Disclaimer: Potter isn't mine…..or is he?

THE END IS NEAR!!!! (also meaning, this is the last chapter.)

I am being entirely serious when I say:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Boys are the most infuriating specimens in the world!

Oops, I did that out loud.

A score of girls came running to ensure my safety.

In reality, it was only Alice, but she tripped on the rug and made the clamour of 100 cows.

"Oh, and here I thought something happened. That would have been preferable to your sulking." Alice mumbled.

"Go away."

"You've been up here for two days. At least come outside! Fresh air does the body good!" Alice stretched and inhaled deeply for emphasis.

"No thank you." I spat.

"Oy, for the love of Merlin Lily. I told you this was going to happen, but you milked it for all it was worth. You can't have the best of both worlds. They don't care if you are sulking, and they are not coming to beg your forgiveness."

I pointedly glared at her, then began scribbling furiously in this book.

"You can't ignore me forever Lily!"

I bloody well can.

"Fine. If you want some advice, you didn't even put up a fight. I would have at least fought for him. " Alice threw her hands into the air and stormed out.

What is all this about, you ask?

It started with four words:

"I am Lee Vanes." I said.

Crickets. And one of those awkward pauses that happen when something really ridiculous happens and everyone decides to stare each other down until your eyes tear themselves out of their sockets.

"That's a good one Lily." James started forcing a laugh to the point where he was practically shooting his nose hairs out.

I laughed a bit. "It sounds funny doesn't it? But it's entirely true."

"You are telling me, that you have been with us this whole year disguised as a boy? Right." James said sarcastically.

"Hehehe! Yep! What a good joke! Except, I am not joking!"

"You aren't?"

"Unfortunately not."

"Are you out to exploit us? Was there something you wanted to know, because you could have just asked. Was it fun to lie to us, and was our obliviousness so amusing to you? Or, maybe you're with the paparazzi and you're getting money for taking undercover shots of us. How much are they paying you?" James spatted angrily. His voice cracked a few times, and more for emotional sake than puberty's sake.

"Don't be stupid, it's not like that mate." Sirius helped.

James laughed again, but eventually began drowning in realization. "You mean, you knew Sirius?" he started giggling, but it sounded more insane and mocking rather than jovialness. "You neglected to tell us all about this imposter."

"She's a good person James, and she had a decent reason for deceiving us. It wasn't malicious, believe me. I figured, if Dumbledore would keep this secret, then I would too." Sirius tried.

"Hey, Sirius. Lend me your face." James demanded, then socked Sirius in the chin. "You're the lowest jerk." He spat as Sirius nursed his bruised chin.

"James, that is ridiculous! He gets hit for something I did!? That makes no sense. If you'll let me explain…." I lightly touched his arm and he wrenched it away.

"Don't. It really doesn't matter who you are or what you have done, just get away from me. You are getting on my nerves. Leave!" James said with absolute disgust.

"The match is starting now." Remus whispered.

Sirius moved to gather his equipment, but James shoved him away from it. "I have more faith in a Slytherin to be honest than you. Both of you. Don't bother playing, we are stronger without you." James seethed.

The boys finished preparing, then left Sirius and I and the tent.

I suddenly found my shoes very interesting. Black patent leather really does shine up.

"I'm so sorry, I muttered. I didn't think it would come out this way, or that there would be anyone else to blame but me." Sirius looked at me curiously. "I really thought, that I could come here, do what I came to do, and leave without being noticed or any attachment. I never thought I would meet such a wonderful group of lads, whom I really liked and who included me no matter what." The tear ducts opened and my face was streaming with salt water.

"And because I like you all so much, I can't stand the thought of the Marauders breaking up over me." By now, Sirius had pulled me into a hug. "And so," I mumbled into his chest. "go to James, and ask what you can do to fix this. Whatever he asks, I'll do it, just as long as you don't loose your friendship. I can't imagine a world without the Marauders."

See, I told you I am a sap.

"Lily…."

"Don't say anything. Please, people told me it wasn't a good idea to keep this charade going. But I was too selfish and stubborn to give you up. I was selfish. I realized I'm the worst because of that." I sobbed loudly.

"We are the Marauders. We have endured evil, and you are most certainly not what is going to divide us. Don't worry about everyone else, I will look after you." He chuckled. "I don't think James will be able to hold out long. He was obsessed with you, you know."

