A/N:

PT: Hey y'all *waves*

MC: Thanks to the people that reviewed the last chapter... you guys rock our world.

PT: Yep, thats right... thanks you. There's a song to listen to with this chapter, please listen as you read.

MC: See ya at the bottom...

DISCLAIMER: We don't own any of the recognisable characters, they belong to Stephenie, we do own the plot bunnies though.

PLAYLIST: Mothers Pride - George Michael.

JPOV

When you're a kid and you're asked what you wanna be when you grow up, very few people actually follow through with that dream. I am, however, one of those kids. Whenever I was asked what I wanted to be when I was older I'd always end up with the same answer. It didn't change over the years, I was sure. "I wanna be a soldier!" I'd yell, pulling my hand up into a salute for anyone that gave me the time of day to actually listen to what I was saying when asked.

I wanted to be like my father, God bless his soul. My Pops died a hero, fighting for his Country. He'd been deployed to Afghanistan soon after the 9/11 attacks and he never made it back. He died trying to save children caught up in crossfire. Ma told me that he turned his back to the enemy to usher the children into safety and they took their opportunity. He never stood a chance.

The spine chilling scream and sob that left my mothers' lips when the Sergeant arrived dressed in uniform at our door will haunt me for the rest of my life. Watching my mother crumple to the floor screaming was the most traumatic experience in the world. At 11 years of age you don't expect to see shit like that. It made me grow up very quickly. She told me I was now the man of the house and that we'd cope and make Pops proud.

Dressed in my best clothes we stood at the side of the freshly dug grave, waiting for them to arrive. Watching them carry his coffin, covered in the stars and stripes, broke my heart. They folded the flag and handed it to Ma, before lowering him into the ground. My vision blurred as the tears rolled in heavy rivers down my cheeks. I realised I'd never get to say I love you again, so I said it over and over as they lowered him down. The lone bugler played the tune that will stay with me until my dying day as people took their handful of earth and scattered it on the lacquered wood below.

There was only one thing that I had to remind me of my father, the dented nickel dog tags that had been retrieved on the discovery of his corpse. They hung around my neck, my most treasured possession, the constant reminder that my father was indeed the most wonderful, brave man in the world. I would forever be proud of him. I'd always look up to him. He was on a pedestal that could never fall.

They stayed there, hanging loosely against my skin, until the day I got my own. I gave his back to Ma and replaced them with the cold metal ball chain and two pieces of freshly engraved nickel; clearly and proudly displaying my own name.

It was time to make my father as proud of me, as I was him. Nine weeks of basic training followed by my Advanced Individualized Training. It was hard work but it mentally prepared me for what was to come. Without wanting to sound like a girl, I was more traumatized by having to shave off my hair than I was having the drill sergeant up in my face, covering me in his saliva as he yelled instructions at me. As the blond curls fell to the floor, I knew it was my time. I'd be the best soldier I could. I was not only fighting for my country; I was fighting for my father and all the other fallen soldiers war had cruelly taken.

*****

Ma had insisted that we drive to the barracks together, apparently she hadn't done it with Pops and she said she'd always regret never getting to say goodbye properly. I blamed myself for that, if I hadn't of been around she'd of been there, saying goodbye and getting her proper send off. She always clipped me behind the ear when I apologized about it. She said she'd have had nothing to live for had she not of had me; that kinda just made it all the worse that I was walking off into the sunset, doing exactly the same as what he'd done to her. It was an internal battle that I fought every day, and in a way it was the hardest decision I'd ever had to make, honor my father or protect my mother.

We arrived; I gave my name and dropped my bags off. Ma stood quietly outside, waiting for me to come back. I watched as the girlfriends and wives of the other soldiers kissed and cried their goodbyes to their loved ones. In that moment I was glad that I didn't have a girlfriend; I doubt I'd of been able to have said goodbye, in fear of not returning. Knowing what Ma had to go through, I'm not sure I could do that to someone I loved.

As that thought went through my mind it dawned on me I was actually doing that, I was willing to put my mother through the exact same thing she'd coped with just ten years ago.

"Stop questioning your decision JC, Pops would be proud of you, just like I am. You're coming home; don't ever doubt that you're not."

"Thanks Ma, I just feel bad for leaving you on your own."

"Jasper Charles, I'm big enough and old enough to take care of myself. Y'all better man up before they have your balls for breakfast." She laughed.

"Ma, I don't want you talking about my balls thanks." I laughed; glad that she was breaking the tension in the air that was so thick you could have cut it with a knife.

She pulled me close and I felt my shirt grow damp, I held her tighter than I had in a very long time and let her squeeze me when she was ready to let go.

"I love you Jasper, go make him proud."

I smiled, kissed her cheek and squeezed her hand in mind. "I love you too Ma, I'll be home before you know it."

She nodded and turned back towards the car. I waited as she got in, started the engine and drove away into the distance, only then did I look down into my hand where she's pressed a small brown paper wrapped packet. I ripped the paper through tear filled eyes and saw a small silver colored oval shaped locket next to Pops' dog tag. Carefully prising open the two halves I saw a picture of each of my parents. The wet drops rolled down my face as I closed my hand around it, the chain dangling free through my fingers.

Shutting my eyes, I did something I hadn't done in years.

I prayed that my mother be kept safe from harm whilst I was away.

*****

PT: Thanks for reading...

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PT: *giggles* See ya soon... *points to MC* she's got an awesome chapter for you on Wednesday....

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