Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Thus Spake Zarathustra
"I cannot believe we're letting her do this." Dean grumbled under his breath.
He was standing outside the door of Bobby's hospital room with both his brother and the Angel Castiel, watching the gurneys trundle by. Gail Olivia Sparks had given him the death glare when he'd made fun of her alphabet soup symbols. The ones' she'd been writing with a black ink sharpie down Bobby's back, right along his spinal cord.
In Dean's defense it had looked weird and what was weirder was the name she'd given it…
"You were the one who made that crack about Celestial Geometry." Sam responded. His arms were crossed pensively over his chest as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. A couple of times since they'd been kicked out, he'd been tempted to push the door open, but he hadn't wanted to distract Gail. She'd been irritated enough by laughter.
"Hey now," Dean lifted his hands, another smirk blossoming across his face. "You were the one who laughed."
"Celestial Geometry is a very intense and delicate form of magic." Castiel said. His face was a blank slate as he looked at them, but the corners of his eyes twitched a little in irritation.
Both boys looked at each other and Dean snorted. "Yeah, writing equations on Bobby's back. That sounds like it'll work."
"It requires a great deal of concentration, Dean." Castiel replied. "I am not surprised she expelled you from the room." He took a deep breath. That was one of the inconvenient things about wearing a mortal shape, breathing. He'd never needed to do that before. Now it was always necessary. "A single misstep in the crafting of those symbols could have drastic consequences."
That lent a sobering silence to the group as Dean and Sam glanced at one another again. They weren't particularly happy with this whole arrangement. Dean didn't trust Gail and with good reason, he knew nothing about her. I can't believe Bobby agreed to letting her work her mojo on him. Dean had a deep suspicion of everything magical. Is that surprising? I mean, everything I've ever run into has been, well, evil. He frowned. Which means she's evil too. He'd have to find someway to kill her before she hurt the people he loved.
An how you gonna do that short stack? A snide voice hissed in the back of his head. She wiped the floor with you last time. Well, her alter ego did anyway. And if you lay a hand on her you know that thing is gonna come spittin' out ready for blood.
There's always, Cas. He wouldn't let anything happen to him.
She ain't scared of Cas, stupid.
The other angels then, if I die Zach'll just bring me back.
Zach can't find you and anyway, what's to say she won't just kill you?
Not if the angels kill her first. That was a good plan, a sound plan. But there was just one hiccup.
That means lettin' the angels find you. Do you really want that?
He didn't. Dean glanced at Castiel and opened his mouth.
"What is Celestial Geometry?" Sam asked. "I've never heard of it before."
"However you phrase that it sounds retarded." Dean chuckled.
"It's a written language, an ancient form of hieroglyphs, each one has incredible power. The form of magic is sometimes referred to as Celestial Geometry for the way it positions the symbols on the body to form meaning and the incantation. The symbols reflecting basic star patterns." Castiel shook his head. "It is very powerful and requires many years of study in sorcery. I was not aware Mace possessed such a skill." Castiel looked down the hall and then back at the closed door to Bobby's room. "Perhaps he doesn't."
"She." Sam said. "Gail has always referred to her other half as a she."
"He or she it does not matter." Castiel said. "Not to their kind."
"What?" Dean asked.
"They are immortals, Dean." Castiel said. His voice was dull but Dean thought he could hear something held back behind it. Irritation maybe, but it was more than that. Anger? "But a very different kind than my brethren."
"Then what are they?" Sam asked.
"Undocumented." Castiel replied. "You will not find them in any sort of lore or mythology." A small smile tugged the corners of his mouth. "Well you might, but not as themselves, not as what they are. Sometimes they are great heroes and occasionally great villains. Sometimes they appear as natural disasters, other times they are remembered as pagan gods."
"But what are they?" Sam repeated.
Castiel glanced at Sam for a long moment, a small frown creasing his forehead. Telling them this was hard, harder than he'd thought it would be. Though Castiel had sided with the brothers against the angels, he still found it difficult to divulge Heaven's secrets, secrets that had been kept to protect the greater universe. He stared at the boys for few seconds, knowing that he did not have all the answers to their questions. He only knew the story he had been told.