Obsessed?

I suddenly had a mental image of the two of us committed to same retirement home when we become wrinkled prunes. I'd be hobbling away from him with my cane, and he would be chasing me down with his walker.

Sacre Bleu.

"James is from a rich and powerful family. Where he succeeds and no one else can, he also falls short where someone like you soars. I don't think James reacted how he wanted too, and he's too stubborn to admit wrong. He'll let it go until it consumes him, where you can at least admit the wrongs of your multiple personality disorder." My glazy eyes slowly strayed to Sirius', then I began giggling.

I don't have multiple personality disorder, do I?

All the voices in my head nagged 'Yes'.

"Can you do me a favor?" Sirius asked.

I nodded.

"Fly out onto the pitch with me. We need to join the game. We need to tell him we're not letting him get away."

"This time, I'll go as Lily." I resolved.

We changed, and marched onto the pitch. Sirius spoke with the referee about some farse story detailing why we were late. She called a time-out, and all the players froze in their spots.

I saw James' incredulous and disbelieving look as we soared to our positions at his height. He looked as if he were about to say something, but he seemed to stop whatever it was when I simply smiled at him.

"Let's finish this!" Cried the referee, and the players clashed again.

"I'm sorry that you are leaving so soon Miss Evans. We very much enjoyed your presence." Dumbledore said fondly as we stood on the outdoor terrace under the early morning twilight. "Was there something in particular about the school that dissatisfied you?" His eyes seemed to twinkle with knowing.

"On the contrary; I liked them…it…too much to keep up my charade." I said through watery eyes, and a sobbing smile.

"After that victory over Durmstrang, the Quidditch team would surely miss you." Professor McGonagall said emotionally.

"I will miss them too. I was never much of a sports fanatic, but when I saw so many good players, I respected it; I couldn't help but want to join. Even that would have been enough." I said, and smiled.

Dumbledore, McGonagall and I began descending the stairs towards the castle grounds. "It's a shame you can't stay for the approaching winter festivities. You will visit for them, I hope?" Dumbledore asked.

"As long as I am welcome to."

"Always." He smiled over his spectacles. "There is a Beauxbaton's carriage waiting for you at the far side of the grounds."

We hugged goodbye, and as I waved longingly at them, I somehow managed to trip over the hems of my robes and tumble the rest of the way down the stairs.

Only my pride…only my pride was injured.

My trunk and I began our long journey away from the castle. I stopped a few times to look back, hoping to see others besides Dumbledore and McGonagall waving; I believe I even started tearing when no one came.

Had I really expected them to come?

Hell, I was expecting four teenage boys to drag themselves out of bed before dawn…for a girl?

Bloody barmy, that thought is.

I was plum put out by the time I reached the conventional flying-horse drawn carriage. Hogwarts was merely a towing shadow on the dawning horizon by then. I heaved my trunk into the carriage, and then myself.

With a jerk I was sailing towards the sky. I sailed over Hogwarts and the dawn. While I gazed out my window, I noticed a figure, that wasn't there before, robed in black dashing madly across the field, screaming in the general direction of my carriage.

My first instinct was to demand the carriage be put down and run straight to him, but if I did, I would probably never be able to leave him.

Instead, I merely cried for him and watched his messy black hair shrink away.

I returned to Beauxbatons to finish my 7th year. About one week after my return, I was visited by a set of ministry officials who informed me that my parents had been murdered by Voldemort. Petunia and her fiancé Vernon were in ministry custody. She refuses to see me at this time. My house was too far gone to be inhabited.

In the span of one week, I have lost my only family, and what lives of it will have nothing to do with me. I have wronged my best friends, and have been rightly alienated from them. I am graduating this year, and I have no money nor a place to go afterwards. I am the secret keeper for a rogue Death Eater.

I have only one thing left: a desire to stop this tosser Voldemort, so that whatever future family of Potters might exist, they might live in peace.

I haven't the attitude, nor the heart to continue diary entries as they were. The heart weighs to heavily right now for silly girl thoughts.

I am afraid to inform you I must grow up now.

There will be no further entries from now on, only events as they unfold in front of the world.

There is no time like the present.

(for those of you who are confused, Lily has written us up to the present. From now on, scenes are written like they are happening as we watch instead of Lily's hindsight.)

