Chapter 3:
Thus began a very awkward moment.
"Thus a gay baby is born!" cried Link.
"Hey listen."
"What did that mean?" asked Ruto.
"It means that Navi wants you to listen to her say what you already know."
"Not Navi Link, the Gay baby thing, every time there is a long awkward long pause, a gay baby is born according to science." explained Zelda.
"Yeah science that doesn't believe in blugger nuggets." Link walked around. Being bored he proposed that the treeless man should be called Fluffy again. As nobody but Zelda (whom nobody listens to) had a better name they used fluffy. Link became extremly happy and sang 99 bottles of that dog crap I found last week on teh wall, Bush joined in, and no matter what you say, they managed to do it, in tune. Don't freaking ask how.
"Now if I went to the pub and drank and then blew up africa, I'm covered?" asked Ruto, whom was buying insurance.
"Africa? Of course! Now Austria, you'll have to buy extended policy." said Bush.
"And if I get that I get covered for Nuke usage?"
"Depending from the launch point. If outside of America then it doesn't matter cause nobody cares about anywhere else, and if it's inside of America then nobody will dare stop you cause I'll blow 'em up." said the president, smiling with a cocky grin.
"What if your people won't let you?"
"...What are you stupid? I do what I want why I want, when I want. God bless America! Out!" Bush suddenly vanished.
"Hey listen!"
"No I got a better idea, " Link said breaking into song. Gannon joined in.
"I went to the bathroom at age 42. Hurrah hurrah!
By the time I got out I was 39 Hurrah hurrah!
I needed a shave and my cat had died and I found that my eggs have fried and I'm going hunting leprechauns.
My house was mess and my bills were unpaid hurrah! hurrah!
I guess all-in-all it's really the same hurrah! hurrah!
I'm still unemployed but i don't pay bills. There's a leprechaun over the hills and I'm going hunting leprechauns.
I never got out of junior high hurrah hurrah!
I was thaught by my mom who is a guy, hurrah? hurrah?
My friends all said they didn't exist it is they whom say be... MAD! and I'm going hunting leprechauns.
People ask me what weapon I use.
I use a ten-gauge-shotgun-that-also-fires-one-22-milliameter-bullet-that-I-used-in-the-great-battle-of-Alabama-and-saved-twelve-puppies-with-the-code-word-spuds- so I never lose hurrah! hurrah!
I couldn't think of another thing so I'll just go and wing this---- boring last part-----------------" Everyone applauded loudly except for the big blubber nugget because he had so many rolls he couldn't put his hands together, that "totally messed up" his childhood, or so he claims.
"Hey listen."
"NO NO NO NO NO!!!" said everyone.
"I want me tree santy clause."
"The night went crazy!
The night saint nick went crazy."
"Link?! What are you singing? That's like swearing!"
"Singing 'the night santa went crazy' by weird al."
"Can't be as weird as you are Santa hater."
"Dude Santa ain't given you squat this year. You know why? He ain't real!"
"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Shun the nonbeliever!!"
"SHUNNNNNNNNNNNN" said everybody there, except the blubber nugget king, who'd finally achived what he'd threated to do from the age of 3 onward, this was to become so big he would lack the ability to open his mouth. No mild threat sense he was now 1000 years old. Long living Zoras.
There's your new chappie and don't listen to Link, Santa is real! He's real! lol. Ok now I'm offically insane. Well happy holidays or Christmhannquansa or whatever you wanna call it. Have a good time. WITHOUT EGGNOG! Aw forget go drink it have fun. Drunks. Yes you are, if you weren't you wouldn't have read this far into the A/N, OK JUST LEAVE NOW, EITHER TO THE NEXT CHAPTER OR IF I HAVEN'T POSTED IT JUST GO AWAY. What are you still doing here, man leeches. Well here's a disclaimer.
disclaimer. "I own nothing but the non-existant plot and the hunting leprechaun song. which went to the tune of ' when the saints go marching in' so I don't own that either."
Happy holidays. Fellow freaks.