Thanks for the reviews so far. It really helps encourage me. Otherwise, I'd be too shy to do this. :)

CBS owns all of these people. Lucky. (Also streaming this on livejournal. wee.)

Out of consideration for Sheldon's injuries still being tender enough to trigger pain, they decided that the easiest solution was to take him home in Penny's car instead of Leonard's clunker. Both Penny and Leonard had worked together to get Sheldon settled comfortably into the front seat, though getting the seat belt maneuvered around their friend's cast had been something of a chore. It did not help matters that Leonard was constantly fielding telephone calls from Sheldon's mother every fifteen minutes, more or less leaving Penny to have to manage on her own.

Penny glanced into her mirror to check that Leonard was not too distracted to buckle up. His voice filtered up quietly from the backseat. "Yes, Mrs. Cooper. Of course we're being careful with him. Sheldon hasn't even uttered one word of complaint – and you know how fussy he can be. Yes. I promise that I will call you back when we get to the apartment. Uh huh." He waved Penny on with an airy gesture, hurriedly locking his seat belt into place. "Yep. Okay, bye-bye."

"Did you finally manage to talk her out of flying all the way here?" Penny asked him once he'd hung up.

"Eh, nearly so." Leonard shook his head as he slipped his cell phone back into the pocket of his jacket. "Apparently she is consulting with her priest, her congregation, and the 'Good Lord Above' for guidance on the matter." He leaned forward slightly to smile at Sheldon in the passenger seat. "Oh, and you'll be happy to know that her entire social network is praying for you."

Sheldon looked away from where he'd been staring out the window to peer back at Leonard. "Really? Well, that's awfully nice of them, isn't it? I suppose if higher forces might somehow be persuaded to speed along my recovery than I could hardly deign to be ungrateful." His lips shaped a hint of smile. "I take it, from both your exchanges with my mother and based on my own interactions with her over the telephone, that she is very much a lover of this Jesus fellow?"

Penny nodded as she steered them through traffic. "Oh, God yes. Er.. no pun intended there. But yes, your mother is incredibly religious."

"She sends you knitted Jesus sweaters for your birthday every other year." Leonard added with a smirk. "You always hide them in the back of your closet in the off-hand chance that she might surprise you with a visit."

Sheldon looked slowly between the two of them, his face still plagued with flickers of confusion. "Ah ha." His eyes swiveled back to the cars driving around them as he seemed to absorb this new information.

Penny nearly rear-ended the car in front of them when Sheldon asked innocently, "Does that mean that I am also a religious fan of Jesus?"

Her face flushed with color when they both looked at her questioningly for the near collision. The blonde cleared her throat, flexing her fingers on the grip of her steering wheel. "Ah, not quite. Pretty much not at all. Well, that would be a wrong way to put it. Um.. no. No, you are not at all a fan."

"Interesting." Sheldon continued to blink at her from his place in the passenger's seat. Then his eyes moved towards the console of her car. "Penny. Being that I am grateful for you helping transport me home from the hospital, I feel that it is only proper to inform you that your Check Engine light appears to be on…"

"Yeah, I know, Sheldon." Penny responded sharply. "You tell me that every time you ride in my car, and it is still running fine. Like always."

"My apologies." Her harsh tone seemed to subdue Sheldon's mood immediately. He sank more heavily into the seat, quickly turning his face back towards the window to watch the world pass by outside.

Penny felt immediately awash with guilt. It wasn't as if Sheldon could remember how insufferable he could be at times. In fact, it didn't seem like he remembered much of anything before waking up in the hospital. She caught Leonard's eye in the mirror in a silent plea for help.

Taking the cue, Leonard piped up cheerfully. "Hey, what do you guys say to us stopping to get some ice cream on the way home? It'll be my treat, to celebrate Sheldon being released from the hospital."

"That sounds like a great idea, Leonard." Penny chimed in with a relieved smile. Leonard had even suggested something that he couldn't even participate in considering his problems with lactose, yet it was an activity that normally gave Sheldon immense pleasure. "You feel like getting some ice cream, Sheldon?"

"I guess." Sheldon responded dully.

