A/N: There! I had to pull off a miracle to get this written and posted, but I wanted to update in time for my birthday (March 21) which marks my sixteenth year on the face of this lovely planet called earth. Hope you like chapie 8 more than the rest, it's a bit more intense and serious than the previous chapters were. Why the hell am I blabbering? Read on and you'll find out yourself…
Chapter 8
Draco ran his hand through his hair and looked at the sleeping image lying on his bed. A frustrated sigh escaped from his throat.
Am I dreaming? He asked himself, longing to reach out and stroke the deep brown curls spread out on the pillows, to caress the ebony skin, to hold the twitching body haunted by memories…
The wall to wall window was open, allowing a soft breeze to carry in the sweet scent of flowers into the room, courtesy of the Malfoy Manor's beautiful garden. Draco watched as it gently rustled the curtains and lifted the gloom that seemed to settle on the lavishly decorated room, debating whether to close the window or leave it open. Looking at the gray tinge that had robbed Hermione of her rosy color, he chose to leave it. It might coax some color back into her cheeks, he thought. She must feel baked in those sheets anyway; Mrs. Weasley must have used every blanket in the house…
Draco sighed again, a sigh of longing and despair and something else he couldn't quite place, dropping into the antique armchair opposite the huge four poster bed. He couldn't bring himself to sit any closer.
He couldn't bring himself to leave her either. And ever since he had awoken and was brutally hit by reality, finding the house completely deprived from any sedatives, he wasn't able to…he couldn't stop the beating of his frantic heart. He couldn't remove the image of Hermione, hurt and broken, from his aching head. He couldn't think, he couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep…How could he when the past few days, the past few years, every memory kept replaying in his mind, renewing the wounds and the pain in his heart? He shouldn't have gotten hooked up on potions. It just made everything ten times worse. It awakened memories that had been tucked away and forgotten, making you feel guilty and cowardly for not being able to deal with pain. Every time he closed his eyes the nightmares would spring to life, and he'd see his mother dying again, Hermione, Blaise, so close to death, Snape being tortured again and again, and Draco helpless, unable to save any of them. He would thrash around the couch in the sitting room next to Hermione before awaking in full sweat, his pulse raising and the memories fresh in his head. Induced to insomnia, he wandered the mansion's hundreds of rooms, trying to run from reality…looking from something to numb him to insensibility, but he found nothing.
He had blacked out during the transferal to Malfoy Manor, and his meddlesome friends had used that time (in incredible foresight) to remove every single tranquilizer that they could find, even the Muggle painkillers he was using in the Muggle born case. The numerous house elves had been bullied into not helping Draco procure any of the sedatives too. All that was left were the emergency potions in the dungeons that were of no use to Draco in what he wanted. Any sedatives for Hermione was with under lock and key with Ginny, who had moved in and taken control of the house, acting as Hermione's nurse. A trusted Healer would come once a day to check up on Hermione, who still hadn't awakened. The transferal from St. Mungo's was couple of weeks ago, and Draco had given up yelling and shouting in the house, and given in to the fact that this was, in fact, for his own good. He confined himself to the library and Hermione's rooms, which were previously Draco's. He had insisted in using his rooms for Hermione, and wouldn't hear of anything else. He walked around looking like a member of the living dead, the color his short spell had given him driven away, and his normally silky platinum blonde hair standing on one end, spending his time either at the library, feverishly researching, or gazing at Hermione in silence. He hadn't seen the others in quite a while, it was too dangerous for them to come…it would lead Roger right to Hermione.
I don't need you, and I never will…that fateful day and those words played over and over again in Draco's mind as he watched Hermione turn around in her sleep. If only I had made her stay. I should have done something…anything. Now he had lost her forever. Draco had better keep his distance; he didn't want both of them to end up hurt. Hermione stirred again, whimpering softly. Draco broke out of his reverie and jumped up, ready to rush to her and take her into his arms, all thoughts of distance forgotten. But a few moments passed in silence, and Draco relaxed back in his chair. It was midnight now…Ginny had long since been forced to her room by Draco who insisted she rest, convincing her by telling her he wanted time alone sitting besides Hermione. In fact Draco was terrified of being alone with her. What if she woke up while he was there? He could barely breathe by just seeing her, how would he feel if she woke up and demanded some comfort? Or worse, burst into tears? I'm barely in a state to comfort myself, let alone anybody else, he thought wryly. And as for her bursting into tears, it would rip him apart! These past few haunting days had taken from Draco what broken strength he had. He was a mere shadow, blending into the background of his memories. Draco sat there, silent, unmoving, until the sleepless nights of the past two weeks caught up with him and he drifted off into a fitful doze…
Crash!