"Telling you that girl's story will mean that I have broken one of Heaven's highest commandments, one of God's most secret laws. There is a truth to this universe that only they and we know." Castiel shook his head. "And even if I did say, you would not believe me."
"Why not, Cas?" Dean demanded. "I'm getting a little tired of all the secrets and the runaround! The Christians and the Jews and the Muslims all know about you angels, why don't they know about…" He trailed off and jabbed his finger back towards the hospital door. "Her?"
Castiel's eyes snapped to Dean. He paused as anger flowed through him. How dare this boy ask for such a thing, how dare he! "After all that I have given you," he said. "Does it mean so little that you demand God's greatest secret?"
"You don't have to tell them, angel." Gail's voice came from behind them. She was leaning against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest. She tipped her head to the side, a small smile on her lips. "I can discuss it with them later. It might help coming from someone who, kinda sorta, vaguely remembers the event as opposed to the person who just knows the legend." She glanced at the boys for a moment. Dean was staring at her with a very disgruntled, angry look on his face. Clearly, he didn't like her interrupting his Castiel time. "What?" She asked. "You shocked that the angels don't know everything? That they're daddy or whatever god they worship decided to keep it a secret from them?" Gail shrugged and tucked a loose strand of brown hair back behind the curve of her small ear. "Cause I'm really not." She cast Castiel another long look. "He's oddly schizophrenic like that."
"How dare you speak so of our Lord and Father!" Castiel hissed.
Sam opened his mouth and then paused, realizing in that moment that she'd said "they worship" not "we worship". Then who does she? Does she even believe in god? He supposed that was a question that could be asked later, at the moment he was having a hard enough time dealing with the mystery of what she was, or what she claimed to be. Castiel recognized her, which means she isn't lying. And he'd seen two different sides of her, two radically different sides. Which might just be a symptom of a split personality disorder. His brother however, wasn't quite so aware.
"Oh, like you're one to talk about being schizophrenic!" Dean snorted.
"I suppose it takes one to know one." Gail said with another casual shrug. "Crazy is as crazy does they say." Her lips yanked into a wide smirk. "Though with you I wonder if it's just a rampant case of idiocy. I could break that hard head, maybe it'd help you think more clearly."
"Go ahead and try!" Dean growled.
"I thought I already succeeded." She wrinkled her nose in distaste. "Clearly it didn't take."
"Enough!" Sam yelled. He rounded on his brother. "Dean, this isn't helping us get any closer to the truth."
"Go ahead, Sammy." Dean snapped. "Side with the monsterous hellspawn over your own family, it's what you always do!"
"Wow," Gail sighed. "He really is dumber than he looks." She tapped her cheek with a slow finger. "Maybe it's a blonde thing or a hazel eye thing, or just a human thing. It could be a human thing. Maybe it's a Winchester thing." She gave Dean another once over. "Is your stupidity conferred genetically? Or did your father drop you on your head as a child? I wouldn't be surprised if he did."
"Don't you dare talk about my family!" Dean roared rounding on Gail. "Don't you dare!"
"Silence!" Castiel's voice brought Dean back to his senses and he glared at the angel for a long moment. "Your brother is right, Dean." He said. "This is not the place or the time."
Finally, Dean nodded and turned back to Gail.
"So, what's the story then?" Dean demanded. "What makes you so special? And what the hell did you do to Bobby? You better not have screwed him up with your freakin' mojo!"
"She didn't screw me up any worse, Dean." Bobby's disgruntled voice growled from within the room. He wheeled forward, wincing in his chair as the entire group turned to face him. "I'm the same as before." He glared at Gail for a long moment. "She just ain't the miracle worker she promised she was."
"So you can't walk?" Dean asked. He stared down at Bobby, once again feeling his hopes dashed to the floor. Bobby was yet another reminder of his failure to protect the old man. Bobby had taken the knife for Dean, he'd fought through the possession and it had gotten him gravely wounded, stuck in that wheelchair. Having him healed would have taken away some of the guilt, not all of it but some. He glanced at Gail and watched her shake her brunette head with a loud sigh. I guess she's not any better than the angels. They'd promised to heal Bobby if Dean accepted Michael. Selfishly, he had refused. If it wasn't for me, Bobby would be walking.
