Glitch was starting to think dates were the worst thing ever as he sat out in the yard and it wasn't even until later that night. He thought this for two reasons. 1) Something girls called a Mall Crawl and 2) Something Andrew told him about that afternoon were called shovel speeches.

He had encountered the first one that very morning. He had just gone down to breakfast and was about to eat a piece of something called toast (which was great) when it was snatched out of his hand. He turned to scold whoever had taken it when he froze in shock and slight fear. There were at least 14 girls standing before him (he hadn't even heard them come in) with unnerving smiles plastered on their faces. Glitch smiled back uneasily and asked, "Um…Can I have my toast back?"

If it was possible the girls smiles widened. That was the only warning before he was, literally, dragged out of the house and into a small bus. Sitting in the drivers seat was Dawn and behind her was Andrew. They were both smiling as well. As the bus drove off down the streets of Cleveland several things were done to him. First, and his favorite part, was he was given back his toast as well as an energy bar by Andrew. Little had Glitch known how much he would need that energy bar. Second, while at a traffic light, Dawn had placed a spell on Glitch that had made his zipper invisible to anyone who was not aware of it, which was everyone outside of the bus. Third, he was measured from top to bottom to see what size clothes he wore, his feet were measured as well.

It was only after they had parked in a large parking lot that Glitch finally said a word, "What in the name of Glinda are you people going to do with me?"

They all looked at one another, looked back at him with warm and excited smiles and said as one, "Taking you shopping."

The next five hours were the most tiring Glitch could ever remember. He was dragged to several stores. Thrust into dozens of changing rooms. If he refused to try on the clothes the girls would send in Andrew. Andrew informed him this was the main reason he had been asked to come. That and he was the only other gay man around. He was spun around and poked and prodded by various sales clerks. He tried on so many different shoes that he lost count.

By the end of it all he was exhausted. He now owned more clothes then he ever had in his life. He was also scared because later the girls were going to pick out an outfit for tonight from the clothes they had just bought. He lay on the couch in the library at the house, arm slung over his eyes and one foot on top of the sofa back. He was trying to decide if Xander was worth all of this when someone tapped his boot that lay on the couch back.

Glitch groaned, "Go away please, I beg you. I told you I don't want to try different hair styles. The one I have now is just fine."

"I agree with you their Z"

Glitch sat bolt upright when he heard the nickname Faith had given him. She said the Z stood for zipper. She had even asked if it was alright before hand. Xander told him this was rare but Glitch suspected it was because she didn't want to loose her favorite sparing partner. When Glitch sat up straight and fast he groaned lightly at the aches the shopping had caused before looking at Faith.

She smiled warmly down at him and motioned to the free space now available on the couch, "Mind if I sit? I wanna talk to you a second."

Glitch just smiled, "Sure, I wouldn't mind the company."

Faith sat down and looked him over with pity, "They took you first date shopping didn't they?"

Glitch's eyes widened and glassed over as if remembering a traumatic event and said, "So many stores."

Faith chuckled, "I thought so. Don't worry, it wont be like that for every date you have around here. Just every time you go on a date with someone new." then her gaze hardened and the smile fell from her face, "Speaking of which I'm gonna tell you the rules of dating a member of this family."

Glitch gulped at the look on her face and the tone of her voice. It was almost like facing a Long Coat in a dark alley. Glitch saw her waiting for him to do something so he nodded and said, "I'm listening."

Faith leaned in slightly, "If you date one of us, any of us, you better not screw around. Sometimes you can hook up, that's fine, we all do it from time to time. But dates are different. A date means a relationship. And do you know what that means?"

Glitch realized he was supposed to answer that but he wasn't sure how so he just said, "Um…"

This apparently was an acceptable answer as Faith continued by leaning in a bit more while saying, "It means no heart breaking. If you hurt Xander, in any way, do you know what will happen to you?"

Glitch was starting to lean backward, the armrest digging into his back as Faith leaned over his body but not touching it. He felt trapped like a rat and as Faith's arm blocked his ability to slip out from under her and onto the floor that feeling solidified. She was glaring at him now and her face was so close to his he could feel her breath on his face. He gulped as he shook his head "No" to her question.

The smile that slid over her face scared him stiff, "Well, you know what a fork and spoon are right?" Glitch nodded, "Well, you can use them for things other than eating. Some very bad, painful, and bloody things. Are we clear?"

