A/N: I really hope people are enjoying this!

***

"Good morning Meredith," Dr. Gold said over the phone at the start of their weekly session. "How are you?"

"I'm…confused," Meredith confided in her therapist. For the first three sessions that she's had with Dr. Gold, she said nothing. Just sat in the office. Finally she'd talked and they discussed her mother's death, which resulted in Meredith demanding her chart and storming out of the office. They discussed everything aspect of Meredith's life. Some would call her "whole and healed" but she didn't consider her self so. Now, they mostly talked about the current events in Meredith's life and how she was thirty-six and still never had a real boyfriend. Dr. Gold brought up Derek…a lot.

"About?"

"Derek."

"What about Derek?"

"I love him. Obviously…he's my best friend in the entire world. If anything changed that…I don't know what I would do."

"I know all of this Meredith. What are you confused about?" she asked.

"I…I don't know. I just feel the constant need to kiss him every time I see him give me his signature smile," Meredith sighed, flopping down on the neatly made bed in the back of the trailer. "But… he's with Rose."

"He's with Rose," Dr. Gold repeated flatly.

"I know."

"He's with Rose."

"You know what, I'm not going to do this," Meredith groaned frustrated, ready to hang up the phone.

"He's with Rose."

"Why do you keep saying that?!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air.

"Because if you can't see what is wrong with that sentence, He's with Rose, we're never going to get anywhere, He's with Rose," she stressed trying to get Meredith to realize her point.

"Okay!" Meredith conceded. "So he's with Rose. So what? He's my best friend. She makes him…happy. I want him to be happy."

"I know you want him to be happy. But, you want him to be happy with you. If he's with Rose that means he's not with you. And do you know why he's not with you? You're scared. You're scared to tell him the obvious truth," Dr. Gold said.

"Are you calling me a coward?" she asked, slightly shocked.

"I think you are very frightened Meredith."

"Are you calling me a coward?" Meredith repeated stressing her question.

"What do you think?" Dr. Gold asked.

"I think you're calling me a coward and I am NOT a coward."

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. It's al based on what your mind is thinking on the topic," Meredith could almost see her shrink shrugging through the phone.

"I'm not a coward," she huffed.

"Prove it."

"What?"

"I said prove it. If you're not a coward, tell Derek you're in love with him."

"What?" Meredith exclaimed. "I can't! Derek is my best friend. If he doesn't…he doesn't love me that way…he can't."

"Do you know this as a fact?"

"Well no…but yes."

"How is it no and yes?"

"I don't know it as a fact but I just know he can't," she sighed.

"Why?"

"I'm Meredith…I'm his best friend. He can't."

"Why not? Why couldn't he love you Meredith?" Dr. Gold asked.

"Because I'm ordinary…nothing special."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because it's true."

"Say's who?" she prodded.

"My mother."

"And you've listened to her before about what?"

Meredith sighed. "Nothing," she groaned, throwing an arm over her eyes and falling backwards onto the pillow.

"So why now? I think you're blaming this on the faults you see in yourself…because you're scared."

"I'm not a coward!" she exclaimed angrily.

"I didn't say you were a coward. I just said you were afraid. You brought it to that level."

"I…no."

"You did Meredith. You just need to remember what I've told you countless times in the past, you need to lean into the fear to get a happy ending."

Upon hearing a car pull up to the trailer Meredith jumped. "I got to go, Derek's back. Talk to you next week," she said quickly, hanging up the phone and ignoring Dr. Gold's feeble protests.

"Mer?" he called.

"In here Der," she replied, sitting up.

"Hey," Derek smiled.

"Hey."

"I hope you don't mind…"

"Hi Meredith," Rose smiled brightly, walking up to her boyfriend and securing her arms around him.

Derek's face fell. "Rose wanted to spend some time with us."

"That's fine," Meredith lied. Truth be told, she really disliked Rose. She seemed like a nice enough person but she was clingy and needy. "I actually was about to go take a walk…you two have fun here."

"Mer, you want me to come?"

"I…no. Just a headache. Need to walk it off."

"You sure?" he asked sweetly, breaking away from Rose and walking towards her. They're eyes met, clashing of midnight blue and blue-green. Derek could tell she was lying but he couldn't decipher why. "Are you feeling feverish?" he asked, holding the back of his strong masculine hand to her forehead.

"Really…I'm fine," she smiled. Derek could see right through the smile and knew that if she said she was fine that she wasn't. "I just need air."

"See you later," Rose smiled, waiting for Meredith to leave.

Grabbing her jacket she exited the trailer. She quickly bundled her self up from the cold Seattle air. In New York she never would have just taken a walk but she couldn't stand to be in a confined area with Derek and Rose. "He's with Rose…He's with Rose…" she repeated to herself quietly, reminded of her conversation with Dr. Gold. Meredith continued up the muddy path that Derek had shown her a few days before, brown mud coating her converse. Once she reached the top of the hill she walked forwards, towards the edge of the cliff. Staring out into the night sky she felt alive. The wind whistled through her golden tresses, sending them flying about. Lowering her self to the grassy floor, Meredith sat, absorbing the crisp winter air and breathing slowly.

She thought about what Dr. Gold had said, "lean into the fear to get a happy ending". It sounded so much simpler than it really was. Derek was her best friend. If she told him and he didn't love her back, then their friendship would never be the same. He'd know and it would just be awful. "Mer!" a masculine voice called out.

Turning around she saw Derek hurtling towards her. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Mer, you've been out here for at least two hours," he told her worriedly.

"What?" Meredith gasped. "No…I've only been out here for a few minutes!"

"Mer, it's 10:30."

"It can't…" she looked down at her watch. It was 10:30.

"Rose went home…I know she's the reason you came out here," Derek confessed.

"No…she…it…"

"You're lying," he laughed.

"I am not!" she huffed.

"Come on it's freezing out here," Derek ushered.

Meredith pushed herself off the ground and walked towards Derek. They walked together down to the trailer and entered the small metal home. "The hospital flooded today," Derek told her as they sat on the small couch of the trailer, pulling a blanked over both.

"Flooded?" she asked, shocked.

"Yup…pipes broke. Webber went crazy. I think he's slipping."

"Hm," she sighed, putting her head on Derek's shoulder, leaning into his side.

***

A/N: Spoiler for next chapter- Dr. Mathew Levine.