A/N: So I was reading over my story and got a sudden urge to write. YAY! It is a short chapter though.
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am broken but I am hoping
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am crying, a part of me is dying but,
These are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart
-Lindsay Lohan confessions of a broken heart (daughter to father)
Disclaimer- I don't own anything.
I am not a fan of Lohan but this song fit for the chapter.
Brooke's POV
Day thirteen. Today we had group and I just sat there. I don't see why I have to tell how I feel. I don't want to be here. I want to be home. With my mom holding me tight telling me everything will be okay.
I wake up every morning watching others have seizures and throw tantrums because they are having withdraws. I don't get why I am not that way. I take my medicine and then I go talk to Rachel. She is the only I talk to in this place. Peyton called me yesterday and told me about how she hated not having me with her and then told me how Lucas was a mess. I just nodded trying to hold back tears. Why did he have to make everything so difficult? He likes me… he hates me… he doesn't talk to me… he dates me… he hides me… he loves me… he is disgusted by me. What does he feel for me? Damn the second I think we have come to an understanding he throws a curveball and hits me right in the smacked dab forehead. Jackass.
"Brooke" I heard as I sat on my bed sulking. I looked up to see Mouth looking up at me. Mouth was a really nice guy. I'm not really sure why is here. He isn't an addict and never has been, but he was a good counselor. He talked a lot to the guys while Rachel stuck with the girls. He didn't push people to talk.
"Yeah?" I asked looking up at him with sad eyes. I was a little confused, the only time they actually called me out of the room it was to take my medicine.
"You have a visitor" He told me before walking out and leaving me there even more confused. I wasn't supposed to not have visitors
"Okay" I said slowly getting up and walking to the conference room and was startled by whom I saw sitting in front of me, "No" I said turning back around and reached for the door knob but his voice stopped me
"Brooke, please. Just tell me what you feel" He told me as a command and I didn't turn all the way around, I just glanced back at him
"Why?" I asked swallowing the lump in my throat, "Do you know what it feels like to be a loser?" I asked him with tears threatening to fall, "Oh wait" I said turning and staring him down, "You do. I am just like you aren't I?" I asked him full of hatred.
"I'm sorry for that, but you need to get better so you can get a job and get money for college" he told as if I was another client of his
"Who do you think you are?" I asked with a small whisper. "First, you come here and expect me to be civil and then you have the audacity to tell me I need to get better to get a job." I said through clenched teeth clenching my fist
"Well it's true. Once you drop from child support your mom will need help and how you are acting you won't be getting a scholarship" He told me
"I won't live that long!" I cried out, "Do you understand that Richard? I have three months left and you are talking to me about college. I am happy I am graduating!" I shouted
"Brooke" He started but I didn't want to hear it. I was so tired of putting up walls around me and no-one knowing what I felt it. I felt like everyone that I held in for so long just exploded and he was the first person I wanted to scream at.
"No! You know growing up I wanted one thing." I snapped and he stared at me like I had three heads, "I wanted to get married and I wanted my father to walk me down the aisle" I told him and he stared at his hands which pushed me over the edge, "Look at me!" I yelled and his eyes shot up, "You took both of those away from me!" I hissed before walking towards the door once again.
"I didn't do anything" He snapped at me and I let out a dry laugh
"When will you get it? You did drugs and didn't stop when you married mom and so when I was born, I had problems. A crooked foot, scaly skin, loads of allergies, and last but certainly not least a very low immune system. So yes Dad, you did everything"
"What do you want me to say?" He asked confused
"What do I want you to say? I want for you to say you regret doing it! To say you stopped and you are sober, that you love me and you will do everything in your power to save me, that you support me" I cried, "I don't want you coming in here and telling me to get better so I can get a job and money for college when we both know I will not make it my mother's birthday" I sobbed,
"Well I regret it and I am sorry" he told me but I could tell he felt guilty not that he really cared.
