Jack was bored in a meeting and decided to create a Sam dictionary.
What Sam says and what she means.
Sam says: We need
Sam means: I want
Sam says: It's your decision
Sam means: The correct decision should be obvious
Sam says: Do what you want
Sam means: You'll pay for this later no matter what you choose
Sam says: We need to talk
Sam means: I need to complain
Sam says: Sure... go ahead
Sam means: You do and you're dead.
Sam says: I'm not upset
Sam means: Of course I'm upset you moron
Sam says: You're ... so manly
Sam means: You need a shave and a shower
Sam says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
Sam means: I have flabby thighs.
Sam says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
Sam means: I want to redecorate the whole kitchen and for you to come shopping with me.
Sam says: I want new curtains.
Sam means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!
Sam says: I need wedding shoes.
Sam means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.
Sam says: Hang the picture there
Sam means: No, I mean hang it there!
Sam says: I heard a noise
Sam means: I noticed you were almost asleep.
Sam says: Do you love me?
Sam means: I'm going to ask you for something expensive.
Sam says: How much do you love me?
Sam means: I did something today you're not going to like.
Sam says: I'll be ready in a minute.
Sam means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.
Sam says: Am I fat?
Sam means: Tell me I'm beautiful.
Sam says: You have to learn to communicate.
Sam means: Just agree with me.
Sam says: Are you listening to me?
Sam means: [Too late, your doomed.]
Sam says: Yes
Sam means: No
Sam says: No
Sam means: No
Sam says: Maybe
Sam means: No
Sam says: I'm sorry
Sam means: You'll be sorry
Sam says: Do you like this recipe?
Sam means: You better get used to it
Sam says: All we're going to buy is a soap dish
Sam means: Your credit card will be maxed out.
Sam says: I'm not yelling!
Sam means: Yes I am! I think this is important!
Sam says: I don't want to talk about it.
Sam means: I'm still building up steam.
The bad thing was that Jack left it in his coat pocket. He realized this after sam had picked it up from the dry cleaners. Now he was sitting outside his house in his car wondering if he should dare go in.