Chapter 12: The Canadian Mob
Kel was walking down a corridor on a exquisite afternoon, since she had nothing better to do. She was also before a live audience because people were observing her for a report called "Kel: A History". Or at least that's what they said. Without so much as a squawk Neal jumped out of the drapery.
«RAWR!» roared Neal in a crumbly voice.
Kel heaved out her prickly swordfish street lamp and bashed Neal exactly in the ribcage,
«Ouch!» screamed Neal, which sounded awfully outlandish since usually people yell «Ouch» not scream it.
«What a extravagance!» said Owen rising out from under a hearth rug, «I get to take notice of the hedgehog Muppet play his pleasant-sounding stapler, and I get to hear Neal scream "ouch" all in the same day!»
Owen grinned in a really bloodcurdling way. It was like a miniature vending machine opening its jaws and there being a harp-playing mango in there.
«AGGGHHHH!!» screamed Kel and Neal. They ducked for cover.
Owen lost interest and scuttled off to grin at new people. A small number of minutes later he returned and screamed «THE CANADIAN MOB IS ATTAKING THE PALACE!!!!» then ran out once more.
«AGGGHHHH!!» repeated Kel and Neal. They ran outside because they are stupid. Outside there was a gathering of Canadian men trying to force Jon to put a badger down his pants.
«But I'm allergic to vegetation!» cried Jon
«HEY!» screamed Neal pulling a tin can of wine, «Stop forcing our queen to put animals into his pants!»
«Well he dam well deserves it eh?» said the oldest Canadian «Just this mornin' he came into my shack eh? And covered my pet moose and beaver with my tub of maple syrup eh? Then he fled into the forest eh? And I had to chase him with my moose and I missed my hockey game and spilt my beer, eh?
Kel and Neal exchanged bewildered facial expressions.
«What's HOCKEY?» asked Kel
«What's a SHACK?» asked Neal
«What does EH mean?» asked Kel
«What's a FOREST?» asked Jon who was now reading a book called «50 ways to make a mob of Canadians attack your palace»
«Well you better leave or my can of wine with come in contact with your jumbo eyebrow!» threatened Neal stimulating his can of wine.
«ARG! HE HAS WINE EH?!! EEP!!» The Canadians screeched and scattered, running back to Canada. Wine was simply too sophisticated for their beer loving selves.
Kel applauded and went to high five Neal but fell down instead. Jon then tried to fall down but by coincidence punched Neal in the face instead. Neal, feeling very violated and rather like Jennifer Lopez, opened his can of wine, drank it, and then pierced Jon with Kel's arm. It almost certainly hurt Kel more than Jon. Now Kel was feeling pretty angry and deformed. She picked a wild turkey from the backyard and slingshot it towards Jon's skull. Instead it smackrd him square in the bottom.
« Ow my square bottom! » whimpered Jon. « Now I'll have to get kelp implants! »
And that was the last anybody ever heard of him... just kidding.
I am canadian so I didnt mean anything to be offensive:):)
I was too tired to think so thats why this isnt a very creative chapter:(
haha, these litle emotion guys are cool (:):(:):( XD :)