Penny For Your Thoughts

by kingburu

Atemu is the Pharaoh of Egypt, devoted only to his people and the essence of his Millennium Pendant. Yugi is a lone spirit, trapped in the Millennium Puzzle knowing nothing but his name. Once they cross paths, they find it hard to separate. YxA. Yaoi.

18. Shall My Life

Link – they. Finally. Got there. You have no idea how utterly proud I am of them right now. Enjoy the next chapter! :D

Chapter XVIII: Anymore Shall My Life You Will Ever Affect

Atemu was extremely warm.

I forgot how warm he could be, from the last time we were lying next to each other. Wait, it'd been three times now, hasn't it? We've slept together three times, by technicality. How many times has he held me close, kissed me? It brought me back to the night so long ago, when we were first forgiving each other and making amends. He and I really were bad at this; this whole…relationship thing. They said that two completely different people could have no interest in each other whatsoever, or add spice to their relationship. Then again, two people who have everything in common were dull, or really complete.

Was it possible for two people to be really alike, but also very different? He and I worried over the same things, but for different reasons. Where he would go left, I would go right, but once we got to the same finish line, that was it. We were both going different ways to get to the same point.

Atemu…Atemu was avoiding me because he wanted what was best for me. Although it took me a bit of time to realize it, I was following him because I thought that was best for me. He thought I would be happier with Yami. I know I'll be happiest with Atemu.

Cuddling closer to him, it hit me. He…he was my lover now. At that thought, my eyes fluttered open, nose pressed against the center of his chest, and I could actually feel his heartbeat. Strong. Warm. His arm covered most of the small of my back, and our legs were intertwined. I shivered as soft friction rubbed my groin against his thigh, but it was also really cold. Looking up, the dusk of night greeted me. The blanket that covered most of Atemu's bed was now wadded up and in a knot between our legs.

It was really cold. Despite how perfect it seemed with my body against Atemu's, the other parts of me was shivering. His body was used to the desert weather, and by now I should have been too. Isis, being the mother she was, would always have me under seven or eight blankets at a time during the night. Closing my eyes, I remembered every sunset being curled into a ball, where the door would immediately open, soft footsteps at the ground.

It was enough to make my consciousness linger, wait for something to happen, and then I would be attacked with a pile of sheets once the sun went down. Every time I would wake up, though, the covers would be gone and I was left in the blazing sun, slicked in special oil to protect me from burning, and barely covered.

She really was great. Smiling a little bit, lips pressed against Atemu's chest, my hands ran up his sides before hugging him. Isis has helped me a lot. Everyone has. It was…weird, really, to know how well I seemed to get along with them. Everybody was nice. Even Seth, who'd hated my guts ever since my existence was revealed. I liked Seth. He was nice. Ish.

Pulling away from Atemu for a second, I pushed off the bed and winced. Pain shot through my spine, lingering for a moment. I bent over, testing the waters yet again and was met with the same results. Although aching and weird, it wasn't excruciating. I winced again, swaying my hips from one side to another. All the while, something was sliding down my leg. Cold liquid oozed from…f-from th-there. Atemu and I had had sex last night.

We made love.

All assortments of red radiated from my cheeks. Squeaking, I tensed again, and real pain shot up my backside. After cringing for the umpteenth time, I bent over, undoing the wad between us. Atemu shivered. I halted.

There was no sign of stirring. Atemu stayed there, one hand wrapped around my waist, and before I had the chance to think, he curled around the gap I'd made between him and the empty pillow. His face buried deep into my lower back, and hand squeezed my waist. Heat danced around my face again, the night's air long becoming forgotten. He and I made love. We were lovers now.

So…what was I feeling? Embarrassment? Shame? Paranoia? Not at all. M-Maybe a little embarrassment, but nothing extreme.

"How on earth do you bend that way?" I whispered softly, almost falling over and out of the bed. Even in his sleep, he was protecting me. Atemu's large hand squeezed my hipbone tightly, not intimidated by my plumage. Twisting what I could of my body (because the silly little pharaoh wouldn't let go), logic stupidly told me to pick up the Millennium Puzzle. Done.

It looped around my neck, shining delicately against my chest and almost felt really heavy. Next, my attention turned back to Atemu. He showed no sign of waking up anytime soon. Good. He needed the sleep. Turning ever so slightly, I pushed him off the spot he'd stolen. Through his subconscious, he must have noticed, and rolled to his side, leaving part of the bed for me. I laid my head in the pillow, only staring at him. Cocoa skin, so silky and smooth. I'd once said before that it was the only body I ever knew to glow in the Egyptian sunlight and was willing to stay by that statement.