"Does it look like I can, genius?" Bobby asked. "What the hell do you think I'm still doing in this damn chair?"
"I already told you that I've lost a lot. Mostly I'm working off of instinct not knowledge." Gail replied. "Adding to that I'm not completely awake, that she's not, and there are restrictions on this reality, on the things I can and can't do." She fixed Bobby with strangely solemn eyes, the first Sam had seen from her. It was an oddly genuine expression. "In the face of all that, you got a pretty damn good deal old man. The spell has sunken inside you and its already taking effect. You should be able to tell that by the pain you feel." Slowly, Bobby nodded but the anger in his eyes didn't go away. "But like I said, it's going to take time."
"So I'm just supposed to sit in this damn chair while the Apocalypse is ragin' outside?" Bobby growled.
"Magic is magic." Gail shrugged. "It works as it wills. With the way I am, who I'm working with, and what's going down, you should be glad it happened at all." She lifted her hand and spread two fingers, index and middle. "Two years, that's what it's going to take. Two years to heal your spine and de-age you by five. The de-aging might seem unnecessary I suppose, but it was the only spell I could remember off hand."
Bobby stared at her for a few more long moments, evaluating her. Gail met his stare with the same mild expression. She didn't seem all that apologetic; in fact the slight smile that tugged the corners of her mouth indicated that she was proud of what she'd done. Standing in front of him, Bobby noted that she appeared to be a normal twenty year old, maybe one a little run down around the edges, ragged in appearance, like she'd been traveling for a long time. Her clothes were stained, her jeans frayed at the bottom, her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. Dark circles were shadowed beneath her eyelids, a sign of someone who had not slept well in a very long time. But from what he'd seen earlier something much darker lurked beneath that surface, something that was old and dangerous. And that magic she worked. He'd never seen it's ilk before. Not from any witch, shaman, or hoodoo priest I ever saw. She was dangerous. Well, as if that ain't obvious. The other side of her personality had threatened a damn angel. Kid ain't lacking for courage. If a kid was what she was. Bobby doubted that part too.
"Fair enough."
"Bobby!" Dean snapped. "You can't seriously be trusting what she says! She's some kind of witch!"
"Witch being code word for someone who needs to be taken out behind the woodshed and shot?" Gail asked, with a quirk of an eyebrow. "My, my, aren't you blunt." She paused. "Bold too, threatening the person who just helped your friend. Stupid too, but that's already been well established. I'll remember be remembering this the next time you ask for help."
"I doubt I'll ever be asking for your help, lady!"
"Really?" Gail shrugged again. "I suppose just have to wait and see on that count, won't we?" She smiled at Castiel for another moment and tossed her head. "Anyway, I thought you wanted to hear a special story? The super secret, no mortals allowed, cut your throat, burn your eyes out if we tell you, sworn into eternal secrecy story of how she came to be." She paused again. "Er, came to be what she is, I mean. Sharded, if you will. That's the proper term for it anyway. Sharded. Well, Eternal is another good one. That would be the proper title."
"Spit it out." Dean snapped.
"Dean." Sam's voice held another warning, one that his brother was refusing to heed.
"Such a gentleman." Gail rolled her eyes. "So patient, so full of warmth and kindness. No wonder the angels picked you out of all the billions to save the world." She tilted her head again and lifted her chin with a smirk. "Guess Buffy wasn't available, huh? Ok, I'm gonna give you the Cliff's Notes version explanation." She paused again and glanced at Dean, smiling wryly. "Scratch that, you're not smart enough for Cliff's Notes. Dr. Suess level is better. Hmm," she tapped her chin. "I wonder if I could even do it in iambic pentameter. Nah, I've got no talent for poetry or limericks." She glanced at Dean again. "Though it would be fun to make you suffer that way."
"If you are going to tell them, tell them, but we are wasting time." Castiel said, his monotone belying his growing impatience.
