Pairing: Gray/Lucy if you squint hard and tilt your head sideways.
Warnings: Uh. Nudity?
Summary: Gray is kidnapped by a nudist colony.
"Oh, my son! My baby boy! You've come home!"
Gray looked around desperately, looking anywhere but at the nude woman in his arms. Unfortunately, they were surrounded by equally nude men and women, all curiously staring at him.
He had been on his way to Lucy's house when he heard a shriek and was suddenly dragged off, somehow losing his pants in the process, much to his chagrin (and surprise). He was now naked, with a naked woman clinging to him and weeping (it really was quite uncomfortable to have tears running unhindered down his body), and surrounded by yet more unclothed people in an unfamiliar neighbourhood.
"Look lady, I'm not your son. My parents died a long time ago —"
"What a terrible thing to say to your own mother!" The woman wailed and clung harder.
"Excuse me, ma'am?"
Gray whipped his head around in the direction of the voice. He grinned in relief when he saw Erza standing there with Natsu, Lucy, and a short, skinny, blue-haired kid.
"Ma'am, this is your real son. We found him in the market." Erza trained her gaze steadily on a second floor window and pushed the boy forward.
The woman gasped and let go of Gray, stumbling towards to boy. Gray used the opportunity to make his escape. He sidled over to Natsu, awkwardly trying to cover himself.
Lucy handed Gray a lacy handkerchief, eyes resolutely on the ground, face flushed. "Sorry, this is all I have at the moment."
"Thanks. You, er, want this back later?"
"NO!" Lucy yelped. "I-I mean, n-no, it's okay." She reddened a little more.
"I don't even see a resemblance between me and the kid," Gray grumbled.
"Oh I don't know," Natsu disagreed. "I can sort of see one. You know, in the lack of clothes."
"Drop dead."