Here's another one-shot, m'darlings. These aren't following any specific time line; just when I find something that amuses me, I use it. This one was inspired by a K/S thumbnail I found while trolling the internet one evening. It was green, and was a screen shot of Spock when he had Jim pinned to the consol and was choking him, with the words, 'Spock will choke a bitch!'. That image just popped in to my mind for some reason, it seemed like something Kirk, in his badassery, would wear on a t-shirt, and boom, this was born! :) I have no idea who created the thumbnail, but I don't own it, and I thank you for providing me that inspiration. :)

This one goes out to ShamelessSpocker (I LOVE your name.) This doesn't deal with the playboy side of Kirk, but it made me smile, thinking of Jim sticking up for the memory of Spock's mom. Your review made my day, and I hope you enjoy this one. :)

Disclaimer: The only thing of Star Trek that I own are the DVDs, so clearly, I don't own Star Trek. Gene Roddenberry and J.J. Abrahms own these gems. I wish I owned it, and if someone could give me the rights for Christmas, I will love you for forever and a day.

Also, completely unrelated to the story, R.I.P. Gary Coleman. I still can't believe it. _

"'Spock will choke a bitch'? Captain, I fail to see how this helped negotiations.", Spock commented, standing next to Jim in the sickbay as Nurse Chapel patched he and Bones up.

Neither commented, but Bones laughed while Jim flashed that special grin of his. Spock sighed in quiet indignation, yet still wanted to sink in to the floor and die. Instead, he wrote a memo for Beta shift to keep a close scan for any near by Romulan transmissions, and to keep their phasers ready in case of attack.

As the First officer walked out of the sickbay, not paying any notice to the good doctor's comment on how Jim was 'in for it this time', he sighed once again. Such was the way Jim Kirk did things, the Vulcan supposed. Speak first in blunt honesty, ask questions later, and damn the consequences as long as the truth was revealed and the Federation was safe. In a moment of lost control, Spock rubbed his temples tiredly. He wondered if Spock Prime ever had days like this.

Somehow, the Science officer didn't think the Romulans would take kindly to Jim's choice of attire to that particular meeting, after the disaster that was Nero. Jim, in his infinite and highly questionable wisdom, decided standard Starfleet uniform to be unnecessary on his trip to the summit.

Instead? He wore a basic black t-shirt with, 'OBEY US!', in white lettering on the front, while on the back, in neon green letters, were the words, 'Or Spock will choke a bitch!'. To an intergalactic summons, regarding the reuniting of Vulcan 2 and Romulus.

Obviously, the Romulan high counsel was not amused. The story was that, somewhere between the opening comments and the appetizers, Jim had managed to offend the Romulans to the point where he and the present landing party - which Spock had been part of - had been involved in a physical altercation with most of the Romulans present.

In his defense, Spock had only left Jim and McCoy by themselves in the meeting hall for five minutes! Ten, at the most! Scott had needed his assistance with some variables, and he had been only too happy to oblige, thinking the situation well taken care of with his father and counter part keeping an eye on Jim. And then, the yelling and phaser fire began, and Spock thought he'd perhaps made an error in judgment, namely leaving Jim and McCoy with the innocent counterpart of the Nero responsible for the destruction of Vulcan, as he and Scott ran back to provide assistance.

Apparently, Jim had explained later upon entering sickbay after running from angry Romulans who'd yelled every insult and slur known to the Federation at them, after Spock's departure, a derogatory comment had been made about the Lady Amanda, and the commenter had voiced the opinion that Sarek should remarry.

Sarek, to his credit, had remained calm and composed, telling the speaker that their comment was unwarranted, unnecessary, and unwanted, and said no more on the matter. Jim... Not so much. In the words of the highly amused yet phaser burned McCoy, in response to the insult to the Lady Amanda's memory, Jim 'told him where to go and how to get there. He called the Romulan bastard everything but a white man, and when the guy made to pull out his phaser, Jim socked him in the face and told us to run'.

Which in turn lead to the crew of the Enterprise running as fast as humanly possibly to the shuttle and safety. Spock was quite sure that he would be fielding calls from angry and offended Romulans from then until Christmas for this one, and oddly enough he knew, as sure as Jim knew he would understand, that he'd have done the exact same thing in his Captain's position. Though he appreciated the defense of his mother's memory more than words could really say, Spock hoped that, next time, Jim would consider accomplishing it in uniform. Good t-shirts were hard to come by in deep space, after all, and Spock had found it particularly amusing when Jim attempted to keep the shirt's purchase a secret.

Such was the way of Jim Kirk, Spock sighed to himself. Illogical, compassionate, loving fool that he was, and after serving with him for a year, Spock still couldn't find anything about Jim he would change.

'Hm. Define ourselves, indeed.', he mused with a smile, taking his seat at the Science controls just as the bandaged and bickering Jim and McCoy walked on to the bridge.
_

Oh Jim. What will he do with you?

A little fluff at the end there. I couldn't resist! xD

Anyway, hope you liked it. :) Reviews = Love. Flames = Smores. (And I have mint chocolate ice cream, so smores really aren't necessary.)
Until next time! (L) Oracle.