Author's Note: Thanks again for the reviews.

Ashamed, times three

It seemed that all of Highbury had turned out for Mr. Woodhouse's funeral…there were of course those that he called his intimate friends but there were many others and from all stations in life. Mr. Knightley was reminded of the Woodhouse's generosity over the years. He thought of how Mr. Woodhouse had visited the village more often when he had been younger, and was always interested in the young people and how they were getting on. Many of his own tenants attended the service, having been the recipient of either Mr. Woodhouse's kindness or as a benefit of Emma's parish visits to their homes. He shook his head, mentally taking himself to task for being, now he considered while amongst all these appreciative people, a little to hard on Emma when he was often lecturing her on being more aware of other people's hardships…the recent incident with Mrs. Bates, he was thinking in particular, he had known immediately the morning he had bid them farewell before leaving for London that he had been unnecessarily harsh…he looked about and saw two families just that morning on his walk to the village had been recounting on more than one occasion Emma showing up at their doorstep with bread and cheese and meats when one or the other of the family had been ill or hurt and that she never forgot the children at Christmas and always seemed to know exactly who needed a new muffler or who had outgrown the last pair of mittens she had knitted, with each remembrance he grew a little more ashamed of his behavior. He was in the midst of these thoughts when a hush came over the parish for who should enter and take a seat in the back but Frank Churchill and Jane Fairfax…

Knightley turned his head to gauge Mr. and Mrs. Weston's reaction and could see they knew nothing of the pair coming today. He looked back in front and saw Isabella whispering quietly to John, who had spied them enter, but Emma looked wholly oblivious to the awkward situation and Knightley was glad for at least that, she shouldn't have that to contend with as well. He muttered his thoughts under his breath,

"Bad form indeed." John glanced back at him and not sure what the other was exactly thinking on the situation, they nodded in a brotherly agreement on the comportment of Frank Churchill.

The Ceremony proceeded and although not an intimate friend of Mr. Woodhouse Elton did a fair enough job of giving the man his due. George and John excused themselves from the ladies at that time and went round the outside of the church where they, Mr. Weston and Dr. Perry had assembled to fulfill their pallbearer duties, once the group had filed out the side door of the parish they commenced to lift the weight of Mr. Woodhouse and ascend to the Highbury Hill cemetery. Emma, Isabella and Mrs. Weston were attended by Mr. Elton, Mr. Otway and Mr. Cole. The day had turned warmer and Emma thought that her Father would have approved of taking a turn after Church on such a mild morning. Mr. Elton walked in silence beside her, she sensed, ready to lend a hand if she were to give out.

"Mr. Elton, you did my father justice today…and I thank you for that." She spoke from the heart and Elton looked to her gratefully.

"He was a very kind man." He added.

And with this small interchange, they left their old grievances at the bottom of the hill. Mr. Elton bowed to her and excused himself to take his place at the front of the group. Emma turned just to see the men gently settle the wooden coffin down to the ground, it was not until this moment, that she had shed a tear but she could feel her eyes well…she would miss him so much but it was more than just missing him, it was a sense that he had somehow not really lived his life as fully as he could have, somewhere getting lost in a sea of fear. Mrs. Weston took her arm up and Isabella came round to the other side and they held her firmly between them, she thought if they had not done this she would have floated away…so strange this feeling that kept resurfacing on her…

George and John came again to stand with the Family. Knightley took up a post just behind Emma not liking the look of her complexion at all, the black dress and pelisse he knew were drab but truly she looked ill…he heard not what Elton said and was only alerted at the last second when he saw John once again leave Isabella's side that he had to go and finish his duty of lowering the casket. As he hoisted up the left side with Mr. Weston he wished that the ladies could be taken away somewhere for this…it was a part of the ritual he never thought did anyone any good.

When they had finished they were to line up in front of the Church for everyone to pay their respects, on descending the hill Knightley walked to Emma's side,

"Dear Emma, let me help you." It was less of a request as it was a need for both of them and she took up his arm readily.

"I am glad that you are here with me Mr. Knightley…it is a strange feeling and just at this moment I do not trust myself to know really what to do…or even say. I am very foolish am I not?" she could not muster even a smile.

"No…I will stay with you." He tucked her arm tighter in his and covered her hand with his own. They made their way down to the Church and stood together next to John and Isabella with the children intermingled between them. They thanked and spoke with everyone that had come to pay their respects and just towards the end Frank Churchill and Jane Farifax came forward. Knightley held his words to himself but just barely… Emma was warm and gracious and thanked them for coming and wished them very happy…Knightley for the second time today was ashamed at himself for his behavior towards Emma in the past; she truly was everything he always eluded that she was not.