Celine, Dior, Versace, Tiffany's...the list goes on. It didn't get any worse than this. It was now more than ever that Lily would have wanted nothing more than to be at Hogwarts. At the very least, she would be able to concern herself with her grief, rather than defend herself from a pack of competitive feral femmes. This was the school of the rich and the powerful, brewed in superficial poison.

A bell rang a series of chimes specifically designed for Beauxbatons.

Somewhere inside the ritzy school, a gathering of girls in blue satin uniforms took their seats. A tall and primly dressed woman walked to the front of the room, scowling distastefully the entire way. "Ladies, I would like to start by reminding you that you are enrolled in the highest level of the internationally prestigious L'Académie des dames de Magie. Though the winter holidays are approaching, you must continuously apply yourself strenuously to your studies.

Had Lily been in the room at this point, she would have rolled her eyes and pointed out that if money and bribes were the studies the teacher was speaking of, then that explains the mystery of how these silly girls had passing marks.

But Lily wasn't in the room.

She was a few corridors back, sprinting, winded and, quite late.

"Bother, bother, bother." She chanted quietly as she ran.

The classroom was just around the corner, when Lily's foot caught on something and she unceremoniously splatted upon her face. Her bag scattered its contents within the corridor. Giggles seemed to ooze from the wall, as two of Lily's least favorite people conveniently appeared.

"Are your feet as dumb as your head?" Charlotte chided.

Lily began gathering her things, paying them no mind, silently cursing to herself along the way.

"Oy! I'm speaking to you." Charlotte spat, using one of her tacky red high heels to push Lily off balance by her shoulder.

"You're not speaking to me, you're harassing me." Lily pointed out.

"So?" Mischa countered smartly.

Lily looked like she was trying very hard not to explode. Instead, she casually broke the heel of Charlotte's brittle designer shoe.

To Lily's delight, Charlotte looked heartbroken.

"Those were my favorite! My mother bought those for my sixteenth birthday!" Charlotte screeched.

"Oh, but your mother probably bought you another ten pair to match. If you have forgotten, remember that carrot cake I had in sixth year? My mother had made it and decorated it for my birthday. You smashed it in the mud. Your red shoe is small collateral for my cake." Lily had finished gathering her things and began to walk away.

Lily tried not to think of how she would never get another cake from her mother again.

Charlotte and Mischa looked bewildered, either because Charlotte's mother had actually bought her ten more pair of shoes, or neither of them knew what collateral meant.

When they realized Lily was walking away, the two of them scuttled to hurry after her. Though Lily had been thoroughly glad to be a full-time girl again, she retained some of Lee within her, such as the long strutting strides.

"So…Lily…where are you going for Winter Holidays? I hear you're in cahoots with Sirius Black! Not paying him any visits now will you?" Mischa somewhat rudely blurted as she alternated smiling sweet and scuffling behind Lily.

"Don't plan to see him." Lily answered abruptly.

"If you do, tell him Mischa Meyer wants a date."

"And Charlotte Dannon wants one with James!"

Lily threw a 'thumbs up' over her shoulder, then entered the classroom which she finally reached.

"LILY EVANS!"

Lily jumped at the professor's voice, then tried desperately to shrink into the wall. What she wouldn't have given for an invisibility cloak.

"I don't suppose punctuality was a virtue you acquired on your recent sabbatical." The professor gave Lily the evil eye. "Though I would be satisfied to have you review what you've been missing for us today, I must surrender you to the headmistress. To her office." She barked, then continued the lesson like Lily had never even come.

The young red-head huffed, scuffled into the corridor and trudged to the headmistress' office with all the vigor of a sloth.

Once she entered the office, the headmistress said nothing, but merely handed the young girl a letter and bade her leave. Outside, she took perch on a windowsill and read:

The Ministry of Magic Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes

Obliviator Headquarters

Dear Miss Evans,

Your sister has expressed desire to have relations to you absolved and her memory of your parents murder modified. Since she is not of the magical world, we seek your counsel on an appropriate course of action. Should you approve of your sister's decision, you will be forbidden to have any further contact with her from the time of the oblivion, onward. We advise you to think this over carefully, then respond appropriately within the next week.

Sincerely,

Nora Strangeglove

Lily darted for her dormitory, and hid under her bed. Though it was mercifully black, Lily still couldn't force herself to cry.

