Disclaimer: I receive nothing from nothing.

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Ooer…it's dark.

Ugh. I just remembered what happened.

I am dead.

Darn.

And I can't do anything the help those I left back on Earth.

Wait….what is that smell?

It smells like….

AIR!

It tastes like air too.

Whooo! They haven't dumped my in the ground yet!

Hang on….if I'm not buried yet….and I feel no white sheet……and I can feel and breathe air………

I AM ALIVE! I'MALIVEI'MALIVEI'MALIVE!

I wanted to celebrate, but something had me pinned to the ground.

On top of that, I can't feel my legs!

I tried to take a deep breath of the cold air, but a heavy weight upon my chest stifled the elixir of life and I sputtered and coughed. I settled for sniffling in tidbits of air through my nose.

My eyes felt as if they had been replaced with cotton balls. I slowly cranked them open, and saw nothing but a blissful starry sky.

Wasn't I in a tent? Tents don't sprout legs and run off. That would make for some very unhappy campers.

I craned my neck and looked around. The spell had blown the tent to shreds, and the support beams must have fallen on top of us, including the one that is sprawled across my chest.

The body of Lucius Malfoy had fallen across my legs.

Erlack.

I have a dead person on top of me.

I quickly took an inventory of six bodies I could see from my spot, flat on the ground….Marauder, Ravenclaw and Slytherin alike.

Oh God.

I grunted and struggled to lift the beam off my chest but it was too heavy with not enough leverage from my pinned arms.

My womanly arms……

I glanced at a wisp of red hair on my shoulder.

Either my twelve hour spell is used up, or the spell was blasted right out of me.

How did I survive?

Why hasn't anyone gotten help yet?

Is that because I am the only one left?

I felt hot tears on my cheeks.

I groped my sides for a wand. There isn't one. I left my compact in the dorm.

So I did what any sensible person does in this situation:

"HEEEEELLLLLPPPPPPPP!"

Insert panic.

I must have screamed for hours. My throat burned and arched. My eyes felt burned and tired, and my cheeks felt stiff and wet. Instead of breathing, I could only sputter air in and out under the weight of the beam.

Someone will find us in the morning. Someone has to!

I just hope I can wait that long. To occupy my attentions until then, (and to keep from crying) I fascinated myself with a very small, furry ball moving through the grass.

Hammie! Oh good Hammie!

"Hammie! Go get help!" I commanded.

Let us pretend that I am not asking a hamster to bring the cavalry.

Hammie's nose wiggled, and then he was no longer Hammie.

Seventh year, greasy recluse Slytherin Severus Snape stood over me, with menacing, shiny black eyes. James and Sirius never especially liked Snape.

"A girl. At Hogwarts. I did not know brothels were still…." His eyes fell upon the school emblem on my robe. "Oh my…. Now this is something! A boy…who is really a girl….at Hogwarts." His eyes bore into my green ones. "What price will you pay for my silence, Lee Vanes?"

You sick son of a…..

I will deal with you personally later.

"Severus! You have to get help! I don't know who did it…but…Slytherin…Marauders" the wooden beam was becoming heavier as I saw Snape's eyes glisten cruelly. "There was green light, and I woke up here. They might be dead."

"Good riddance." He sneered.

"How can you be so evil! You are nothing but a slimey toe-rag. You have been born one, and you will die one unless you can prove you are not one! Please…HELP!"

He said nothing, but began pacing cockily through the disaster. A glimmer of hope sparkled in my chest, until he began reciting names.

"Lupin. Pettigrew. Longbottom. Black. Malfoy. Kovinsky. Nott. Diggory. Chang."

I didn't realize Diggory and the Changs were in the tent.

"Potter." He stood over the last body, and turned it over with his foot, as if it were nothing more than a rag doll. He kicked it.

"Don't you touch him!" I scolded.

"Imagine, Severus Snape delivers the body of the last living Potter heir to the Dark Lord. Imagine all the rewards I will get." Snape fantasized as he stood over the limp body of Potter.

"You will not take him anywhere." I corrected.

You probably are thinking what the hell is this girl going on about? Stubborn to the last drop.

"Are you going to stop me? Are you his little girlfriend?" Snape now stood over me.

