Disclaimer: it's not mine…

This= Sesshoumaru's angry thoughts.

This= Sesshoumaru's normal thoughts

This= the emails

This= normal time

Just in case you get confused.

A Feudal Nightmare

The silence was so profound you could hear the crickets in Canada chirping or whatever it is they do to make that annoying noise. Feudal Fairytale? What the hell does that mean? I better not be cast as some pansy ass prince who sings and goes around looking for my "one true love". I have a reputation to uphold! I'd say Inuyasha is a shoo-in, but god, have you heard that croaking, animal dying, whiny, god forsaken noise he calls a voice? The only thing his…croak…is good for is ushering others to their death. Who wouldn't want to die after hearing that? On second thought, what a horrible way to die!! With that as the last thing you ever heard! You'd be the laughing stock of the afterlife! "Oh how did you die?"-"I was serenaded to death by a voice that held a very strong if not perfect resemblance to the sound of a dying cow…now that I think about it, there is a strong physical resemblance to said cow as well." You'd be laughed out of heaven or hell or wherever it is you end up. I would naturally be laughed out of heaven, beings as perfect as me could only go to heaven of course.

While Sesshoumaru was off musing in his head about the wonders, or lack thereof, of his brother's…interesting…singing abilities, Mrs. Numbskull…I mean, Voss was elaborating on the torture, or project that she is going to force all of her excited students to participate in.

"OOO, you guys are just gonna love it!! It has romance, action, adventure, danger, (well, of the stage variety) as well as mystery!" I find myself highly doubtful this fairytale could contain even one, not to mention all of those normally interesting attributes. The story goes that a girl from the future falls into a well and goes back in time to the Feudal Age! Isn't that exciting?"

Is she expecting a response, let me rephrase, is she expecting an honest response? Wouldn't that be funny…not that I would laugh…I am the great Sesshoumaru, the antics of humans, especially theater teachers, are well below my standards.

Mrs. Voss, luckily, continued her explanation without pausing for an answer, "And then she sees a handsome, sleeping young demon that is trapped by an arrow on a tree. Unfortunately for her, she is not able to ogle him…" Did she just say ogle? She's like 50?!! 50 year olds, I mean 50-year-old humans do not ogle!! Now, 700-year-old sex god demons, well that is another story… "as the vicious demon tries to eat her, she is forced to try to wake the rather handsome sleeping demon. She awakens him; he tries to kill her because he thinks she is his old love, but instead saves her by accident you see. He attacks her; she dodges and the attack hits the demon trying to kill her." Wow that sounds like something Inuyasha would do…miss his real target and hit something else.

Mrs. Voss continued, unaware of the Sesshoumaru's internal dialogue. "Quite a set of lucky events, no? Anyway, after the first misguided attack, the handsome demon realizes that she isn't his dead lover, and therefore wants nothing to do with her. They then discover that she has this sacred jewel thing that has the power to grant any wish to its holder. He naturally wants this jewel, because, while he is handsome, he is also only a half demon. He longs for the power of a true demon. A fight ensues and between the two of them, they manage to break the jewel, watch as it gets stolen and the pieces are spread across the world." Why does this story sound vaguely familiar…

"On their travels, they meet with a rather ugly, weak looking demon. He claims to be the Lord of the Western Lands, but the girl and the half demon find themselves to be quite skeptical because it is a well-known fact that the Lord of the Western Lands is an extremely hot, powerful and all together terrifying demon. Not to mention he is the half demon's older half brother. Even though the half demon doesn't remember what his scary brother looks like, he is pretty sure this pansy of a demon can't be him. The guy doesn't even have FANGS! They discover the demon IS in fact the older brother, but he is under a curse, which only the jewel can heal. They find the jewel shards and out of filial love and duty, the younger brother uses the wish to save his brother. Isn't it a beautiful story? Oh, also, the girl and the half demon fall in love during their quest for the jewel shards."

What the hell?!!! Pansy ass older brother?!!! Weak? Ugly? How in the hell did history get so warped?!!! Inuyasha, Handsome?!! This Sesshoumaru is not a pansy!! He saved me? Cut off my freaking arm is more like it!!! Out of filial love?? HAH! Like I, the great Sesshoumaru would ever need anything he could offer. Like he would ever do anything out of filial Love! There is no love filial or otherwise! This cannot, will not be tolerated. Where is the idiot who wrote this down wrong? This glaring error must be corrected immediately!!