Though the letter was private, the news of Petunia's request seemed to parallel the shot heard 'round the world. Lily's sporadic absences to visit, no, scream and condemn Petunia at Mungo's, did not help.

Though things seemed dim, glimmers of light couldn't help but poke through the darkness.

Only a day or so after the letter arrived, Lily was summoned to the headmistress' office again, half expecting a lawsuit from the Potters for pain and suffering.

Instead, the shining Namie Noriko waited for her.

"Lily! I am so sorry for your trouble! I have missed you!" Namie said in her accented English, and embraced Lily.

"I have missed you, Namie. This is a long trip. Is there something special that brings you here?" Lily smiled, and hoped for the best answer possible.

She wasn't disappointed.

"Yes. You. I hear your house is destroyed. Family gone. Friends few. I want to offer you sanctuary at the imperial palace after you graduate, until you can support yourself. You are absolutely no burden, as I know you will insist you are."

"I…." Lily sobbed.

"Lily, I won't accept a no."

"Then that doesn't leave me with much choice." Lily tried to joke.

"Terrific. I will have transportation for you after graduation." Namie promised. Lily was truly grateful, once again, for the friends she had.

Unfortunately, Namie, being the daughter of the Emperor of Magic, could not stay very long, leaving Lily to her own devices once again. Somehow, the burden of having nowhere to go was somewhat lifted.

Petunia.

Lily practically loathed her at this point. What an unfeeling codfish.

Yet, the embodiment of Petunia is the very counterforce that would spare Lily from a miserable future. Within the hour of Namie's departure, Lily responded to the Obliviator's Headquarters denying Petunia's request, claiming that humans needed to remember the bad with the good, and she would not allow Petunia to alienate herself. Magic would not be responsible for letting Petunia escape. However, Lily agreed to one of Petunia's stipends, and that was that Lily was to refrain from constant contact with Petunia.

Then, Lily's most important resolution came about.

Lily decided that no one else should have to loose his family to political agendas and Voldemort's war. After graduation, she would become an Auror, and somehow, give the world a path to peace or die trying, so that whatever family James Potter had in his future, they would be safe.

She couldn't change the past, but she could protect the future, whether it be her future and James' future or not.

The day of Lily's parents' funeral had finally come. Due to investigative procedures and the state of the bodies, an immediate funeral could not be conducted. Dumbledore was kind enough to offer a small portion of the Hogwarts grounds for Lily's mourning purposes, and a few acquaintances to stand with her, including himself. Lily couldn't ask for anything more comforting than Hogwarts, so she gladly accepted this offer.

So, today, Lily stood at Hogwarts' gates once again.

She stood there for minutes, maybe a score. She simply couldn't bring herself to enter them again. Like a scared puppy dog, she ran for the forbidden forest.

Curling under a tree, she wept until she fell asleep.

When green eyes opened, drops of water began splashing upon her face. It was a famous British rainstorm. However she wasn't cold, and her mass of black clothes had doubled, so big that there could be another person there.

There was another person there, and what hazel eyes gazed at her!

Lily started, then calmed with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry." Potter said softly.

"You have got nothing to be sorry for." Lily chided miserably.

"No, for your parents." He corrected.

Lily's heart fell. Inwardly, she had hoped he felt sorry for yelling at her, but it would have been rude to outright accept his apology without denying it first.

"Oh." She paused for an awkward silence. Then began, "I am going to live in Japan after this, with Namie at the imperial palace."

Potter's eyes grew, and looked surprisingly distressed.

"Remember, from the open house? The Japanese girl? She offered me a roof until I find out what I will do. Petunia wants nothing to do with me, so that's what I will do." Lily continued, to keep herself from crying, and praying he wouldn't encourage her.

"Why?" His voice rising with fear.

"Because I have nowhere else to go! You're the one that told me to leave!" Lily pointed out, secretly wondering if boys had any memory at all.

Another awkward silence ensued.

"Don't go."

"Eh? Excuse me?"

"Stay with me." James said so plainly.

"Unbelievable!" Lily was nearly in tears.

"What?"

"After that whole scene!?"

"Why are you getting upset?"

