The camera reopens and you see a wrestling ring. Katie The Cat was standing in the middle of the ring with a referee shirt on. Next to her was her sister Izzy The Ferret with a microphone in her hand. At a table was Seth The Andaconda and Lilyyan The Rabid Rabbit.
"Ladies and Gentlemen this is the first ever match in Filth Sheet history. I am Seth The Andaconda here with the lady that replaced Sean The LoneWolf. We have and interview with him which we will show you later. So now we are the suave seven. This little lady's name Is Lilyyan The Rabid Rabbit. Now onto the match, lets take it to our announcer Ferret."
"The following match is a gauntlet match. Introducing first from San Juan, Pureto Rico weighing in at 205 lbs, Justin "The Ram." Escobar. He comes out to Primo's theme music and was wearing black half tights half shorts. His white hair is spiked up and hes wearing a black vest and his trademark sunglasses. "And his first opponet from unkown, John "The Gorilla." Gorilla came out in jeans and no shirt. He and Ram immeditaely locked up and Ram threw him into the ropes and clotheslined him over the ropes. Ram waited til he got up then springboarded over the top ropes and hit him with a hurricarana. He posed then picked Gorilla up and was gonna throw him into the guard barrier, but Gorilla reversed it and Ram went over the barrier. As Ram was hopping the barrier, Gorilla ran and dropped kicked his leg into the barrier. Ram toppled over the side and grabbed his leg. Gorilla grabbed him by the legs and slingshotted him into the ringpost. Ram fell onto the ground and Gorilla grabbed him by the leg and dragged him towards the apron. He picked him up and Ram kicked him in the nuts. Gorilla and Ram both dropped and Ram crawled under the ring. Gorilla was gonna follow him but had a better plan. He ran to the other side and waited. He flipped up the canvas and smoke flew out from under there into Gorilla's face. He stumbled around till Ram crawled out from under the ring with a fire extinguisher and hit him in the gut. Gorilla doubled over then Ram ran him into the gaurd barrier then ran his knee into the side of Gorilla's head. Gorilla collapsed and Ram threw him through the bottom ropes and ran into make a pin. 1 2 kick out. Ram looked at Cat and she held up 2 fingers. Ram slammed his fists into the ground.
"Come on Ram, this isn't the time to have a pout." Lindsay yelled from ringside. Ram picked Gorilla up and threw him into the turnbuckle. He ran to the other side of the ring and ran at Gorilla. Gorilla moved at the last second and Ram ran head long into the turnbuckle. Gorilla ran behind him and rolled him up. 1 2 2.9 kick out. Ram rolled out of the ring and took a breather. Lindsay ran over to him and smacked him across the face.
"Get your fucking head in the game." Ram shoved her into the guard barrier and got back in the ring . He stood up only to catch a forearm to the face. Gorilla covered him but only got a 2 count. Gorilla threw him against the ropes then 360 side slammed him . Gorilla ascended to the top rope and and attempted a swanton bomb, but Ram rolled away and Gorilla jumped from the top rope and rolled twice and attempted rolling thunder but Ram but his knees up and Gorilla fell full force onto them. Gorilla rolled in pain til Ram picked him up, ran him shoulder first into the steel post then when he came away from the corner he set him up for a powerbomb. He hit it then used the ropes and rolled into a jacknife roll up. 1 2 3.
"Winner by pinfall, Ram. Next John Taylor "The Panda." Out came Ram's cousin. He looked about 15 and waa wearing shorts and a tank top. Ram waited til he got in the ring and bicycle kicked him. Panda dropped like a sack o hammers. Ram picked him up and hit what he called the Escobarian Driver ( double under hook back to back piledriver). You could tell Panda wasn't gonna move. So he picked him up and hit an f 5 on him. You could tell Panda wasn't gonna move, then Ram grabbed him by the ankle and started twisting. Panda started yelling in pain and tapped out . Ram didn't let go til Katie pushed him off.
"Winner by submission, Ram. Final opponet will be Russell, The TitanWolf. He came out in trunks and got into the ring. A camera shows Lindsay talking to Izzy. What Lindsay doesn't know is that Izz's mic is still on and Ram heard her say that she couldn't wait to fuck the winner's brains out. Ram looked at her in disbeleif He ran out to the ringside and grabbed Lindsay by the hair. He threw her into the ring and Titan grabbed her. He looked at Ram and then slammed Lindsay to the mat. Ram ascended to the top rope then looked at Titan.
"Wassssssupppppppp!!!!"
"Wassssssupppppppp!!!!"
Ram dived from the top rope then head butted Lindsay in the crotch. He grabbed her legs then flipped her over and put her in the Walls of Jericho. Lindsay was screaming in pain. Titan ran to ringside, forced Izzy and Seth from their chairs and brought the chairs into the ring. He placed one under Lindsay's head then slammed her face first into it. He picked up the other one and con chair toed her. She stopped moving, but you could still see she was breathing. Russell laid one of the chair down and Ram released Lindsay, then they picked her up and hit her with a snapshot onto the chair(flapjack ddt) Blood was starting to flow from her face, then they set up a table. They both went under the ring and grabbed seperate things. Ram opened his bag and dumped out glass and tacks. Ram bent down and grabbed her around the knees then lifted her up in a flapjack then Russell used a cutter on her (3D). Then a familiar tune filled the air and out came Awesome Kong. She grabbed Lindsay and hit her with 6 Implant Busters. When they flipped Lindsay over, it looked like Lindsay had no boobs at all. Then Ram went under the ring one last time and from under there he grabbed what looked like scissors and a razor. He motioned for the rest of the team to circle around and they all held Linds down while she weakly struggled aginst them. Ram started cutting her hair till it was short then used the razor and made her completly bald.
