Disclaimer: GW does not belong to me I'm only an obsessed ff writer. The lowest of the low...

Dying for a Life Worth Living - A Lady Syndil story

Chapter Summary: Heero realizes she can't just pretend her life as a woman didn't happen.

Main pairing 1X2, Side pairs 3x4 5xS

Warnings: Shonen Ai, Yaoi. Language, lemons. This is an Angsty chapter

Chapter 12 – Orange carpeting

Heero laughed, God she felt good. Oh sure she hadn't cum, Hell she couldn't even get fully erect yet. But that didn't mean it hadn't felt Fucking Awesome. And the day would come when she would cum, she was sure of it, Very sure. In fact she was hotly anticipating that day, especially seeing as when she had been a woman she had never done so. She had always felt like she was missing 'something' and maybe she had….like a dick. Stretching she grinned at the deliciously disheveled Duo.

"We should probably get up, so we can, you know…go to bed." Duo chuckled as he got slowly to his feet, putting a hand on Heero's chest to push him back down.

"Stay put Hee-chan, and I'll go get a washcloth to clean you up with. I mean it'd be a crying shame to stain such lovely orange carpeting." Duo chirped as he headed down the hall towards the guest bathroom.

But Heero's breathing caught in her throat, those words….words…memories…

STAINED…..ORANGE….CARPETING…

Repeating themselves, over and over in her head.

Orange.

Stained.

Orange.

Carpeting.

Heero was completely overwhelmed by a sudden barrage of memories, memories of her previous life. 'He' Duo's counterpart had had nearly identical hideous orange shag carpeting in his house. Stained Orange Carpeting…. And many of those Stains had been caused by them.

(Flashback)

1 hour for lunch – a 30 minute drive each way to his house… The door flies open and barely closes behind them as they fall to the floor, screwing on the orange shag carpeting…

Again.

They are making love on the couch, he is over her, her head has fallen off the side and she stares down at the stained orange carpeting as he pounds into her hot willing body.

Again.

Sated, resting, napping, wrapped together, at peace lying on the stained orange carpeting.

Again.

Hot fucking sex, as they literally screw their way up orange carpeted stairs to the second floor.

Faster Again.

The hallway to the kitchen, kneeling on the orange shag carpet, playing with ice, driving him crazy.

Again….the couch.

Again….the recliner.

Again….the rug burns.

Again….the stained orange carpeting.

Again...

The last thing Duo expected to see when he returned to the living room with a happy smile on his heart shaped face and a warm wet washcloth for his Hee-chan. Was to find the sturdy Japanese male curled up into a fetal position lying on his side. The cobalt eyes wide open but unseeing. Dropping the cloth Duo raced to Heero's side and gathered the shaking male into his arms. Panic gripped the long haired male.

"Heero?... Ohgodohgodohgod, please, please come back! Please…..HEE-CHAN, OH GOD, DON"T LEAVE ME!"

It was the cry of her bonded mate that broke thru the grip of the memories. Blinking to clear her blurry vision Heero saw the terrified expression on Duo's face. Reaching a hand up, she cupped his lovely and so very expressive face.

"Duo….Beloved. Thank you." Heero whispered.

Shaken to his core Duo crushed Heero to his chest, oblivious to the sticky mess he was getting all over himself again. Fuck, who cared about that? Not when he had feared he had nearly lost the one…... The one he loved.

"Heero, what happened?" Duo had to help Heero into a sitting position before she could reply.

"Memories, I was lost in memories."

"Heero's 'old' memories?" Heero put a hand to her forehead, Gods but her head was pounding.

"No,…my memories, those of my other life. I-I've been trying not to think about it. Suppressing then,"

"Jesus, Hee-chan…..Crap, your head hurts doesn't it? Hold on I'll get your pain meds." Running into the kitchen Duo grabbed a glass of water and the bottle of pain meds, on his way back he also picked up the now cooling washcloth. Shaking out 2 of the pills he handed them along with the glass of water to Heero.

"Here take these and I'll get us cleaned up," Hands still shaking slightly Heero took the meds and quickly downed them with the water. Meanwhile Duo wiped off Heero and himself of the now drying sticky white semen.

'A-ah shit, that's cold Duo…..Damn, these meds are going to knock me out. And here I was kinda hoping we could play some more tonight. I'm sorry Koi." Duo grinned wryly at that.

"Hee-chan, we got our whole lives for 'that'. I'm not that greedy…. Well okay, when it comes to you maybe I am. But you're way more important to me than just 'that'. …So um, what triggered it? I mean, it, ah, wasn't because we ah, well…."

"What? Oh NO Koi, it wasn't 'that'. Trust me, 'that' was awesome. It was the stupid Orange carpeting that did it."

"The orange carpeting?"

"Yeah, you see 'he' (that other you), had almost the exact same ugly orange carpeting in his house. Something about it brought everything back with a vengeance."

"Huh, I see…..So why have you been suppressing the memories of your other life?"

"I, well, I was doing it for you, well everybody really, even myself. I was just trying to live only as 'Heero'."

Duo took a deep breath, then getting a very serious look on his normally smiling face he crawled around until he was kneeling in front of Heero. Then he took the now weary face of the Japanese male into his hands forcing the cobalt gaze to meet his violet one.

"Listen to me Hee-chan….Those memories, the memories of you being Lisa, and the life you lived are Important, that life is what made you, YOU. It allowed you to come here, to bond with me and be my Hee-chan."

"Oh Duo….Koi. I…"

"Come on Hotstuff, let's get you to bed before we end up sleeping on this hideous carpeting."

Heero managed a weak chuckle as Duo helped her to her feet, and then down the hall to the bedroom. Duo kept one arm wrapped around Heero's waist while with the other he pulled back the covers on the bed. Once done, Duo then helped Heero slide in between the sheets before crawling in himself. Heero pulled the slender braided male to her, and they wrapped their arms around each other and snuggled into the pillows and covers. Duo held onto Heero tightly.

"Hee-chan, have you cried yet?" In Duo's arms Heero stiffened slightly.

"Wha-what do you mean?"

"Over the death of that 'other' me. The one you said died barely 2 weeks before you woke up here." The warm body Duo was holding trembled, and when he spoke that tremor was in his voice as well.

"I-I wasn't ready yet before I died, it was still so raw and new. Then suddenly I was here, and, and there was 'You'….. I didn't w-want those old feelings to interfere with that, with us. So I pushed them away." Duo could hear the tears in Heero's voice, they were just waiting to be released.

"S'alright Hee-chan, cry. Let it out, I'll keep you safe. I promise." A strangled sound was the beginning, as Heero finally let go. Heart wrenching sobs tore from the masculine throat as she first grieved for and then let go of the one she had once loved more than life itself in her past life. Forgotten? No, never. But no longer would she be dragged down by her grief and guilt as she had earlier that night. The tears cleansing her heart and soul, as she cried them out on the shoulder of her bondmate.

All the while Duo held her, and soothed her, wrapping her in his loving embrace. Eventually both males, exhausted from the day events fell asleep wrapped tightly together. Their bond even stronger than before. Stronger than it had ever been, even in that other life.

SYN: Yep I know this one is a little short but it seemed like a natural stopping point for this chapter.