Worse Than Death
First day, they come and catch us
The Deep Roads is where a Grey Warden goes to die. Everyone knows it, at least those with the taint flowing through their veins do. Death slumbered in the far reaches of every corridor so it was understandable why they journeyed here of all places. The Calling, a Grey Warden's final glory, as Alistair declared it, was an honored tradition. All Grey Wardens blessed enough not to die in battle experienced it. Though far from her final trial, Kirah felt this would have been a timely end. She could hear the deafening humming echo through her conscience, rattling within her skull. The Screaming, a Grey Warden's final slaughter, as Kirah declared it, was a necessary affair. All Grey Wardens damned enough not to die in battle experienced it.
Second day, they beat us and eat some for meat
Down in the darkspawn's territory, down in their home, it was as if Kirah walked in a waking nightmare. The Archdemon mocked her every fiber. Kirah brought a hand to her chest, palming her heart, its beat as heavy and as rapid as it was in her sleep. Habitual nightmares were nothing new to her, but this was different. The longer she remained trapped in stone, trapped within the beast's lair, the more intimate her relationship with the taint, with the Archdemon, became. They were in one another's minds, both parasites in a unified existence.
Third day, the men are all gnawed again
She wasn't much different from the dwarven woman, Hespith. Both followed someone they cared for in search of something seemingly out of reach, both came out of it a little…different. Kirah found herself relating to the ghoul and it petrified her. Hespith too had been infected and she too had survived, at least for now. Kirah lowered herself attempting to examine the twitchy dwarf. Rotting flesh covered Hespith's body and her eyes told only of betrayal. Fears enveloped Kirah, weighing heavily on her shoulders. She wondered if they both walked the same path, if she would become what Hespith had turned into…or was turning into. Shaking her head, Kirah convinced herself not to dwell on such disturbing thoughts, at least not now.
Fourth day, we wait and fear out fate
Blackness swallowed her, it was everywhere. It was inside her, beneath her, on top of her, consuming her. Darkspawn taint polluted the air and everything it touched. Death bit at the back of her throat, incinerating her insides as it coursed through her. Surveying her surroundings, Kirah took notice of the infinite piles of bodies that lay void of life. Some were charred, some half-eaten, others were simply discarded, but all were shrouded in darkness.
Fifth day, they return and it's another girls turn
The smothering stench engulfed Kirah's nostrils, burning as it traveled through her senses. She felt the rancid fumes in her nose, her mouth, her ears, and her eyes. An unnatural tingling sensation clambered along Kirah's body causing her to shudder in disgust. Putrid odors seeped through her robes, staining her once delicate skin. She couldn't escape its possession of her no matter how vigorously she clawed at the invisible vile. Bringing a hand to her throat, Kirah gagged unable to shake the feeling that the taint within her was rising to meet the taint crawling upon her.
Sixth day, her screams we hear in our dreams
Off in the distance Kirah could hear a cringe worthy sound. A sound only comparable to a rusted dagger slowly dragging on steel. Thunder of chattering insect limbs vibrated through the hallway. All Kirah wanted to do was turn around and run away. Run away to a place where she could hear her own footsteps again instead of this ominous blare. The Grey Warden, that sodding Grey Warden, in her prevented her from doing so. With sweaty palms, Kirah took a hold of her staff, signaling to the others to prepare for the worst, and pressed on.
Seventh day, she grew as in her mouth they spew
Bred from evil to breed evil, the monstrous creature was what the nightmares of nightmares were made of. A twisted behemoth of tentacles and breasts screeched, shaking the ground beneath it. It was a horrifying site to behold. Nothing of it resembled the dwarf it once was; the bright color of its skin its only connection to a feminine being. The blood of a recent meal stained the creatures exposed teeth. Kirah felt sudden tremors sting through her slender form as troves of darkspawn waited to be freed from within its massive swollen womb.
Eighth day, we hated as she is violated
It was a brutal fight. It was one of those battles that stories dare not tell. Severed tentacle remnants twitched around them. Kirah could still feel the hold one of those slimy appendages had around her waist. Its dominance slowly squeezing the life out of her as it trashed her frail form about like a chew toy in a mabari's mouth. Once the monster bored with molesting her body it tossed her aside as if to say she wasn't worth any more of its attention. Kirah wanted nothing more than to collapse, crawl inside herself and become one of the many bodies strewed about left for dead. Kirah couldn't do that however. The sight of her companions drenched in sweat and blood, standing after every fall, hacking their way through every wound gave her the strength and valor to see the battle to its end. They needed her, as much as she needed them.
Ninth day, she grins and devours her kin
Each of her comrades was bruised, battered, and definitely a little scarred. Alistair sat staring at his shield, or more accurately, pass his shield. He may have taken the final blow, but no amount of pride could erase what he saw or what he felt. Oghren swung his head back taking a slug of ale, hoping to flush the forced sobriety that fell upon him. Morrigan, in all her nonchalant air, leaned on her staff for support rejecting any concern glances aimed in her direction. As dismissive as she was, Kirah could see that this affected Morrigan as much as it did the rest of them. All of them would suffer from nightmares tonight, Grey Warden, dwarf, and witch alike. Breathing in the state of her party, Kirah promised she would see them out alive, yet as much as she hoped against it, not unchanged
Now she does feast, as she becomes the beast
Kirah slowly approached the lifeless creature, each step bringing her closer to a horrifying reality. She understood Hespith, understood what Hespith was becoming. Rage boiled in the pit of her stomach. She was a killer in life, and here laid proof that she might not only kill in death, but bear others that would continue to do so. Lightning began trickling from her fingertips as her emotions fueled her animosity. Kirah knelt down picking up a blade belonging to a fallen genlock. Corruption covered every inch of the weapon, Kirah didn't care. It was only as corrupted as she was anyhow. In one quick motion, she stood wielding the blade and with all the strength she could muster plunged the weapon deep into the creature's bright pink exterior. With bared teeth, Kirah freed the blade, gripping tighter.
"I…will…not…be…come…one" she vowed, each word accompanied by another violent stab.
"Perhaps it would be best to focus on the task at hand? T'is seems bit overkill after all."
Kirah paused at the taunting sound. Turning her head slightly, she met Morrigan eye to eye, her hazel ones piercing through Morrigan's yellow ones. A silent warning lingered between the two women. Morrigan's conveying just how foolish she thought Kirah to be and Kirah's demanding to be left alone. Kirah narrowed her expression as Morrigan crossed her arms, both women refusing to budge.
"It's not" was all Kirah could say, accepting defeat. Abandoning the blade, Kirah took one last repulsive look at the carcass. "I will not become…this"
The mental peace Kirah found during her waking hours had been stolen from her. At night, she was a hostage, a bystander in a darkspawn's playground, but while she was awake, she was the one in charge with the skills to slay her night terrors. Darkspawn she could kill. The Archdemon, she would be its death. This however would continue to torment her, even as it lay dead. In opens eyes and behind closed ones, there was this monster now, mocking her, refusing to loosen the grip its tentacles had on her. There was no running to her bed succumbing to sleep to wash away the hardships of the day. Not anymore anyways. Not since she became a Grey Warden. Not since she became…one of them. There was only this, in sleep and in wake, and there would always only be this.
They remade her in their image. Then she made more of them. Broodmother…
Kirah always believed she deserved to die, but now she knew…she needed to die.