It feels like it's been weeks. It feels like it's been weeks since Edward walked out of that gym door, out of my life, when in reality, it's only been a day. I feel empty inside. I feel hollow. Like someone ripped my heart out of my chest and put it on display, just out of my reach. I feel like curling up in a ball and crying, except nothing comes out, and this just feels worse. All day I've been listening to Taylor Swift songs, hoping that when one of them comes on, inspiration will hit me, and I'll feel better and I'll be over Edward, and I won't have that hollow space inside of me anymore.

Breathe.

Fearless.

You're Not Sorry.

None of these songs work. They all make the gap in me wider and more vulnerable, and when Alice comes over all we do is sit on my bed and don't say a word, because I know one word will send me over the edge, and one word will pry that hollow space larger and larger until I am consumed in it and alone.

***

When Alice left and her car squealed down the road, I picked up my phone. Then I put it down. Then I picked it up again, my fingers hovering over the numbers.

I didn't let myself hesitate. I dialed his number and put the phone to my ear. It rang and rang, and then his automated voicemail came on.

Hi, this is Edward—I'll call you back.

Beep.

I opened my mouth to explain it, but nothing came out. I didn't have an explanation. What Rosalie had said had been true—I had made a bet—a horrible bet—except, during that bet, I developed real feelings for Edward. Deep, real feelings.

So I stood there, thinking of something to say, until the mechanical voice told me my message had been too long, and if I would like to keep it, record it again, or delete it. I pressed three for delete.

***

Jess: You're just making it worse on yourself, Bells.

Bella: I'm trying to make it easier.

Jess: By doing that you're making it worse. You just need to forget about it.

I wondered for a moment how I could possibly forget about it. Then I decided that I couldn't.

Bella: You're right. I should get to sleep. School tomorrow.

Jess: You're coming?

Bella: ... Why wouldn't I?

Jess: I just thought you might need time to recover.

Bella: You just told me to forget about him.

Jess: Duh, in recovery.

Bella: ... All right. I might see you tomorrow I might not. 'Night.

Jess: But it's only six...?

Bella: Don't let the bed bugs bite.

~Bella is now offline~

A/N: Sorry I haven't been able to update—my parents are on vacation & my laptop/computer time to write has gone doooooooownnnnnnnnn.