Glitch nodded. What happened next left him dazed, confused and frightened on the couch. Faith sat up lighting fast, gave him a warm smile, and said, "Good, then we won't have any problems. Have fun on the date tonight Z." and walked out as if she had not just threatened him with bodily harm by kitchen utensil

After about 2 minutes Glitch figured it was safe to move, so he did. He almost ran out of the library and down the hallway. He went to the living room next. It was usually full but most of the girls had decided to go back to that Hell Hole they called the Mall. There was no one there so he decided to watch some TV. He found it strange but somehow entertaining. But of all the channels Xander had shown him his favorite was one that only played old cartoons. He had been sitting there for about 45 minutes when in walked Andrew. Andrew's smile faltered when he looked at Glitch and his face became slightly concerned.

Andrew sat down next to Glitch and asked, "What happened?" Glitch was about to say nothing when Andrew said, "And don't try do deny it because I can tell something happened to you after we got back. I'm good at reading people like that."

Glitch sighed and told Andrew what had happened almost an hour ago. He did not expect Andrew to laugh and say, "Wow, not the best one I've ever heard but points for creativity and leaving it to the mind of the victim."

"I'm not making this up, it's true." Glitch said indignantly, thinking Andrew was commenting on his story

"No, I know it's true. What I'm talking about is the shovel speech Faith gave you." Andrew said with a relieved look on his face now that he knew what was bothering Glitch

"What are you talking about?" Glitch asked

Andrew just smiled, "Well, doing what we do, we're like a close knit family. And unlike in other family's, where someone might give empty threats to someone getting romantically involved with a member of that family, we give real live threats. But they would never carry out said threat without the approval of the family member the threat was made for. We call these shovel speeches. It's sort of a cliché thing people do for loved ones by saying, 'hurt them and I'll hit you with a shovel'."

Glitch blinked. He sort of understood what had happened. Faith had threatened him to show how she cared for Xander. Glitch only had one question, "Why a shovel?"

Andrew smiled, "Two birds with one stone. It can be used as a weapon and as a way to, literally in some cases, bury the evidence. Your really in no danger cause even if you did hurt Xander he's to nice a guy to let them hurt you." then Andrew glared, "And on that note, if you hurt him, I'll set all Slayer Central Italy on you with orders to get as close as they can to killing you without actually doing it. Are we clear?"

Glitch stared in shock at the young man before him for acting so out of character, "Clear as the waters of Finaqua." this time it was Andrew's turn to look confused and Glitch smiled slightly, "That means yes."

Andrew smiled, "Good." then he looked at his watch, "Oh, I forgot to tell you. You have an appointment to meet 2 very important people."

Before Glitch could question this statement Andrew was dragging him out to the garden where Dawn stood along with a few other girls. As he walked past Dawn she whispered in his ear that if he hurt Xander he would wake up on fire.

Before Glitch could ask why they were all there a bright flash of white light appeared from the center of the group. There stood two women. A short blonde woman with her hair pulled into a high ponytail. She wore boots, black combat pants with several pockets, a white tank top, and held a sort of red, bladed weapon with a wooden point at the end in her hand. Her face had a smile on it but Glitch could tell she was on alert and stronger then she looked like the rest of the girls in the yard. Next to her stood her visual polar opposite. A woman at least 6 inches taller with long red hair falling down to the middle of her back. She wore a loose fitting skirt of a light green material Glitch was not familiar with. Her shoes were simple sandals and her toe nails were painted forest green. Her shirt was short enough to leave about an inch of stomach exposed. It had long, loose fitting, white sleeves that cut off halfway between her elbow and wrist. The rest of the shirt was a bit tighter and a relaxing shade of brownish red. She had a truly warm smile on her face that reached her eyes, unlike the other woman.

Glitch froze when both females set their eyes on him and stared. It was only after Andrew said, "He has a zipper in his head." that their eyes widened slightly. Glitch had forgotten about the spell Dawn had placed on him. He guessed whenever he introduced himself to anyone from now on he would have to say, 'Hey, I'm Glitch, I have a zipper in my head.' if he wanted them to see it.

It was at this moment that he came out of his thoughts and realized that the red haired girl had been talking to him. He was bout to introduce himself when…

Glitch's eyes glazed over and he looked around in confusion, "Um…where am I? Am I where I should be?" then he turned to Andrew, stuck out his hand and said, "Hey, names Glitch."

Andrew just said, "Glitch, I'm Andrew remember. Focus for me and let it all come back."

Glitch shook his head and smiled at Andrew, "Sorry about that. Sometimes it happens when I get nervous."

Andrew just smiled back, "It's alright, not your fault."

It was only when Glitch turned back to the pair of mystery women when he saw the way they were looking at him.. Glitch had seen that look many times before. It was a look that said several things at once. Things like, "Is he crazy?" or, "What's wrong with him?" or his favorite, "What a freak." Glitch turned red and looked at the ground in shame.