My fingers spoke before I had a chance to utter my own thoughts, softly drawing circles in his bicep. He shivered and I smiled. Deciding I liked that reaction, I ventured further, hand dipping into his inner forearm. It slowly crept onto his side, grazing many dents and scars. I propped myself on the elbow, watching as Atemu softly moaned and dipped his head back, content. He liked swordplay.

Atemu was bold and abrasive. It was one of the first signs of his growth at the age of thirteen, when he first wanted to learn swordplay. I grimaced a bit, muscles suddenly aching at the memory. His first year of ruling hadn't come easy for him. I think it was the only time, really, that I would constantly come out to help him. In later years, his own conscious pushed me away, certain he could handle things on his own even if he didn't tell me.

At the age of twelve, I probably came out even half the time of that because he could rule delicately. Twelve was a good year for him. At thirteen…his confidence had risen dramatically. It was probably the time his pride had bloomed, and he was determined to step out of his father's shadow. Then a prince from a distant kingdom, five years his senior, was envious of how solidly Atemu could rule. Atemu took the bait once challenged, and failed to prove himself. Instantly, he locked himself up with…both Mahado and Seth, I think. Then demanded that they taught him the way of the sword.

Once it resulted in many bruises, he was determined to defeat Mana. Mahado and Isis begged he didn't. The long scar across his collar bone—one he instinctively hid with his golden collar without even realizing it—was proof that he didn't need me. He'd gotten it during his rematch with the haughty prince, and although I wanted so desperately to switch out with him since I was stronger and bigger, his mind forced me away. He'd…he'd locked me in my soul room, actually, and all the while had no idea that he did it.

That scar was proof that he didn't need me. My hand ran across it slowly, light feathery touches to the piled mesh of skin that'd left the wound. Almost immediately, Atemu shivered, tossing his head to the right and out of view. His body was really sensitive. I bit my lip, hand traveling further, palm memorized by the bumps of his abs, or the groove of his chest. His heart beat slowly, but strongly.

Ba-thump, ba-thump.

A smile spread across my face. Though he didn't need me in that instant, I think it was the day after where he was panicking over that. What had I done, anyway, to calm his worries? His standing up to me was inevitable. We both realized it, even if we weren't speaking to each other at the time. Clumsily, my hand grazed his chest. Atemu caught his breath, softly moaning and snoring. Oh, wowzers.

Feeling a bit braver, I placed the same hand on his flat stomach, following the motion as it expanded and retracted. I sat up, eyes on my little pharaoh, and ignored the pain shooting up my spine again. Moving upward yet again, my fingers bumped into a nipple that'd been stiffened by the cold. I recoiled, caught off guard and watched him shiver again.

Red scattered across my cheeks. It wasn't shame or paranoia. For the longest time while I sat here naked against the cold air, I couldn't feel any shame or paranoia. Come…come to think of it, Yami hadn't even crossed my mind until just now. I couldn't do this with Yami. Hand on his pecks, I squeezed his upper torso tightly and he hummed in pleasure. I wouldn't be willing to make love with Yami the same way I could with Atemu.

He was incredibly adorable. Atemu writhed again, lips slowly parting. I…I wonder…even though he and I consummated our relationship for the first time…earlier this morning? What would it have been like, if I…were to…t-top him?

Ah, never mind. I mean, we could just…no, n-never mind. Nervously laughing I tore away and shook my head. I pushed his hand off of my waist, slowly sliding out of bed to gather all of our clothes and felt the pain shoot through my spine yet again, more intense than the last. Heat flourished across my face and I immediately regretted slipping away from my source of warmth. But things had to be done.

Many things, actually. Collecting the clothes that'd been shed on the floor, I pulled my boxers back on. That covered task number one. Task number two, on the other hand…

I bit my lip. Mind slowly racing to other thoughts, my fingers wrapped around the pendant delicately and shut my eyes.

This morning came rolling back to me. A little bit of the night before, too. I was…having a panic attack. Freaking out because Atemu wasn't here and neither was Yami. Neither of them could protect me, and then something happened. He said I kissed him. I wasn't so sure. Maybe I did.

Eyes opening, my gaze was met with an empty corridor of my soul room. Desolate and isolated, no one was in here. Every room was small, I reminded myself. They could only hold a few people, but not many. You would have to travel from door to door, and unless you really knew your way around or had common sense, you'd be driven crazy. The doors looped, actually, and always brought me back to the same place.

Years of studying let me know what I was doing and where I was going. Fully clothed, aches and bruises left behind, and determination nervously forming in the pit of my stomach, I tested this theory of knowing where I was.

