Disclaimer: If I were ruler of the world, I would own David Krumholtz (JK!) and would not be broke and hungry. The Santa Clause copyrighted by Disney and Bernard is copyrighted by the Awesome Curly Hair Foundation….a.k.a. David.

A YEAR! O HOLY NIGHT, IT'S BEEN A YEAR! I'm so sorry to those who actually read my stuff and have been waiting for these last few chapters! I could go on about everything that has happened this year that help to delay my posting, but in all actuality…it's my fault and I'll take the blame and shame you guys give me.

This is probably the longest chapter there is…enjoy…hopefully.

***Bernard***

Upon hearing a commotion outside the door, Bernard woke up with a jolt from his light sleep. He looked over at the door, which once more flooded the floor with light. He heard a mass of voices outside the door, but one clearly rang through his ears: Curtis. He weakly tried calling out to the other elf, but to no avail.

'Great, now they've got me and Curtis. Santa's gonna be furious when he finds out! ...If he ever gets married and becomes Santa again, that is.' Bernard laid his head on the wooden floor and waited for the plastic Santa to punish him and the newly captured Curtis.

Just then, the closet door opened with a blinding light as two shadows came forth and kneeled down beside Bernard. When his eyes became adjusted to the bright light, he realized that the shorter shadow to his right was Curtis. He tried to sit up and tell Curtis to get out before Mr. Rubber came back, but Curtis quickly covered his mouth and started removing the bonds of tinsel. When his chest and mouth was free, he looked up to see a pretty blonde-haired woman smiling down at him. He was about to ask her if she was an angel, but Curtis beat him to the punch.

"Bernard, this is Ms. Carol. Ms. Carol, this is Bernard," he simply said, "Ms. Carol is here to help us and Santa save Christmas." Bernard merely smiled and said 'hello' in a raspy voice.

"You know, Santa was so shocked when I told him that you were under house arrest. He couldn't even believe it. Well, I wouldn't either if I hadn't seen it, though," Curtis rambled on. There was a small pressure on the tinsel wrapped around Bernard's numb wrists. "I almost have it…there!" Curtis exclaimed as the pressure was released and the blood started flowing back into Bernard's hands. The feeling was strangely comfortable, seeing how he couldn't feel anything in his hands for the past amount of hours.

Bernard rubbed his raw wrists and smiled, hiding the truth of his condition from Curtis. He knew he felt weak and tired, and hell, even scared, but he didn't need to tell Curtis about it. He could tell him later after they save Santa and Christmas.

"So," he cleared his throat, "Curtis, what's the plan?"

Curtis and Carol helped Bernard up and they walked out into Santa's office. Curtis and Carol sat down on the couch while Bernard sat in a chair opposite them, stretching his unused limbs. His right ankle started to throb, probably twisted it when he was thrown into the closet.

"Alright, this is what we're going to do…We'll get a team of elves to scout while the rest of the elves attacks the soldiers and then we take them to the kitchen. What temperature do you think they melt at?" Curtis rambled on, wildly gesturing and speaking rapidly. Carol nervously laughed as Bernard shook his head.

"No, that won't work. Even if we had a greater number of elves against them, they would just attack us as we bring them to the kitchen…and they could call for back up and surround us," Bernard retaliated, "What we need is a surprise attack. If we could get all of the toy soldiers grouped together, then we could take them all down at once. And I don't think we need to burn them. We could just take them apart; they're hollow and almost completely mindless. If the plastic Santa doesn't give them orders, they don't know what to do." Curtis and Carol thought it over until Curtis jumped up.

"Alright! I've got an idea! We'll lure them together and then wham! We'll take them apart and then go save Christmas!" he yelled in pure excitement. He looked over at Bernard, who was laughing silently. Curtis just stood there, watching Bernard in annoyance.

"Sorry Curtis, now you know why I'm the first head elf. Now, back to what we were talking about. What will be our distraction?" He looked up at Curtis who grinned brightly.

They all watched as Santa flew away on Chet, worrying about their friend. Bernard turned to the other elves.

"Okay, everybody…outside!" he shouted as the other elves turned and ran out to the main hall doors. Bernard limped along with Ms. Carol as Curtis took the lead and commanded the horde of defiant elves. They formed in front of the great wooden doors, occupying the stairs leading up. In front of them stood the entire army of soldiers, standing still and lifeless.

Bernard, standing in the center of the elf crowd, whistled and waved his arm in the air.

"Snowballs on three!"

The other elves bent down and reached into the snow with a harsh cadence. All of the elves jerked back up, hands filled with frozen ammo. Bernard started the countdown.

"1…"

"2…" The elves shook with anticipation. Bernard looked back over at Curtis and Carol, who both smirked back at him.

"3!" White pellets of snow and ice flew through the air, smashing into the chests and heads of the metal soldiers. All black eyes turned to the smaller crowd, ignoring the battle of the Santas above them.

"Okay, elves! Let's get 'em!" Bernard commanded, soon surrounded by torrents of brightly colored elves. The elves were possessed by a vicious pride and love as they attacked the soldiers and took them apart, limbs and gears and metal scrapes. Bernard noticed a group of soldiers were backing away. He quickly gathered the red ribbon outlining the metal railings and limped over to Curtis.

"Curtis," getting the younger elf's attention, "Go get two snowmobiles…and hurry!" He watched Curtis's retreating back disappear into one of the garage entrances when he started feeling lightheaded. It was then, that he realized that the white ground and shimmering buildings were tilting. He quickly shook his head, clearing the dizziness, and heard the sound of two motors coming to meet him.

Curtis tossed Bernard a helmet, knowing that safety was the first rule in the elf handbook, and caught the end of ribbon that Bernard threw to him.

"Here's what we're going to do," Bernard yelled over the hum of the motors, his throat feeling scratchy and sore from lack of use.

"We're going to trip those soldiers over there. You'll be on that side and I'll be on this side. Okay?" Curtis smiled at him and they both pushed forward on the machines, pulling tight on the ribbon as they neared. The two soldiers went down easily and suddenly, a large group of elves ran over and started to tear apart the soldiers. Bernard got off the snowmobile and took off the helmet, feeling a strange and uncomforting dizziness lurk up in his head again. He was only somewhat aware of Curtis hopping out of his snowmobile and running in the other direction. Bernard turned to go sit down somewhere when he heard a cry. There was a younger group of elves that were struggling to take down two soldiers in front of them. Bernard ran over to them, ignoring the throb in his temple that started to occur.

There were two boys, who had latched themselves to a couple of the soldiers' legs, and a girl who was clinging to a soldier's neck while hitting it in the head with a broomstick. Bernard lifted the child off of the soldier's neck and started hitting it with the broomstick. The soldier quickly whipped around and tried to grab the broomstick from his hands. Bernard turned the stick's end and swiftly pierced the tin man's neck, which dislodged his head. The little girl went scrambling after the rolling head and then started to kick it around like a soccer ball. Bernard couldn't help himself as he lightly chuckled at the scene, ignoring the soldier's remaining body tumble to the ground behind him.

Then the dizziness returned. He shook his head, trying to rid of the fog that was clouding his vision, but that only made his head ache even more. He staggered a little before he was able to straighten out and put most of his weight on his uninjured ankle.

He lifted his head from his hands. A flash of red and blue. A weight pinning him down. A weight, then pain to his shoulder. More pain to his head. A whirring noise in his ears. The inability to open his eyes. Finally…sleep.