Here's the second part, featuring the actual break up between Lois and Clark. I haven't said anything about the real reason Clark has to go away, but it will all be clarified in the next chapter. Thanks for reading, I can't believe there are actually people still reading this. Really appreciate that.
Chapter 4: Break Up (part2).
Lois opened the door finding her boyfriend on the other side, wearing a really stone hard, serious expression. He had been acting weird for the last couple of days; well, weird for his standards anyway. It almost looked like he was purposefully avoiding her, but now he was standing right in front of her, and it took her by surprise.
"Wow, Smallville, I never expected you to show up today, seeing as you have been avoiding me like the plague." Clark never expected Lois to notice the change, but now she was as straightforward as always, of course she would never play dumb with things like that.
"Hi Lo, It's not that I've been avoiding you, it's just I've had a lot on my mind lately." He had gone to see her, after harnessing all of his will power to do what he had to do, but face to face, it was proving to be a lot more difficult that he had foreseen.
He gave a very short kiss on the lips, like he was trying to get over with it quickly, but Lois noticed something was wrong. Clark never greeted her like that, it felt like kissing a stone. She stepped inside her apartment, followed by Clark who closed the door behind him.
"You have decorated your apartment very nice Lois." Clark was trying to make small talk, delaying his true intentions. But Lois wasn't up for stalling B.S. "Yeah Clark, it is exactly like it was the last time you were here. In fact, it's just the way we both decorated it. If memory serves, you even helped me bringing some stuff in your truck."
Lois walked up to where Clark was standing, trying to bring him to look her in the eyes, but he walked towards the window and started looking outside. The view you could get from a 25th floor was really something.
"Smallville, I've told you. You have a terrible poker face, I know you're up to something. Whatever you had come to say, just say it. Let's get it over with". Clark closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He wished he could tell her the truth, about everything. From Krypton to why he had to leave. But he had always wanted Lois out of all that. His secret had ruined lives before, and he couldn't stand and watch Lois' life suffer the consequences.
"You're right. We need to talk."
Lois walked to him and put one hand over his shoulder. "Is something wrong? You know you can tell me anything, right?" Clark put his hand in top of Lois' and turned around facing her. He couldn't help looking her in the eyes. For a couple seconds he allowed himself to get lost in that hazel orbs, but ending up looking down and putting some distance between them. Without being able to face her again, he started speaking.
"The thing is, Lois, last days I've been thinking, a lot. About us, I mean. And..." He knew he should do it fast, after all, it was all for the greater good, but it didn't help making it easier. "Look, I don't even know where to start, but I'm going to be as honest I can be, ok?"
Lois started to see where things were going, but she kept the hope that it was nothing more that Clark's typical brooding. "I'm all ears. Take your time."
A wave of memories started flooding his mind. "We have been together for more than a month, and for me, it has been awesome. I had high hopes, but you have more than met my expectations. When I was a kid, I never imagined I could meet somebody like you, and when I did, never even dreamed that you could ever be interested in me, romantically I mean. You never wasted any opportunity to let me know I was as far as possible from your type. And I was ok with that." Clark walked a little further when he felt that soon he would say the thing he could not take back. Lois didn't imagine why Clark was bringing up that kind of stuff.
"Something tells me you're not going down on one knee, are you?" Clark looked at her with a puzzled face, but ignored her attempt at humour.
"I know, and I've always known I'm not the kind of guy you hoped to end up with. I know exactly what I am, what I've always been. I'm just a farmer, farm boy, whatever you like to call it. A simple man with a simple purpose, a simple goal: spend my life working my parent's farm until I could pass it on to my children. I was happy that way."
Lois didn't agree with his vision of life. He could still be stuck at the farm if she hadn't given him the application for the Daily Planet. "I always thought you were made for more than spend..." But Clark cut her off.
"Please, let me finish. Lois". She hadn't seen him that serious in a long time. He was making an incredible effort keeping his stone face.
"You, on the other side, are the almost exact opposite. I've always seen you as an independent woman, full of passion, energy, expectations, wanting to be a successful reporter. You know you are meant to be side by side with a millionaire, a newspaper editor, or I don't know, maybe a super hero like the Blur. Someone who can give you anything you want, someone you can admire. Even that Graham psycho was a better match for you. I don't have that kind of personality, that kind of confidence, like Oliver. I'm just a shy country guy."