Draco suddenly woke up, alert. He slowly got up and went to inspect the noise. It had sounded a bit like shattering glass. What if Roger found them? Is Hermione okay? These and a dozen other questions crowded his mind as he crept towards the bed, his wand out.
"Lumos." He whispered, and his wand lit up, providing him with a faint glow.
Nothing was wrong with the windows, but he closed them all the same, so whoever had trespassed on his property couldn't escape. Draco was so focused on his search he didn't hear the faint voice that was calling out…
"Who's there?" The weak voice asked, a trace of fright lacing the voice.
"Who's there?" It asked again, louder this time, and Draco heard it. He whipped around and pointed his wand in the direction of the voice, and its light fell upon a pale, brown haired woman, her eyes open and fearful…and suddenly, all he could hear was his heart beating, fast and loud and deafening, in his ears. They stayed like that, suspended in time, just staring at each other, both illuminated by the pale light of the wand, until Draco remembered himself. He cleared his throat.
"Err…Do you need anything?" He asked, not able to make his legs move from their position.
"I…I…need water…" Hermione's voice sounded parched and trembling. Draco, his eyes on the floor, forced his legs to move towards the night table, where he knew Ginny always kept a pitcher of water. He found the pitcher shattered on the ground, the water spilled everywhere, and when he dared to look up Hermione had an apologetic glance in her eyes. This is what must have woken him up a few moments ago, and his tense muscles relaxed a bit. "Reparo." The broken glass flew back together. He flicked his wand and all the water disappeared.
"I…I'm sorry…I…just wanted…something to drink…and I couldn't reach the table…I didn't know anyone…" She stammered.
"Shhh…it's okay. It's alright…" Draco calmed her down, all the while keeping his eyes on the glass in his hands. "Here…" He held out the glass to her. She tried to carry it but her hand shook so much the water nearly spilled. Draco cursed himself and, breathing hard, steadied both of her hands with his big strong ones. A jolt passed through his arm, and his whole body felt as if it was on fire. He fought to keep his emotions under control. Is this what she can do to me from one touch? Draco thought. Her hands were clammy and cold under his. Draco kept looking at his hands and Hermione's intertwined together, not noticing that Hermione had finished drinking her water, not noticing the look of torment that passed her eyes. It seemed like ages until Draco pulled away… and when he did, Hermione's eyes were dull once more.
"I better go call Ginny then. She's better at this stuff than I am." He gave her a wry smile that went unnoticed in the feeble light. He backed away, stumbling on the footstools, unable to tear his gaze away from Hermione, now that he had finally looked. He nearly ran to the door, and he called for a house elf. "Tillie!"
There was a crack, and his faithful house elf appeared in front of him.
"Yes, Master?"
"Go call Ginny. Tell her Her…Her…Mrs…tell her our patient has awaken." He couldn't even bring himself to say her name. Draco Alexander Malfoy, you are nothing but a shameless coward. Damn it! I should keep my bloody distance. She's going through a terrible time now and you shouldn't use it. Why not? Because it's wrong. What's so wrong about it? You might make her happy. I could never make her happy. She said so herself. And that made that annoying voice in the back of his head shut up. He paced the hallway in front of the room furiously, until Ginny, harassed and running, a black bag in her hand, showed up.
"I should have never left her! Why did you let me sleep all that time? Why didn't you wake me? Since when has she been awake?" Ginny demanded, feeling guilty and furious with herself and with Draco.
"You needed to sleep. You won't be of much use to her if you were sick yourself, will you? She just woke up moments ago. And it was fine. She's alright." Draco heard himself speaking, trying to calm down Ginny when he couldn't calm himself down. But miraculously, Ginny shut up and walked in silently. Draco hovered by the door, uncertain…
But he banged the door shut and strode away, not daring to look back. He didn't stop until he was out of the corridors, out of the house and on the mansion's grounds…
A/N: Hmpf…bit shorter than I expected, but I got stuck in the middle…little dark ain't it? Different then the loopy Draco(to quote this-recurring-dream) in past chapies…Mawii's been bugging me about how happy the past chapters seem seeing as Hermione is hurt and all that, so this chapie is 4 her, naufdude, and neena7…who've been bugging me to update. Ameterasu Kinesi (sorry hun but ur penname's a bit hard to memorize, hope I didn't get it wrong), this-recurring-dream, silidons,Mawii,dracoisthesexiestmanalive, who cheered me up a bit after my disastrous chapie 7, thank u all! Now, since I had to miss studying an exam to write this, do hope you'll humor me and press the ever present button at the bottom of this page, which tells you to "submit review"…(hint,hint,hint) Cheers! c u on the next installment of "What Time Can Never Heal"…
Ps. Naufdude made a really clever remark. Seems like my emotional chapters are coming in at fours: chapie 4,chapie 8 and so on…I guess we'll have to wait and for chapie 12 to see if it's true…
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