Hey guys. It's been a while! Hope everyone is well. =) Sorry this has taken so long. Hopefully this makes up for the time lapse! I know I said this one would feature Scotty, and it does so I didn't technically lie, but it's not focused on him. That one hasn't been typed up yet. This one is focusing on Sarek and Amanda, and Sarek's life on New Vulcan without her. I absolutely love Sarek and Amanda; other than K/S and Uhura/McCoy, they're my favorite. Some details, like how Amanda died and how Spock and Sarek reconciled, are proabably off, but I'm a little foggy on those details.
It gets a little preachy, I feel, towards the end and I'm sorry if that gets on anyone's nerves, but I started thinking about how emotional I would get if anyone ever tried to badmouth my mom's memory, and it just spiralled from there. And as for why I make Stonn such a bastard... I don't know. I tried writing T'Pring as the bad guy, but her dialog just wasn't working for me. (And if you've read Spock's World, you'd know that she's an evil bitch. But for her appearance in this, I claim inconsistency due to alternate timeline. If Spock and Uhura can date (Seriously. WTF?), T'Pring can be something other than manipulative. xD)
Oh, while writing this, I received a wonderful little plot bunny that I've been thinking over. Luckily it's summer, because I REALLY want to write it (Omg, you have no idea how badly I want to get started on it.), and it'll take some time to write it properly. It's Star Trek, clearly, and it'll feature all our favorite people. There are two ways it could turn out; I could do justice to one of the most badass ST characters of all time. Or, I could entirely butcher it, and it could fall off the radar. Kudos (No, it's not him.) to anyone who's figured it out already, but there's a hint or two in the story. I think that's about it. Enjoy. =) Thank you guys for your reviews and comments on the other chapters, reading them made me so happy! Hope I don't disappoint.
Disclaimer: I own nada, except my laptop, the DVDs, and my phone. Please don't sue; the only thing you'll get is my time, which I need.
The subject of Amanda's life and death was a sensitive one around Spock's home on Vulcan. He and Sarek spoke of her often in passing, especially when Sarek had gone through a trying day, or if he and Spock were sharing their memories of her with Jim. Though she was openly spoke of and remembered within the walls of Sarek's home, the only ones who could speak of her outside of it and not fall prey to the older Vulcan's glare were Spock because he was her son, Jim because he was their son in law, and T'Pau because Sarek knew better than to assume his unspoken ban on Amanda's mention applied to her.
Most Vulcans understood and respected the Vulcan elder's wishes and left Amanda's memory to rest. (Their prejudice against had Spock faded as well, partially due to a security breach in the Enterprise's computer banks. The footage of Spock kicking Jim's ass around the bridge like a hackey sack after he insinuated that Spock had never cared for his mother was somehow sent to New Vulcan and showed to the populous. Along with it, the archive footage of Spock's childhood fight at the Academy was played directly after, along with the comments the other children had made. To that day, Jim and Chekov would vehemently deny any and all involvement, and Spock Prime had remained entirely too silent on the matter to be considered innocent.)
In the rare case that someone did voice their displeasure with Sarek's choice of wife, neither God nor Devil would or could help the poor bastard if Sarek caught wind of it, and he always did. Sarek was one of the scariest Vulcans alive if you crossed hairs with him on the subject of Amanda.
What blew Jim's mind as he watched his father in law was that, whenever a comment against Amanda was made, Sarek never showed that it physically bothered him. He carried on with business as usual, but Spock, and by default Jim, could read the carefully hidden anger, and knew that no matter how many 'That would be illogical's he rattled off, if a debate happened to occur, Sarek's claws came out and he ripped entire metaphorical limbs off of the speaker, in a politely Vulcan way of course.
One Vulcan Jim had come to really despise, Stonn, had been one of the aforementioned poor bastards, and something in Jim had chuckled gleefully as Sarek all but gutted the arrogant Vulcan during a meeting at the Science Academy. After cutting Stonn down to size, Sarek relinquished the floor to the speaker. Before the meeting could continue, Stonn stood up in a clear huff, giving Sarek a look that was the Vulcan equivalent of humiliation. He took a moment to compose himself as T'Pring (Don't even get Jim started on that bitch. She was probably the only one Jim would have left on Vulcan during the explosion.) stayed seated beside him, giving him a look saying, 'Don't make this any worse.'.