Clark felt like he was losing his cool, so he took another calming deep breath and walked up to where Lois was standing and cupped her face with one hand. Once he realized what he had done, he pulled away like his hand was burning and looked at her again. "Look at you. You are still young, beautiful, you have your whole life ahead, there are so many things you could achieve. You can still fight for your dreams. I want you to."
"Where are you going with all this? I'm getting tired of hearing you saying all this crap. Make your point already." Lois was starting to get pissed. She couldn't believe what was happening. After everything they had went through together, to find the moment to be on the same page and started something. After more than a year of mixed signals and misunderstandings. Now he wanted to throw it all away. Like it was nothing.
"What I'm trying to say is that... you don't have to settle. The last thing I want is to be some obstacle in your way to happiness. I know you can have everything you wish for."
"Well, at this moment you are being precisely that. Two days ago, I had a caring, wonderful boyfriend, whom I though was feeling the same way I do. I can see now how wrong I was."
Clark, once again, put more distance between them. Feeling her smell, her warmth, her presence intoxicating him. That was not the best thing at the moment. He needed to keep his head cool. He wasn't lying, not at all. He really felt that way, but he would have kept it all inside, but now...
"Here's the thing. You know I love you Lois, but after the time we had spent together as a couple made me realize I'm falling for you, hard. I really am. And I don't want to end up with another broken heart, because maybe in a year, a month, whenever it is; you are going to meet someone actually right for you, someone you are going to fall in love with. I don't want to be around when that happens. It would crush my heart. So, I guess it's better for the both of us to end things the best way we can."
"You expect as to go back to being friends. Is that what you want?" Clark nodded. He wanted to be a part of her life, even if they were not a couple anymore.
"This way, we mutually agree to end this and hopefully, we can be like we were before, just friends, like we were for five years Lo. Deep down you know we're going to end up hurting each other. It is already hard for me, please don't make it harder." Now she was mad. He was afraid. He was walking away from their relationship because he was a coward.
"Do you think you are the only one who's afraid? Don't you imagine that I can be just as scared, believing for the first time I've found the real deal?" Her eyes were glassy, filling with tears when she spoke.
"Come on, Lois. Don't fool yourself. Are you saying that this..." He signalled the space between them. "Is the real deal?" Clark made a pause before continuing. "That you look into the future and see yourself as a farmer's wife, living in a farm, baking pies and making lemonade? I know we have been good together, but you are failing to see the big picture here."
"How do you expect me to believe that you love me, when you act like this? Like this means nothing to you." He looked at her in the eyes and saw disappointment, anger, sadness. His voice was softer now, almost a whisper.
"For me, it has been a dream. But it could only last so much. And the time has come for me to open my eyes, wake up and face reality."
"Do you want to know what I think? I feel used. Like you wanted to know how it was with me, and after we slept together you got it out of your chest and you can move on. You're just like every other guy. And I was thinking you were the most honourable man, but now I really see you now just the way you are."
"How can you even think that?? You want to know the truth? I was starting to dream about you, you know. That we could go the distance, that you could be my wife, living on the farm with me." He gave her a mocking laugh. "Don't you see how ridiculous that sounds?"
"You know what? Do whatever you want, but let me tell you there will be no second chances, and you will have to live with your decision." Clark started walking towards the door. He would have supersped if he could do it in front of her. Every step away from her felt like the most wrong thing he had ever done. He wished he was just like any other guy, without the weigh of the world on his shoulders, but brooding wouldn't solve anything now, if he really wanted to save everyone he loved, he needed to act. Just when he reached the door, he turned around.
"I already made up my mind. I didn't come here to discuss it, I came to break up. I know you are a proud woman; it's one of the things I like about you, we can tell everyone that it was your idea, we discussed and we decided to end this, ok?"
"I couldn't care less about it. Think about it, because if you walk through that door, you can forget about everything. This is over."
"I know this is the best, and in time, you'll see that I was right. Goodbye Lo, see you around."
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