Chapter 5

I ran blindly down the stairwell hoping I didn't run into anyone else wandering the halls. I could hardly see as I wiped tears away. I stumbled and sat on the steps, wondering what my next move would be. My vampire was mine no more. Had I really been such a brat that he wouldn't even discuss this with me? What had Pam said that made him completely turn against me? I felt an overwhelming crush in my chest. Was this what Eric was feeling too? I couldn't leave things this way, yet I was too embarrassed to go back to his room. I didn't need to beg him to treat me like one of his sired underlings, but I had never been one to accept no for an answer. I had to fight for what I wanted. I had to fight for my love.

I let myself cry harder than I've ever cried. I put my forehead on my knees and wailed, not caring that I could hear myself in the echoing hallway. I didn't know if I felt this so strongly because I was feeling my emotions as well as Eric's, or if heartbreak was just this damned bad.

I sat that way until I was shaking with cold, my bare feet nearly numb. I knew that my face was puffy. My vision was blurred from crying so hard. Yes, I could admit that I loved him, I loved him still, but if he only wanted me to keep me from his competitors, then I could get over him. I went over our relationship in my mind. There always seemed to be an ulterior motive, some side benefit that he gained from, and I fell into his arms in a moment of vulnerability. We were both vulnerable. Maybe that was the Eric that I was truly in love with. The one who sat with me by the fire in my living room, talking for hours about what I'd wanted to be when I grew up, my earliest memories of my mom and dad. Being held in my little bed by Jason when we got the call that my parents had died.

I cried even more at the thought that I had shared so much with him, and that he wasn't quite the same Eric. Sure, he remembered our time together, but it hadn't seemed to make a difference in how he felt about me.

I heard footsteps approaching and I wiped my nose on the sleeve of my sweater. I stared down at my bare feet and wondered at what kind of sight I was sitting in a vampire nursing home, barefoot and crying my head off.

"Sookie?" I knew it was Bill Compton before I'd even heard his voice. He was the last of God's creatures that I wanted to see at that moment. I put my hands up to my eyes and tried to shield my feelings.

"I thought you'd gone already, half-way to Bon Temps by now."

"No, I had some business dealings with a vampire from Alameda that came by to give blood. Reginald? Dark haired fellow with the lisp."

I remembered that his eyes were tiny and looked like black marbles tucked into biscuit dough.

"What's got you in the stairwell crying? I thought you and Eric were having "alone time."

I really did not want to have this conversation with Bill. Was he really going to rub it in my face that I was a stupid girl, naive enough to think that someone as old, wealthy and sophisticated as Eric would genuinely have an interest in me? Pam had called it. I was envisioning a minister in my little backwater city hall announcing to all the world that I was Eric's and he was mine. I needed that validation, otherwise I was just another fangbangin' waitress who had gotten in over her head. He realized that I was mulling over the implication of what he'd said. He tried to make nice by taking one of my hands away from my eyes.

"Sookie, Eric is a creature of habit. He is a collector of things and experiences. When you are as old as he, what else is there to do?"

"Is that what the Queen told you when she asked you to do the same with me?"

I didn't care about his feelings just now. He had no room to talk on this front.

"I'm only trying to make you understand. He is an artist at seduction. You aren't the first woman he has led down the primrose path. He does this, and he is famous for his, shall we say, skills with a woman. Why do you think that witch Hallow risked so much to bed him. Women want to collect him too."

"Bill Compton, the things you know about women wouldn't fill a thimble, so before you get all high and mighty about what Eric is or is not up to, think about your own motives for wanting to spend time with me."

"Yes, at first, I was doing my job. But I came to understand you. That's what you will never have with him. He doesn't care what you think or what you want. He only wants a pretty thing to show off and that you are a telepath is so much the better. Let me take you back to Bon Temps. You have friends and family waiting for you, who won't judge you for your fascination with Eric. Remember, he tricked you into this arrangement. You don't have to stay."