How many times have I treaded these halls, having no idea who I was? How many times was I close to knowing, or thought I was close? How many times was I sure of it? Once.

I closed my eyes, relying on instinct on each twist and turn to a new door rather than sight. Life with Atemu was nothing. I'd finally caught a glimpse at that, and never again would I take these feelings for granted. That being said, it was no surprise when my hand bumped into the Eye of Horus that was engraved on one of the sacred rooms in my soul room.

"Hi, door." No, really. Not a surprise at all. Defeated, I looked to the grungy old thing, many thoughts running through my head. I plopped onto the floor, staring back at the Eye of Horus, and watched as it glowed. "I'm not ready to open you."

How stupid was it that I was actually talking to a door?

"I just want to talk to you." Mumbling the words quietly and steadily, my hand slowly turned, resting at the small of my back as I cast a glance to the ground. This actually hadn't been one of my plans. But I'm glad it happened. "I don't think I'll ever be ready to open you, actually."

The shackles around it were gone. I didn't notice it from my last visit, but all of it was gone, left as nothing but a beaten up door easily open by anyone. I, on the other hand, rather to keep it closed. Running a smooth hand down its wooden frame, I pressed my forehead to it and shut my eyes.

"I'm not going back." My fingers traced the carpeted floor, head suddenly tingling with so many thoughts and shrouded by a dark, soothing aura. "For the longest time you've been here, locked and shackled. I don't remember. I don't know if you were here from the beginning, or while I tried helping my pharaoh that you just appeared."

I looked at it, transfixed with the Eye of Horus yet again. Memories flashed through my mind, all of helping and securing Atemu. As expected, Yami immediately flashed through my thoughts. "Shada…Shada thinks that you're a door for Atemu. But you're not, are you?" Shutting my eyes again, I succumbed to the cool scent of Egyptian spices. It was familiar to what I'd woken up to just a few minutes ago. It smelled like Atemu. But it wasn't. It was Yami.

"I don't want to know the truth," I decided. I had so many hunches and questions, but they could wait. Instead, my hand disappeared from it and I backed away, images of Atemu and Yami flickering through my mind. "I like my life now. I don't care if I liked my life better when I was with Yami. I like it the way it is now. And…and to me…that is better."

It was ten times better. Before today I always wandered around, clueless to the world around me. I didn't have boundaries. I could talk, say whatever I want, and feel no guilt because I didn't know what was right or wrong. I may have been Yugi Mutou, some boy from the future, but now I was just…Yugi. 'Mutou' didn't have an actual meaning here. And I'd resolved my troubles with Atemu. I didn't have to leave.

Did I?

…I didn't. I mean, I had to but—I didn't. Shaking my head furiously, I stood up from where I was and stared at the door. "Is that okay?"

It didn't say anything back. But that was okay. I was speaking to a door, not a genie.

I pulled away from the door, only to hear a clumsy grunt followed by cluttered sounds. Immediately whirling around, only one person came into view. Silent Magician. His large eyes widened in fear and he scuttled back, utterly terrified.

"Silent Magician," I breathed, softly falling to my knees. I crawled over to him, only for Silent Magicain to scurry back.

"I'm sorry!" He squeaked.

"What…?"

"I'm sorry!" He reduced to whimpers, tears slowly cascading down his cheeks. Silent Magician's hands choked his glaive, and he ducked his head in shame. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm—I'm so sorry!"

"Silent Magician—Silent Magician!" Pulling him in my arms, it took the little one a while before he stopped flailing. I cringed, yelping as he accidentally punched me in the jaw, and cradled him tightly. "It's okay, Silent Magician! It's…it's okay!"

"I'm sorry!" He yelled at the top of his lungs again, and slapped me in the face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm—"

I put a hand over his mouth. Immediately standing up and gathering his weight, I rocked him back and forth, wryly staring at his form. Silent Magician looked at me, pausing from his tantrum for a second before bursting into tears. Aw. "It's okay," I murmured softly. "I'm…I'm sorry too."

Silent Magician sniffled. Shaking uncontrollably, he shoved his head into my arm and continued crying. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." Aw, shucks. Blinking away my own tears, I hugged him tightly and demanded for my soul room to take me to the bedroom. He plopped onto my bed, feet far away from the ground, and I knelt in front of him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Silent Magician sniffled and shook his head slowly. "I'm sorrier."

"You shouldn't be," I scolded lightly. Putting a hand on his head and petting his hair delicately, I moved to a crouching position and frowned a little. "I wasn't myself, Silent Magician."

"Wh-What…what do you mean?"