Glitch flinched as he heard one of the woman come over, expecting something bad to happen. He was surprised when a soft hand reached out and lifted his head by the chin. It was the red haired one. She was smiling with understanding, "It's alright, Xander already told us. Andrew's right, it's not your fault. And it's nothing to be ashamed of."

The blonde stepped forward and gave him a smile full of respect, "That's right, if anything it's something to be proud of. From what Xander told us, which is very little cause he said the rest was yours to tell, you got that defending your leader. And he said even with your, shall we say, condition you still defeated the bad guy. I'm proud to know a man who has such bravery and determination." then she smirked, "As well as anyone who handed Faith her own ass in under ten minutes."

At this everyone in the yard laughed and Glitch felt the tension lift. His face flushed with pride and he stood up a bit straighter. As he laughed with them he felt a weight lift from his shoulders. These people really didn't see him as some sort of freak, but a hero in his own right. They didn't think him a moron just because he would glitch now and then. He smiled wide and followed Andrew and the pair of woman, who he now considered his hero's for their words, as they invited him to follow them.

He was still smiling as they walked into the library. Glitch got a bit nervous then. Xander said it was a sot of tradition to talk about important and/or urgent thing in a library. He wondered what important news could involve him.

He sat down at a table with the others and waited. The red head spoke first in a flustered and embarrassed voice, "Oh, how could I forget? You don't know who we are. How stupid of me to say all those things before and not even remember to tell you my name. I mean…" the red head stopped speaking when the blond put a hand on her shoulder and told her to breath

Glitch was impressed that she could say all that in one breath and told her so. This caused the blond to giggle before saying, "We call that babble. She does that sometimes. But she is right. We know your name but you don't know ours." she smiled and held out her hand across the table for Glitch to shake, which he did, "My name is Buffy Summers. I'm the head Slayer and head of the International Watchers Council. It's nice to finally meet the man who Xander's been talking none stop about."

Glitch blushed but inside he felt so happy. Xander had been talking about him. This feeling was soon replaced by nervous fear when he looked up to see that look he had already been given three times today. Glitch gulped and braced himself.

"And you know, that as head Slayer, the girls do what I say. But if you hurt Xander, I'll come down on you harder then they all would as one. There won't even be enough of you left to feed a mouse. You got me?" Buffy growled

Glitch nodded so fast hw was surprised he didn't break his neck. He then turned to the red head who smiled warmly at him again, "I'm Willow Rosenberg, Xander's oldest and bestest friend in the whole wide world. I am also the most powerful witch in recorded history and it takes a lot to control the magic in me so I don't turn dark and vengeful. I have to keep a very close hold on emotions like sadness, anger, and fear. But if you hurt Xander," her eyes flashed solid black for a second before returning to normal, "I don't think I'll even try to hold back on you."

Glitch just snapped then. He was sick of being scared. Sick of being treated like he was out to break Xander's heart. He knew they all meant well but it hurt all the same. So, knees shaking and brain screaming at him to stop, he stood up and said in a firm voice to how scared he was, "I've had enough of this." the room fell silent as the three occupants stared at him in shock. Glitch wished he could just sit back down but he had already started so might as well make it count, "I understand that you all care about Xander, I really do, but I'm insulted. I owe a lot to Xander. He saved my life. He comforted me when I needed it. He taught me about this world. But most of all, he cares about me like no one ever has. No one ever cared about me except my Queen and her children. So to think I would risk such a wondrous thing is beyond madness of the highest degree. I care about him and would rather die then cause him pain."

The whole room was silent. Not a single sound, not even breathing, was heard. After a few moments Glitch lost his nerve and said quietly, "I, just wanted to say that." and sat back down and tried to look as small as he could

Then all three people at the table smiled so wide it was a wonder their faces didn't crack. Andrew just laughed, Buffy nodded and she smiled at him in that way that showed she had respect for him as she had done out in the garden. He looked at Willow and jumped a bit seeing her looking at him with a stern face. He almost ran for it when she got up and started to walk slowly toward him. Andrew and Buffy had stopped laughing and just stared with worried looks on their faces.

Willow got to his side and lifted him up into a standing position with a wave of her hand. She stared at him for a few more moments before breaking into a bright smile and hugging him tighter then anyone ever had. She whispered into his ear, "Welcome to the family Glitch, it's good to have you."

Glitch held back tears of joy as he returned the hug and smiled so wide he felt aches in his cheeks. He really had a family again.

AN

I promise the date in the next chapter. And those of you looking for a sex scene forget it. I feel weird writing them. I will however write some light groping but that is it.

PS

I know I say smile a lot but that is because I like smiles. That's why I'm the goof ball that I am. I do stupid things to see people smile. So get over it.

THANKS FOR READING