kyoshi hold 'em
part two: rambunctious gnomes (with hammers)

"Okay," Aang said, "I think our first concern should be finding Sokka some clothes. And then I really feel like we should find Suki."

Ty Lee looked thoughtful. "I think she's still out. She got into a couple of nasty losing streaks and ended up passing out before the night was through."

"Which explains why she didn't save Sokka," Toph mumbled. "Let's start with Suki."

They picked their ways through the halls, Toph wincing slightly at the sound of the wind whistling angrily outside -- the blizzard, more than simply not letting up over the day, had seemed to intensify. When they reached Suki's room, they found her in an embarrassing state of disarray, with her hair sticking out all over the place, a blanket wrapped haphazardly around her body, digging around underneath the bed for something. Aang blushed, muttered something about "trying to find Appas for apple" and melted right back out of the doorway before the half-naked and clearly distraught Suki noticed him.

Ty Lee coughed, and Suki let out a squeak, whipping around and falling back against the bed, a hand against her heart. "Don't do that! And where in the name of -- " she let out a string of cursewords so forceful that Ty Lee jumped and covered Toph's ears, " -- is my shirt?"

"I think Katara has it," Ty Lee said softly, clearly afraid to anger Suki any further. "You remember, the, uh, game?"

Comprehension dawned across Suki's face, followed quickly by sheepish embarrassment. "Oh. Right. I'll just, um," she stood up, trying to regain what little dignity remained to her, and pulled a spare training shirt out of her wardrobe. Toph snickered. "Anyway," she said hastily, pointedly ignoring Toph, "what are you doing here?"

"We came to get your help. Sokka is nasty hungover," Ty Lee responded. Suki nodded sagely and stood up, raking her fingers through her hair in an inadequate attempt to tame it, and walked purposefully out the door. Toph glanced at Ty Lee.

"Are we gonna...?"

"She's scary when she's hungover," Ty Lee whispered. "Let's just follow her and try to, um, break it gently?"

Toph stood very still for a moment, and then nodded slowly. "Oh yeah. This is gonna be fun," she said, in a tone that was either sarcasm or genuine amusement. The two of them followed Suki back through the halls, down to Sokka's -- now Jet's -- room.

Suki knocked gently on the door. "Baby? How do you feel?" Ty Lee winced. She sounded so genuine, so concerned, and she was going to be so pissed... A muffled growl came from the other side of the door, and the trio walked in. Suki stopped dead in her tracks. The room looked like a particularly malicious tornado had swept through. On the floor, wrapped in furs and spare blankets (and, Ty Lee noted, one of Sokka's shirts), were Smellerbee, Longshot, and the Duke. Four bags, overflowing with clothing and other accessories, were functioning as makeshift pillows for each of the kids on the floor. In an image that would have been adorable in any other setting, all three of them were curled up together, snuggling like lovers or very happy siblings, contented smiles gracing their faces.

And, on the bed, was Jet, sprawled out and eyeing the intruders with something that could have been annoyance, if he didn't look so exhausted.

"Jet," Suki said in a low, dangerous tone, "why are you in my boyfriend's bed?"

"Because," he replied, rolling over to face the wall, "we made sweet, sweet love deep into the night. It was glorious. Roses were involved."

Suki opened and closed her mouth a few times, clearly thrown off her guard, then glanced at Toph. "He's lying, right?"

Toph snickered, "Don't ask me. I'm useless on all this ice." In the bed, Jet snorted, and then quickly turned his laughter into a loud, fake snore.

"Ty Lee?"

Taking her cue from Toph, Ty Lee adopted a serious, thoughtful look. "I'm not really sure. Things get kinda hazy after the third bottle of firewhiskey."

Jet rolled back over, startled. "We went through three bottles of firewhiskey?" he asked, incredulous and slightly impressed.

"Yeah, yeah, the limits of our debauchery know no bounds," Suki interrupted, "now where the hell is my boyfriend?"

