Hey everyone! This is chapter 8 and hopefully chapter 9 will be on it's way to the writing board as soon as I get my butt in better gear and there's not so much camping going on. :3 I started to write a third piece to this little series, but it's in production so hopefully that will be out soon too. :D
Thank you so much to those of you that have read and reviewed. I really love you guys. ---hugs---
Please enjoy!
- - - - means lyrics
A Nightmare
The world seemed so numb around him. The only thing to keep him company was his anger which he had trouble controlling as of late. He found himself having horrible dreams at night. No… Not dreams. They were more like nightmares.
At night he found his thoughts wandering to her; he would always wonder why she would keep coming back to wait for him. After how he treated her… why hadn't she given up on him? It had been weeks since he had spoken to her last… possibly even many months… It was difficult to keep track of the days that continued to pass anymore.
It could have been longer for all he knew. Each passing day he wished that she would stop coming to wait for him. If she kept coming, then he wouldn't be able to hide his guilt… he wouldn't be able to stay strong like he wished.
- - - -
I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone
- - - -
It was her that was causing his dreams; his guilt of his actions. He kept dreaming that she would die no matter what; that someone would kill her even if he stayed away. It was believable that his mother would go against her words… that she would do something like that.
Wincing, he closed his eyes to go to sleep again that night. He was to train in the morning with a group of guards. His father was busy tending to his mother, her illness worsening. That fact made him pleased in a way, that his mother was getting what was coming to her.
Opening his golden orbs, his mouth formed a hard line at the knock on his chamber door.
"Master Sesshoumaru, the guards have assembled in the gardens," a servant stated outside the door, "They are waiting for you to begin."
He looked away from the door and didn't reply.
"…Master Sesshoumaru?" the servant questioned.
"Return to your duties," he ordered icily.
The guards could wait until he got there. They couldn't tell him when and where to start… He couldn't allow it.
Getting to his feet, he went to the open window. It was a daily ritual to check to see if she was there. His golden orbs searched through the bushes, seeing nothing. He raised a brow. She wasn't there… but she was always there… What was so different about now? She had been there through rain and shine and winter…
His eyes widened with the thought of winter. More than a few months had passed already… over a year… maybe even two… His brows pushed together at the realization. Had he been so preoccupied in trying to forget Nina that he had missed two years? Had it already been that long?
- - - -
These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
- - - -
Turning away from the window, he put on his red and white hoari and got ready for training. He walked silently through the halls, paying no attention to those around him. Fighting the guards would take his mind off of Nina. He knew that it would.
Coming to the gardens, he saw the twelve guards standing at the ready. They were ready to fight with him.
"Four on one," he stated simply when he was close to them.
Quickly, the twelve demons separated into groups of fours. One group drew their swords and the other two groups stood back.
He stood at ease, hardly seeing a challenge in training against mere guards. He wanted to fight his father… he wanted to be the only demon to have ever defeated the great dog demon of the west. He would never achieve that when fighting palace guards.
"Fight as you choose," he told them, cracking his claws.
All four attacked at once – two in the front and two in the back – coming at him with their swords. As one blade was swung at him, he used his arm to block the attack before shifting his weight and punching the guard in the stomach. He straightened his arm before his index and middle finger began to glow. Using the whip, he swung his arm and struck every standing guard around him. All twelve fell to their knees, some unconscious.
Pathetic. That's what this was. He had used little to no effort and all of them were lying on the ground. Leaving, he left all the guards where they were. They would heal well enough.
His feet took him to the palace gates and he raised a brow at why he would come there. Was it curiosity that drew him there? Did he want to know why she hadn't come for the first time in so long?
He turned away from the gate and back toward the palace. He wouldn't let his curiosity get the better of him. He needed to keep the distance that had come between them; at least… for her safety…
She ran, ran faster than her legs had gone before. She had said her goodbyes to her parents and turned away and ran. Now that she was nine, she could see the resentment that her parents held of her. there was no longer a reason to stay in that poor village; nothing to tie her there.
For two years she sat and waited. Two years of watching and seeing all the anger in her once friend's eyes… She couldn't take it any longer. She needed freedom. She needed to be rid of the pain that burned greatly at her heart.
- - - -
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
- - - -
Everything that had happened two years ago… it haunted her now. All the smiling and laughter didn't mean anything anymore. She couldn't smile about them now. No… Now they only hurt her. There was no longer anything that could bring that smile to her face. It was too far out of reach that happiness… that future…
There was nothing in the distance.
A couple days passed and there was still no sign of Nina. She finally stopped coming… He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be happy or upset. In a way he was both. He was upset to see her walk away from him… but elated that she was safe at home.
The knocking on his chamber door caught his attention. When the door slid open, his eyes narrowed at the expression on his father's face.
"Sesshoumaru, your mother wishes to see you," his father explained, motio0ning toward the doorway.
"Does it weigh any factor that I do not desire to see her?" he questioned with an emotionless tone.
"She is dying, my son. Death is in the air," his father stated, "She wishes to see you before passing on."
He thought about his father's words for a moment before getting to his feet. Nodding, his father led him down the hallways.
The maids and servants all looked grim as he walked by them. His father was right; the smell of death really was in the air. It was mostly concentrated on his mother's chamber, where the source was.
His father opened the door and guided him forward toward his mother. She was lying in her bed, the covers over her and sweat pouring down her face. She didn't look like she had before. Her porcelain skin was pale white and her hair was in disarray. He had to admit that it was hard to look at her in that state.
"Oh my Sesshoumaru," she stated quietly, her voice no more than a whisper, "Please live as you have been taught. I know that you till make a powerful, proud demon lord one day."
