Sorry if the characters are a little out of character just pretend that New Moon and breaking dawn never existed ok?
Um, Shellie you know I love you but you need to lose weight. You're embarrasing in public so yeah.
Thanks for the good reviews. Also, I won't update until I get 3 good reviews.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I woke up from my red and yellow room (wouldn't that be like totally awesome?
I tired to dye half my hair like that but my pastor said it wasn't cool. Whatevar! If you want to know more things about me visit my profile ok?). Then I remembered I was going to a date with Carlile today! But my mom called me.
"Hayley Jane Pratt get down here this minute!"
Oh crap, I thought to myself. I went down the stairs and almost fell but "I caught myself" (get it?!)
'What the hell do you want?"
My mom studied me looking moron like. She had hair tied up in a bun. It was yellow. She was dressed like the black girl on the aunt gemima pancakes except she wasn't black or anything, she was a Christian.
"Jacob said that yesterday he saw you with a guy that wasn't Alucard."
"That fucking fag!" I screamed in pain. Jacob was the foster kid my parents took in. He used to live in some reservation but it all burned down along with his mom and dad so now he lives with us. He was always hating on me dog! Especially because he wanted in my band Secret Lover. He was gay but they didn't know that.
"Are you cheating on Alucard?"
Alucard is my fiancée. Our marriage was arranged since birth or else if I don't marry him they will take our farm away.
"No mom. Jacob is lying like always."
I made a mental note to fuck his punk ass up.
"Anyway I'm going on a date with this guy later, ok?"
"OK just be careful don't leave your drink unattended and wear a condom."
I was like so embarrassed.
"Ok mom!"
I rushed to my room to get ready. I put some bright red lipstick on and neon yellow eye shadow.
I put on a cute top that was red on the front and yellow on the back and matching skirt. I put a red legging and a yellow one and some long white go go boots because otherwise I'd look like a fucking prostitude, and I wanted to be as classy as possible.
"Konnichiwa bitches!" I said as I flew out of the door (something I could do because I had been turned into a vampire).
I met Carlile at this place called Orange Julius in the mall. We flirted and drank a single smoothie with not one but TWO straws! Then we went to Olive garden. We were eating pasta and suddenly we were eating the same noodle and vwe kissed! We kept making out, and let me tll you, Carlile is an EXCELLENT kisser! Then he took my skirt off and sucked on my "lady cave".. Then he took his pants off and WHOA! He was hung like a horse! Anyway we did the nasty.
He was smacking my laffy taffy when…
Rosalie and Reneesmee burst in the door!