"I think he's my boyfriend now," Jet replied, a smirk dancing on his face.

"That would be really hot..." Ty Lee muttered. Suki shot her a glare. "What? Jet and Sokka? That would be so hot. The only thing hotter would be Jet and Zuko. Picture it, go on." Everyone, including Toph, was now giving Ty Lee an open-mouthed stare. "Oh, come on. They'd have that angry, rough, hate-sex thing going on. It would be sexy."

"I am so telling Zuko and Sokka about that," Toph said. Jet now looked a little uncomfortable.

"Don't objectify me!" he said indignantly. Ty Lee and Suki both rolled their eyes.

"Oh please," Suki cut in, exasperated, "you objectify yourself. Where is Sokka?"

"In the barn with Appa," Toph replied easily. Suki froze, and turned the full force of her patented Kyoshi Island Death Glare on the blind girl, who smirked.

"And why didn't you tell me this before wasting all of this time?"

"Because you're kinda terrifying when you're hungover," Ty Lee responded.

"Because it was really funny," Toph said, matter-of-factly. Ty Lee shot her a sidelong glance and shifted away. Suki pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"All right. Okay," she muttered to herself, taking several deep breaths. "At least you're honest. That's... refreshing." She turned on her heel and stalked out of the room. On the floor, Smellerbee looked up.

"Could you people be any louder?"

Jet sneered at her from the bed. "Says one of the few people on this ice floe who isn't dying of a hangover."

Ty Lee and Toph ignored the brewing argument and started to follow Suki, who stopped them halfway down the hall. "Oh, no. You're not following me around."

"Why not?" Ty Lee whined.

"After that mess with Jet -- which, by the way, I still don't know what he and his crew are doing here, let alone what they're doing in Sokka's room -- you think I'm going to let you hang around and make fun of me? No. Go... I don't know, play with the sharks or something." She turned again and started off in a huff.

Toph crossed her arms. "We could go find Sokka some clothes..."

Suki stopped dead in her tracks again. "What."

"Yeah, he's kind of, um, clothes-less," Ty Lee clarified, wincing. "That's why he slept in the barn with Appa. Body heat, you know."

Suki covered her face with her palm. It was unclear whether she was laughing or crying or really really pissed off. "Why didn't you bring him to my room?"

Ty Lee shrugged. "I don't know. You'll have to ask whoever dragged him to the barn. I think it was Zuko, but I'm not entirely sure. Like I said, it got hazy around the third bottle."

Suki took a deep, calming breath. "Okay. You two, go find some clothes for Sokka. I am going to go take care of him and make sure he hasn't died." She then walked away much faster than usual, as though afraid they would drop another bombshell on her and waste more of her time.

Toph cocked her head. "Not gonna tell her that you own ninety percent of Sokka's wardrobe?"

Ty Lee let out a desperate laugh. "Not in a million years."

"Can't we just give him back some of them?"

"We could..." Ty Le said thoughtfully, "but where's the fun in that? Besides, I think Jet my eat me alive if I break the rules of his precious game. Let's talk to Zuko. He's probably awake and alert."

As it turned out, Zuko was neither awake, nor alert. When they walked into his room, he was laying facedown, fully clothed -- he was even still wearing his shoes -- and completely inert, on his still-fully-made bed.

"Um, Zuko?" Ty Lee whispered, getting no response whatsoever.

"I think," Toph said in a sotto voice, "that your assessment of Zuko's alcohol tolerance was a little off."

"Zuuuukoooooo," Ty Lee sing-songed, reaching out and poking him on the shoulder. Lightning fast, his arm came up from under the pillow and grabbed her wrist.

"What?" he growled, face still buried in his pillow. Ty Lee paled considerably.

