(If you guys haven't figured it out yet, I'm taking jokes I've heard or read and actually remember and applying them to Sam and Jack. I just wanted you to know that not all the credit is mine)
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending the SGC Christmas Party at O'Malley's. Jack had drunk a lot. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! And he thought she was mad about the Wal-Mart letter. Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you more than you'll ever know! Love, Sam"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. Cassie is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Cassie... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk as a skunk. You fell over the glass coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, the kitchen and your room, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. It was pretty funny actually.
Jack was very confused, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
"Oh THAT! Sam dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off cause you had thrown up all over them, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Broken Coffee Table: $150. Hot Breakfast: $14. Two Aspirins: $1. Saying the perfect thing, at the right time. . . priceless!