"Your human wife has been dead for over two solar years, Ambassador.", Stonn had pointed out. The entire room went dead silent, and Spock's back went ramrod straight as he sat between his father and Jim. Every eye in the room fell to Sarek and Spock, and the elder gave Stonn a look of cool indifference. Though he didn't like him, Jim felt a twinge of pity for Stonn.
'And another one bites the dust.', Jim predicted.
"That would be correct, adviser. Your point?", Sarek asked. Jim was faintly sure he could hear Spock's teeth grinding. He and Stonn had been old friends at one point, until Stonn decided he wanted to take part in T'Pring's cheating on Spock while he was aboard the Enterprise while they were still betrothed. Spock had returned to visit Sarek, and found T'Pring alive and waiting for him with Stonn in the wings. They'd almost been bonded, until Jim and the cavalry arrived to stop the wedding.
"It is illogical for an ambassador of one of our kind's most distinguished families to remain widowed for so long after the passing of a mate. And what with your progidy's choice in mate, you are the only one of your family with the ability to contribute to our kind's continued existence. I must ask, Ambassador, why have you not found a more suitable mate to replace your dead human whor-?" Jim was too shocked to form words while Sarek and Spock stood in tandem, Spock with a homicidal glint in his eyes. Stonn's sure to be bloody murder was interrupted when T'Pau stood suddenly and silenced him with a whack of her staff against the table the council sat at.
"Adviser, that is more than enough. You yourself are not one to condemn the choices of a widower, least of all a superior. I remind you that it was through Ambassador Sarek's actions, and his alone, that Spock did not banish you or T'Pring for your infidelity upon his return, as would have been his right with his victory in the challenge.", T'Pau admonished firmly, her eyes on Sarek as Jim kept a tight grip on Spock's arm while leading him away from the table.
"Lady, I only meant -", Stonn began.
"SILENCE." T'Pau's staff nearly cracked the table when she struck it a second time. The whack echoed around the brightly lit hall, and she continued in the silence. "We are Vulcan, adviser, and are the last of our kind. I know that which you are implying, but it is not your place to do so, and I would advise you" She fixed him with a glare that he recoiled under. "To remember your place. The Ambassador is under no laws of your making, and as such, his choice of mate has been, and forever shall be, his own. Your input is neither needed nor necessary."
"Lady T'Pau, may I speak, since it is clear that the adviser will not let this rest without some answer from myself, and there are far more important things still to discuss?", Sarek asked calmly, his arms clasped behind his back. Spock's eyes rested on his father as T'Pau nodded, and Sarek approached the table. "Adviser, I will allow only one question and one answer on the subject of the Lady Amanda's and my marriage. Speak."
"Why have you not gotten married again after her death?", Stonn shot back. Sarek went quiet as all eyes watched him. Jim had wondered that a time or two himself, but had never asked the elder Vulcan. He'd spoken to Spock about it, but his mate had told him that it was no affair of theirs to become involved in.
"As you mentioned, Adviser, I am an ambassador. In the two years since we began colonization on this new planet, I have returned exactly four times, each time to meet with my son and son in law. In the aftermath of the destruction of our home world, it has been necessary for me to take up the responsibilities of the Ambassadors who were not as fortunate as I in their escape efforts. This has required me to travel to corners of the universe to ratify alliances and treaties, to assist in terra formation, to contribute to the unification of our people and our Romulan brothers and sisters, all the while staying true to my original post of Ambassador to Earth. I have been doing all that can be done from my position to assist in our people's revival and rebuilding efforts, and that has delayed any attempts I may have made in finding a, quote, 'more suitable mate'. Perhaps when our people are again standing firmly amongst the Federation, I will consider potential mates, but now, to divide my time between our home, our allies, our people, and the consuming search for a mate would be reckless, illogical, and ultimately... detrimental to our people's survival efforts. I hope that answered your query, adviser.", Sarek explained calmly. Jim noticed that Spock had turned a rather concerning shade of pale green at his father's mention of marrying again, and that Sarek refused to meet his son's eyes after his explanation.