"Um, we were just, uh, looking for some clothes for Sokka because, you know, he lost all of his in the betting last night and you're the closest person to his size except for Jet who thinks this is all really funny and won't help him and please don't kill me!" Through her tirade, she tried ineffectively to wrench her arm out of Zuko's vice grip, finally collapsing to her knees. Abruptly, Zuko released her wrist, made a vague hand motion toward the wardrobe, then picked up his pillow and covered his head with it.

"I'll take that as a yes," Ty Lee whispered, standing up shakily and moving over to the wardrobe. "Let's just get some clothes and get out of here before he kills us."

"Wait," Toph cried (on the bed, Zuko's fingers tightened on the pillow dangerously). "What about underwear?"

Ty Lee floundered, trying to come up with a solution, and glanced toward Zuko's semi-conscious form. "I don't think he'll let us borrow underwear for Sokka..."

"Well he can't just go commando in someone else's pants!"

Ty Lee whimpered. "Um, Zuko?"

He picked up the pillow enough to send the two girls a bleary, blood-shot, and supremely vile glare.

"Nevermind," Ty Lee said hastily, grabbing the closest shirt and pair of pants to her hands. "We'll just, um, go now."

Zuko retreated back under the pillow and both girls fled from his room.

"Wow," Toph said, in the relative safety of the hallway, "Zuko's a bitch when he's hungover."

Ty Lee laughed slightly. "We should at least try to find some kind of underclothing. I don't think Zuko will be happy to learn that Sokka went around in his pants without anything... you know. But where would we find underclothes that someone might actually be willing to lend him?"

"Once again, I bring up the apparently pointless fact that you own ninety percent of Sokka's wardrobe."

"But Jet..."

"If Jet actually checks to see if Sokka is wearing his own underwear or going without, I will eat Appa, okay?"

Ty Lee seemed to be considering this. "Okay. You make a pretty good point."

"I always do," Toph mumbled. Ty Lee rolled her eyes.

Once they had a (hopefully clean) pair of Sokka's underwear, Toph and Ty Lee returned with their bounty to the barn. Sokka was curled up in a thoroughly pathetic position against Appa's side, his face buried in Suki's stomach and his arms wrapped around her.

"We bring clothes from Zuko, who, by the way, is in a nasty mood," Ty Lee announced.

"Yeah, we risked life and limb to get these for ya, Snoozles," Toph said. Sokka didn't even move, but Suki smiled with forced warmth.

"Thanks. I'll make sure he gets them when he wakes up. And I'm... sorry," she said tightly, as though she had promised someone that she would apologize (Ty Lee had a sneaking suspicion that Aang was somewhere in the vicinity), "for my shortness earlier. I was just..."

"Hungover and cranky?" Ty Lee offered. Suki nodded. "It's okay, it happens to the best of us. 'Cept me, though, because apparently I'm the only person who knows how to deal with hangovers."

"And me," Toph added. Suki, whose smile had faltered at Ty Lee's words, turned to her, anger melting into genuine confusion.

"Sweetie, you didn't drink."

"Well, no, but I don't get hungover."

Suki opened her mouth to respond, apparently thought the better of it, and settled for awkwardly patting Sokka's back. Ty Lee simply nodded politely, apparently forgetting that Toph couldn't see her, and then swung her arms back and forth, looking around the room. "So, um. Now what?"

"You could help Aang find apples, for a start," Suki suggested, "Although why he needs them, I can't figure out..."

"For Appa," Toph replied, like that explained anything. "Where is Twinkletoes, anyhow?" She looked around sightlessly, and Ty Lee caught wind of something that might be very interesting. Toph's tone suggested flippancy and a lack of caring, but her body language and her aura suggested differently. Did the younger girl have a crush? Ty Lee grinned despite herself. Fanning the flames of young love just so happened to be one of her absolute favorite pastimes, and Toph and Aang would be just so adorable together.

"I think he's... in... the..." Suki lost her train of thought, staring at Ty Lee, who was wearing a silly grin and hopping up and down like a child about to get candy from her mother. "Ty Lee? What is so wonderful?"

