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"Cool beans!" I said.

But then a gor-geous man came in. He had a long white coat that like the doctors wear... blonde hair slicked back and a fucking pornstar face. it was Doctor Cullen.

"Hayley my diagnostic is that you are a vampire."

I started to cry bitterly and Carlile tried to comfort me but i told him to fuck off and I ran through the window into the woods (sort of like tha Paramore video for

Decoy). I was running so fast like that bunny from the batteries because i was a vampire. Suddenly I bumped into Victoria!

"Watch where your'e going bitch!" I said horrorfied!

"I'm sorry!" she replied. "Well, I'm mad at the cullens."

"Oh yeah by-the-way me too!" i said and smiled.

then she got an idea.

"I have an idea!" she said! "Why don't u join me and my boyfriend James?"

"ok" i said.

We went to their hiding place. I went there an saw a really hot guy named James, victoria's boyfriend.

"Hi" he said. His voice was so sexy the spot between my legs ( you know what it is i'm not writing it down you sick fucks!!!!!) felt like a fire!

I covered it quickly.

"And there's laurent, the black guy" she said, pointing at a ripped guy who looked just like lil wayne except not really.

Next to him was a girl who looked just like Amy Lee but wasn't her (so don't report da fic because it has real people in it, cus she's fake!).

"Oh by the way that's Amelia Dracula Lee (see so now she's like fictitional)."

'hi guys". i said sadly.

"Well now what?" said Amy.

"I know!" i said."lets go to the mall!"

So we went there an we eat some pizza and went to watch my favorite movie Bring it on all or nothing and then we

went dancing because if you don't do exercise you'll get fat just like da guy from Big Mama's house or like Shellie

(Sorry Shellie but it's true you need to lay off da McDonalds girl!)

I was great at DDR. Suddenly someone came.

It we saw two people... Emmet and esme cullen! and they were screwing each others brains out!

"how rude i said" an threw a hokey stick at them.

they ran away.

Dr. cullen came.

"You ungrateful Hayley!" he looked pissed.

i felt bad so i cried.

"there don't cry! he said. "i know lets go on a date!"

"Oh like okay totally you sexy bitch!"

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