"I wasn't myself. I…I was heartbroken." Red flourished across my cheeks, and I looked to the ground for some stupid moral support. Scratching the back of my head, I suddenly remembered how tender Atemu was in bed. B-But it wasn't time to be thinking about that! I-I had to think about Silent Magician, and how I yelled at him!

"Heartbroken," he repeated softly. Silent Magician tugged on my sleeve and I yanked at his shoe. "Like the heart of the cards?"

Heart of the…what was that? Blinking, I looked at him for an explanation, but his curiosity was overtaken with a new alertness. He mumbled something under his breath and looked down to his dangling feet. "Heartbreak…it hurts." I put a hand on my chest and squeezed it tightly. "You guys have seen me so many times, incoherent and insecure. But it's only been recently."

"Oh." He nodded slowly. "Did someone have to fix your heart? Can I fix it?" His large eyes widened again and he tugged my arm. "I really wanna fix it. I don't want you to be sad, Master, I…can I fix it?"

"Atemu fixed it." I was talking to a child. Smile strewn across my lips, I sat on the bed beside him and clutched my chest. "It's weird. But hearts are weird too. We hardly talked and we got swept in the moment, but it feels like enough now. I…don't have any doubts. I'm not insecure. I'm not panicking about anything. I feel…"

I breathed, eyes shutting closed to concentrate solely on my own heart. "I feel complete." Yami didn't matter anymore. With Atemu, it was like…like I was killing two birds with one stone.

"How come I can't fix it?" he mumbled a bit begrudgingly.

"Because it's special. Really special." Leaning into him, I breathed in the scent of strawberries and blueberries. Silent Magician proceeded with poking my thigh. "Silent Magician, one day you're going to meet someone who makes you feel warm inside. They will be your sun."

"Does that mean Obnoxious Celtic Guardian is Silent Swordsman's sun?"

What? "What do you mean?"

"I saw them," he whispered. Silent Magician peered up from his hat, blue eyes gleaming with curiosity. He held his glaive close and gestured to the two figurines standing closely together on my shelf. "Silent Swordsman and me play a lot and he talks about Mister Celtic Guardian a lot and he gets really annoyed when Miss Zelda is mentioned and he gets this really big smile whenever Mister Celtic Guardian is talking to him."

They…did? "I never noticed." Blinking through my ignorance, I supposed he was right. Both had so much in common, and there were instances they would go away to spar. For it to blossom into something more than sportsmanship and friendship, however, was way over my head.

"I noticed," Silent Magician muttered. He leaned into me. "It's not that different with him, either."

"With…?"

"Master Yami."

"Oh."

"Whenever you were around him, you would always be really happy. It was the first time I met you, and all you thought about was him. I could sense it. And you would always be tired at school, because you spent all night just talking to him. Whenever you saw him talking to another girl, immediately your heart would plummet and you would get sad." Silent Magician buried his face into my arm. "You loved him a lot."

"I suppose I did." So that was the extent of our relationship. Looking down to Silent Magician, I stroked his hair softly and pulled him into a hug. "But I love Atemu now."

"You're more aggressive with Pharaoh Atemu." He smiled fully, like that explained everything. "I'm happy for you. And I'll be happy when Mister Celtic Guardian and Silent Swordsman get together, to—"

"Silent Magician." The voice cut through Silent Magician's like a sword. We turned around, met with the piercing gaze of Obnoxious Celtic Guardian, who sternly looked at him. Pink spread across his cheeks and he stepped forward, onto one knee. "It's very late at night. Your mother is getting worried."

"Oh. Okay." Silent Magician gave me a quick hug before sliding off the bed and into Celtic Guardian's arms. I stared at the both of them, amused, and laughed a little. Silent Magician kissed him on the nose goodnight before disappearing into a figurine next to Black Magician Girl.

"They really like it when you handle their siblings well. It's a good sign of a strong relationship." Arching an eyebrow, I smiled and watched the darkening pink spread across his cheeks. "When?"

"We were curious and…good night, Master Yugi." Obnoxious Celtic Guardian sighed a little, turning his face elsewhere. I darted from the bed, immediately tackling him to the ground and into a hug.

"Thank you for everything," I muttered as he hugged back. "Thank you for being my good luck charm."

He stiffened, and it took a second for him to fall into the hug. Finally, Celtic Guardian returned my gesture, tightly pulling me into a better embrace. "I am very proud of you, young one."

"Right." He kissed me gently on the forehead before materializing into a figurine between my fingers. I placed it next to Silent Swordsman, as they were. My gaze suddenly halted, landing on the only figurine caped in purple, and I stared at him.