"Oh!" she started, and hastily struggled to hide her grin, "nothing. I just... I'm so glad to be helping everyone!" She tried not to wince.

"Uh-huh," Toph replied, deadpan, "you're a really horrible liar."

"Fine, then," she said, affecting an airy tone. "It's none of your business." She almost -- almost -- stuck her tongue out at Toph, but then realized that not only would Toph not be able to see it, but that it was also about ten years too immature. She was saved from the awkward questions by the arrival of Aang (she paid very close attention to Toph's aura, which pinked ever-so-slightly -- score!), who brightened at the sight of the two girls.

"Hey! How did everything work out?"

"We got some clothes for Sokka from Zuko," Ty Lee replied, ("And almost died in the process," Toph muttered, earning a confused look from Aang), "and Suki here is gonna help Appa take care of Sokka. How goes the apple-hunting?"

Aang's face fell. "Bad."

"Yeah, who would have thought," Toph asked lightly, "that no one would have apples at the South Pole?"

Aang colored a bit. Ty Lee mentally began planning the wedding (it could be in summer, outside Gaoling, and Toph would wear green and yellow and maybe Ty Lee could even do Toph's hair for her and it would be the most awesome wedding ever). "Like I said, I think Jet or his crew might have some. Why don't you two go ask?" She leaned forward, grabbed Aang by the arm and hooked it with Toph's, ignoring the confusion on both of their faces (and the sudden understanding on Suki's). "Go! Go forth and find apples for your majestic flying bison! It is a noble, if dangerous, quest!" She swept her arms out dramatically, in full circus-performer mode, "You may have to face an evil dragon, though, to get the bounty you seek," she whispered conspiratorially. Toph snorted.

"I'm telling Jet you called him an evil dragon. C'mon Twinkles, let's go find your apples."

As soon as they were gone, Ty Lee allowed herself a happy, girlish squeal, complete with hand-clapping and twirling in a circle. Sokka made a sound like a dying animal and snuggled closer to Suki. "Oops, sorry, Sokka. I just... Did you see that?"

"I think you're making mountains out of badger-molehills," Suki said, petting Sokka's bald head and wincing.

"No way," she replied. "Their auras were all cute and pink!" She sighed, flopping down on Appa next to Suki. "Young love is just adorable, isn't it?"

Sokka raised his head and glared at Ty Lee, then mumbled, "If you're gonna be here, I'm gonna need you to shut up. Thanks."

Ty Lee considered responding, but decided to just smile and nod instead.

There was a knocking at his door, and he was deeply, deeply considering obliterating whoever was stupid enough to bother him (again, he thought, remembering Ty Lee and Toph). He stumbled to his feet -- pausing for only a moment to realize that his bed was still made, he was still fully clothed, and that an entire colony of rambunctious gnomes with hammers were trotting about in his skull -- and wrenched open the door, fully prepared to rain death, destruction, and hellfire upon his visitor.

Katara shuffled into his room, ignoring his disarray and obvious fury. "I can't heal my own hangover with my water. You can do cool things with fire, right? I saw you helping Ty Lee with her cramps that one time. Can you maybe try that on me?"

He was torn between picking her up and bodily throwing her out of his room, and actually helping her (because then she would owe him a favor, and maybe she could heal someone else's hangover with her water). "Katara," he said thickly. "In case you missed this fun fact, I drank roughly seventy times more firewhiskey than you did."

She turned to him, confused, "Yeah, but you seemed totally sober last night. Ty Lee kept trying to get you tell her how you developed an immunity to the stuff."

"I'm glad to know that drunken me is indistinguishable from sober me. I am in no state to help anyone, or do anything except crawl into a hole and die."

"Maybe I can heal you?" she suggested imploringly, "And then you can help me?"