"Careful, Castiel." Gail said. "I can feel the mortality creeping up on you." She laughed. "Which is actually kind of funny, you know, given the circumstances of what you are. But I really am beginning to wonder who started yanking the stick out of your ass."
"I thought we were talking about you." Sam said. "More specifically the thing inside you, what it is, and why—"
"She works for the Hierarchy?" Gail shrugged. "On that count I dunno, dumb luck I think. But I'll tell you what she is, whether your little brains are clever enough to grasp the concept however… Well, that I doubt." She tapped her chest. "Long ago, well if you want an exact time frame, fifteen thousand years ago, someone…" she paused again. "Or something, created what's known as the multiverse."
"Multiverse?" Dean asked.
"Fifteen thousand years?" Bobby demanded. "The universe wasn't created fifteen thousand years ago."
"With the time compression in this particular one, it wasn't." Gail agreed. "But a multiverse is a universe filled with parallel realities," Gail said, spreading her hands. "Like they tell you in Stargate, it's all true. There are billions of them, all filled with people, places, monsters, and cultures, all different and all echoing through each other. Some move faster and some slower, like this one, it feels like it's been billions of years and in here it has, though the reality is that it's only been fifteen thousand. But I suppose I can get to that later, I'm starting to get ahead of myself. But to understand about her, you have to understand that the Hierarchy, the angels, they don't just police this world. The war isn't just here, the rules here are not the same as the ones governing the reality next door, and that's important for you to remember if you want to understand." She sucked in a deep breath, tilting her head to the side again, her eyes going glassy as if she was listening to a far away voice. Dean didn't doubt that it was the voice of this "Mace" the being that was using her body as a time-share. "I am, or Mace is, and I suppose on some level it doesn't matter, what is called an Eternal. A being that has existed since the beginning, or maybe even before that, I'm not sure."
Sam nodded, he thought he was grasping the concept, but it still sounded to wild to be believed. He glanced at Castiel and realized to his surprise that though the angel was glowering at the young woman, he was also nodding in agreement. This can't possibly be true… He thought. Can it?
Gail blinked. "You see; the first memory Mace has is standing in a world of grey and a landscape filled with ash with fourteen others. Where they came from and who they were in the before, she doesn't know. She just knows that there was one and that she came from there." She glanced at Castiel whose glower had gotten deeper.
"But enough of my oh-so-delightfully fresh heresy, the legend that she knows and that Castiel wouldn't tell says that when God created the universe, He found that it could not sustain itself on its own and still deliver life. They say that God was lonely and He wished for life, so He created a source, a battery to power all the dimensions of the multiverse, to keep it online so to speak. He tried and failed, but this battery, this nexus could not exist on its own. It needed a host. But God knew the dangers of placing the nexus in a single being, knowing that He could not trust the safety of His universe to the life of only one. So, God searched, reaching outside His own creation for those who would be strong enough to bear His gift. He found fourteen and plucked them from their own places in time and bringing them to Creation, for God's universe was not the only place of life."
"Wait," Sam began. "What?"
Ignoring Sam, Gail continued. "Unknown to the others, He broke His nexus into fourteen pieces and placed it inside these mortal creatures, rendering them immortal and unchanging. But God knew His crime was great and to hide it from the others, He sealed His multiverse away, so that none might venture in or out. So jealous was God of His power and so fearful was He of the Others. After placing in them the pieces of the nexus and wiping from them all memory of the outside lands, God then knew he must create a system for them and those who would watch them for signs of treachery and bring order to His universe. So, God created the Angels next, and at the center of His universe, below the Holy Fields of Heaven, He placed Pinnacle, the gateway to the Underworld. But God did not yet know how to create life of His own, so the Angels were not truly alive but mechanical, beings known as constructs. But still, He feared an uprising from those He had stolen and placed in the Angels a greater strength, so that they might defend His Universe from those now called Eternals."
She glanced around the room with a slow sigh, seeing confusion on all the faces except Castiel's, he knew the story, but she also understood that he didn't believe a word of it. He trusted in the Angel's version, the one that gave no explanation for the differentiated souls of the Eternals.
