This chapter is slightly different. It isn't Kat's p.o.v. it is her mother, Sasha's p.o.v… this is to explain the whole confusion over Xena and Kat.

DISCLAIMER: I do not Own Power Rangers SPD, Kat or Xena Warrior Princess blah blah blah…

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How dare you judge me? How dare you listen to Kat and presume I am a horrible woman who has hated her from birth? You are the one who has misunderstood me! You don't understand my ways, the things I've had to do. I love my clan so much and I did what I did so that the outcome for them would be for the better.

Imagine my joy when my sister, and our tribes healer, Hope, told me that the child I was carrying was destined to be our next healer – and one of the best that the tribe's ever had. But Scrouge wouldn't listen, of course he wouldn't. He laughed at me and Hope for believing such things. I knew that I had to protect my child from being forced into warrior-hood at the age of 5. So I gave birth to him in the jungle, in a place where Scrouge would never find us. Of course Scrouge was angry, he threatened to rip my throat out and sent his guards to find my son.

They didn't succeed.

Then, when my son was four, I found out I was to have another litter. This time when I asked Hope what my child's future looked like, certain looks flashed over her face, and she only responded to me "it's up to you to shape the child's future" and ran off. I ran into the forest and didn't go back to the tribe once until my daughter, Katherine – meaning pure – was born. I decided not to tell anyone about her, Scrouge would be even angrier than before, and this time he was sure to force me into giving up the location of my secret den!

Two days after my Kat had been born I returned to the tribe, as I used to for an annual visit. Scrouge seemed a lot friendlier than before and Tabbi was really riled that I hadn't told him about our second child. I went to Scrouge to tell him how I'd sighted a snake in the forest near the camp and he started flirting and then… I don't know what came over me or why I did what I did, and I regretted my pregnancy by Scrouge with every breath at first. I told Scrouge and he put me under heaps of pressure, telling me that our child would be the best warrior. I kept away from the tribe in that pregnancy too. I hid it from my two children by only approaching them in the dark. I gave birth in the forest, but this time snuck round the back of the tribe camp into Scrouge's den to hand over our daughter.

"I don't want the tribe to know I am her mother."

"Why?" Scrouge demanded.

"Because I have a daughter in the forest with my son. She'd only just been born when I found out I was to have your baby. She and her brother need me, because I am the only one who can care for them, and this baby will have many who will be willing to love her... I don't want to look bad before the tribe – I did betray Tabbi to give birth to your girl, and I may be prosecuted if they know," I explained. Not exactly a lie – Kat would have nobody else if I left her - but my other real reason was that I didn't want to disappoint Scrouge and raise another weak child like Kat. Hope heard of my plight, understanding that I felt more loyalty to the daughter of my mate than the daughter of a man who'd tricked me into the whole thing, and she understood that if the tribe knew, everyone would know I'd been disloyal to Tabbi. She vowed to Scrouge that my child alone would know who I was to her but only once she was 12, and the clan would not know. Hope agreed to do the job of mothering Xena, who was christened with a name meaning 'hospitality' which Scrouge said would remind him of the hospitality he showed me that night.

So I went back to Kat and Felix. As time passed however, it became more and more apparent that Kat was not half as strong as Xena. She found it a struggle to walk or crawl around and when I listened to her heartbeat it was faint and weak. Whenever I visited Xena she was a happy strong child, walking, crawling and talking away. I got more and more distressed as time went by; I felt I'd made the wrong decision completely. Why oh why, I'd ask myself, night after night, didn't I take Kat back and look after both my daughters? If Scrouge really loved me so much he'd respect my wishes about training. But I couldn't go back on what I'd done, and I couldn't risk the humiliation of everyone knowing I betrayed my mate for Scrouge. I'd lay awake for nights thinking about it, I paced the forest in distress; I couldn't face Kat because I knew that she'd taken my attention from Xena – a truer daughter, the one who was probably more worth looking after. I was bordering on mental insanity. So one day, I decided there was only one way out. I called Felix to my side and demanded he follow me. He did, all the way back to the tribe, and although they were not keen on strangers Hope and Scrouge stuck up for me, and we managed to convince them that Felix was the chosen one – the next healer. He soon made friends, and took naturally to his position as apprentice healer. Felix was happy, and he didn't need me there. I went back to Kat, and gave her food. She cried about her brother being gone but there was nothing I could do. I was going to leave Kat, leave Xena and leave the tribe altogether. Go to Lithe's tribe? Never! They are our sworn enemies, but I could wonder the forest alone, ignoring them. I just couldn't face my mistake in choice anymore. Every so often I would visit Kat, but when I saw how increasingly thin she was becoming, it became too much to bear, and I left her totally. I wandered the forest for about two years, feeding myself and not caring for any other being. I tried to kill myself a couple of times, but each time I just couldn't bring myself to do so.

One day, Scrouge found me wandering the forest.

"Sasha," He seemed amazed to see me. "Where is Kat? Surely she is old enough to be mentored now."

"Kat… died," I stammered, horrified to have bumped into him, but hoping beyond anything that my words were true. The image in my head of her skinny body was too much to think about.

"Well then why didn't you come back to us? To your family." I realized then that he didn't care about Kat. If I was to be able to get on with my life, maybe it was high time I didn't care either.

"I just needed to get out on my own. I wanted to know what lies beyond our restrictions." I growled. "I have, and it's been great. I need my freedom - why should I come back to you?"

"You need us." Scrouge growled straight back in my face. "Come back. You should see Xena; she is doing so very well. She has beaten Ice once or twice already."

I had to agree in the end. I visited Xena once, and Scrouge was right, she was doing so much better that Kat would ever have done. Kat was weak compared to Xena. Maybe Xena would prove a far truer daughter than Kat, never mind betraying Tabbi. That's when my mind turned. I was truly going insane. I hated Kat because she'd taken me away from a truer daughter. But I couldn't be proud and tell everyone I was Xena's mother, because I'd be hung for betraying my mate. I was floating in the middle and it tore at me every day more than you could ever imagine. I was going insane.

So imagine how I felt when Kat walked through those gates two years later. Imagine that sharp shove in the stomach at how thin she was – my own daughter. Yet the anger at the fact that SHE had taken me away from that truer daughter. I ended up bolting away as soon as Snake and Ice blocked her. It didn't seem fair that I had to look at her and be reminded of all my pain, and have it timesed by ten. I didn't want her coming anywhere near me, I wanted her to hate me so she'd stay away. And there was only one way of doing that. I had to hate her first.

Every excuse I got I'd be mean to her, and shower her with hate. I'd try to make her violent, so that maybe she'd get kicked out. Scrouge and Hope didn't know my plan. Hope was perfectly kind to my daughter and Scrouge told Kat off every time she became violent from my influence. I think secretly, Scrouge hated her too, for the same reasons. He'd wanted my attention to be focused on Xena but it hadn't been.

When she got her mate 'Frog' (Scrouge never keeps his promises of telling nobody) I used that, and her half-clan kids to be even more horrid. It tears me apart really. It still does that I ever had to do that to her. But it worked and now I don't see her. It was for my honour, Tabbis honour, so that I'd never get torn apart for betrayal, yet to satisfy my grief of giving up Xena. In the end Xena learned that I was her mother and she started to hate me too, asking Hope to reveal my secret before everyone so I'd be hung and out of her life. It took murder to keep my secret under cover and my own sister too. Do you know how much that hurt?

Now do you understand?

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Longer chapter! Any way, are you less confused now? I hope so. If not… oh well. Read it a couple of times and it should click eventually! Please Review!