He cheered up just a little bit. If he couldn't sleep until the end of times, then this was the second-best thing. "You can try." She pulled some of the water from the skin at her belt and held it up to his head, wreathing him in a cool, blue glow. That did absolutely nothing to stop the rambunctious gnomes. "Not working," he muttered. The water abruptly disappeared.

"Well, crap," Katara said, flopping down onto Zuko's bed. He shot her a glare, but she wasn't paying attention. "What use is healing water if I can't heal a stupid hangover? I mean," she clarified with sudden horror, "besides the, you know, saving lives and all that."

"I don't know and I don't care. Move."

She whimpered, and stayed completely still, eyes closed. "Your bed is comfy."

Deciding not to argue, he placed both hands on her arm and rolled her over. She squeaked, and tried to sit up, but he was already crawling in the bed, trapping her between his body and the wall. Had he not been disgustingly hungover, he might have enjoyed the situation.

"Um, Zuko?"

"Just shut up and let me sleep."

Ty Lee stood at the doorway, trying very, very hard to contain her glee. Katara and Zuko were -- if she didn't know any better -- cuddling. It was only slightly less adorable than Aang and Toph. Granted, Zuko was in an extremely pissy mood and probably didn't know that Katara was sharing his bed, but it was still one of the cutest things she'd ever seen.

(They could make it a double wedding! And it would be really amazing because all four nations would be represented! And Zuko would totally let her plan his wedding, so she would get the chance to decorate everything in all of the colors and styles of the world! It would be awesome!)

She coughed. Katara jolted awake and sat up, blushing furiously. Zuko grumbled something about tea and rolled over.

"This isn't --" Katara started.

"What it looks like?" Ty Lee finished, grinning.

"No, it's just -- I wanted to help -- I mean -- what are you doing here, anyway?" Katara ended lamely, crawling out through the foot of Zuko's bed.

"Waking Zuko up. His uncle wants to see him."

They both looked over at the barely conscious Fire Lord. "Um, I don't think that's going to be happening any time soon."

"It seemed important..." Ty Lee said, whining a little. Having already faced the full wrath of Hungover Zuko once this morning, she was very, very loath to further infuriate him. He might actually kill her.

"Um, Zuko?" Katara started, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Your uncle needs to see you."

He jerked the pillow up over his head again.

"It's important," Ty Lee said, joining Katara by the bed. "He probably has some really cool hangover remedy!"

"He does?" Katara asked hopefully. "Would he be willing to share?"

"Knowing Iroh, of course. C'mon, Zuko. You've gotta get out of bed sometime. It's already three hours past noon."

"Oh, no," Zuko hissed coldly, pulling his pillow tighter around his head. "I've had all of six hours of sleep. That keeps being interrupted by idiots. Surely the end is nigh."

Katara glared, bristling at being called an "idiot". Ty Lee, on the other hand, was grateful that he hadn't pulled her head off her neck. "Well, sorry," Katara huffed, turning on her heel and leaving the room, "I'll be sure to never bother his highness again. I'm going to find Iroh's secret hangover remedy."

Zuko, for his part, didn't even flinch. Ty Lee was slightly disappointed. She had hoped for a reaction, maybe for him to leap from his bed and fall to his knees, begging Katara's forgiveness for his sharp tongue. This simply would not do.

"Come on, Zuko. I don't think your uncle would be sending me in to drag you out of bed if it wasn't important."

Zuko laughed outright at this. "Have you met my uncle?"

Ty Lee hesitated. "Okay, good point. I'll go find out what it is he needs. If it turns out to be important, you'll get up, right?"

"Sure."

Satisfied with her compromise (and happy to be in possession of all extremities), Ty Lee left to find Iroh, a sudden thought occurring to her. Iroh would definitely agree to help her get Zuko and Katara (and probably even Toph and Aang) together. In fact, Iroh might be as enthusiastic as she was about it, since Zuko getting married would mean grand-nephews and nieces for him.

She couldn't help but grin. The entire world would thank her for this.