"But I want to stay! You don't get it. I love him, Bill. In my quietest moments, when all I can hear is the sound of my blood, his blood in my ears, I know that I love him. You don't know anything about him. You don't know the first thing about us."

"I know that he has confused you by giving you his blood. I know that he has bargained with others for your services. I know that he has sent you away now that he has no use for you. Is that about right? Is that why you're out here in the hallway sobbing, wondering how the Hell you're going to put the pieces of your tiny life back together now that the Viking Vampire Sheriff is done playing with you."

I'm not ashamed to say that I hit him as hard as I could. Not that it made a bit of difference but it felt really good.

"If this is your idea of what it means to be my friend, then I don't need you. I don't need you taking pot shots at me while I'm down. But then, that's all I can expect from you. You're so caught up with jealousy for everything that Eric has, not just me. This is older than me, isn't it? You've seen him so beautiful, so desired, so well liked, respected and rich while you scraped around the world with Lorena. Don't you dare make this about me. And for your information, he has given me more than you ever did. And I don't mean financially, although I haven't done too badly in his company. If you thought that you'd come find me and sweep me off to Bon Temps draped over your arms like some Civil War bride, you're sadly mistaken." I stood to leave. "Eric and I will be together. You'll see. And just so we're clear, I don't ever want to lay eyes on you again."

I put my back to him and began to climb the stairs.

"So, you're going back for more?" He grabbed my arm and tried to turn me towards him. "Well, we'll see how you feel after you've spent your prettiest years locked up in that glorified jail cell he calls his precious Ravenwood."

I looked back at him over my shoulder. He'd echoed my very own concerns about what it meant to be Eric's wife. What would my role be in his world? I stared at him for a solid moment and I could see that he was wishing that he hadn't pushed me quite so far. What a different man than the one who'd walked into Merlotte's that summer evening what felt like a century ago.

"That glorified jail cell to which you refer, Mr. Compton is mine. It was a wedding present to me from my husband." I didn't wait to see his expression. I was resolute. I marched back to the elevator and punched the up button.

I turned to go down the hall to Eric's room and hesitated outside the door. Surely he would sense my presence, but I would not be sent away, not like this. I didn't bother knocking.

"No," I said flatly. " I don't accept this. I don't want this. You don't want this."

I have never been more determined in my life, if only just to prove a point to Bill. I locked the door behind me and took a step towards Eric. I felt his surge of relief that I had returned. Pam was in Eric's arms and he was about to feed from her. I hadn't realized that I had gasped out loud. I stood, stock still while he sank his fangs into her. She had opened her collar to him and exposed her pale neck. I felt jealousy seize my throat but I wouldn't let that stop me. Pam was momentarily incapacitated by Eric. I met his gaze and he seemed to suck more deeply as if to taunt me. Pam moaned, either from pleasure or pain, but he was my vampire and this was not okay.

"Eric," I pulled my sweater over my head, exposing a white satin bra that was offset by my ever-present tan. He stopped drinking for a moment; I had gotten his attention. He sank his teeth into her again, and this time, I saw her eyes roll up to the ceiling. I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, letting the white satin undies peek through the opening. Eric liked it better when he had to work at it a bit. Pam's fangs extended and I could see that I'd gotten her attention as well. But I focused on Eric.

"I'm yours, all you have to do is ask." I turned my back to him and undid my bra. I slid it off and tossed it onto the bed beside them. He would drain Pam if he wasn't careful. I didn't care. I wiggled my hips like I'd seen the cage dancers at Fangtasia. I pulled my ponytails out and let my hair fall around my shoulders. He was watching intently now. He let Pam go slightly and stopped drinking. She lowered her head to take in the view. I danced to music in my head, knowing this was my only chance to make things right between us. I slithered and snaked to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of the synthetic blood. Not bothering to heat it, I opened the bottle, put it to my lips and let some spill all over my lips and breasts. I smeared blood over the carotid artery in my neck, the fat one that vampires love so much. I knew they could see my heart beating in that artery. If I wasn't careful, I'd be attacked by Pam, which wasn't what I was after. I knew he needed blood, but in a moment of arrogance, I gambled that he'd want fresh blood from the woman he loved, not his employee.

