shoulder before biting it and tugging a bit, "that I could just eat up."
Which I found to be the cutest thing he could do, including his voice as he attempted to talk through his teeth. I almost died right there, and my stomach gave a pleasant twist because the tugging of hair (especially the long strands coming from the base of my head) is my drug. I discovered this over the years when every guy sitting behind me felt the need to pull my hair.
They must have been "ooh! Bright!" but hey, in the next moment…I was like "ooh! Chocolate!" and I took a section of his hair between my thumb and pointer and pulled his head down until our heads rested on each other and exhaled in one long, painful breath: "You are such an odd boy."
He just laughed again, and said "you know you love me," in a quiet "mustn't-kill-the-moment" voice.
I let go of his hair and grinned like an idiot. He turned his head to look at me with his hazel eyes…chocolaty hazel eyes…
…and he chuckled again, before running his hand through his impossibly black hair. James realized that his hand was wet and I realized that the ice had melted so I got up to dispose of the paper towel and he got up and that was the end of that.
A/N: Well that took an eternity to write up, but I think the moment at the end was worth it…wasn't it?
Review…I love you…!