Penny sighed to herself as she changed their course for the closest ice cream parlor. While the old Sheldon's constant talking had been a source of considerable misery, his new habit of withdrawing into clipped responses and sullen silence was proving to be an equivalent hassle. And since Sheldon refused to be lured out of it, the rest of the trip home was an awkwardly quiet one.

~*~*

"Okay. Here we are." Leonard said brightly as he opened the door to their apartment. He swept his arm to welcome Sheldon inside, eyes making a quick check of the interior to verify that everything was precisely where it should be.

Sheldon ambled in, the fingers jutting out from the end of his cast twitching nervously as he looked around the apartment. He seemed incredibly lost as he tried to decide exactly what to do first, hovering back and forth across the floor as Penny came in and Leonard shut the door behind them all. The tall man paused here and there to study some of their furnishings. "Well if this isn't just a quaint little bachelor pad. Two desks and two computers, obviously separate work spaces." Sheldon made a cursory examination of the kitchenette, an eyebrow arching high on his forehead. "Twin sets of everything in here, too. I won't even bother to check the bathroom facilities: I can presume already that there will be two of everything in there as well."

Leonard had been approaching the kitchenette to fetch himself something from the refrigerator, only to find Sheldon stepping directly into his path, the taller man looking sternly down at him. "Please tell me the truth Leonard, and be honest. You and I aren't engaged in an abnormal living situation, are we? And by 'abnormal living situation', of course I am inquiring as to if we are in some sort of non-heterosexual domestic relationship." Leonard's mouth dropped open as he went to respond, but Sheldon was already cutting him off with a firm shake of his head, blue eyes wide. "Because I should inform you now that I am frankly uncomfortable with the idea, and must request that the relationship end until I am in full recollection of my mental faculties."

"Dear God, Sheldon!" Leonard choked out, his head shaking in disbelief as he nudged the larger man aside in order to open the refrigerator door. He tried to ignore the fact that Penny was physically restraining herself from laughter. "We are not in any kind of relationship! We just live together. That's all."

"Like the Odd Couple." Penny called over from the living room, before she doubled over with a cackle of laughter.

Leonard looked at the blonde with an expression comparable to a kicked dog, as he closed the fridge with a bottle of water in his hand. He frowned over at Sheldon. "Put that idea far out of your mind. It's just a convenient living arrangement for the both of us. We work together, we have similar interests; we're both nerds. I like girls. A lot. And you.. Well.." Leonard hesitated, not sure how to explain himself without sounding insulting. "You like science. A lot."

"Thus explaining the presence of these white boards all over the place." Sheldon slipped past him, giving a sinuous twist of his long frame as he came to stand in front of the board he normally worked on. The surface of the board was still littered with tiny diagrams and formulas, including the very equation that Sheldon had been puzzling over the day of his fall. He folded his right arm close against his chest, left hand raising up to drum its fingers atop the surface of his cast as he let his eyes wander over the scribblings. "Remind me again exactly what my occupation entails?"

Penny came to stand beside him, finally having managed to compose herself. "You're a physicist. You work on science stuff. String quantum atomic variable theories or something. Does it make sense to you, Sheldon?"

The man's response was a derisive snort. "I don't see how it could. This is absolute gibberish to me – and considering that it is my own work, I can't foresee anyone else being able to decipher it either." Sheldon paused, tone becoming touched with reverence. "Though I am obviously a genius. And judging by that cute little smile face on the bottom edge there, quite a clever artist as well." He smiled as he tapped his finger against a symbol at the lower part of the board.

"You'd think amnesia would have done more for his personality." Leonard complained as he dropped down into the easy chair behind them. "Maybe if he fell down again and hit the other side of his head then he might actually be more pleasant."

Penny dropped on the middle of the couch with a heavy sigh. "Trust me, Leonard. I am sure that if his mother's prayers couldn't perform a miracle like that, then a fall certainly isn't going to get the job done."

Sheldon appeared oblivious to their exchange as he continued admiring the mess on the board, a tiny serene smile in place. Leonard quickly pushed his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose before addressing the man. "You should probably sit down, Sheldon. The doctor said that he didn't want you doing too many physical activities until more of the bruising fades. Howard and Raj should be here shortly with dinner."