"Have you come to make me feel worse? I have wronged you, I get it! Do you really think I am so awful as to provoke my already broken heart? In the span of one day, I loved you and then I was told to get out of your life. I'm reserving the right to protect myself this time." Lily was full fledged in sobbing, though she did not get up from her position next to him under the tree.

"I was rash, but you were equally as wrong. I am here to understand what I could not." James said evenly.

"If you are hoping that I will justify these past few months with some utopian dream…I can't do that for you. I am just selfish. I came to Hogwarts with selfish reasons to glorify myself, because I couldn't stand the thought of living another moment among these plastic Barbies here. I didn't call it quits or leave until now because I was selfish. I am not sure I would have even told you had it not come out like that." Lily sobbed.

"I won't deny that I didn't battle with myself over how I could trust you again. But I decided that even if you have some flaws, I couldn't live with out them, because that's what attracted me to you in the first place." James tried to wrap a comforting arm around her, and Lily let him.

"I may have looked different, but I wasn't pretending. I never altered my personality as Lee. Would you really take a chance on me? Can you expect an honest yes from your injured pride?"

"In all that time you were with us, you could have murdered us in our sleep. You knew our weaknesses, our secrets, and what vexed us. Yet, no harm came. I think if you had malicious intentions, I would be dead by now."

"Took you long enough."

"Sirius showed me what happened after I left the tent in his pensieve."

Lily blushed furiously.

"Did you really mean all that?" James asked.

"Was there a reason for me to lie?"

"Fair point."

"Why are you bothering me down here and the rain? You could be in Hogsmeade looking for company on a rainy night. You do have a girlfriend, don't you?" Lily mentioned in futile attempts to bring herself down to earth.

"Not since I saw your fiery red-hair for the first time."

"This hair is burned out. After all that's happened. I don't have much fire left. Your brain is supposed to in charge of all civilized functions and emotions, but why does my chest always hurt the most?" Lily asked, and was at first answered by a long pause.

"I want to make you happy, Lily." James said solemnly, and pulled her into a hug.

"Eh?" Lily's green eyes grew big.

"I can forgive you, if you can forgive me….but either way, I don't think I can be without you, considering I haven't lived without you for quite some time. I have gotten rather used to you, and fond of you." James whispered into her hair.

"Do you pity me then?" Lily asked as she bit back tears.

James laughed. His hearty laughs pounded against her front as his diaphragm rumbled. "I suppose coming from me, it wouldn't exactly slap you in the face as I'd hoped. Not literally of course. For such a smart girl, you really don't get it."

Lily didn't say anything, until James spoke.

"I love you." He said.

Lily began sobbing, and hugged him tighter. Through her sobs, she managed to reciprocate his sentiment.

Since it is not polite to intrude, it should simply be satisfying enough to know that a silhouette of meeting lips could be seen from a small distance.

And that was that.

Later, with James' help, and the addition of the Marauders, Lily was able to attend the small memorial for her parents.

Because of Lily's unwillingness to return to Beauxbatons afterwards, Dumbledore offered her a place at Hogwarts for the rest of the year as the first female student. Dumbledore had apparently reasoned, "This is the twentieth century for Merlin's sake. Furthermore, it is time to get some estrogen into Hogwarts to whip some wayward lads into shape." And he merely winked at Sirius.

After the funeral, the Marauders and Lily took a walk by the lake after the funeral where they joked around as always. Lily and James tried not to make a scene; they merely held hands.

Lily couldn't help but ask, "Will you have me back in the Marauders if I'm not a boy?"

"You can be an honourary Marauder. And for the record, love, you were never a boy." Sirius joked.

"Oy! Then what was I?" Lily challenged with her hands on her hips.

"Lets not go there." Remus said.

Lily glared at them with her eyes, but could only smile at them with her lips.

"Oh, don't worry about them. We still like you." James teased, and Lily beamed as he kissed her on the nose.

"After all, you are my little lady."

FIN

Finally! It's done!!! My first completed fic! Granted, it took a long while, and I am forever grateful to readers and reviewers who have been patient with me. I have recently been busy with graduation; however, little lady has managed to graduate with me. I apologize for the change in tense, but I believe it appropriate and I was struggling maintaining Lily's previous character with the grief that came with growing up.

I may write an epilogue in the future, but I haven't any plans for one at this point. I will be pursing Sin City and another James/Lily fic shortly

Leave your final reviews!

Thanks for riding.