The day I first met him came flooding back like a whirlwind of trouble. Kuriboh and he were both my first figurines ever to be completed, but both were intricate. Over a thousand puzzle pieces made their frame, each similarly built, but different from the last. It was exactly one year after Atemu first became pharaoh. He was getting a grasp at things, and I forced myself to leave him be in order for him to solve things himself.

Black Magician was almost complete. I remembered that a lot of the pieces were purple, and it was really hard getting him completed. Not only did each piece have to fit together perfectly, but my interest in finishing him always wavered. I would always be busy with doing something else, and suddenly Mahado would come to view. Mahado was as he was now: calm and soothing. He helped Atemu with what I couldn't, and the sudden urge to complete the puzzle would consume me.

But at the moment, my concern was only on Atemu.

"Hi," I remembered saying. My voice was enthusiastic, and always hopeful about the future to come. Every day since I first set eyes on my soul room, my jobs were either to assist Atemu, or to occupy myself until I was needed to assist him. "Atemu's doing really well with his studies."

Setting a puzzle piece on an empty space, it fit perfectly. I leaned back, staring at all of the purple that once was gray. So many puzzles. The room overflowed with different piles. I never questioned the purpose. Anything other than completing them seemed ridiculous.

"He's still as rough as he is when I first met him." Smiling a little, my hand rested on the puzzle and paused. "But he's going to make a great ruler someday. I…I can't wait to see him, y'know? When he finally grows into that character, and becomes a man. W-Well, not a man, but rules Egypt without any needed help. He'll be strong."

There was an accent whenever I spoke Egyptian. At first I never really thought about it, but it seemed appropriate to mention.

"I wonder what kind of accent it is," I muttered softly. My hand dove for another puzzle piece and I clutched it tightly between my fingers. "I wonder…where I'm from, who I am, and what…what my purpose is." Was that it? Was my purpose to help Atemu, no matter what?

Putting the piece in place, I smiled a little and rested my chin in my arms. "I wanna know my name too. Shucks, maybe I'm just hallucinating, y'know? Maybe I really am the other Atemu. Just overthinking it a little."

Sometimes though…sometimes I just wish I knew who I was. Even if I was just Atemu, I wanted to know which part. What parts of Atemu did I represent, and how was I important to him? How important was I for the Gods to give me the gift of thought?

Oh, hey. The puzzle was complete now. My fingers grazed its smooth edges and took in its neatness. Glass blue eyes gleamed, and suddenly…it glowed. The entire puzzle was cleansed in a beautiful white light. I screamed, unable to comprehend what was happening before backing away. Falling onto my bottom, there was nowhere else to go, and I was met with a tall…a tall sorcerer. He was lean. Buff, but not entirely. His glaive stood as tall as he was, and the grim pull of his lips only contradicted the daring gleam in his eyes.

They looked around, curious and ready for battle, before they lowered and halted. On me.

"Hi," I said weakly. Please don't kill me, I really wanted to say.

The staff dropped from his hand. The daunting demeanor disappeared from his face and this man collapsed onto his knees, purple hair rising in a flurry. Before I knew it, he was holding me close. "Yugi. Oh, Yugi! Master, you're alright!"

Wh…what? "Let me go please," I said with a trembling tone. Pushing away from him but failing, the man secured me in his arms, and showed no signs of letting up anytime soon. "Let me go. Please."

But he was crying. He held on tighter before securing both hands on my arms and staring straight into my eyes. I looked away, chest tingling with so many sensations, but mind settling on only one thought: this sorcerer was known as the Black Magician. "Yugi," he whispered.

"Why are you calling me that?" I shook his arm off, nervously picking at my elbow. Game. Yugi meant 'game,' but I didn't know in what language. Certainly it wasn't Egyptian though.

"Because that's your name," he said steadily. Black Magician stared at me, eyes doubling in size as he clenched onto me tighter. I shook my head. "And you are my master. We've known each other ever since your grandfather gave me to you."

"Nonsense." Shaking my head, I shrugged him off and stared at him. "How do you know Egyptian?"

"Egyptian? Well…I…Master Yugi," he said in surprise, "I'm not speaking in Egyptian."

"You're kidding," I retorted flatly, eyebrow raised. "Then what would you be speaking? Why do you keep calling me a 'game'? Who…who are you?"

He ignored my questions. Black Magician fell to his knees and at eyelevel with me, eyebrows contorted in disbelief. He placed a hand on my forehead and another at the small of my back. "You've lost your memory."

"What do you mean?" A small smile spread across my face and I slowly shook my head. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Master Yugi! Your name is Yugi Mutou, and you are seventeen years old." He clung desperately to my blazer, eyes connecting with mine. A frown fell across his face, bemused and terrified. "You live in the twenty-first century, and your first love was Anzu Mazaki. You are…you…oh, by Ra." He breathed, tightening his grip on my arm.