"A model of logic, as always, Ambassador. We should all be as firm in our convictions as you.", Stonn praised, but to Jim's ears, that didn't sound like a compliment as much as it did a sarcasm laced insult. From the look on T'Pau's face, Jim wasn't the only one who thought that. "However, if they'll allow it, I have a question for your half breed son and his human pet."
"You ignorant-", Jim began to answer fiercely until Spock put an hand on his shoulder.
"Speak briefly, Adviser. The Captain and I are due back to the Enterprise shortly.", Spock ground out, all but daring Stonn to ask his question.
"Spock, we have been acquainted since nearly birth. I thought you, of all Vulcans, would want to do all you could to save your family's good standing, after your father's marriage to your mother compounded on the follies of your brother -", Stonn began to elaborate, and Jim's expression twisted to one of shock. Spock had a brother?
"I said speak briefly, Stonn. If your purpose was to re-educate the council on the short comings of my family, you are wasting the time of all those present. What is the question you wished to ask Jim and I?", Spock cut him off harshly.
"Humans are decidedly harsh creatures, are they not, Ambassador? Your Captain's words to you before your fight aboard the Enterprise prove that. I do wonder what your human mother would say if she were to find out that you had abandoned your people in their time of need to remain bonded to a human male and travel space. Would she be shamed, disgusted? Would that not be what the humans call irony, if your dead mother, who you've caused all manner of shame for your father over, turned you away because you chose this human over a Vulcan?"
Jim couldn't believe how stupid this guy was being. Stonn was pushing every button on Spock's control board, and Jim had the fleeting thought that if Bones had been there, he'd have high tailed it back to Enterprise to get the strongest tranquilizer in the sickbay because damn, we're they going to need it if Spock decided to see if he could pop Stonn's head like a grape. Jim could see the rage as it coiled in his mate's shoulders, but Spock's face remained passive, with only an eye twitch to show that he was quickly approaching the point of no return.
"First, Stonn, that was three questions. However, since you are clearly subpar in terms of academic capabilities, I will permit and answer them.", Spock replied calmly, his hands clasped loosely behind him. "What you've said regarding humans is, in basic fact, accurate. I have only lived amongst them for a short time, but I have seen humans act in revenge, anger, hurt, hate. They can, in the correct circumstances, be savage, unforgiving creatures who would kill many without regret. However, I have also seen them act out of love, friendship, respect, trust, dignity, rationale, and even when the situation was entirely inappropriate, I have seen certain humans act with compassion towards those who truly did not deserve it."
Spock looked at Jim as he said this, and both smiled at the memory, remembering the first of many hushed conversations they'd had in front of someone trying to kill them. Nero, though angry, hurt, and a victim in his own right, had deserved to die a fiery death, but Jim had stopped to try to show him compassion for Spock's sake, thereby laying the foundation for the friendship Spock Prime had so fondly hinted at. Spock's eyes fell back to Stonn, and the smile evaporated like water in the Sahara.
"As to the second and third quandaries, I will say only this. I am not ashamed of my human mother. She gave up her life on Earth because she loved my father, and later changed her customs because she loved me and wished to ease my transition into Vulcan society." Spock's voice broke ever so slightly as he spoke, but his gaze never left Stonn. "I am proud to say that my mother was a school teacher back on Earth, nurturing and teaching life's lessons to those who were fortunate enough to meet her. She gave up her world for love, for the love of a man from a species unlike her own."
"Love is a Terran emotion, Spock. You know it has no place in our world.", Stonn scoffed. Spock closed his eyes for a moment, then held the other Vulcan's gaze. Stonn visibly shook from whatever he saw in Spock's eyes, and it didn't take an IQ like Jim's to figure out why. Spock's eyes were reflecting every emotion he felt, all of the pain and sadness and regret, and Jim knew that his mate was intense when he spoke of Amanda on a good day. Right then, Jim didn't blame Stonn for shaking at that tidal wave of emotion.