"After Lucifer's uprising and being cast down out of Heaven along with one third of his brethren, the Eternals were split. Seven fell to aid the forces of Hell and seven remained at Pinnacle, loyal to their duties." She shrugged. " And that's one of the stories, I don't know if that's right or not, but it's the one that she…" Gail tapped her chest. "Believes and given that she is me and I am her, I'm inclined to believe it. But that might just be my personal feelings on the matter. Either way, they're here and they are what they are. But the reason why they're so secret is that if all fourteen are ever brought together again, they have the power to destroy the multiverse as we know it. That's the part everyone agrees on. Though at this point it's highly doubtful that you could actually get all fourteen into the same room. No, you can't get three into a room with one or both trying to kill one of the others. Does that help you? Or are your tiny mortal brains even more confused than before? I'm betting you are."
"Well, it's one I ain't one I ever heard before." Bobby said. "And I've heard an awful lot."
"It's a nice bedtime story." Dean said. "But that doesn't make it real."
"It is heresy." Castiel stated firmly.
"Suite yourselves, you asked for a story and I gave you one. If you can't wrap your minds around it, it's your own damn fault." Gail replied. "Doesn't change the way things are, what I am or what she is, or the fact that you two apparently broke this particular universe." She smiled after a moment. "Which if I personally have to thank you for."
"Thank us?" Sam asked. He'd been expecting some kind of talking to, a throw down of insults, or at the very least disapproval. What he hadn't been expecting was gratitude. The only ones who've ever thanked us are the demons and they're just glad to be out of Hell. It was a little unnerving to be honest.
"Yeah," she nodded. "Since I woke up like five years ago, I have been so damn bored! You have no idea what it's been like! I'm totally glad we're finally getting an apocalypse! Or she is, or she doesn't care, or she's just looking forward to breaking bones, I can never tell which. It might be all of them." She smiled at Castiel. "I'm so glad the angels finally decided to move up the time table on that, though I could have done without them yanking her, er, me off that assignment. It was sorta important."
"You did mention an assignment when we met." Sam said. "What exactly was it about? I mean, what do these Eternals do?"
Gail gazed at him for a moment. "Maybe when I like you better I'll tell you."
"The Eternals and their soul children the Ancients, do a variety of things for the Hierarchy." Castiel said. "They do recovery work for artifacts that have been either stolen, lost, or placed into the wrong hands. They change the course of history through assassination and other means. In a shortened explanation, they maintain balance within the different universes and fight on both sides of the war between Heaven and Hell."
"And sometimes they get really, really mundane jobs," Gail added sweetly as she glanced at Dean. "Like babysitting you."
Castile paused, glaring at her, irritated by the interruption. "Each of them have a certain task which they must carry out, but to know what those are one would have to ask them. Four of these fourteen have been famously noted in Revelations as the Horsemen of the Apocalypse."
"Though the bible gets it all wrong." Gail chimed in. "And the titles aren't permanent, they're rotating. If one isn't doing their job or dies on the job, they're given to someone else."
"So, that would mean…" Sam trailed off. This was all a little hard to take in. He found that he didn't like it. He wanted things to return to the way they were, when it had been just one universe. "Your job description is…"
"Sometimes it means ending the world, yeah." Gail nodded. "Good catch, Sammy boy, it's excellent to see one of you paying attention." Her dark gaze sidled to his brother. "Even if one of you is just picking his nose."
"Girl, I may not believe a single thing coming out of your mouth," Dean snapped. "But I'm paying attention. You're talking about alternate universes, these shard thingies that power everything, and ending the world. Or something. It's not that I'm not listening sweetheart, it's just that I don't care."
"Good," Gail smiled. "Then our apathy is mutual. And anyway Apocalypses don't mean much to her anymore. I mean hey, she's single-handedly been the cause of a couple and jumpstarted a few more. We all remember what happened to Atlantis."
"No." Dean said.
"It was destroyed." Sam responded, ignoring his brother.
"Exactly."
"If I recall correctly," Castiel said, his voice monotone as he glared at the young woman, his irritation showing in the bunching muscles of his shoulders. "You were the cause of Atlantis's destruction. Several times."
