Ok this chappy is like really good!
It's long but cool!
Edward had connections with the mafia so we went in the white house just like guests.
I was dressed like Paris Hilton, except not really because I am not a whore and she is.
I'm even a virgin!
Suddenly we got lost in the rooms of the white house. I panicked and was having an asthma attack
( A/n: Mary sue's don't have asthmas do they?) and James took my shirt off to do CPR on me.
Edward watched all sexy and started stroking a fat black boy came out.
It was Corey from corey in the house!
"Yo, yo, yo how's this hot mamma doing in my hizz-house?" he asked me in ghetto language, because
he is black.
"I'm good now." i said, pushing james away. I'm an independent woman! "Do you know where the prezz is
you home skillin' biscuit?"I had to talk ghetto because blacks don't get normal talk.
"Yeah mamasita, follow me crew! in the hood we do it this way." and he led us down this hall.
we got to the round office. Michelle obama was there crying. i asked her what was wrong.
"well girlfriend, this white boy he came round stirring up shit and he said he was gonna
blow a cap in my sugar daddy's head!"
"Oh my, It's Jasper!" Edward exclaimed. James nodded in agreement.
We had to hurry.
"Be strong GIRL!" I told her."Don't follow us. If you wait here I'll buy you some chicken and
cool-aid, okay?"
"Fo shizzle!" she said, savoring the thought.
We turned into bats and flew up to the roof. Jasper was there and he was pointing a gun at
Obama!
"Help me! Help me!" he yelled. "Before this white bitch leaves me like Fitty Cent!"
"Watch that mouth, chocolate milk!" Jasper , I had an idea.
"Jasper look!" I said pointing at his back."White supremacists!"
Jasper turned around excited, but then i jumped and pushed obama out of the way.
I was in the clear except that Alice appeared!
"Edward!" I yelled, because Edward and James were destracted by Cory who was teaching them the soulja boy
crank dance (something black ppl do). edward heard me and took out his bow and shot Alice through the heart.
Jasper got mad...
"HAYLEY YOU HAVE ANGERED ME ENOUGH YOU BRAT!"
So then he shot a magic bullet in my way!
But i reflected the bullet and he got hit. He was running around crying until he fell.
Then Lacey appeared!
"You..." I said, getting emotional.
"Save it, godlover!" she said. Suddenly she took off her hat and took out her cellphone!
I took out my banjo and started playing Jesus loves me and her blackness and uglyness melted away!
"OH NO WHAT THE HELL WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE BECAUSE I WAS POSSESSED BY THE VULTURI!" she screamed.
"AND THEY ARE GOING TO KILL CARLILE!"
"What?" I asked. "How do you know?"
"I have visions of the future" she said wisely (A/N: visions are sort of like little previews of
movies and stuff in your head). "They are going to kill them because Carlile turned into a werewolf!"
"And where's my daddy?" asked Edward. He loved Carlile but not like a homo, ok?
"In a little town called MEXICO."
"Edward knows spanish" I said. When i had edward in spanish class we were always speaking it. He was hardcore!
Actually, no, but he sounded like antonio banderas when he spoke in ESPANOLE!
"Well, yea, know it all" Heavenly said madly in love with him."But just in case I brought a friend with me..."
she said as she revealed a short, pretty woman with long hair and boobs came out.
She was dressed in a red cock(Ha ha)tail dress and she was eating an apple.
She looked alot like mary magdalene, and was blasting linkin park songs out of her vampire ipod (basically
it runs on blood not batteries).
"Meet Stephany Myer."
We were all speechless.
Like, without words.
Our mouths were dropped open!
She had written some really popular books (get it?)
"Hi guys!" she said in her mormon manner. "I think I'll get to know you pretty well!"
Ok this chappy is like really good!
It's long but cool!
Edward had connections with the mafia so we went in the white house just like guests.
I was dressed like Paris Hilton, except not really because I am not a whore and she is.
I'm even a virgin!
Suddenly we got lost in the rooms of the white house. I panicked and was having an asthma attack
( A/n: Mary sue's don't have asthmas do they?) and James took my shirt off to do CPR on me.
Edward watched all sexy and started stroking a fat black boy came out.
It was Corey from corey in the house!
"Yo, yo, yo how's this hot mamma doing in my hizz-house?" he asked me in ghetto language, because
he is black.
"I'm good now." i said, pushing james away. I'm an independent woman! "Do you know where the prezz is
you home skillin' biscuit?"I had to talk ghetto because blacks don't get normal talk.
"Yeah mamasita, follow me crew! in the hood we do it this way." and he led us down this hall.
we got to the round office. Michelle obama was there crying. i asked her what was wrong.
"well girlfriend, this white boy he came round stirring up shit and he said he was gonna
blow a cap in my sugar daddy's head!"
"Oh my, It's Jasper!" Edward exclaimed. James nodded in agreement.
We had to hurry.
"Be strong GIRL!" I told her."Don't follow us. If you wait here I'll buy you some chicken and
cool-aid, okay?"
"Fo shizzle!" she said, savoring the thought.
We turned into bats and flew up to the roof. Jasper was there and he was pointing a gun at
Obama!
"Help me! Help me!" he yelled. "Before this white bitch leaves me like Fitty Cent!"
"Watch that mouth, chocolate milk!" Jasper , I had an idea.
"Jasper look!" I said pointing at his back."White supremacists!"
Jasper turned around excited, but then i jumped and pushed obama out of the way.
I was in the clear except that Alice appeared!
"Edward!" I yelled, because Edward and James were destracted by Cory who was teaching them the soulja boy
crank dance (something black ppl do). edward heard me and took out his bow and shot Alice through the heart.
Jasper got mad...
"HAYLEY YOU HAVE ANGERED ME ENOUGH YOU BRAT!"
So then he shot a magic bullet in my way!
But i reflected the bullet and he got hit. He was running around crying until he fell.
Then Lacey appeared!
"You..." I said, getting emotional.
"Save it, godlover!" she said. Suddenly she took off her hat and took out her cellphone!
I took out my banjo and started playing Jesus loves me and her blackness and uglyness melted away!
"OH NO WHAT THE HELL WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE BECAUSE I WAS POSSESSED BY THE VULTURI!" she screamed.
"AND THEY ARE GOING TO KILL CARLILE!"
"What?" I asked. "How do you know?"
"I have visions of the future" she said wisely (A/N: visions are sort of like little previews of
movies and stuff in your head). "They are going to kill them because Carlile turned into a werewolf!"
"And where's my daddy?" asked Edward. He loved Carlile but not like a homo, ok?
"In a little town called MEXICO."
"Edward knows spanish" I said. When i had edward in spanish class we were always speaking it. He was hardcore!
Actually, no, but he sounded like antonio banderas when he spoke in ESPANOLE!
"Well, yea, know it all" Heavenly said madly in love with him."But just in case I brought a friend with me..."
she said as she revealed a short, pretty woman with long hair and boobs came out.
She was dressed in a red cock(Ha ha)tail dress and she was eating an apple.
She looked alot like mary magdalene, and was blasting linkin park songs out of her vampire ipod (basically
it runs on blood not batteries).
"Meet Stephany Myer."
We were all speechless.
Like, without words.
Our mouths were dropped open!
She had written some really popular books (get it?)
"Hi guys!" she said in her mormon manner. "I think I'll get to know you pretty well!"