"You are correct. It does not have a place in our world. But it had a place in her's, and I am fortunate enough to have been a part of that world. I pity you, Stonn.", Spock answered softly. The words of his mother from so long before returned to him, and it made the next words easier. 'As always, whatever you choose to be, you will have a proud mother.'
"Why?"
"Because your world is devoid of that love that makes the long days lighter and the darkest nights bearable. Your world has no place for love, yet mine does, because of my mother. And I would not trade that world for the respect of all the Vulcan people, living or dead, and especially not yours." Jim had never been so damn proud of his mate as he was in that moment, and he'd also never been so near to crying in front of a panel of Vulcans since he interrupted T'Pring's attempt to press gang Spock into a wedding.
"Your time among the humans has made you weak, Spock.", Stonn intoned, though everyone in the room could see T'Pring pondering the words of her ex-fiance.
"It is truly odd that you would say that, Stonn.", Sarek put in, standing at Spock's side. Spock looked at his father, and Sarek placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "As I believe Amanda would say, to love and be loved in return is the greatest strength a man can possess. And, if I may, I believe I have an answer to your second and third questions. Amanda was too loving a person to ever do anything but love our son, regardless of whom he chose to be with. And if asked, as I did many times after Spock enlisted in Starfleet, she would only say that she was happy he was doing something that made him happy, and that Spock had proved once again that he was indeed his father's son."
Stonn remained silent, realizing that he was face to face with an emotionally united father and son, and that this was one fight that he wouldn't be able to win. The Adviser stood in silence, and that silence was all that could be heard as everyone in the hall processed what Spock and Sarek had explained about the Lady Amanda. Jim fancied he could read regret on many of the faces in the room, and recalled Spock's tale of how his mother had been silently plagued for years by the disapproving stares of the Vulcans whenever she and Sarek made public appearances. An emotional human on a planet of emotionally repressed empaths wasn't a comfortable situation, but Amanda dealt with it beautifully, even managing to bond with T'Pau, who'd been her friend since she'd realized that the Ambassador's wife was no weaker than she for being a human.
The silence shattered when both Jim and Spock's communicators sounded, followed by Bones' voice. 'Damn it, Jim. You missed your check in. Chekov's about to have a heart attack out of panic, so tell us you two are alive and put the boy out of his misery.'
"Spock and I are fine, Bones. Just dealing with a little image problem.", Jim answered quickly, knowing that Bones wasn't exaggerating. Though Chekov could pin down and transport moving targets at 30,000 feet without breaking a sweat, the boy was a stickler for check in time adherence. When Sulu had missed his check in during a recon to an uninhabited alien planet (hereby meaning that Starfleet was too lazy to check it out before, so they sent Kirk and his ship in to investigate), the Russian had needed to be banned from communication access in case his worried call got the away team killed.
'Well get your asses back here. Uhura's picked up some transmissions from a twentieth century space vessel called the Botany Bay, and she wants Spock and you to listen to them.', Bones explained, and Sulu's snickering could be heard in the background as he mocked Chekov for his protectiveness.
"We're on our way. Get Scotty to arm the transporter.", Jim replied, receiving an affirmative before Bones hung up on him. He turned to Spock and shrugged. "We're being called back for a bit."
"I heard. Father, council. I apologize for the deterrence our presence has caused during the meeting, but we must return to the ship.", Spock excused.
"Of course.", Sarek agreed. "One can hope that your next visit will be marked in a different manner. Send my greetings to Lt. Uhura."
"Cap'n, Mister Spock. Are ye ready to beam aboard?", Scotty's voice asked.
"We're ready, willing and able, Scotty. Beam us up. Sarek, council members, Stonn, T'Pring always a pleasure. We'll be back soon.", Jim bid farewell as Spock simply preformed the customary 'Live long and prosper' sign as the two vanished into thin air back to the Enterprise.
Sarek watched the spot where his son had been standing moments before, and then felt his son's future counter part approach him from behind. He turned, and was met with a knowing smile trying to hide the utter terror reflected in his eyes. For what reason, Sarek could not guess.
