"How long were you watching me?" Rory asked
"After you got your arm caught in the hammock but before you twisted your leg and almost feel out," said Jess with a smirk
"I knew it!" Rory exclaimed. "It was you laughing at me, wasn't it? I knew I heard something."
"It was good natured I swear. Besides, I came down here and rocked you to safety so you didn't fall out."
"Oh well excuse me," said Rory jokingly with a fake southern bell accent while twirling her hair "sometimes I forget that I'm just a girl who can't defend myself." Jess hostility climbed into the hammock with her while Rory placed her book down and laid back.
"Just as long as you know it." He told her.
"So, where've you been all this time? We got here at five this afternoon."
"My work shift was from 12-6 and then I had class from 6:30-9." Rory shot up abruptly, as Jess had never been a huge fan of class of any sort.
"What kind of class?" She questioned. He hesitated and mumbled.
"It's nothing really, you know, just a GED class."
"A GED class!" she exclaimed. "I'm so happy for you. This is great!"
Jess shrugged, "It's not a big deal or anything. It's just two and a half hours on three times a week. I go to class, absorb it all and then breeze through the homework."
"It is a big deal though, a really big deal." A breeze came through and Rory wrapped herself up in the blanket. "With a GED you can go to college and get a better job. Do all those amazing things I always knew you could."
"Yea," he said looking over at her. "You always did believe in me when no one else did. Do you think you could do one more thing for me?" Rory leaned in and upwards anticipating a romantic embrace.
"Yes." She cooed in the sweetest voice she could muster. However, instead of feeling true love's first kiss Rory literally felt the rug or rather the blanket being pulled out from underneath her.
"I need you to share some of that blanket with me." Jess joked with her while snatching her blanket away.
"Jess!" She squealed loudly. He came back at her with just as much volume.
"What? I don't see a problem here. You clearly weren't that cold to begin with seeing as you're wearing a tank top. Besides, I guarantee you that it's warmer here tonight than any June afternoon in Stars Hollow.
"Na-uh" teased Rory, trying to steal her blanket back.
"Well Excuse Me!" Paris' voice boomed from the now open guest bedroom window. It was then that Rory realized how severely she and Jess had misjudged not only the volume of their voices but their distance from the house and now they would have to face the wrath of a cranky Paris. The best way to face that wrath you ask? Why head on of course.
Jess got out of the hammock and swaggered over to the window, Rory followed suit. "The famous Paris Geller," he said leaning an elbow on the windowsill. "I'm glad to see Yale hasn't softened you any." Rory came up next to him.
"What I am sure Jess meant to say was we're very sorry we woke you. We didn't realize we were being so loud and will make sure it never happens again." Paris tilted her head and crossed her arms.
"Well you are right, Rory. You were both being incredibly loud. Jess I can excuse though, I mean he's practically an orphan. No one ever taught him any manners. But you, you should know better. Now maybe your dewy eyes and waifish complexion happen magically but I need eight solid hours of beauty sleep or else I tend to get irritable."
"And we wouldn't want that now would we Ror?" Jess asked with just a touch of sarcasm.
"Ha-Ha," Paris mocked from the window. "I'm going to TRY to go back to bed now." And with that final grunt the windows finally flew shut.
Jess gathered up Rory's things and began to walk towards the house. He began, "in all seriousness Ror, you should probably get some sleep. I have the day off tomorrow and was planning on showing you guys around."
Rory's eyes brightened. "Really, did you make sure to Paris-approve all the activites?"
Paris' voice came bellowing down upon them again. "I heard that you two very loud, very annoying people! Oh Jess," she peaked her head out the window. "You should get to bed too. You see you're bunking with Glen and he's an even lighter sleeper than I am."
"Care to elaborate on Paris' most recent tangent?" Jess asked while opening the door.
"Oh don't worry. Glen's not that bad once you get used to his idiosyncrasies. Just remember whatever you do…don't make any sudden movements. You'll be okay." She said in an attempt to soothe him.
"Well thank you for that valuable tip." He countered back. "So, you umm know where the guest room is, where the bathroom is and you're already unpacked?" Rory cast her eyes at the hallway in front of her, knowing it was time to say good night and was a little sad.
"I'm okay. I don't need anything. Thank you though. For inviting Paris and me out here and for letting Glen tag along. The adjustment to Yale's been tough and it just so nice. It's like having a little tropical vacation. I'm sorry. I don't mean to ramble. What I mean is goodnight, Jess," With that Rory retreated to her room, full of embarrassment.