Ignoring that last statement.

I gulped. "Please, help me out from under here and help me get the bodies to the school. I will do anything." I closed my eyes and waited for the impact of his answer.

"Anything?"

I took one last look at the massacre, and shut my eyes tight. "Yes."

"You are gifted in charms Vanes, no?"

"So I am told."

"I have decided on payment then."

"Your price?"

Long, bony fingers grasped his sleeve and lifted it. In plain sight was the Dark Mark.

I think I am going to die anyway.

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I re-awoke in a hospital bed.

I can feel my legs! Score!

White curtains were pulled around my bed, and I had been clothed in a very attractive hospital gown.

I was still a girl too. I could only imagine how attractive I looked, pale faced, nearly frostbitten, and probably bruised to infinity and beyond.

The curtains waved, and I saw a greasy nose peek between the curtains.

Impatient bugger Snape.

"This needs to be done as soon as possible. Hurry." He demanded.

If he gets any friendlier, I cannot be responsible for my actions.

"What if I were dying?"

"Don't be stupid. You are the healthiest out of them all."

"Of course a living person is healthier than a dead person!" I short spitefully.

"You will join the dead people if you don't hurry up! I do not have much time!" Snape clapped his hands for emphasis.

"Can't I mourn for them?"

"No!"

I snatched my wand, and muttered my changing spell. I was mortally embarrassed when I outgrew the smaller gown, and my bum-oley decided to hang out the back of my hospital gown.

Turn me into a cockroach now, before I decide to strangle myself with my pants and gain a fast pass into the next life.

Bugger, bollocks and sod!

"That is terrible." Snape speculated when he saw my flaunting back end.

"I will poke your eyes out if you don't stop staring." I snapped, and slipped into my pants lying on a nearby chair.

As we exited the hospital wing, I couldn't help but ask:

"Why are we doing this?" We walked in step; I couldn't help but wonder if it'd be possible for our brains to coordinate as well.

"I am tired of serving Voldemort."

"Can't you just tell him that?"

"Once you begin serving the Dark Lord, you cannot stop. I would be killed almost immediately, only after torture."

Barmy, that one is.

"Why did you join him if he does such terrible things?"

"I wanted to be feared…and popular."

I do not mean to be rude but,

WHAT?

The world is a loony bin.

"Well, that is a terrible way to gain attention."

"Shut up missy. Perform the charm, and then get out of my life."

"That will be hard to do considering I will be your secret-keeper!"

He turned sharply and seized me by the shoulders. "That won't be the worst thing, now would it? We stay away from each other; we don't speak of what happened. Your little friends have all been saved and the Dark Lord can't find me and kill me because you will not disclose my location to him…unless you die. It's a good trade."

"Except my friends are already dead!" I countered and sulked.

"Naïve girl. You think any seventh year could conjure a true killing curse? I think not. They're not ready."

"My friends aren't dead?"

My confused, and generally empty stare could give Potter a run for his money on the barmy levels.

"Unfortunately not."

I don't know what got into me, but at that moment, I hugged Snape.

Shudder.

"Get off of me!" He struggled under my grip. I released him, embarrassed, forgetting I was a boy.

"Why did you pick me as a secret keeper? Why not a teacher?"

"I would have asked another student but none are trustworthy enough, or would trust me. Teachers would send me to Azkaban, or completely distrust me."

"So you took advantage of me?"

"Yes. You are least likely to join the Dark Lord. I figured I could trust you. I watched you as a hamster for so long."

The tosser!

We arrived at an empty class room. "Let's get this Fidelis Charm over with."

I shut the doors behind us.

&&&&

A few days later…

ALIVE!

They are ALIVE! All of them.

Bruised, befuddled, and bewitched….but alive.

I've been allowed to return to classes unless I pursue strenuous activities. The rest of the lads are coming to in the hospital wing.

I have been grinning like a fool the entire day.

Know why?

After class, I am going to seek them out and strangle them with my bare hands, especially Potter.

He is not allowed to make me worry so much.

One might actually start to think I care about that ridiculous, charming boy.

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Short, sweet, and to the point. Look for another update soon! Thanks so much for all the reviews, and please keep commenting!