Because chapter 2 and 3 were very short, I decided to combine them, so for all the thousands of readers who are just tearing their hair out waiting for me to update, there's another section on the end of chapter 2. And here's the last chapter. So choice!

There it was. After hours of flying, he finally saw it rising from the horizon. Lightening flashed behind the castle, home to someone he had hoped never to have to see again. A shudder went down his ghostly spine. Boy, he wished he had a cup of coffee.

Without stopping to take in the scenery, Ghost Chimp, M.D. moved effortlessly through the stone walls of the castle until he was just where he wanted to be because ghosts can do that and I don't want to waste time.

"Ook Ackok," Ghost Chimp, M.D. said slowly, hovering six feet off the floor.

"Vhy, Ghost Chimp, M.D.," smirked Bob Barker, "vhatever brings you to . . . TRANSYLVANIA?!" A clap of thunder and bolt of lightening at that moment showcased his long eyeteeth. His eyes flashed in the candlelight and he bared his teeth, while bringing one hand to the middle of his chest and moving slightly forward.

"Oook ook ook ock ook, ack ook ahk ahk hoot ook."

"J'es, I'm familiar. Ah, ah, ah, ah, bleh."

"Ook ahk, ahk ahk ock ahk. Hook hoot."

"Mm hmm, bleh," he answered in the affirmative.

"Ock hoot?"

"Vhy? You ask vhy? Becousse, my dear Ghost Chimp--"

"Ack."

"J'es, MD, I'm planning to go on a crime spree and I don't-- ow!"

Bob Barker grabbed his mouth.

"Ook?"

"No, no, it's fine. I bit by tongue, bleh. It comes vith the territory."

"Eek."

"Quite. I need a moment."

"Ook ook?"

"I can't look at it in a mirror!"

"Aaak," he nodded, and then rubbed his chin. "Oock? Oook ack?"

Bob Barker chuckled. "J'es. It took a long time to learn how to do that, bleh, but ve vampires should not have facial hair."

"Ook ook ack?"

"Somevhat, j'es. But I think it looks . . . bleh. Bleh."

"Ook!" Ghost Chimp, M.D. took advantage of the lull to launch a surprise attack on Bob Barker and threw something at him. I'm not gonna say what it is. I think you know. I didn't know ghosts could even do that.

"BLEH!" Bob Barker shrieked, turning into a bat and flying to the other side of the room. He turned back into Bob-Barker form and used a towel to wipe his face. Bob Barker hissed loudly.

"Eeek eek!" screeched Ghost Chimp, M.D..

"Hroar!" roared Bob Barker.

"OOO AHH! OOO AHH! OOO AHH!"

"HROAR!" Bob Barker's jaw seemed to dislocate on that one.

"Do you mind?!" a bigfoot shouted. "Mr. Charles Dickens is trying to entertain me with a delightful assortment of words, and you are making it very difficult for me to take any pleasure from it!"

"Hey," said Chuck Dickens.

"Ook," said a sheepish Ghost Chimp, M.D., and Bob Barker made a sound like air being let out of a tire.

"Thank you," huffed Bigfoot, and went back to the study.

"Ack ock ock hoo?"

"Many more than vone, silly villy. They are sighted on every continent; how vould that happen vith just vone animal?"

"Eek."

"I don't believe in ghosts."

Ghost Chimp, M.D. looked down at himself. " . . . Ook."

"I attacked that veak monkey to lure you to me. You vould be the only creature vho vould, or could, stop my rash of bank robberies, and I have to make sure you vill . . . stay out of my vay."

He spread his arms like wings and lifted into the air. "How many banks vill I rob? One bank, two banks, three banks, ah ah ah!"

As the air swirled about the room, Ghost Chimp, M.D. got a slight chill and pulled his trench coat closer to him. Then he cocked his head in a thoughtful fashion.

"Vhy are you not terrified?" Bob Barker asked, landing.

"Ock ook. Oook ook eek ack?"

"I made a few . . . bad investments, you know."

"Ook?"

"I don't vant to say."

"Oo-ook . . . "

"The Egg-Stractor and the Kling Tut."

Ghost Chimp, M.D. kept his mouth shut. That didn't even deserve an "ook".

"I love vordplay," he said with a touch of a sensitive smile, his top teeth hanging over his lip.

Suddenly, Ghost Chimp, M.D. felt very uncomfortable.

"Ooooook . . . "

"Never mind!" Bob Barker exclaimed, lifting back into the air. "I vill rid the vorld of the likes of -- please take your foot out of your mouth vhile I'm threatening you -- the likes of you vonce and for all."

Ghost Chimp, M.D. ran his tongue over his teeth and gave Bob Barker a sly smirk.

"Vhat? Vhat vith that look now?" Bob Barker landed again.

"Eek ock eek eek ack."

"Explain the easy vay."

"Ook ook ook, eek ock ock. Ahk ack, ook hoot hoot OOO AHH ook ook. Ook? Ock ock eek hoo. Ook hook ook ook ock ook."

Bob Barker scoffed. "And vhat is the hard vay?"

"Aack."

The pallor Bob Barker was already sporting paled even more, and his eye developed a pronounced twitch. "I'll take the easy vay," he squeaked.

"Ook ooo hoo."

Ghost Chimp, M.D., feeling very proud of himself despite the fact that he didn't have the opportunity to use his gun, stethoscope, or brand-new Indiana Jones whip, grabbed a banana from his trench coat and flew off toward home.

¤§¤

"Mista Snugglecakes!"

Polly grabbed the now-tangible Ghost Chimp, M.D. and pulled him close to her. Her blonde curls tickled his ghostly face.

"I'm so happy to see ya. How'd it go? Everything turn out just ducky?"

Her green eyes glittered in anticipation. He gave her a soft punch on her chin. "Ahk ook."

Polly blushed. "Aw, gee whiz," she chuckled.

"Ook ook . . . " Ghost Chimp, M.D. stopped from uncertainty.

"Hey, ya'ain't gotta be embarrassed. Ya can ask me anything."

Ghost Chimp, M.D. thought a moment. Was he really that good a doctor that he didn't actually need a nurse? He decided that yes. Yes, he was.

"Ook ook . . . hoot ooo?"

"On a pehmanent basis?"

"Ook."

"Aw, shua! Aw, I'd love it, Mista G! One coffee, comin' right up!"

The End . . . ?