"Yeah, goodnight Ror," he said watching her walk away.
Jess wasn't quite ready to face Glen yet, not after reading about all his quirks in Rory's letters. He just didn't have the patience. He opted instead for a hot shower.
Rory, on the other hand wanted nothing more than to go to bed but just couldn't sleep. She sat in front of the mirror brushing the same part of hair over and over again. Having her hair brushed, either by herself or someone else always relaxed her.
Out of the corner of her eye Rory could see the monster known as Paris after dark rise out of her coffin-esque sleep.
"How long do you plan on keeping me awake with the incessant racket?"
"Paris, there's no possible way that you could of heard me brushing my hair. It's almost completely silent in here. You could hear a proverbial and literal pin drop," said Rory, placing her brush down.
"My hearing is very sensitive," Paris began re-fluffing her pillows. "When I was a baby I used to spend a lot of time in those wheel n' walk things, because you know my mother said that holding me raised her blood pressure and made the skin on her chest all blotchy. So one day they were fighting because my mother fired the maid, my father's current eye candy that day before so in revenge my father fired the pool boy. It was the middle of October so no harm, no foul there but our house quickly fell apart without a maid and it was just that same mess my parents were arguing about that I tripped over in my wheel n' walk and sent me flying down a flight of stairs."
"Paris!" Rory interrupted. "This story needs to wrap itself up into a beautiful Christmas present soon or else you will have no place to talk about my hairbrushing keeping you up all night." Paris grunted and grimaced.
"Anyways," she glared. "That was when I fell down the grand stair case from the master suite to the foyer. The doctor estimated it was a good two and half flights. Of course, I was all right being the fighter I am. Sometimes, I go partially color blind out of the corners of my eyes. The nice thing about that is how it heightened all my other senses to near superhero proportions. You know Rory, I am just a bad dye job and a ridiculous outfit away from being wonder woman."
"Gosh Paris it all makes so much sense now. All those times you've backed me into a corner with your lasso of truth. But riddle me this, how have you been getting the invisible jet past me all these years. Do you need a special permit to park that thing in the lot at school."
"You know what Gilmore, the sooner you let me finish, the sooner we can all sleep. And so…" she triumphantly said "It is because I have such super heightened senses that I can hear you brushing your hair for no good reason at eleven o'clock at night." In an effort to make amends Rory crawled to the edge of her bed, grabbed her pillow and hugging it tightly gathered up the most sympathetic face she could muster and said.
"I'm so sorry Paris, it's just that, brushing my hair relaxes me in that it clears my mind. And ever since we've gotten here I just can't stop thinking my mind is just whirling around and around with thoughts about…" Rory was rudely interrupted when she noticed a pillow came flying right at her.
"Jess!" Paris exclaimed "I know, everyone in this house knows, everyone in the golden state of California knows, even people in Cambodia know. The good people of Cambodia texted me just a little while ago and asked me when it would stop."
In that brief moment Rory ceased thinking instead, a light bulb went on above her head; she was on vacation—she didn't have to take this bullshit here. Oh sure, she put everyone's needs above her own back in Connecticut—no matter how ridiculous they may have been but they weren't in New England anymore. Oh no, this was the West Coast, the land of the hippies, and 90s punk rock and glamorous old Hollywood. This is a land where people didn't have a Governor they had a govenator and certainly in the land of the governator it's every girl for herself.
"You know what Paris?" She demanded, "You're just jealous. You're beside yourself with anger that I have a second chance at something real here because you know that Asher will never commit to you and even if he did it would never work out!" Vehemently, she yanked the comforter and sheet off her mattress and wrapped them around her pillow. She carefully grabbed something unidentifiable out of her luggage and stormed out. "If you feel like apologizing I'll be bunking with Jess and Glenn!"
At the other end of the hall Jess emerged from his hot shower and squinted in the bathroom mirror. There appeared to be some sort of note taped to it. Gingerly, he untapped the note and began to read from top to bottom… 'heights' 'spiders' 'driving by myself in the dark' 'reading by myself in the dark' 'sleeping in the dark' 'okay scratch those just the dark in general' 'taco day in the cafeteria' 'small spaces' 'large spaces' 'Paris at pretty much any given moment' 'driving a car at over 25 mph from November through March' 'Giant Gumballs' 'Flavored dipping sauces' "Diet Cola' "Roller Coasters' "Bays, but not beaches' 'axe body sprays' the list went on but Jess just couldn't find the patience to continue reading.
"Glen," he said swinging open the door "Why did I find a list of what I can only imagine to be your fears taped to the bathroom mirror." Glen sat up abruptly.