"Oo, food sounds lovely." Sheldon admitted as he tore his attention away from the board. "I am still a little sore. Having to walk up four flights of stairs certainly didn't help." He looked at all the available spaces left on the couch before settling himself on the right side of the sofa next to Penny. Sheldon made a slight face, squirming around as he attempted to get comfortable. "You would think that someone would get the elevator fixed. People do pay to live here, correct?"

He trailed off as he noticed that both of them were staring at him in surprise. "…What?"

"Sheldon.." Leonard said tentatively, "are you sure that you don't want to sit on the other side of the couch? You know, on the other cushion?"

Looking down at himself, and then over to the indicated cushion, Sheldon was confused. "What difference does it make, Leonard, which side I sit on? It seems to me that sitting here would be ideal, because having the arm of the couch on this side will allow me to elevate my arm comfortably." He demonstrated his point by draping his cast across the brown leather. "See?"

Penny and Leonard shared a look, the woman muttering. "This is going to take some getting used to."

Their silent exchange of shock and Sheldon's obliviousness was interrupted by a knock on the door. It opened up as Howard and Raj let themselves in, the latter balancing the box that held several containers of takeout cuisine. Howard's mouth was already turning up in its customary smirk. "Well hello, my fellow nerdians." His voice dropped an octave as he acknowledged Penny. "And M'Lady. We have come to pay our tributes to your fair beauty, bringing with us fine delicacies from the exotic region of Thailand."

Raj simply shook his head. He didn't even wait for Howard to finish with his Penny-oriented endearments as he went over to set the box down on the coffee table. Howard was quite pleased with himself as he began to pass out the usual orders to the others. "We ordered a few extra side dishes tonight, considering that Sheldon has been having to put up with hospital food. Hope you don't mind if we mixed it up a little, Shel—" Howard paused in the act of handing Sheldon his order, realizing that he was offering the food to an empty seat cushion.

At the same moment, Raj had frozen. He stood there next to the couch where he usually had been designated to sit. However, Sheldon was currently occupying the space. The Indian looked wildly over at Leonard to see what he should do. Leonard waved him off dismissively. "Just sit where you want. Sheldon seems to be mixing things up just fine on his own."

"Right." Howard sluggishly twisted, serving Sheldon the food at the unexpected location. "I take it that you're still not remembering everything from before the fall?"

"Negative." Sheldon answered. "However, it is not as if I am completely without memory. My motor skills are still intact, and I have a grasp of proper behaviors as far as the physical goes. I am not going to start spontaneously urinating all over the floor, for example."

"Thanks for that." Leonard interjected with a forced smile.

Sheldon continued despite the interruption. "Yet the rest of it is very much a mystery. I doubt that I would have been able to find where I lived without Leonard's assistance, nor would I have realized that I had a zealous Christian mother still alive in the state of Texas either. As it stands, I have absolutely no memory of my occupation, my preferences, my current social relationships or even who all of you really are. I can't even remember the name of what it is that I am currently eating."

Howard gestured at Sheldon's bowl with his fork. "It's tangerine chicken. You order it every time."

"Oh." Sheldon stabbed at another lump of chicken, awkwardly holding his own utensil. "Apparently I am not left-handed, either. This is an unfortunate development."

Penny put her bowl down on the coffee table in front of her. "Sorry, Sheldon. I guess one of us should have taken that into consideration. Here, I'll help you." She took the fork out of his grasp, spearing some of his food. Penny lifted it up to his mouth so that Sheldon could get a proper bite.

Sheldon exuded gratitude as he devoured the mouthful of food. Then he frowned. "Howard?"

"Yeah, Sheldon?"

"This doesn't taste like tangerines to me."

~*~

Sheldon was surprised when the door to his bedroom opened up and it was Penny, rather than any of the other males, who entered. His posture stiffened where he sat on the foot of his bed. "Penny. This is unexpected. I had thought one of the others would have come in to help me prepare for sleep."

"I apparently have trouble grasping the concept of 'lizard' and 'Spock'." Penny explained with a shrug. She went straight to the closet, pulling it open and speaking to Sheldon over her shoulder as she searched for his pajamas. It was Tuesday, wasn't it? Hopefully he'd made labels. "It's really not a big deal, though. I've seen you in your underwear before."