"Thank you mother," he stated, bowing to his mother.
"Take care, my son," she whispered, smiling a small smile before closing her eyes.
Death took her then. Her breaths stopped and her body was still. His father placed a hand on his shoulder and he could sense the grief through the castle. He wouldn't grieve for her though, not now or in ten years. He was not a son to her, but a piece of clay to mold. That was all he had ever been. If she cared, she would have allowed him to be with Nina; she would have allowed him to keep his friend.
- - - -
These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
- - - -
Once his father's hand let go of his shoulder, he slowly turned to leave the chamber. They could all grieve together. He would be out searching for what should have rightfully been his.
He went through the forest with quick feet. He ran to the poor village and down to the old hut. His nose caught a distant scent and he raised a brow with confusion. Her scent should have been more recent than that…
Turning around, he saw her father standing there; his expression serious.
"Where is your daughter?" he asked the demon, his own expression serious.
If anyone should have known, it should have been her parents.
"I don't know," the demon admitted with a shrug, "I believed that she was with you when she said that she was leaving."
His golden orbs widened and his back went rigid with those words. She left?
"Who knows where she went or how long she'll last on her own," her father continued, "Half breeds don't usually last long on their own."
"You are her father, and you're just going to let her die?" he asked, his fists clenching tightly.
This demon… this demon didn't deserve to be Nina's father. That kind hearted girl… she deserved so much more than this demon. Out of anger, his eyes started to glow red and he could feel his body starting to change. His teeth gritted together as a loud growl was growing in his throat.
With a change in the wind, he became a large white dog.
"I see how it is," her father murmured, drawing a sword.
He attacked the demon with his large fangs, his acid like drool burning the ground. Her father used his sword to block before slashing at him. The blade caught his right front leg, cutting the flesh. With a swat of the right paw, he knocked the demon into the forest.
The two ran through the forest, fighting fiercely. He knew that he was allowing his anger to control him, but at the time, he didn't care. A tough battle was what he needed… He needed to vent his anger…
He stumbled at the blood loss. Nina's father had fought well, using his claws and sword well. It wasn't enough though. I wasn't just her father that had treated her poorly, but the entire village.
His drool created a poison mist through the village; decaying all the old huts and killing many people. Very few had managed to survive.
"Filthy creatures," he muttered, leaning against a tree trunk.
He was panting tiredly and struggling to make it back to the palace.
In his blurry vision, he caught sight of the cave he had once explored. It would have made a good place to rest for the time being. He needed cover before he was found wounded. Slowly, he made his way to the cave opening. He sat down against its walls and caught his breath.
- - - -
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along
- - - -
A small smirk found its way to his lips as he thought about what he had done. He had fought for her – killed for her – even though she was nowhere near the danger. He would have done it all for her… He would have done everything… and now she was gone.
"Such a shame," he murmured, closing his eyes to rest.
He never returned to the palace when he awoke in the cave. His feet began to wander, and he had left the shelter of the western plains. He trained and killed many demons with his claws, finding none that were of a real challenge.
After a few months, he had heard word of his father. There was a human woman that was in a large family by the ocean. On his father's travels he had come across her and they had spent a night of passion together. She was now pregnant with his father's child and he was to have a half sibling.
The idea of this didn't appeal to him very much. A human wife meant that she would need constant protection against other demons. His father would become no more than a doting husband instead of the giant dog demon. He could not stand the idea of his father becoming weak.
He returned to the palace to speak with his father. There was no way to change what had happened, but he could persuade his father to not return to her.
"M-master Sesshoumaru," a servant stuttered with surprise, "What a pleasure to have you return."
"Where is my father?" he asked icily, his cold eyes looking at the servant.
He could sense the fear coming off the servant from his gaze.
"In the gardens, master."
Without another word, he walked down the familiar hallways to the outside gardens. There was his father, standing beside one of the smaller patches of flowers.
"So you have returned Sesshoumaru," his father stated pleasantly, not turning to look at him.
"You cannot go to this woman father," he started, his brows furrowing, "She will make you weak!"
"Me loving her is no different than you loving that half bred child Sesshoumaru," his father explained, "They would both need as much protection as the other."
His yes froze at the mention of Nina. How could he compare the two? Nina had claws and strength. That pregnant human woman could use nothing to defend herself.
"I no longer feel such things," he stated emotionlessly, "She is making you weak father. You were once a proud demon lord, now you're becoming their pet."
"Say what you will, my son, but it does not change what will happen."
His fists clenched tightly with agitation toward his father. If his father became weak, then he would have no one to defeat. There would be no demon to prove his strength against… there would no longer be a challenge left for him.
"The child will be born in a few months," his father started, "Would you come to see its birth?"
"I suppose that I have no choice in the matter."
"Meet me by the ocean at that time."
He turned and left his father in the gardens. His father would not listen to what he had to say, so he would do as he wished. He would meet his father as requested, but not to see the child's birth.
- - - -
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me
- - - -
He would get the victory that he had waited so long to have. His father was the only demon strong enough that was worth defeating. After his father's defeat, he would then proceed to look for Nina.
If there was still that sliver of hope, then she would travel to the ocean. If she was going to the ocean, then he would meet her there. Things would be explained properly.
After those two years of convincing himself that she was gone, he knew that she wasn't. He would find her and she would learn the truth.
End of Chapter 8
I hope that that was a good chapter. I personally think it was a little rushed and I'm sorry if you guys all felt that way too. Hopefully the next chapter will be a little longer as well. :3 Thank you so much for reading! The song was My Immortal by Evanescence and I hope that you all thought that it fit in with the chapter.
Thank you so much for reading! Please R&R and I'll update as soon as I can. :3