"I now pronounce you El Bald Bitch. Plus I was gonna dump you anyway. Russell had told me you were only in this for the money. So you see this, it's your contract with the Filth Sheet." He took a lighter out of his pocket and lit the contract on fire. "As of now, you are no longer employed with us. Seth, please escort this gold digger off the premisises." Seth dragged her by her boot to the doors. "Ok everyone, lets get cleaned up then we can get to our interview with Lone then we can get down to the Filthies."
1 hour later
You see everyone sitting in their regular seats and everyone was wearing either mini skirts, or dresses and the guys were wearing suits. Except Desmond who was wearing sunglasses and a fedora and Titan who looked like Larry the Cable Guy.
"Hey I'm Justin and if I had a nickel for everyone that was better looking then me here.... I would have one nickel, thanks to Beth here. So after that grueling match which I feel I came out on top of. We are ready for our interview with former member, Sean The LoneWolf. We have him live via sattelite. Now Sean, we've been friends for years, why did you quit the show?"
You see Sean on a runway. "I left because I was offered a modeling job." Then a plane went by "Wrong type of runway"
" Ok lets focus now. Our first award is for best female recording artist. Russ, please give us the nominees."
"Thanks Ram. Our nominees are Miley Cyrus, Celine Deon, Taylor Swift and finally, Britney Spears. Katie, please tell us the winner,"
Katie picks up an envelope. "The winner is Celine Deon."
Izzy's head snapped up. "Are you telling me that that talentless, hideous, no good Canadian won?"
Seth looked over at her. "Izz, please calm down. Just cause Miley didn't win doesn't mean anything. Now Lil, would you please give us the next category."
"Our next category is for biggest nerd and also biggest virgin. Seth, if you would be so kind as to give us the nominees."
"Our noms are John Taylor, LoneWolf, me, and Gorilla. Our winner is John Taylor."
John came out with big smile on his face. "I'm gonna put these statues next to my laptop, my star wars glasses and Harry Potter wands."
"Great cuz, now get the hell out of here. Ok up next is worst song. The nominees are Canadian Idiot, Achey Breaky Song, Bullet for my Valentine, and Ninja Rap. Katie, please tell us who wins."
"The winner is Canadian Idiot. Fuck you Weird Al for disgracing the Great White North, you asshole. Now next category is best tribiute story. The nominees are Geoff and Bridgette, My Eddie Guerrrero Tribiute, TDI Grease Style, and Bad Things. Izz, please tell us the winner.
"Winner is Russell with Bad Things. Congrads to you for killing Duncan. Now onto movies. Our nominees are Tommy Boy, Beverly Hills Ninja, The Breakfast Club, and Talledega Nights. Seth, please tell us the winner."
"Our winner is The Breakfast club. Next category is best looking female on the Filth Sheet. Lil, you are not included because you haven't been here long so the winner is Katie."
She accepted her award with a big smile.
"Next category is most artistic person. Katie please give us the nominees and the winner." Said Seth.
"Nominees are Izzy, Jeff Hardy, Justin, and Michaelangelo. And our winner is Izzy."
Izzy got a big smile on her face and grabbed her award, "I would like to thank the academy."
"Smart ass" Justin said.
"Ok now next category would be best rapper. Izz, please tell us the nominees." said Russell
"Nominees are Justin, Eminem, 50 Cent and Dr. Dre. Lilyyan, please tell us the winner."
"The winner is Justin."
"What a surprise. I already knew that I was the greatest rapper of the 21st century" looks to the sky. "Because I'm Escobar, and I'm awesome."
"Ram, shut up about yourself for 2 minutes please." Titan Said.
"Russ, please speak in a language that I can understand. I speak awesome more than any other language, dumbass. Now what are the rest of the categories?"
"Next up is best show. Nominees are The Filth Sheet, The Filth Sheet, The Filth Sheet, and The Filth Sheet. The winner is, The Filth Sheet. Yeah now we all won a Filthy."
At this point in walked Mike Mizanian and John Hennigan AKA The Miz and John Morrison.
"What the hell do you kids think you are doing? You little bastards are just copying our show, and we are not gonna stand for that kinda crap." Miz said.
"We don't let people who copy others things into the Palace Of Wisdom."
"Ok first, pizz off Miz, and Morrison, shut the hell up about you stupid palace of Wisdom. And how about we settle this next week. A match consisting of Me and Seth here vs you two in a lumber jack strap match. Loser leaves their show. So pretty much if me and Seth lose, we are gone from the Filth Sheet. If you two lose, you guys become our bitches. But the best part is if we win, we get to use your images. So see you next week" Ram said as he and Seth spit apple into Miz and Morrisons's eyes. Then all the Filth Sheet crew started beating Miz and Morrison.