Disclaimer: I do not own these characters- they belong to Eric Kripke and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Summary: Dean tries to break the news to his father that Sammy isn't interested in carrying on the family business. John handles it like an ex-Marine would, and Dean storms off to the shores to cool down after the heated debate. There, he is entranced by a water succubus. Will his father realize what happened before it's too late?

Tag to "After School Special." Dean is 17 and Sam is 13.

Sam knocked timidly on the bathroom door, but Dean was so caught up in his misery that his little brother was halfway across the room before it registered that he wasn't alone anymore.

"Dean? Dad says time's up. You've gotta get back in bed before you… Dean?"

Sam had just realized that instead of Dean's usual humming of classic rock songs, muffled sobs were emanating from behind the tattered and stained shower curtain.

When Sam reluctantly slid the cloth to the side, his brother's state was enough to crush his heart to a pulp.

Dean quickly turned his face towards the wall, hoping to hide his tears from Sam, though the effort was pointless. Between the terrifying memories and the freezing water streaming over his huddled body, he couldn't stop shaking and his ragged breathing was making his already damaged lungs throb.

"Dean? Hey…"

Sam reached out a tentative hand towards his brother but the second the icy water touched his skin, he pulled back with a surprised gasp. Snapping into protective mode, he quickly turned the water off and grabbed a towel from the rack, wrapping it tightly around Dean's shivering shoulders.

Trying to offer comfort, Sam rested his hand over the back of Dean's neck, but the elder Winchester winced underneath his touch, increasing Sam's worry tenfold. The angry red patches of skin scattered over Dean's arms didn't help either.

"What's wrong, man? Did you hurt yourself?"

Dean rolled his head against his knees in a negative gesture as he concentrated on trying to get his breathing back under control.

Sam could feel his brother shaking beneath his touch and used his other hand to rub gently at Dean's towel-clad bicep.

"Jesus, Dean… you're freezing! Can you stand up?"

"D-don't… w-wanna," Dean forced through chattering teeth.

"Well if you stay in there, you're gonna get sick."

"D-don't c-care."

And that earned the patented Sammy bitch face. "Come on, bro. Talk to me. Are you in pain? Do you need some meds?"

"N-no. Jus' w-wanna be alone."

"Can't do that, bro. Sorry."

Dean's frustration was building again and it was taking everything he had not to direct it at his innocent little brother. "Go, S-Sammy. I'll b-be out in a m-minute."

"Let me help you."

"Just leave, Sam!" Dean spat, picking up his head and shooting daggers at his brother.

Sam glared right back, defiantly. "Fine, you don't want to talk to me, I'll go get Dad."

Dean paled instantly as his anger turned to fear. When Sam started to rise to his feet, Dean threw out an arm and latched onto his brother's wrist. "No! Sammy, d-don't. Please!"

"Why not?" Sam quirked an eyebrow at his brother's reaction.

"He c-can't know, okay? P-please don't t-tell him, Sammy. P-please…"

Fresh tears were sliding down Dean's cheeks now, giving Sam an overwhelming feeling of protectiveness. He sat down on the side of the tub. "Okay. I won't say anythin', but you've gotta tell me what's goin' on, alright? Are you afraid of Dad cause of what he did? Want me to keep him away from you till you're ready?"

"N-no, it's not that…"

"What then? Sarina?"

Dean's eyes glazed over and he turned his face back to the wall, releasing his brother's wrist in favor of wrapping his arms back around his legs. Sam sighed.

"That's it, isn't it. You havin' flashbacks or somethin'?"

Again, no response. Seeing his brother so broken destroyed any misgivings Sam had had over killing Sarina. In fact, he wished he had given her a more drawn out and painful death. The bullet to the head was too good for her.

Sam draped a second towel over the hard floor right next to the tub. "Come on, Dean. Let's get you out of there."

"Not c-clean yet," Dean mumbled blankly.

"Not clean…? You've been in here for half an hour, dude. Look at me, man…" Sam gently jostled his brother's shoulder, trying to get him to focus.