It was decided that Isabella and John would walk back with the children as they were in need of some exercise and distraction. Mr. Knightley immediately offered to take Emma back to Hartfield thinking that she did not want to walk.

She did not respond but just walked with him and allowed him to lift her into the carriage. Once in and on their way back she looked to him, feeling somewhat restored and said, "and so our Mr. Churchill seemed very happy today."

Knightley was not sure how she meant the sentiment but he could hold his feelings in about the situation no longer. "Abominable behavior…I am sorry Emma that he had to behave in such a way towards you at this time…and his presence today…" he choked on the disgust.

Emma, shocked by his passion, sat up in her seat, "Mr. Knightley I must set you straight on this…Frank Churchill has not injured me…I know that we have not had time to discuss the news but he has used us all ill equally…I was not in danger." It took some time for the words to penetrate Knightley but finally he calmed.

"I was not sure of your entanglement?" he admitted quietly, not yet truly believing that she was fine.

She took her hat off and placed it next to her, the day had turned very warm and the black garb was becoming exceedingly uncomfortable. She took a little breath and admitted, "I have to admit I was flattered by his intentions…she looked away out the window, "…but I found, after some little time that I was not in danger.." she looked back to him, wondering what his reaction would be.

"Well Emma…I am glad to hear it…I feel sorry for Jane though, she deserved better." Knightley said the first thing that came into his head and tried to sound as nonchalant as possible while on the inside he had felt elated and relieved that Emma never really cared for Churchill and that she did not have to bear this loss as well as the death of her father.

Emma sat back relieved that Mr. Knightley had taken the news well and did not feel as though he needed to revisit her behavior and scold her, she did not think she could stand him being upset with her just now… and without thinking she said as much…;

"I'm glad you are not angry with me."

Mr. Knightley looked to her with a knitted brow. "Angry with you…, Emma?" he queried.

She shrugged, "I…I have forgotten now…but I'm sure I must have done something.?" She laughed a little out of truth and a little out of exhaustion. Mr. Knightley joined her and they both chuckled. He looked on her with warmth but then was reminded at how poorly she had seemed earlier in the day.

"If you must be scolded then let us say it will be for not eating and sleeping properly…really Emma, you must rest and eat today…I will not hear any arguments." Knightley had all but forgotten his previous promise to himself to stop scolding Emma and fell into his usual habit.

"You see I knew there must be something." She smiled, but thought how she would miss this back and forth they had if he were to marry. She had not had time to think until today about Harriet's confession that she was in love with Mr. Knightley and that she believed he returned her affections.

They arrived at Hartfield and Mr. Knightley escorted her in, trying to lead her to the dining room where he knew the cook had laid out food for the family and any guests.

She turned in the hallway and took his hands, her eyes were bright and he had not been this close to her in a long while. "I can't go in their now…please, can you tell everyone I am resting for a while?" she pleaded.

"Of course…" he bowed his head to her and then she was gone.

He did not see her the rest of the evening and when all the guests were gone and the children were in bed John and Isabella informed Knightley that they had a matter to discuss with him in the parlor.

"George…we think that Emma should come with us to London for some time…we are very worried for her…she seems not to be able to function here at the present…"

"Leave here…?" Knightley did not know what to make of it.

"We know we would be asking a lot of you George…for someone will have to look after Hartfield. We think, for her to be with Isabella and the children will be a good distraction and that in time she will be ready to come back…" John explained.

Before Mr. Knightley could comment Isabella worriedly added, "And even then it will be so lonely…without a husband or children."

Knightley swallowed hard and could not get hold of his thoughts, he felt something he didn't even really have was slipping away.

John commented, "Perhaps, she will meet someone suitable in London, through my club even…Emma is after all very pretty and intelligent…no… the more I think on this I know it is the right course of action." John concluded.

Mr. Knightley could hardly believe his ears, the usually good and kind Isabella and John were sounding like Mr. and Mrs. Elton…planning Emma's life out without even consulting her.

"Perhaps you should consult Emma before you finalize any plans?" Knightley suggested.

"We did mention her coming yesterday and she did not seem opposed." Isabella informed him.

Knightley shook his head thinking, of course she was not opposed she does not even know what she is about today…she needs time that is all.

"You do think it is the right thing, don't you George?" Isabella asked worriedly.

Knightley looked at Isabella and could not deny her, they were sisters after all and their father had just died…he supposed that he could not raise an objection. For the last and he hoped the final time today he was ashamed of himself, knowing truly that his objection for her leaving was more for his own well being than for hers.