"What is on your mind?", Spock Prime asked, his arms clasped casually behind him. He'd been standing in the upper levels of the hall, being sure to remain out of Jim and Spock's sight during the meeting. Though T'Pau and Sarek were aware of who he was, the other members of New Vulcan were not, and Spock Prime would have preferred to keep it that way.
"I find myself wondering about my counterpart in your time line, and Amanda's. You once told me that the feelings that bind my son and his captain together were present in your time as well.", Sarek answered.
"And so they were. I loved my James Kirk for what I considered the best years of my life, and for those, I wouldn't trade a thing.", Spock Prime answered as the council resumed around them with T'Pau reprimanding Stonn for disgracing the Vulcan Council in front of two Federation representatives. "I sense though that that is not all that weighs on your mind?"
"My other self... Did you and he ever repair the damage done by the argument over your joining Starfleet?", Sarek asked. Spock Prime looked at the floor for a moment, then back up at Sarek.
"Yes, in time. I had been with Starfleet for going on 30 years before we had cause to mend that rift, and Mother had passed on by then."
"I see. And did she know, of your feelings for your Kirk?"
"Mother was the first, beside Bones of course, to know the truth. She knew before I did."
"That was indeed Amanda's way." Sarek stared out the window of the hall, then let out a sigh.
"You are troubled."
"Did I know?" The weight of that question was unmissable. Spock Prime remained silent for what seemed like hours to Sarek, but when he looked up, there was nothing but tired peace in the eyes of his son's counterpart.
"I think, in your heart, you knew. But, you also knew that I was the child of two worlds, and would forever be at conflict with either side of myself. Falling in love with my commander would, in your eyes, do nothing to help that conflict. After a time, and I suspect some meddling from Mother, you saw that my Jim brought me peace and helped me grow as both a man and a Vulcan. As a matter of fact, when I died and transferred my katra to Bones, you were furious because you knew Jim was the only one I would have trusted my katra to for safe keeping, but time was pressing, and drastic actions were needed. You believed in my faith in Jim, and trusted him to bring me back home."
"I am happy for you, and hope my son finds that same happiness. Though I could do without his demise. I have already lost his mother, to lose Spock would be the end of me."
"Rest assured that as long as James T. Kirk lives and breathes, your son will never been lost to you for very long. My Jim always hated how the argument between myself and my father upset me, we had many discussions and arguments on the subject. But, he knew as I did that Vulcans are incredibly stubborn." Spock Prime looked as though he was going to say something else when T'Pau called for him to re-join the council so they could get back down to business. "No rest for the wicked, I suppose."
"A Terran expression? I've not heard any since Amanda was alive.", Sarek commented with a half smile at the memories of the many discussions between he and Amanda about the affairs of Vulcan politics. She'd use the phrase 'No rest for the wicked' whenever Sarek was called away.
"Mother was fond of it. I'm afraid I must be going, the council will not wait forever. And if I'm not mistaken, you're due to leave for the Centauri galaxy within the hour.", Spock Prime reminded him.
"You are correct. I will see you upon my return.", Sarek agreed, then gave the customary sign of farewell. Spock Prime stayed where he was as his counterpart's father walked towards the hall exit, and smiled when Sarek stopped. He turned and met Spock Prime eye to eye.
"I have one more query.", Sarek told him. Spock Prime nodded silently, waiting for him to continue. Sarek hesitated, then spoke. "Spock's words have made me think of what Amanda went through over the course of her life with me. Her life was not an easy one, needing to deal with a society that frowns upon emotional expression. I need to know, did she regret-"
Spock Prime held up a hand. "Father, I promise you this. In any time line, I am certain that nothing could make Mother regret her choice. She made that choice out of love, and loved you every day of her life. Do not let their words make you doubt your life together, short as it was. There are some things that are just meant to be, and you and Mother being together is one of them. I have no doubt that you will be together again."
"When she died, was she..." Sarek couldn't finish the thought, and Spock Prime went quiet for a few moments to think of an answer.