When Dean finally turned his head back towards Sam, his eyes were filled with a desperate need for his little brother to understand. "I t-tried, Sammy. St-still in my sk-skin… T-tried to rub it out, but st-still not clean."

He loosened his grip around his knees enough to lean back a little, revealing his attempts at scrubbing his chest and thighs raw. Sam's jaw fell open.

"God, Dean… What did you do?"

Painfully deep scratches marred his body; some deep enough to bleed.

"I'm sorry, man, but I've gotta get Dad on this one. Just sit tight and…" Sam made it to the door before a heavy thud sounded behind him. He whirled to find Dean sprawled on the hard floor, frantically trying to get his stiff limbs to respond, but he just kept slipping on the second towel Sam had placed in front of the tub.

"Dean, stop!"

"Don't g-go, Sammy! You c-can't tell him! P-promise me!" Dean held a hand out towards his brother, wishing he was close enough to grab hold of him again.

Tears were blurring Dean's vision once more and he was ready to abandon all hope- just curl into a ball and stop caring about what the rest of the world thought and did. But then a small hand latched onto his outstretched one, and he was anchored to reality once more.

"I'm right here, Dean, and I'm not leavin' you, okay?" Sam helped his brother sit up against the side of the tub, secured the towel across Dean's back again, then sank down next to him, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

Dean continued to shake violently, but he didn't try to push his brother away.

"Jeez, Dean… How long have you been sittin' under the cold water?"

"D-dunno."

"Crappy motels…" Sam grumbled under his breath.

He gently pulled Dean towards him until his head was resting on Sam's shoulder. "I've got you, man. Just take it easy." He rested his bruised cheek against Dean's wet, spiky hair, ignoring the throbbing pain that flared through the side of his face at the contact.

A loud knock on the door startled them both. Dean sat bolt upright, staring fearfully at the doorknob as though expecting it to turn. "Boys? You alright in there? Sounded like someone fell…"

Sam glanced at Dean's face and saw the unadulterated panic in his eyes. "We're fine, Dad," he quickly answered back. "I just slipped on a towel helpin' Dean out of the shower."

"You need some help with him?"

Dean turned to Sam, revealing the desperation in his eyes for the second time since he had woken up. Please don't let him come in, Sammy, please…

"I've got it, Dad. We'll be out in a bit."

"Alright. Make it quick, though. Dean's gotta eat somethin' soon."

"Okay."

Both boys breathed a sigh of relief when John's footsteps faded away from the door.

"Your secret is safe with me, Dean. Promise."

Dean let his head fall back onto Sam's shoulder, feeling completely exhausted once again. Sam tightened his grip around his brother, wishing there was something more he could do to help him.

They stayed like that for a few minutes until Dean finally stopped shaking. They sat in total silence, apart from Dean's occasional hitches of breath and soft sniffles. This was the first- and hopefully the last- time that he allowed himself to appear vulnerable in front of his little brother.

Though Sam wanted nothing more than to hold onto this major chick flick moment forever, he knew if his father had to come check on them again, John wouldn't settle for Sam's reassurances. He'd want to see Dean with his own two eyes.

"Come on, big brother. We've gotta get you dressed and back in bed before Dad comes knockin' again."

Dean nodded against Sam's shoulder before slowly sitting back up. He forcefully wiped his eyes with a corner of the towel, then dried the rest of his face. Pull yourself together for Christ's sake! You're supposed to be the big brother in this relationship!

Sam sent Dean a furtive glance to make sure he was okay before standing and retrieving his brother's clean clothes from the bathroom counter. When he returned, he stood awkwardly in front of Dean, full-willing to help but unsure how to go about it without making things uncomfortable.

Dean glanced up at his brother, then dropped his gaze to the floor and tightened the towel around his shoulders. "Just put them on the floor, Sammy. I've got it."

"You sure? Cause I can…"

"'m good, man. Thanks."

"No problem." Sam did as he was told, then turned his back to Dean to give his brother a bit more privacy while he got dressed.

