AN: heheheheheh…I can't wait to write this…XD yayyyy

Listening to: Lies by Evanescence and Little smirk by Theory of A dead man.

Matt looked at Mello incredulously, his mouth agape.

"Yeah…classy…Mello, WHAT THE FUCK?"

"I wouldn't expect you to see the gift I will be giving to the world by taking this job. But you still have to help conceal my stupid wound so I can go talk to the guy who put up the ad? It's not like they're going to hire some guy with a bullet hole in his arm. Anyway, I'm probably all over the news by now. They'll be on the lookout for blood."

Matt stared at him for another minute or two, then finally just threw up his arms in surrender.

"Whatever. What do you want me to get, makeup? I don't know if that stuff'll conceal blood…"

"It wont. He'll need something better…hm, why don't you just get a coat or something, and Mello can do the acting and pretend he's not hurt. It'd be way easier than trying to make it look like normal skin. And we could bandage it under the fabric." Near interjected.

"Yeah, do whatever Near said. But if you're buying me clothes then I'm coming with you. Knowing you…you'd buy me checkered pants or some shit like that. "

"Doesn't that ruin the plan of hiding?" Matt facepalmed at the whole situation.

"Matt. If you think I can take this job and hide at the same time, then you're more surprised than I thought you'd be. I don't see why…what did you think I'd be, a cab driver?"

"I dunno, I figured you'd find some crime lord, ditch us and start running drugs or something…not this…"

Mello smirked triumphantly. "Well, I guess I'm something of an enigma then." He grabbed Matt by the arm, and pulled him back towards the staircase to the streets. "Come along, man-bitch. We're going shopping."

Just as Near watched them vanish up the stairs, it occurred to him that they hadn't said anything about what he was to do while they were off shopping. His ear throbbed painfully. Well, If they were off shopping, he decided, then he was going shopping too. And he knew just the place. There was a gigantic toy store a few blocks away…and they even had some 'adult toys' on the third floor that Mello might like…

He began to walk, and after taking almost fifteen minutes to walk up the flight of stairs to the street, he was exhausted. He'd done more running tonight than he'd done in who knows how long, not to mention having lost blood. He couldn't wait to get to that toy store, sit down on one of those chunky plastic kiddie chairs and contemplate the insanity of his situation while operating the controls for a remote control train.

But first…he had to make it the four blocks to the place. Through the bad part of town. While suffering blood loss.

He sighed, and sat down on the curb on the corner, so the light of a street lamp illuminated his surroundings enough that he didn't feel completely vulnerable. After all, even though he was sixteen, he still looked like a twelve year old. A…fluffy…twelve year old. He took deep breaths until his heart calmed down from his tiring trek up the stairs, (really, there was at least two hundred stairs he'd had to climb!) and his eyes slid shut. He had almost fallen asleep by accident when he felt something touch his shoulder. Something warm…A hand? His eyes flew open, and just then he felt another hand slip below the waistband of his pants. He let out a high pitched yelp. Hot breath lingered wetly against his face, and a deep voice whispered huskily in his ear.

"You're just the person I've been needing…"

Near stifled a scream as he was dragged off into the night.

…

"Are you KIDDING, Matt? See, this is why I had to come along. Look at that thing! It's hideous!" Mello cringed at the sight of the jacket Matt held up. It's design could be described in two words: Snakeskin and Hound's-tooth. Matt crooked his head to the side, and looked at it in the light.

"Yeah, I guess your right. The feathers on the sleeves don't add much." He put in back on the shelf. "What about this one?"

Mello shook his head disdainfully, pressed his hand to his face in aggravation, and walked towards the door. "I'm leaving. Let's try someplace different. How about that gothic underground place across the street? It might not be that great, but I'll bet their clothes don't have highlighter orange feathers next to freaking hound's-tooth patterning." He pushed the door of the shop open and wrinkled his nose at the foul smell of the city street. Matt stood behind him, staring at the clothes in the window of the store Mello had mentioned. There were trench coats, corsets, bucked boots with spikes, and tight leather pants with straps, buckles, and steel rings that made the pants look less like something you'd wear on the street and more like something you'd wear while being chained and bound by a sexy girl with a whip. He sneaked a look at Mello, and could almost swear he saw drool pooling at the corners of his mouth. He looked transfixed by the store…but then, Matt supposed, he might have just been slightly hypnotized by the strobe lights flashing in the window. Mello grabbed his hand and dragged him across the street.

"I am SO glad I stole that one cop's credit card…" Matt heard Mello mutter under his breath. He rolled his eyes. Of course he had. Oh well. At least he wasn't going to force Matt to pay for his stuff. Cause this place looked pricey.

Mello pushed open the door, and they were greeted by the overwhelming smells of cinnamon, chocolate, and something that was suspiciously like…rice krispy treats? What the hell? Matt cringed as harsh, loud music met his ears, the vocals a distorted, scratchy German. Mello's face spread into a demented grin.