"I'm sorry." I brushed him away, gaze ducking to the floor. "But I don't know who you are."

"Yes, but…" He cradled my face, securing a grasp that showed this time he wouldn't let go. "I know who you are. I know…I know everything about you, Master Yugi."

"How can you?"

"I…I was your favorite." The sorcerer looked close to having a breakdown. He smiled through his insecurity, hand coiled so tightly around my jaw that it felt as if it'd snap between his fingers. "I helped you out, no matter what. My sole job was to protect you, and that I did. I've watched you grow from the shy little boy who lacked the courage to speak to the strong-hearted, stubborn young man I see before me."

Oh, wowzers. I blinked through the tears that were forming in my eyes. Even if I didn't know him, it seemed like I was comfortable around him. My heart beat comfortably, unscathed by the new man who approached me. "I'm sorry, I don't remember you."

"How long have you been like this?" Black Magician knelt on the ground, small smile spread across his face.

"I think…a year now. Yeah. Exactly a year and a day." My hand awkwardly found a place on my arm.

"Yugi…oh, Yugi." Black Magician's demeanor fell. He held his head in his hand, muttering words I couldn't understand, and refused to look at me in the face. I stared at him, waiting for a proper response, but it never came

Something in me broke, I think. One foot in front of the other, I slowly made my way toward his form and placed a hand on his shoulder. Feeling even more daring, I wrapped myself tentatively around him. "It'll be alright."

Black Magician hugged me back. "Oh, Master…I've missed you."

"I've missed you too…I think."

"I am never going to let you leave my sight ever again, Master Yugi." Pushing me away, Black Magician secured me in front of him, eyebrows furrowed. "From now on, I will always protect you."

"I…I…okay." Breathing, my thoughts went back to that name. Yugi. My entire body tingled at the name, sudden memories flashing back, but not strong enough to stay. That was me. I was Yugi Mutou.

"Yugi."

"Huh?" Tearing away from that same memory, I blinked. The figurine that rested on my shelf was now gone, replaced with the real thing. Black Magician knelt before me, smile plastered across his languid lips, and chuckled.

"You've been standing there and staring at me for quite some time now. I figure it would do you some good if I were to materialize in front of you." His smile turned more hopeful. Knowing what he wanted, I ran up and pulled him into an embrace. Black Magician would forever and always be too tall for me to reach.

"I'm sorry I got so frustrated at you. All of you." Hugging him tighter, I buried my face into his shoulder and stumbled at the tips of my toes. Even when he was kneeling, I had to stand at the tip of my toes in order to hug him.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" Blunt and to the point. The smile on my face lowered, pressing to his neck as a small frown.

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "I love him."

"You always have a place here to come back to." Black Magician pulled away. Looking him the eye, I could see so many emotions. He was happy for me, but he was also very confused. He always gave me that look while growing up.

I hugged him again, smile spread across my face. "I'll be fine."

"So what does this mean of the life of Yugi Mutou?"

I blinked a little, thought running through my head. Shrugging, I backed off with one hand clasped around the Millennium Puzzle. "It means Yugi Mutou finally found a purpose in life."

theotherme.

It was far from dawn when I got back. The moon was low in the sky, ready to succumb to the greatness of Ra, but there wasn't a sign of life in Atemu's chambers. I looked around, exhaustion suddenly becoming my enemy, and ventured deep into his bedroom. No one was there. How funny. Looking around again, I noted the fact there weren't any clothes scattered around the floor. The bed was made and the entire place was as clean as the palace.

So, scratch that. Maybe time did go by. Scratching my head, I tried to find Atemu again. Pain lingered from the morning before, and I grimaced with each step I took forward.

On the bed was a plate of food. Rice and a turkey leg. Huh. Did Atemu leave it here for me? It was likely… I gulped down the glass of water also with the food and made myself comfy. There was no light aside from the stars. Shrugging the blazer off my shoulders, I sat there in silence with nothing to comfort me but my soft chewing.

Finally, the door opened. The plate clumsily dropped from my lap, landing on the ground with a hissing shatter, but my eyes focused on only one person. "Atemu?"

He stared at me under the candle in his hands, stunned. Atemu's gaze stayed tentative as he came into the room. "You're back."

"How long was I gone—"

"Do you remember anything—"

"From last night? Yes, I do." We stared at each other, the sudden conversation so crisp that neither had time to register what was really happening. I blinked a few times, looking at my new love and realized the uneasiness spread delicately across his demeanor. "I think we need to have a talk."