As Sesshoumaru is lost in his rage of disbelief, because who wouldn't be after hearing that his magnanimous self, is remembered in history as a weak, ugly, pansy ass demon who's half demon brother had to save him out of love? It is enough to lead a demon to ritual suicide just to gain back even a smidgen of dignity.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Voss continued her death inducing, for some, speech. "Now everyone, we shall have tryouts for the parts next week. I want you all to have read the play by then, oh and don't forget that this is a musical number. So prepare a song to go along with the lines that you have rehearsed." While talking, she passed around the scripts. "Yes, this is a mandatory activity. In fact, your participation in this musical is the only grade you will be receiving for this course. I know how excited you all are! Don't worry, even if you don't get the lead role, you can still get an A in the class! I just want everyone to work as hard as they can! You are all STARS!" Shoot me, no really, please. Or, failing that, because I can see how killing such a perfect being as myself would be too difficult, give me a non-participating role in this. For once in my life, I would love to stand on the sidelines. I could be a tree. Trees don't have to sing, right? Little does he know it, if you aren't a main character, you are automatically part of the chorus. Even if you are a tree.

As Sesshoumaru was thinking this day could not possibly get worse, it does. "Yo Sesshy!! Man, this is gonna rock! Who do you wanna be? Man, I hope I don't get stuck as the wimpy brother! Can you imagine playing such a loser role? Not that you would, being so cool and all!!" Throughout this rather… unwelcome…speech, the vein on Sesshoumaru's head began to get quite large and seemed to be pulsing as if it had a heart of its own. "I mean, who do you think will get to be THAT loser!!" Unknowingly, Jason just signed his death warrant with a lot of flare, I might add. It seems he even added a few loops, you know, to make it look more flourishy and impressive.

"Jason," Sesshomaru all out growled. But before he could say another word, ChaCha interjected, "OOOO I hope I can be the girl!! Do you think I would be good, Jason? I love acting! What song should I prepare?"

"ChaCha, you would be great!! And Sesshy could be your leading man! That would be soo cool! Dude, whatcha think? That would be awesome right?" Jason looked up at Sesshoumaru with his hand in the air as he waited for Sesshoumaru to high five it. Like that would happen. Jason didn't realize that instead of high-fiving it, Sesshoumaru was thinking of melting it off, painfully, over a long period of time just so that he can enjoying the screams of pain and terror as Jason repents for ever saying the older brother is a wimp. But he doesn't get the chance as his thoughts are interrupted. BEEP BEEP.

Great, just what I need. another annoyance. Does anyone know how to be not annoying? With much chagrin, he opened the email.

Stick in the Mud,

Who said anything about WANTING to know anything about you? I bet my old Aunt Agatha is more interesting than you are! I have SMELLY socks that interest me more than you do! Remember, you are merely an assignment that I am UNFORTUNATELY forced to put up with.

SECONDLY, What now she has points? This bizarre, ranting cretin cannot have anything worthwhile to say, if her first "point" is any indication. I do NOT judge people quickly! I am confident that there is nothing more to learn about you, so I was able to make my conclusions sooner rather than later!

THIRDLY, I am NOT a worthless, ignorant annoying girl! I know quite a lot, much more than you, I am sure!

FOURTHLY, who said anything about liking loud and obnoxious people?

Thinking you might need your head checked,

Chickeepoo92

Oh hell no!! I am not a stick in the mud? Who does this cheeky, disrespectful, clearly unobservant, insolent girl think she is?!! How dare she criticize me, the Lord of the West! She thinks I am uninteresting? Stupid? She has only lived a maximum of 18 years of life, what does she know about interesting?

Insolent Brat,

I tire of your stupidity. You wouldn't know interesting if it punched you in the face, left a mark with a note that said, "Interesting was here". Also, you seem confused about the meaning of the word interesting. I am clearly interesting, while smelly socks are not. Though, maybe for someone with a brain as tiny as yours, smelly socks seem like the most captivating item ever. You will have to let me know. I have never encountered someone with your…mental capacity. It would be quite interesting, for the few moments it will take, to see how such an inferior being functions.

You are clearly an unobservant fool who makes judgments without facts. Clearly this "therapy" is the only way in which you are going to get your much-needed help. I mean, how can someone so dumb, so self centered, so judgmental live to be your age? I thought that would be statistically impossible. I applaud you for being one in a million. It really is quite an accomplishment, though maybe I shouldn't celebrate yet. Beings of your level are quite prone to sudden death.

Awaiting your long overdue demise,

Lrdfthwst

That should do it. Hmph, I feel better now. Now all I have to do is fix that egregious historical error and all will be right with the world again. As if Inuyasha could ever be the better brother, that is truly something to laugh about.