Chapter 2:

"Dude, fozzile the wizzle up the pizzle." Bush said, again excuse my lingo but he was trying to be "hip."

"Hey listen." Link was making air - angles, a stupid thing; as the angle went away faster then he could make it. Ruto and Zelda however were Link's ever-present supporters. Gannon was playing bag-pipes gotten from some illegal action that nobody dared ask about. Blubber nugget king man was taking photos of himself for magazines, which will NEVER be published on earth. EVER. If you want one; seek counseling, very heavy amounts of it too.

"My poor poor tree, it was so young. I didn't even know you had been smoking, it happened so fast. Are you happy now God? Now you've made a world without trees! Or at least my tree. Who's gonna bring me joy now? Now you've made a world without good trees. OH my tree. WHY?! WHY!? Oh poor tree."

"R2 D2 where are you?" Link gets bored. Very very bored. So bored that he in fact decided to become immensely rich and famous. Before giving it all to Aaron Carter. Who later got eye contacts, and became Jessie McCartney.

"Dude, I hate you!" said Link. "Stupid writer."

"Yeah well get in line, your the 6th person who wants to have me dead."

"Hey listen."

"If you can do anything kill the fairy." Navi suddenly spluttered and died.

"YAY!!!" Everyone in the area yelled, except Ganon, who was playing the bagpipes with renewed vigor. Suddenly Navi began breathing and started her stupid idea with a new passion.

"Hey listen."

"...Stupid writer." said Link.

"Stupid Link." said the writter. Link drew his blade, before it turned into a giant rubber Chicken, rendering it useless.

"Dude, useless? I think not, this will be fun at parties. whoo hoo chicken butt." Of course if Link uses the chicken butt for um... alone time then things are gonna get creepy, and my friend the fairy is gonna lose a bet.

"Hey listen Link isn't romantic, he can't even woo that chicken."

"It's true." Link began proposing to the chicken, which turned back into the master sword, and whacked him on the head. Link started writing "I love you" on several slips of paper. Finally after several pieces of the papers were slashed, Link seemed to get a clue.

"Fine forget you, Zelda come on we're going out." Zelda jumped for joy and wrapped her arms around Link. Link kept glancing over his shoulder at his sword.

"Ok... now this is weird. Link your freaking in love with Zelda." said the writer of the story, who has no real life.

"No I am NOT. I," The writer raised his pen. "Am suddenly totally in love with you Zel."

"Aw... that's such a cute nickname for me Link." Ruto was weeping and yelling at Zelda. Zelda was in her own little world as she started to explain her plans for the wedding ceremony, while Link was being inwardly thankful that the revolting mohawk he'd given her had turned out to grow back into her original hair in fact her was quite happy with her appearance and was also happy she didn't keep popping the 'what's the last thing I said' question. This meant that he could tune her out and she would never know.

"Ew.. now I officially hate you." In that moment, in which everything seemed bad and Gannon's bagpipes were punishable by law, nothing changed. At all. What a boring place this is, so the writer made it more interesting. The gang suddenly was in a high paying burger joint.

"Gang what are we all little boys on the street now?" asked Link.

"Yeah man, I remember this place, my tree once went here, it's been here all through the timeline."

"Time... line?" asked Ruto. "Time isn't made out of lines, it is made out of circles, that is why clocks are round."

"I think that the guy without a name--" Link began before being interpreted.

"What guy?" asked Gannon.

"Shut up for one second and I'll tell you."

"Hey listen."

"What?" asked Gannon.

"Ok, that's it. I swear Gannondorf. When we're done here, you butt is haunted. Seriously I am gonna haunt you all the way to heaven. And you know what? I may not even stop there."

"Link dear," Zelda began.

"DARN IT DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO INTERRUPT ME?!" asked the man with the dead tree.

"You weren't talking, oh and your name is now fluffy."

"Fluffy?!" asked everyone.

"FLUFFY, the guy who only loves his tree." Link said proudly.

"He's got to have a name, let's ask him. Hey dude what's your name?" asked Zelda.

"My poor tree."

"No not tree, name... name... I'm Zelda, this is Link, that crabby crappy pants."

"Hey" said Ruto.

"Well that's what we call you." said Link.

"NOT ME. I call you miss. CC." said the man with the tree. This began a very quiet, and awkward moment.