Dean rose shakily to his feet, using the walls and tub to steady himself. Once Sam's back was turned, he dropped the towel to the floor. As Dean carefully pulled his clothes over his tattered and raw skin, he also pulled his game face back on. Emotional meltdown officially over.

While Sam waited, he decided to try and get some answers from his brother once more. "So… You wanna tell me happened in here, Dean?"

Dean cleared his throat, trying to erase all evidence of his previous weakness. "Nothin', dude. Just been a long few days is all. 'm just tired."

Sam turned back to face his brother when the rustling of clothes ended.

"Stop it, man. Just stop. I know you better than anyone. You can't always be invincible, Dean. Sometimes you've gotta take a step back from the edge."

Dean took a deep breath to reply, winced as his abused lungs protested, then let it out slowly to ease the pain. Sam didn't miss the grimace that crossed his brother's face.

"You should really talk to Dad, Dean."

"No." Dean's icy glare made Sam want to move back a few steps, but he stood his ground.

"But, Dean! He should know that you're…"

"What, huh? Pathetic? Weak? A poor excuse for bait let alone a hunter? I'm sure he already knows that, Sam."

The youngest Winchester let out a tortured sigh. "You know that's not true, Dean. You're the toughest guy I know, and an amazing hunter too. I was gonna say he should know that you're not ready to deal with everythin' that's happened just yet."

There was a pregnant pause in which both brothers tried to stare the other down. Sam could see his brother building his walls back up, and all Dean could see was the bruise on Sammy's cheek. I should have been there to protect him.

Dean broke the silence first.

"C'mere, kiddo."

Sam closed the small gap between them, giving Dean a questioning look as he did so.

Dean reached over and gently took hold of his brother's chin, angling Sam's face towards the light so he could get a good look at the dark bruise surrounding his cheekbone. Dean winced in sympathy. "Looks like Dad got you good."

Sam rolled his eyes, carefully encircled his brother's wrist, then pulled out of his grip. "He got us both good," he grumbled, sparing a glance to Dean's own fading shiner, "and don't change the subject."

Dean instantly played dumb. "What subject?"

Sam frowned, crossing his arms across his chest. "Why did you pretend you were okay earlier? Why didn't you just tell them the truth instead of hiding it? No one expects you to be fine after what you went through."

Now it was Dean's turn to sigh in frustration. "Dude, you're like a dog with a bone, you know that? I did it cause no one's gonna be able to get past this if they all think I need to be coddled. It'll just make things more awkward than they already are, and that ain't helpin' anybody. I needed time to deal with it myself, and that's exactly what I did. End of story. Movin' on."

"You know, you keep pilin' all this stuff up, and one day, you're gonna explode."

"Yeah, well… There are worse ways to go." The empty look in Dean's eyes made Sam question his brother's intent.

"Dean… You're gonna get past this, right? You're gonna be okay?"

Dean's jaw twitched minutely, then he forced a feeble half-smirk onto his face. "Of course I'm gonna be okay, dude. I think your uber chick flick moment healed me."

"Dean, I'm serious!"

"Look, Sammy… We've been through worse, right? Sometimes it takes a little while to heal, but we always pull through in the end. This time is no different. I may avoid the water for the rest of my life… but I promise I'm gonna be just fine, okay?"

"Swear on the Impala."

"What?!"

"Do it, Dean."

Dean chuckled and shook his head in disbelief at his little brother's audacity. "Fine. I swear on the Impala. Are we good now?"

Sam smiled broadly. "Yeah, Dean. We're good." He closed the small gap between them and wrapped his arms around his brother's chest. Dean returned the hug, patting his little brother comfortingly on the back.

Another knock, much louder than the first, came from the bathroom door. "Boys! You comin' out of there today or what?"

Dean took one last calming breath, then responded. "Yeah, Dad. We're comin'."

TBC

Please review! I'm running out of ideas for this story, so I think we're drawing to a close. Maybe one or two more chapters to wrap things up, unless you guys have something else you want to squeeze in before the end! If you have any requests, feel free to let me know!