Probably a bad choice of words. Atemu bit his lip, hand running through his hair. "Little one…"

"You're not in trouble," I immediately said. Pulling him to the bed, I sat him down and stood parallel in front of him. Red skidded across my cheeks and I crossed my arms, trying to look tough but failing. "Far from it."

"Yesterday morning you were uneasy." His eyes narrowed, gaze settling on my essence as he leaned over and clasped his hands over his mouth. Atemu ducked over, sigh escaping his lips like he was giving up. "You were mumbling, incoherent, and we got caught up in the moment."

"But I wasn't hallucinating," I cut in. "I remember every single word you, Atemu, said to me. You told me you loved me."

Atemu tensed. He looked away, anywhere but my face, and curled his hands. "And?"

"I love you too." He softened a bit, as if he didn't see that coming. Smiling a bit, I leaned over, hand on his lap. Putting the other on his face, I stared at it tentatively, and kissed him on the nose. "I've always loved you."

He grunted a little, unsure, and placed a hand over mine. "'Twas the breaking point when I left."

"What do you mean?" I arched an eyebrow.

Grimacing, Atemu's eyes fell to the ground and he sighed. "You have these…fits, little one. I assume 'tis different from what you are used to, and afterward you wake up remembering nothing. I have always been the trigger for it. Every single one of your memories, and...as what has been shown, you'd rather I not worry about them."

Oh. Realizing my own flaws, I let go of my hold and awkwardly rubbed my arm. It was possible, after all. Whenever I was a spirit, memories coming back, they would take over me and I would have to stay in bed or busy myself until they stopped. Considering the chunks of memory I didn't remember of my daily life, I'd probably collapsed from delirium. That was something to be worried about, obviously.

He touched a finger to my cheek, raising my head until I was met with his warm, but restrained. "You yourself have said that you alone are my protector. And I wanted to respect that. So in order for you continue to isolate yourself, I suppose I did the same."

"You 'suppose,'" I replied wryly. That being said, I could only frown, gaze lowered. I was finally getting an explanation for why he left me. And I wanted to hear it.

"It wasn't my best choice," he quickly said, picking up on my irritation. Atemu's eyes widened, alarmed, but I only nodded so he could continue. He sighed a little, hand running through his hair, before leaning back and propping himself on one hand. "I should have realized the farther I was away from you, the more I seemed to take you for granted."

"What?" I blinked. That wasn't part of our conversation.

"We've never been far away from each other, even when I was a child." He stared at me with a hidden intent, and I nodded. "Back then I was barely aware of your presence, but as adulthood slowly crept up on me, my father's priests advised I picked out a wife."

"I remember that." Nodding again, I crossed my arms. "They wanted you to find someone with the potential to be the Royal Wife, and you actually…went around asking about it." He was more of an analytical thinker than his impulsion gave him credit for. Atemu was the type of person who gave thought to everything he did regarding an important decision. I probably was more impulsive than he was, really. Everything I did was motivated by keeping him safe, even if it ended with disastrous results.

"My father lacked other lovers. A handful at best." Atemu's eyes narrowed into mine. "So I grew up without very many. Everything I heard of my mother was pleasant, and during that year I recently turned twelve. I was paranoid. So far my rule as the King of Egypt proved to be a failure, and choosing a failure as a wife was not an option. So I asked Isis."

His look hardened, but it seemed as though he couldn't keep himself from smiling. Good. Atemu chuckled a little before looking away. He pressed a hand to his lip, leaning over and I could barely make out the red scattered across his cheeks. "She disapproved of their nagging me at such a young age, but knew it had to be done. She insisted that I looked around the palace and find what this love was like. She described it as warmth and security. Find who makes you feel safe."

This I didn't remember. Sure, Atemu was struggling and overwhelmed by the work, but all I recalled was backing off. This was the type of thing Atemu had to handle himself. I had no personal control over who he chose as a wife.

"I never understood it. At such a young age, I thought that many people made me feel warm and secure. I suppose…I suppose it was one night when boyhood fled away and manhood tempted me." He blinked, staring at me like it was a casual thing. Manhood tempting him. Red exploded across my cheeks. H-He d-didn't mean…did he? "I dreamt of you."

I held the wall in security. My legs almost gave out, and I stared at him. He started his explanation.

"'Twas an anomaly," Atemu continued. He looked at me, hopeful that I wouldn't suddenly faint, and I told him to continue. "While I did seem to have a sexual desire for the many girls around me—being only the age of twelve, remember, it was but a guilty pleasure. Mana a few times, certainly Isis, and the many women who lurked the halls. Yet with you…yes, with you, it was warm.