I dipped my finger in the bottle and brought my finger to my lips. I painted it on like lipstick, circling my mouth, then sucking my own finger greedily. I dipped my finger again and made a blood trail between my breasts, and down to my navel. I couldn't tell which of the two was more aroused but I kept at it.

"I love you, and you want me…I want you just as much. Just ask, Eric. Ask me to come to you." He wasn't used to asking for anything; this Viking was used to taking what he wanted, but in his weakened state, he couldn't even stand on his own. I saw him lick his lips. Pam actually arched her back like a cat needing to be petted. She was angry that my seduction of Eric was working. She was angry that it was working on her too. I had to get him to make her leave.

"Eric, my lover, my husband. Ask her to go. Ask her to go and I'll come to you. I need you, now. You know my blood is sweet and warm, just like you like it. " I slid my jeans down around my hips and stepped out of them. He bit his lower lip and I saw a streak of blood in the corner of his mouth. When I'd said husband, his eyebrows shot up. This turned him on as much as my dance. I pulled the waistband of my panties away from my hips a little, exposing the soft curls below. I challenged Pam directly.

"Please leave us, Pam. Let me have my husband to myself." He was getting a thrill from it. I felt a wave of exhilaration and my courage came back in spades. "Now, Pam. He needs me. Don't you, baby?" She tore her gaze away from me and looked at him. She couldn't deny the expression she saw on his face as she gathered her blouse around her neck and got up to leave. I stepped aside to give her room to pass me but before I could stop her, she licked my neck, and bit me softly.

"If you hurt him, I will end you…and it will be a pleasure. You are very sweet."

I took a chance and kissed her quickly on the cheek.

"I would expect you to." I smiled at her as sweetly as I could, but I needed her to leave. I was going crazy with lust for him and I could sense his arousal.

She turned to Eric and asked, "Would you like me to leave the box with you, Sheriff?"

"Yes," he nodded not taking his eyes off me. I moved my hips back and forth as fluidly as I could. His eyes followed my every movement. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I almost had him back. I took another drink and let my tongue linger on the lip of the bottle. I made the tiny whimpering sound that I make that almost always makes him come when we make love. The corners of his lips rose slightly and I knew he recognized the sound.

"Lock the door on your way out, Pam." She did not like being dismissed, but she had no choice. She would have to find another outlet for her sexual frustration this night. I sensed that she was trying to communicate a silent message to him, but he never looked at her. She turned quickly, took a burgundy box that looked like chocolates from her bag, and laid it on the table next to him.

As soon as the lock snicked shut, I turned to him.

" I love you, Eric Northman. You know what I want to hear. Just ask me to come to you and I will be yours forever. I promise." I lifted my hair from my shoulders, exposing my neck and giving him an excellent view of my full breasts.

He raised his hand, "Come to me, lover." I took my time. We had come so close to losing each other, I wanted to be sure this was really happening. I reached out and took his hand. He pulled me gently to him, and I climbed onto him, straddling his waist. He was too weak to be fully aroused, but I could tell that he was very close. He pulled me in close and nuzzled my neck.

"Eric, you know what I want to hear." He ran his tongue from my collarbone to my left ear and whispered softly. "I love you, Sookie." I felt his tongue trace the lobe of my ear and back down to my neck. I rocked my hips gently, mimicking one of our favorite positions. He responded by dragging his fangs across my left breast.

"Take my blood, Eric." I tilted my head so that he would be comfortable.

"Soon." He held me gently and kissed my neck so tenderly. I loved the feeling of his tongue on my skin, his fangs barely scraping as he took his time with me. He began licking a spot that pulsed under his tongue. I felt my heartbeat increase, and he became more erect beneath me. I moaned and pulled his ring finger into my mouth, sucking it gently. He understood the significance of what I was doing, and he took my ring finger into his mouth. We stared at one another for a long minute and he smiled at me, rolled me over and swatted my bottom. I giggled as he laid me next to him.

