The Witch Who Pretended
Lily Evans liked to pretend.
When she was younger and Petunia still talked to her, the two would play all sorts of pretend games. They played house, office, cat and baby. They played with dolls, stuffed animals and one time they even put dresses on sticks to make the sticks people.
Barbie dolls were an ingenious invention that Petunia and Lily put full use to.
Sometimes Petunia and Lily used to pretend that they were magical creatures that could do amazing things. Petunia was always a fairy and Lily was always the unicorn. Except on the days that they were being mermaids, those were fun too.
As Lily gradually began to realize that she was, well, special and she didn't know she was a witch, she pretended that she was normal. On those days, Lily managed to persuade Petunia to play the trivial games such as office or house. It made her feel safe and average.
Lily received the Hogwarts Letter with excitement, but no surprise. Severus had already informed her on the full details of the Wizarding World. Sometimes, when she was all alone, Lily pretended that she was a great witch who could do all sorts of fantastic things and was loved by everyone. Those games were secret though, because Petunia didn't like being reminded of Lily's gift.
And it was a gift. She was sure of it, why else would it be so amazing?
Hogwarts was even more incredible than Lily imagined. The hallways, portraits, even the staircases were fantastic. The teachers were all so interesting and the students were all very nice. Well, most were nice.
James Potter and his dumb friend Sirius Black were rather annoying. They were the least of her problems though. Occasionally, when Lily was all alone in her dorm at night and her friends were safely asleep, she pretended that Petunia missed her, like she missed her. That Petunia didn't mean anything she said at the train station. That Petunia liked her.
Second year wasn't that bad. Lily was now used to Hogwarts and it was a relief coming there, after the boredom of sitting at home with no magic. She wouldn't have used it anyway. Petunia would probably have a heart attack and disown her right then and there.
Lily noticed that Petunia was becoming different. Lily pretended that she didn't notice, though. She pretended that Petunia was still the amazing big sister she always saw her as, the one who loved her and took care of her always.
Oh how she wished.
Alice Prewitt was quickly becoming Lily's best friend, besides Sev of course. Marlene McKinnon, Mary Silver and Chloe Levin were very nice too; they were the other Gryffindors in her year. From time to time Lily wished that Sev was in Gryffindor too, but he seemed happy in Slytherin. Still, one could dream.
Second and third year flew by and before Lily knew it, it was nearly summer. Unfortunately, exams were on the way. After studying so much she thought her eyeballs would fall out of her skull, Lily would look out a window and pretend exams didn't exist. It was a nice place, without exams.
Fourth year came with a new change. All of the girls were beginning to notice the guys and vice versa. Lily found a Ravenclaw boy quite nice and when he asked her out to Hogsmeade she accepted with a giggle. They had a marvelous time and when they were coming back Lily pretended that all boys could be like him.
Sadly, the image of James Potter ruined that hope. He was terribly aggravating this year and his pranks were still in full swing. His buddies Sirius, Remus and Peter were annoying as well, but not as bad as James. He was the King of Toerags.
Lily sometimes pretended that she didn't have to care about grades, but she found that it could never be so. Besides her friendly rivalry with Severus, she could not stand the fact that James and Sirius were so brilliant. They certainly didn't try!
Lily wished that she wasn't so competitive all the time.
At the end of the summer, Lily was more than ready to go back to Hogwarts. She wished that her house in London was where her heart lay, with her parents and sister. Sadly, Petunia did all that she could to make her home unwelcome and Lily realized that Hogwarts was her true home now. It was where she fit in and had fun with all of her friends. A sad realization, but true all the same.
At least Sev lived close by. He made her summers far more bearable.
School began fine enough, but Alice told Lily a very annoying part of fifth year: OWLs. Lily groaned and grumbled along with the rest of her peers, but secretly she was excited. She had always hoped there was a way to prove her worth and here it was. In the form of exams, yes, but it was better than nothing.
For some odd reason, Potter was even worse than last year. It was as if there was some evil god up in the heavens out to get Lily and did so in the form of James Potter. He constantly asked her out and she constantly said no, but he just didn't get it. It annoyed her.
At the end of the year, though, Lily had had to pretend something she would never have imagined. Lily pretended that she had never met Severus. If she hadn't met him she would have never become friends with him, best friends. And if she never became friends with him, her heart would never have broken into a million tiny little pieces when he called her the dreaded word: mudblood.
It was an awful, hideous word. Lily hated it and she wished that she could pretend Sev never said it, but he did. And there was no going back now.
Oh how she wished.
That summer was the worst, by far. Lily refused to speak to Sev and Petunia was dating a walrus of man, Vernon Dursley. Who names their child Vernon? Weirdos, that's who, and he was a weirdo too. Lily sat in her room and pretended that all was well with the world the whole summer.
Another horrible realization struck Lily that summer. She was horrible at gauging people's character. So she started her sixth year with a determination to get to know everyone properly and completely discard her past prejudices.
Lily pretended that she had already gotten to know Potter and he was as awful as she first assumed. She knew it was wrong of her, but she really didn't want to get to know Potter. Not at all.
However, Lily was pleasantly surprised by the knowledge that Remus and Peter were very nice people. And somehow, although she definitely did not start it, Sirius became Lily's friend as well. And if you're friends with three of the Marauders, you're bound to become friends with the last.
So Lily found herself becoming on somewhat okay terms with Potter. He was still a prat though, just one she could tolerate.
Unfortunately, Lily realized that she would have to do a lot more than tolerate Potter in her very last year of Hogwarts. Oh no, she would have to interact with him. That god was more evil than she thought.
Lily pretended that she could somehow find a way to convince Dumbledore he had made a horrible decision.
The year progressed and Lily realized that NEWTs were way harder than OWLs. That was to be expected of course, but she didn't think that they would be that hard. They were though. Lily soon found herself struggling under the pressure of homework and head duties, although Po-James did help her. It was nice. And rather surprising.
Lily soon found herself pretending that there was no stress, no exams, so that she could spend time with her friends. One friend in particular, actually. One who had messy black hair and glasses and was very, very attractive.
It only took her six years.
And one day James Potter decided that Lily was far too stressed out for her own good and managed to drag her to a 'fun day' at the lake. Well, they did end up having fun. A lot of fun. More fun than either of them expected, actually.
And that day Lily Evans decided for the first time that she didn't want to pretend. She did not have any need for a wish. In fact, she liked her life just the way it was.
~Fin~
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