"Fuck yes. I like this place already." He disappeared into the dry ice clouds fogging up the store, and Matt decided to take a look around himself. Some of this stuff wasn't half bad…in fact, he really liked that one shirt…grey and black striped with a prison number on the left collarbone. On the mannequin, it was paired with a pair of tight grey stone washed jeans, and combat boots. Wait…his eyes grew wide. They had…goggles! With spikes! And biohazard signs on the lenses! He eyed them like L in a candy store.

Meanwhile, Mello was biting his lip. He just. Couldn't. Choose. The tight leather pants would look SO HOT on him…but then, there was an amazing red leather coat with flame cutouts on the shoulders and little skull buttons…and the whole pint in going shopping was to buy a jacket to hide his bulletwound…

Damn. He felt girly. Shopping for clothes (and drooling over them no less!).

Fuck it.

He'd just get both. After all, it wasn't his money. He stared at the racks for another moment, then added a few more things (meaning at least seven more items) to the pile, and went to find Matt. He'd need to get to his new place of work soon or they might not hire him. He spotted the redhead, and grabbed him by the back of his shirt, dragging him towards the checkout counter, which was adorned with five dollar pairs of handcuffs and pillows shaped like zombies.

"Hey Mello, I found some stuff, do you care if I get—"

"Yeah, whatever." Mello replied, dropping at least a hundred pounds worth of leather, buckles, and vinyl onto the counter. The checkout guy was passed out in his chair, snoring louder than the music with a trail of drool running down his chin and soaking into this ratty trench. Mello grabbed one of the sets of hand cuffs and whacked him in the face with it. They caught on the guy's eyebrow ring, and he nearly jumped through the ceiling when he woke up.

"I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM, I SWEAR!" he yelled, then turned scarlet, removing the handcuffs from his face. "Uh, I mean, Hi. You guys getting all this?"

Mello crossed his arms. "Yup, and make it snappy, cause I've got a job to get to."

The guy simply nodded, and looked warily at Mello's bloodied arm, and the tourniquet/jacket sleeve tied around it. Mello handed him the credit card.

"Hey dude, you want me to like, bandage that for you? Cause your hand's turning blue, and bosses don't tend to like blue hands. I know from experience." He rung up their clothes and ducked under the counter, returning with a roll of gauze and rubbing alcohol. Matt raised an eyebrow.

"Do I want to know why you have that there?"

"Eh. We do piercings, and, well, let's just say that some times, people struggle. And that's not too good when you're trying to get certain places pierced."

Matt nodded knowingly. Mello clenched his teeth and extended his arm, wincing as he untied the sleeve. The dude poured some alcohol on it, then taped the gauze down around it.

"Yeah, if your hand stays blue for more than a day, you might wanna have it looked at. That happened to me, and I nearly lost my hand."

"I'm not even gonna ask…" Matt shook his head.

"Oh, it was just a mishap with a waffle maker. But don't tell, I told everybody I got mauled by the police dogs that were chasing me."

Matt and the guy pounded knuckles, and then they left the store.

"You reckon we ought to find Near?" Matt asked, once they were walking towards Mello's new job. Mello shrugged on his new coat.

"Nah. He'll turn up." They rounded a corner, and Mello pointed towards a building about fifty feet away. "There it is. Let's go." He broke into a run, and stopped at the door, where there was a little window. All the rest of the windows had plywood nailed over them and were graffiti-ed on, but you could actually see in through this one. Behind it sat a middle aged guy smoking a cigar. Mello tapped on the window, and it swung open on rusty hinges.

"Well if it isn't Mello! Hang on, I'll go get the boss." The guy got up an d walked off.

"You know that guy?" Matt seemed slightly disbelieving.

"Uh…yeah. Long story."

The window swung open, and a balding man with a moustache peered at them through beedy eyes.

"Mello? What are you doing here? And who's this?" he gestured towards Matt. "And don't tell me that was you on the news earlier…"

"Uh, no, it wasn't. I've come about your ad." He dug in his pocket until he found the crumpled piece of paper. He held it up for the man to see.

"Well, whaddya know. Sure, kid. You start in fifteen minutes, now go in and get dressed. And since your with him, you can watch for free. No charge, but just this once."

He opened the front door, which had been locked from the inside (so only people that were allowed to enter could), and he escorted Mello off. The guy with the cigar handed Matt a drinks menu (no ID check), and as the redhead took his seat at the table closest to the stage, he stared at the text on the menu cover. He exhaled deeply.

"Ernie's Bar and Exotic Dancing!

Classy! Anonymous! Affordable!*

(free lap dances on Thursdays!)

*Price varies per drink, and some of our eager employees cost more than others, depending on person, age, race, gender, and/or cleanliness and desirability."

Matt wondered why he had ever agreed to help Mello with this.

AN continued: XD cause that place isn't racist at ALL.

And yes, Mello is a stripper.

Don't worry, he costs a LOT. Psh, who wouldn't pay for him?

REVIEW IF YOU WNT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO NEAR! (and if you want to know what ELSE Mello got at that store…heheheh…*evil laughter*)

I know this chap wasn't quite as funny, but hey, I FINALLY got a plot going. Sortof. XD