"You bad, bad girl."

"You love that about me."

"I do love that about you. I love everything about you." He kissed my fingers and my palm. He licked my wrist and I felt the punctures from my dull teeth begin to heal a little.

"You need to feed, Eric take it from me."

"I want you. I want all of you but you need to know that you are everything to me. I don't take that lightly. If you want out, I will understand. Being with me is not going to be an easy life for you. I don't want you to hate me in 20 years that you were never able to have my child. That I can't ever take you on picnics and to the beach and all those other things that I want for you. I don't want you to catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and see how time has changed you, but not me. My beloved, I can't do that to you if I know that there is the slightest chance that you will hate me for it."

"We will work some things out. Yes, my life will be different, we can picnic at night under the stars, I've never been to the beach so I don't care. It will be different, but it will never be dull and that would be worse for me. Eric, I nearly lost you, and that was scarier to me than anything that you are talking about. I don't even know if I want children. But I do know this; I've never loved anyone the way that I love you. I've never wanted another man so completely as the way that I want you." I lifted my mouth to his and kissed him warmly. He caressed my cheek as he deepened our kiss.

"My wife." I felt his pride and contentment and I let him feel my joy. It was the second time he'd called me that and I felt heat spread through my hips and lower. He sat up slowly and reached for the box that Pam had left him. I sat up, curious as to what he had been fussing with, and saw him lift the lid. Tucked inside seemed to be some odds and ends like you'd see in a hope chest. Eric took my left hand and held it.

"If you would care to be Mrs. Northman in the eyes of the great state of Louisiana, as well as the rest of the world, I would be honored if you would wear this ring." I smiled up at him and nodded to him that I would. My vampire had asked me to marry him.

"Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" We kissed, tenderly at first, then much more fevered. He was gaining some of his strength back and I wanted him desperately.

"Make love to me, Sookie." He lay on his back and I slipped my panties off. It took a few minutes to maneuver his thin pajama pants off, but we managed. He used the remote to lower the head of our bed so that we would be more comfortable. I slid up his cool body, to his mouth, coaxing his tongue with mine. I dug my fingers into his hair, pulling him up towards me. He kissed my breasts, one after the other. I felt his pressure growing against my thigh. I took his manhood into my hand and stroked him lovingly.

How I loved this man.

I placed him against my heat and slid him inside me. We clutched each other tightly as I rode him slowly at first. He ran his hands up my spine, kissing every inch of my exposed skin. He moaned so deeply that I felt it vibrate through me. He lifted his hips to get himself deeper into me and I inched down further onto him. This was make-up sex at its best. I saw his ring glinting on my finger. We were really going to make this work.

"Lover, I need to taste you, may I?"

"You never need to ask again, I'm yours, Eric. Every bit of me." I sped up so that I would reach my moment when he bit into me. This was so good, so perfect.

"Baby, take as much as you need." He stared up at me with his blue, blue eyes.

" I can make this so good for you that you will beg me to bite you every night."

"What do you mean?" It was already an amazing feeling.

"The stronger our love, and the more frequently we exchange blood, the less it hurts for you. I am becoming a part of you and you a part of me."

"Then bite me, love." I saw his fangs flash, and I touched them briefly. I loved running my tongue over his fangs. They were so long and sharp, but he was so skillful at making sure that he never accidentally hurt me with them. He drew himself up and licked my neck. I moaned out loud.

"Yes, baby, right there." I closed my eyes, waiting for his fangs to sink into the crook of my neck.

"I love this," he whispered. "I love that you are mine and that I can have you every night if I like."

"Oh, Eric." I felt myself getting dangerously close to the edge. He held onto me more tenderly than he'd held Pam and I barely felt his fangs sink into my skin. I rode him faster and faster while he drank from me.

"Take me, Sookie."

