Hey guys! I know I haven't written in sooo long! Check my profile if you want to know why. Yesturday was my last day of school so this was how I spent my first day of summer break...you're welcome(: haha. Enjoy! Oh, and review(:
PS this is in Angels point of view and she is Max and Fangs daughter. Just thought I'd throw that out there.
Disclaimer 1: I do not own Maximum Ride or any characters, they are James Patterson's.
Disclaimer 2: I do not own the song What Is Love, it is Christofer Drew Ingle's.
I slammed the door to my bedroom. Hard. A few more times and it will probably break off the hinges.
Mom and Dad were fighting again, something about money and working. They haven't been happy in months. They're always screaming and breaking things and then one of them will leave and stay with my Uncle Iggy or Aunt Nudge for a few days and then it happens all over again.
The house hasn't been quiet in a long time, well except when my dad is at work and my mom is…who knows where, then I have it all to myself. I need the quiet to think, I'm an aspiring musician, but I can't think straight with them yelling all the time.
We live in an apartment building on 37th Street; God only knows how we haven't been evicted yet with all the yelling.
About four months ago while my parents were fighting about rent or something, I found out I can crawl out of my window onto the fire escape and climb to the roof. That's the only place I can get away from them long enough to work on my songs.
That was what I was doing tonight. With my acoustic guitar strap slung over my shoulder I began to climb the metal latter. Our apartment is on the thirteenth floor so I only have to climb two floors.
When I reach the top of the building, I take my guitar off my back and the folded papers from my pocket and sit on the cold concrete. I was planning on working on a song I started two weeks ago but it didn't seem right. I strummed a few chords and then lyrics just started to come together in my head and I began to sing.
In a sitch like this you've gotta think
And I don't think you think about the way he thinks
And I know you live life for yourself
But it all comes down to the way you help
And I know your life is such a Hell
You wake up early and you work until
You have your drinks at five o'clock
The hours blend and your thoughts all haunt
Your hopes, your dreams, your everything
Well, Momma I hope, I dream, that you won't leave
And I have a question:
What is love?
What is love?
Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh
Is it giving up?
'Cause that's not how you raised me
Yeah
In a sitch like this you've gotta think
And I don't think you think about the way she thinks
And I know you work hard everyday
But it all comes down to the way you're paid
And I know you're oh so sorry, Dad
I truly believe that you're a better man
To share one kiss then give away
All the love you come home everyday
To your hopes, your dreams, your everything
Well, Daddy I hope, I dream, that she won't leave
And I have a question:
What is love?
What is love?
Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh
Is it giving up?
'Cause that's not how you raised me
And what is love?
What is love?
Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh
See I don't know anymore
I used to look up to the love
I put my guitar down and look up into the dark, night sky. It feels like about midnight so Mom and Dad should be arguing for at least two more hours. Again, I don't know how we haven't been evicted yet; maybe the neighbors snuck in while we were away and sound proofed the place.
And then I started thinking about my song: what is love? Will I ever find it? Has my parents' current situation devastated my outlook on love forever?
I thought back to how about three weeks ago I broke up with a guy I had been seeing. I found all the flaws in him and made excuses of why I could never be with him because I didn't want to end up like my parents. I couldn't end up like my parents, I can't handle that much fighting, that's why I started coming up here in the first place.
It all clicked for me then: I was single-handedly sabotaging all of my relationships to save myself from ending up like my parents are in a bad relationship that I couldn't get out of.
I've forgotten everything I once knew of love from movies and fairytales. My parents have chased every thought of someday being in love out of my mind.
What is love?