"When Mother died, it broke the heart of every person who'd ever met her. But she died peacefully, asleep in your bed on Vulcan.", Spock revealed. "The entire Federation arrived on Vulcan for the funeral in some shape or form, to support you and our people in this time of loss. But, as you said in her eulogy, she had lived a full life and had a family that she loved, and who loved her."
"I wish I could have made her life easier for her. I... felt selfish." Sarek allowed himself a brief lapse in logic, but that was hardly a surprise when it came to Amanda.
"Each life has its own hardships to deal with. It is how we grow. And Mother never begrudged you living on Vulcan.", Spock Prime answered. The older Spock saw the indecision on the face of his younger self's father, and knew what he was trying to ask but didn't know how. "Father, rest your mind. In time, you and Mother will be together once again. And I am certain that you will make her as happy in that lifetime as you did in this one, and in my own."
Those words seemed to wipe the clouds off of Sarek's face, and he gave Spock Prime a simple nod, then exited the hall while the laughing eyes of his son's counterpart turned from the door to the meeting.
Sarek arrived at his home, going over his mental list of needed belongings to bring with him to the Centauri galaxy. As he rifled through his chest, inspecting clothing to take with him, he came across a wrapped picture frame. Sarek recognized it instantly, and gently unwrapped it. The day after Amanda and he were married, Sarek had requested the photos and videos of their wedding to be uploaded to a set of personal, portable picture frames, knowing of Amanda's love of pictures.
He held the black metal frame in his hands while he sat carefully on his bed, feeling the weight of his years laying heavy on his shoulders. He glanced through the electronic photos, remembering how, though Vulcan weddings frowned upon it, Amanda had told him point blank that she was smiling for her wedding photos, damn it. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Her smile blazed out at him from each picture, taking a little bit of the tension from his shoulders and the headache from his clouded mind.
The Ambassador thought back to Stonn; his tactics earlier had no doubt been his way of emotionally attacking Spock. And bringing Amanda's memory into question as he did had almost, in the words of his son in law, earned Stonn a one way ticket to a world of hurt. Sarek knew Jim would be curious about all he had learned that day, and was anticipating messages from his son about what he could and could not tell Jim. Spock had informed Sarek when Jim began questioning why Sarek had remained widowed so long after Amanda's death, and Sarek had told him to use his best judgment. Clearly, that had not been in error, because Jim knew nothing about his true reason.
To the end, Sarek was glad Jim hadn't come to him and asked. He knew his son in law had good intentions, but those often lead down the road to Hell. Hell, in this case, would be the public scandal Sarek would be faced with until the end of his days should anyone but he and Spock (and perhaps T'Pau, but there was nothing she wasn't aware of.) find out that, great intellectual Sarek was, he would rather face the blood fever and be burned alive than marry or mate with someone who was not his Amanda. It was illogical and unhealthy; he was aware of that. But, after two years without Amanda, Sarek was quickly reaching the end of his rope. At least if the blood fever took him, the pain that radiated from his heart would finally stop, and they could be together once again in a new life.
Aww... I want to just hug Sarek. ST:2009 was the first exposure I had to Star Trek, but Amanda's death broke my heart. As to the story, Sarek seemed OoC to me towards the end, but I kept re-writing the dialog between Sarek and Spock Prime and none of it really seemed right, but I knew if I didn't let it go, it would just keep kicking around my USB. Although, am I the only one who gets a smile when they think of Spock Prime helping Sarek accept Amanda's passing? Or just a smile at Spock Prime in general? =D And, T'Pau is awesome! I had to include her in this. It's just not New Vulcan without T'Pau.
Hope you enjoyed it, and feel free to review. You know the drill with flames; should there be any, I'll be hosting a Hawaiian luau. Everyone is welcome to attend. =) And, now that this is at last finished, I can get to work on my sequels. They're just staring at me from my computer screen, begging to be written... It's kind of creepy.
If anyone caught the song reference, I both commend you, and blame GLEE. I love Jesse (aka Jonathan Groff). The day I started this was also the first time I heard him singing the song in question. The song has been stuck in my head ever since, I can't help it. =P So clearly, I own nothing related to any version of the song.
So long, folks. 'Til next time.
(L) Oracle.