"I began to contemplate it. My thoughts would always return to that one source: you. And the more your image returned to my mind, I suppose I unconsciously found the warmth and security I so desperately sought. But again, I was twelve. All of that spawned from a sexual desire.

"Until I began my own relief methods and you were separated from me, I hadn't realized the unhealthy attachment I'd developed with you. I'd always been curious of who you were. Once you were unveiled before my eyes, more instincts than I was aware of stirred.

"Jealousy, hate, greed. All of them did I experience when I saw you with someone such as Mana or another woman, and I grew weak without you. But seeing you smile…By Ra." Atemu shut his eyes, one hand in his hair as the feverish blush dominated most of his face. "The more it pulled me further. It became a guilty pleasure thinking of you in such a way because I wanted more to you than just your body. And I still do. I am horrible at this game, little one. I cannot love someone to save my life."

"Then I'll teach you." He'd been rambling for so long now. I couldn't help the smile spread across my face, the same one that he said drew him closer. Sitting across from him in the bed, I laughed a little bit and shook my head. "We can be screw ups together, Atemu."

He laughed. "Why on earth would you trust me after all I've done to you?"

"I've done worse to you." Sighing, I leaned into him and rested my ear on the edge of his shoulder. "I hate it."

"Pardon?"

"I hate it," I repeated. "I hate it when you get cocky. I hate it when you…when you jump the gun for your decisions, or get impatient, but I know it's just your personality. I…I hate it when you sleep with other women. I disapproved of it, and I shouldn't have, because I really wanted to just be a mentor for you. Not…fall in love." I pouted. "Your cuteness is what got to me."

"My cuteness?" Atemu raised both eyebrows until they were behind his head. Tossing both hands into the air, he shouted, "have you seen yourself? How large those eyes appear or how petite you seem? Little one, you frighten enough people with your appearance that my entire army would be at your mercy."

"That's a lot of men."

"'tis!"

He joined me in laughter. Comfortable, easy laughter as he laced his hand around mine. Smirking as he got distracted, I pushed him against the bed and forced his back to the pillow. Atemu yelped in surprise and I straddled his waist.

"Say uncle!"

"Why on earth would I mention Akhenadin in bed?"

"Because!" Grinning from cheek-to-cheek, I tickled his ribs and waited for him to ignite with laughter. Never came. Instead, I sat there on his waist, staring at the man I was willing to spend the rest of my life with, and he was smirking. Hmph! The mutiny!

"I am not ticklish, little one."

I stared at him. And stared, and stared. Eventually, he gave me a curious look, concerned, and cupped my cheeks between his large hands. I slapped it away before slowly lowering myself and pressing a kiss to his lips.

Atemu took it without protest, hand sliding down until it was at the small of my back, and hummed in my mouth. We pulled away briefly and paused, still in a no-blink war as his hand traveled further until his fingers were at the hem of my pants. "So what is going to happen?"

"I'm going to stay," I murmured. Fixated with the collar of his tunic, I slowly ripped it off and let it hit the ground with an obnoxious CLANK! My fingers traced the scar on his neck, and he shivered. "We can have a little family if you want."

He snorted. "Would Mana be our daughter?"

"Well, I approve of her choice for a husband." My hand worked through the cloth, squeezing through cotton for the sensation of flesh, and he moaned. "Isis would be a good Godmother and…Seth would make an excellent gardener…"

"You've certainly put a lot of thought into this." He moaned again, and my hand reached down his tunic until it found his chest. His heart was beating fast, warm as the color of his eyes.

"You were gone for almost a month. I put a lot of thought in a lot of things."

Atemu tensed and looked away, guilty.

Oops. Wrong thing to say. Cupping his face, I kissed him before tossing our positions and toppling over until he was the one on top of me. He pulled away from our embrace, surprised, and I smiled. "I thought about how much I love you."

His lips broke into the most handsome grin I'd ever seen before they were pressed to the crook of my neck. "I love you too."

"So…could I top?"

He tensed again. Laughing, I shut my eyes, reached up to press my nose against his. We breathed the same air, touched the same bed, and melted into the same sweat. Two thoughts ran through my head: how much I loved the man on top of me right now, and how I wanted him to have his way with me as soon as possible. Without another word, I tossed my blazer across the room and kissed him.

"Just kidding."

For now.

Author's Note:

So did you know that when I transition my stories, I use a dash? Did you know FF also took them away? I lucked out big time with the transitioning of this story, man. I'm so happy for it. :D Well, sorry for the long while. I've been busy so I haven't been able to update as often as I'd like. But now, school is over and I am happy. Ish. The next chapter is actually about less than a thousand words, and then…well, part one's done. I know, right? Four months and part one's done. That's…epic right there. Anyway, I hope you read and review!