"You have?" Sheldon stared at the blonde's back. "Regardless, it seems most unorthodox that someone of the opposite gender should be assisting me with such a private act as dressing for bed."

Penny finally found the designated plaid pajamas. She slipped the hangar off the rack, carrying the clothes back to where Sheldon sat. "You had a female nurse helping you in the hospital. What's the difference?"

Sheldon watched as Penny began to undo the buttons of the top. "For one, she is employed in the medical field. She gets paid to do a job, part of which requires her to deal with all sorts of private matters. Secondly… did you see her?" He shuddered. "That woman had twice my body mass and three times my facial hair."

"Well, then think of it as me repaying you a favor." Penny suggested. She reached for the buttons of his shirt to undo them, glad that the hospital staff had not redressed him with his usual T-shirt/long shirt combination. Leonard had actually managed to bring them a button dress shirt to put Sheldon in. It was going to make her task a little easier.

Penny was stopped by Sheldon placing a large hand over the tops of her fingers. Her eyes lifted from the buttons of his shirt to his face. She saw that Sheldon had turned a deep shade of red, his eyes turned fixedly away from her. His voice was low, nervous. "Penny, please. I find myself extremely uncomfortable with this idea."

"I understand." Penny dropped her hands away, placing them on her hips instead as she tried to think up a solution. "Would you be more comfortable if I closed my eyes when it came to the pants part?"

"That.. might be acceptable."

Penny nodded. "Okay. So I will help you with the shirt, because you won't be able to manage that on your own. But I will close my eyes, turn around, or whatever makes you more comfortable when we get there. Deal?"

"Deal." Sheldon relaxed a little at her compromise. "I apologize for being difficult, Penny. I know that this has been quite taxing for both you and Leonard. Please understand that this is even more difficult for me. I am in a terrible situation."

"Sheldon, sweetie, it's okay." Penny reached back to his shirt, beginning to get his buttons open. "No one can blame you if you are a bit difficult right now. I can only imagine what it must be like not to remember your life while still being expected to live it." She smiled warmly down to him. "Just know that I am here for you. No matter what happens."

"Like a guardian angel." Sheldon flashed his teeth in a fleeting grin, though his amusement was cut short by a sudden burst of pain. "..Ow."

Penny made an apologetic sound in her throat. "I'm trying to be as careful as I can. There are just so many bruises. I'll try to be more gentle."

Sheldon's jaw visibly clenched as Penny worked to get his shirt off of him. She could tell that the pain must have been bad for him, but the man dealt with it in silence. Penny saw that he was blinking rapidly and it schooled her every motion into one of extreme caution. The bruises on his torso were pretty bad. "Is your pain medication wearing off?"

"Think so." Sheldon said through his teeth.

"I'll get the bottle once we get your shirt back on. Just a little longer and you'll be all done."

She finally managed to get the sleeve of his shirt worked off over his cast, though the sleeve seemed like it was going to be stubborn. Sheldon let out a soft sigh of relief when it was finally off. He shivered, goose flesh breaking out over his torso with the sudden exposure to the room's temperature and that lingering pain. Penny worked the flannel of his sleeve carefully over the cast, glad that the sleeves were wide enough that the top slid on more easily than the other one came off.

"There we go." Penny said brightly as she finished getting the buttons done. "Nice, soft, warm pajamas. The Tuesday edition. Now you deal with your pants, and I am going to go get your pills, okay?"

"Okay, Penny. And a glass of warm milk, if you would be so kind? I understand that the consumption of warmed milk, as a simulation of breast-feeding, is actually quite handy in providing a good night's sleep."

Penny sighed. "You could have just left off at the request, and not added the explanation. But sure. Be back in a few minutes."

*~*~

Penny rapped her knuckles against Sheldon's bedroom door only once before letting herself back into his bedroom. "Here we go. One glass of warm milk and a bottle full of pills."

Sheldon looked mournfully over at her.

He was standing in front of his bed. With his pants pooled around his ankles. In his underwear and a flannel pajama top. Sheldon glanced awkwardly down at himself, his good hand lifting so that he could tug self-consciously at the bottom hem of his shirt.

Penny blinked at him a few times, then tilted her head far to the side. "Problems, Sheldon?"

"I managed the pants part just fine. But can you please help me untie my shoes?"