I moved urgently, and wrapped myself around him. He pressed his mouth to my neck again. He exploded inside me as I clamped down and bit his neck. I hadn't meant to bite him, but he felt so good. We rocked that way until we couldn't sit up any longer. I collapsed onto him, and pulled the sheet up over me.

"No. Don't cover yourself, you're beautiful."

"I'm also cold, baby." He wrapped me in the sheet and the thin hospital blanket.

If there were patients on either side of our room, they surely got an earful. Eric and I have never made love quietly.

We lay together, exhausted, but in love.

"So, Mr. Northman, if you're so sure you want to marry me officially, how about tonight?" I wound a lock of his hair around my finger. I let him see the interlocking gold rings that he'd placed on my finger.

"Not until I can stand beside you without being held up. There is time for that, no one who would harm us knows where we are. We're safe."

"Eric, do you have any idea who attacked you?" I saw him grit his teeth as he remembered lying helpless by the road.

"I don't want to talk about that." I sensed his anger welling up.

"But we need to punish-" I could tell by his expression that I wouldn't get anywhere with this. I didn't want to spoil the good feelings that we had worked so hard to achieve.

"When you're ready, I'm here." I stroked his head and kissed him lightly. "It will be daylight soon, I suppose. Would you mind if I went out for a bit? I don't want to leave you, but I need a few things." Mostly, I wanted to find a ring for him.

"Ordinarily, I wouldn't mind you going out, but I don't like the idea of you traveling alone. I will make some calls." He reached across me to get his cell phone from my nightstand. I kissed his chest as he reached. He made a few calls to his employees, one to Bobby Burnham, who I personally despised, and a few others who were Russian I think. I lay in his arms while he finished his calls. Then he was quiet. I often wondered what a vampire thought about during "down-time" as I called it. I ran my hand lightly over his chest.

"Are you really mine, Sookie? Really and truly?"

"Yes, Eric. Really and truly for all time." I wasn't sure where he was going with this, I'd never seen him so unsure.

"Then I'd like to ask that you not continue to see Quinn." He spoke quietly, but I could tell by his tone that he was very serious.

I sat up and looked at him so he could see how serious I was too. "I had no intention of ever seeing Quinn again. If you're sure that this marriage is what you want and you're not just doing this to protect me from de Castro, then I swear to you on my life that I won't see him, or any other man again. This isn't a business arrangement for me, I happen to love you, Eric."

"It has been a very long time since…." His voice trailed off and my heart broke for any time that he spent lonely.

"Not anymore. I'm here now."

"Do you trust me, Sookie?"

"Yes, Eric, I trust you with my life."

He reached for the burgundy box again and pulled out a slender glass vial with a gold stopper. It was mounted to a gold chain, but was too large to be worn around the neck. It was filled with what appeared to be really old blood that was nearly black. I frowned because I suspected where he was going with this.

"Would you take one drink of this for me if I asked you to?"

"May I ask what I'm drinking or is that not okay?"

"I can't tell you anything at all right now. But I swear that I will. If you trust me."

I thought about how he hadn't told me why he abandoned me to Neave and Lochlan, but I pushed that aside. He would tell me, he promised. The look on his face seemed to say that it was urgent that I trust him at this moment. I nodded and he smiled and sighed.

I took the vial in my hand and he lifted the stopper off. He held it to my lips, and I took a sip. I was expecting a foul taste, but could only detect the faintest hint of the coppery taste of blood. As soon as I swallowed, he kissed me.

"Do you love me?"

"With all of my heart. Eric, what is this about?"

"You have saved me." He put the vial to his lips and drained it.

I shrugged and smiled up at him. "I'm just me." I let my hand trail down his chest and over his stomach.

"Are you ready again?" He tickled me playfully and kissed me. I could hardly be grateful that I had nearly lost my vampire before we'd become courageous enough to admit our feelings, but I was happy at the possibility of spending hours and hours making love with him, being held and talking.

"I just love you, Eric."

"I love you too, Sookie."