"You know I could say I believed you, but you see I had to get my good lying skills from someone and that someone is you. Did you know I used to hide in my room when you used to come over and listen to steal my pain pills that I needed? God you pushed every one around. You are a bully. You did it to Beau, you did to Bryan and you tried with Teagan but she knew coming out of the womb what a loser you were. You did to mom for fifteen damn years until she got the courage to say no. God we took mom's name because we didn't want to associated with you! God how can you be so damn clueless. I used to be scared for my life around you. Those weekends you would take Beck fishing I would pray he came home safe. I was afraid you would never bring him back. I felt uncomfortable being in a room alone with you" I cried and he stared right through me "It shouldn't be like that!" I screamed as loud as I could and I saw him flinch, "I should be able to trust you and should know you love me, but I didn't, I don't and the day I die I still won't. You know the worst part is that you tell everyone about how I am sick and you don't even know is wrong with me and obviously didn't know I didn't have very much time left." I sighed before turning back to the door for the third time since I walked in this room
"Please don't hate me" He begged and I shook my head
"Is that all you care about? For me to die hating you?" I asked and when he didn't answer I took that as a yes, "Well if it makes you feel better I haven't hated you for years. I feel nothing towards you but resentment. I never want to see you again. I wanted a dad so bad and I didn't get why of all people I didn't get one and I made Beau feel like shit because he was the only father figure and I didn't want it, I wanted a dad. I didn't want you, but at least wanted you to want to be there. Don't come to my funeral. We both know you would only be there for show" I sighed and he stared at the ground, "I would say I'll see you in heaven but we both know you aren't going there" I told him before opening the door and closing the door on the man that got me there and I felt better
"Am I allowed to call someone?" I asked Victoria and she smiled and nodded. After my talk with Richard this morning everyone was being super nice. I think they heard the conversation, but whatever. If it gets me calls I will play the pitiful girl card. It isnt very difficult.
"Who do you need to call?" She asked and I smiled thinking about who I wanted to call
"Beau Davis" I told her and she nodded handing me the phone and I dialed his number and waited for him to pick up
"Hello" I heard and smiled
"Hey Summer" I said nervously hoping she didn't hate me. I really wanted her to like me and I know I was a disappointment
"Oh my god!" She yelled and I was hoping that was good, "BEAU!" I heard her yell and I laughed a little, "Hang on! He is going to be so excited. How are you?" She asked me and I let out a breath
"Better." I told her honestly and then I heard a muffled good before I heard the person I wanted to talk to
"Hello?" He asked uninterested. Very Beau like
"Hey big brother" I said noticing how emotional this moment was for me. I hadn't talk to him in months because I hated that he sound so upset with me.
"Brooke?" He asked
"The one and only" I shrugged and I heard him laugh
"Oh man Brooke. I missed you. Where are you calling from?" He asked and I got nervous again as I sat on my bed
"Please don't be disappointed" I said to him and he told he wouldn't, "rehab. I have seventeen days left" I told him proud of my progress, "thirteen days sober"
"Wow, Brooke! This is great! But…"
"Yeah, that means we will be two months away." I sighed sadly; "I miss you Beau" I told him tears running down my face
"I miss you too B" He told me and I felt better just by him saying that.
"Yeah, so how is Summer?" I asked trying to change the subject
"Good. The baby is due the tenth of July" He told me but I could tell he the second he said it he wanted to take it back, even through a phone "I'm sorry Brooke. I shouldn't have brought it up" He told me and I shook away the tears
"Beau, it's okay. I'm pretty sure someone watched a very good movie and they told me you shouldn't take life to seriously. You'll never get out alive." I said with a small laugh
"Brooke. Don't say that" he scolded me and I frowned. I hate that he knows I am lying through a phone
"I'm scared" I whispered. He was the only person I have ever told that. I tried to give that I don't give a shit attitude but I can't do it anymore
"I'm coming home" He told me
"No, stop." I said back to him but Beau is very stubborn
"Brooke, I am not going to be in Arizona and wait for it to happen. I'm sorry it's not happening. Summer and I are already packing. I am calling Bryan and Teagan and we are coming home and we are going to figure this out" He explained to me
"That is really unnecessary" I said not wanting them to see me fragile, "I am stuck here for seventeen more days and Summer is pregnant"
"Then we get 17 days without your stubborn ass telling us to stop and Summer is fine. So say fine and tell me you love me and you will see me soon" He told me and I groaned in defeat knowing that I wanted him home
"Fine. I love you. See you soon" I growled
"Aww… I love you too baby sister" he smirked into the phone and I put the phone in front of my face and stuck my tongue at it. Ha! Bet you can't see that
"Don't stick your tongue out at me" I heard him say. Really, Beau, really?
"I hate you. I'm hanging up" I said clicking the end button and walking back to Victoria's office
"Have a good talk?" She asked me
"He is so annoying" I growled throwing my hands in the air
"But at the end of the day you love him" She said with a warm laugh
"Yeah. He's like a dad to me" I smiled before walking back to my room excited for the group meeting the next day. I finally felt like talking
A/N: I told you it was short but I wanted to write so you could a little in sight on Richard and Beau. Soon you will learn more about Teagan and Bryan, Not really any Brucas this chapter so sorry about that, but i hoped you guys still liked it. i will update sooner this time i promise!
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