"I can recall at least five." Gail said, tapping the side of her head. "But I'm sure it's been more than that."
"Destroyed?" Dean choked.
"You destroyed Atlantis?" Sam asked. He was staring at her aghast.
"Well, not me personally. I wasn't there. I've only been her interface for the past six hundred years or so." Gail said. "She was the one who did it. Sometimes just for fun."
"For fun!" Dean's voice strangled in his throat, gaining an even higher pitch as it hit the confined space. He didn't like where this conversation was headed and he liked the subject even less.
"They weren't nice people, Dean." Gail said. Her voice was flat. "They were slavers, they practiced human sacrifice with slaves, those coming before the ritual animal ones, and if they weren't stopped, they usually went on to conquer the world. Those never become nice places to visit." Gail shuddered. "Believe you me. Plus," she added with a sigh. "They worshipped the stupid, pain in the ass Titans."
"The Titans?" Dean asked. "As in Greek mythology Titans? They're real?"
"Well, not here they weren't and they were real." Gail said. "I don't know if they are anymore, the ones that weren't destroyed got shut up in one of the worlds of the afterlife, Tartarus if I remember right. They've probably died of starvation by now. Very big, very destructive, very powerful, and not very pleasant. She doesn't like to talk about it. Though she'll happily discuss both her hatred of the Spartans and Hecate." Gail pursed her lips in a resigned pout. "She really hates Hecate. I mean really, I don't know what that goddess did, but Mace is still carrying the grudge." Gail shrugged. "Kinda weird, kinda sand, but hey, that's life right. I think Hecate was an old girlfriend but—" Gail paused and winced. "Ouch, clearly I've said too much. Shutting up now."
"But still," Sam began. "Wiping out an entire civilization as a form of entertainment..."
"Occasionally," Castiel said, his voice clipped as he stared at Gail. "Mace has been known to get bored."
"Like she is right now." Gail said with an easy grin. "Hasn't had enough heads to crack lately, she's getting all itchy and fight happy. Either way, she's got a six figure body count." Gail looked down at her fingers as if she was trying to count. "Or is it seven? Maybe eight? I'm never sure, she doesn't go into great detail."
"I believe changing the course of early human civilization is one of her specialties." Castiel said. "As is her colorful work history."
"Damn straight." Gail grinned. She glanced around the group and shook her head again. "But maybe we should be moving on to more cheerful subjects, I may love myself like a narcissist but she doesn't like to be talked about."
"I'm all for it." Dean nodded. He glanced at Bobby. "We've got more important things to discuss, like how we're going to stop an apocalypse."
Sam glanced at Gail, he'd wanted to hear more, learn more about this strange person and the creature living inside of her. He wanted to know about the realities that lay beyond this one, if there was really a world outside of this multiverse and if Gail could remember what it was like. She seemed quite adamant on the subject. He wanted to know about the time she called "the before". But he also agreed with Dean, he'd opened the final seal when he killed Lucifer, they had to find a way to fix what they'd broken. And maybe this Gail knows a way.
She hadn't seemed all that afraid of Castiel and she had helped Bobby. Even if it's not right away. Sam believed her when she said that the old hunter would walk again. He wanted to trust her. But I've trusted supernatural beings before. And it hadn't turned out well. Sam glanced at his brother, knowing that Dean didn't put Gail any higher on the food chain than the demons they hunted. From the look in his eyes, Sam knew that his brother wished he could hunt her. Though that might be a bad idea. A small part of him wondered if Gail had even begun showing them what she could do, she'd trounced them easily the first time, and Sam doubted that they'd fare much better without any preparation. If we're going to fight this "Mace" we need to learn more about it. And find out if they could get it out of Gail's body. There had to be a way to free her from it, Sam knew. There had to be.
"Fine." He nodded, turning to Castiel. If it was time to get back to business then it was time to get back to business. "What did you come here for?"
A/N: Now, we're getting into it. The explanations, the stories, the backgrounds of these characters. Not all of it, but there's a lot there, so it'll be revealed slowly. If you're interested keep on reading. I always look forward to reviews! Love 'em!
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