"Because, as you'll notice on the other side of the list that I am afraid of you. I thought that I tried to explain all my phobias to your face that I would set off your infamously short Italian fuse."
"First of all I'm Italian and Irish. Second of all it's time to lay down some ground rules. I won't do anything to you unless you give me good reason, which you won't."
"No! Never purposely but if I accidently did something would you warn me before you know unleashing your wrath." Irritated, Jess used every ounce of self control he possessed to not slam his closet door and unleash his wrath all over Glenn.
"Look Glenn," he said towel drying his hair. "I don't know what Rory told you about me or if she's even told you anything about me. But I don't have a violent temper. I don't even fight anymore and unless your some kind of paranoid, hypochondriac, obsessive-compulsive, anal-retentive nut job who never lets anything go you're not going to get on my nerves." Glen began to fidget with his hands.
"Well, if we're going to be truthful. I've actually been diagnosed with all those things." Jess closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"That's okay," he said grabbing some clothes and heading back into the bathroom. "At least you're not an asshole." Safely locked away in the bathroom Jess sighed deeply and began to rub his temples. He didn't know if he could do this for three weeks.
Old Jess would push all his anger down inside of him until it exploded upside Glen's head. But new Jess he had strategies to deal with frustrations like these. He would break down what seemed like the endless three weeks into smaller chunks of time. He only had to be alone with Glen when it was time to go to bed. And when you go to bed you should be sleeping and not talking. So if he could just keep the pre-bed chit chat to a minimum his sanity still might be intact three weeks from now. Taking a deep breath he walked back into the bedroom. "You don't mind sleeping on the cot do you, Glen?" he asked.
"Oh not at all. I much prefer being closer to the ground here in California. You see if we experience one of the freak earthquakes which the Golden State is so famous for any rubble which falls from the ceiling will hit you and I will have time to roll over into a protective shell."
Jess counted his blessings and pulled back the covers on his bed when he heard a knock at the door. "Come on in." he said, wondering who it could possibly be at this hour.
"Hi," said Rory as she came through the door meekly. "What are you guys up to?" Jess folded his arms complacently.
"We were just talking about how crazy Glen is?"
" Oh, good maybe he can go bunk with Paris and we'll put a big sign on the room that says 'crazy cabin'." Jess crossed his arms.
"What happened?" he asked, throwing his head back.
"Paris is insane that's what happened. We haven't even been here a whole day yet and already she's being completely unreasonable. So," she began in an assertive tone. "I'm going to stay here tonight."
"Where? Here?" Glen panicked "but there's only two beds. There's no room for you and that thing you're holding." He said gesturing to her worn out, stuffed cat. Rory hugged the stuffed animal close to her.
"Neither I nor, Mr. Mittens takes up that much space. Besides, if it's that big a deal I'll sleep on the floor."
"No, you can have my bed. I'll sleep on the floor. Glenn just stay there. Don't move, don't talk, and just don't do anything." Said Jess sharply.
Rory vaguely sensed that she was beginning to outstay her welcome and only 9 hours into her vacation. That is never a good sign. Exhausted, she climbed into her temporary bed and squirmed around trying to get comfortable. The bed was just so firm, it was like lying on plywood. She tossed aside her fluffy pillow. It did her no good, her head just fell through back onto the cardboard.
"Jess," she whispered into the darkness. He peered back up at her with his coffee colored eyes.
"What?'
"I can't sleep. How do you sleep on this bed."
"I don't know. How did you decided that Mr. Mittens was a good name." Rory gasped.
"Because, his paws are black and so when I was little it made me think he was wearing mittens."
"But, Ror, you wear mittens on your hands. Why would he wear mittens on his front legs, which are essentially his arms and his back legs, which are his feet. You don't wear mittens on your feet." He rolled on his side to face her better and smirked mischievously. Rory buried her face into her pillow.
"I know," she giggled "I was five when it happened though, so you'll have to give me a break. Besides, it's almost one I don't have time to sit here and debate with you over cat appendages and what kinds of clothing should be worn on them. We have to get up early tomorrow." She was surprised when she was met with silence. "Don't we?" she pondered into the darkness.
"Maybe," he said sitting up close to her face. "Maybe we're getting up early and all going to breakfast and than going around town. You'll just have to wait and see," and with that drifted to sleep.
"But Jess, Jess" she whispered frantically. "It's going to rain tomorrow." She gave up however, when she realized her cries were falling on deaf or rather sleeping ears.