"So what do you want to do today...and that questions was asked with no sexual subtext. For the first time since puberty, I can honestly say that having sex is the farthest from my mind in my present condition. What other goodies did Alexis and my mother send us? I just grabbed the first book I found in the bag last night."
Kate walked over and dumped out everything. "Several magazines, some paperbacks and a deck of cards; I'd suggest playing honeymoon whist but that would be hitting below the belt."
"Oh, we are witty today, cruel but witty. OK Beckett you're on, deal the cards."
After several hands, which she won, Kate could see that Rick was getting tired. "You want to take a break? I've beaten you seven out of ten hands. Funny, I thought you'd be a lot better at this game considering all the practice you've had." Kate waited for a comeback but he just yawned at her. "Are you OK?"
"I don't know what wrong with me, I have no energy. Just playing cards made me so tired. They will never let me out of here if I can't stay awake for more than a few hours."
"Stop being so impatient! I'm not feeling 100 percent either. They gave us enough shots and pills to cure every disease known to man, I'm tired too. On top of that, you got sick from the bad mushrooms."
"Oh God, please never say the M word again."
Beckett tried to look apologetic but failed miserably. "The nurse said that we aren't getting out of here until they draw blood on Tuesday and we come back clean."
"More blood? I feel like a pin cushion already and I'm itchy." He scratched at the two plus days of stubble on his face.
"I like it! You should consider growing a beard, it would help you butch up."
"Beards itch and I'd look like a wino."
"I thought all writers grew beards and smoked pipes...like Hemmingway."
"Kate, he wrote about death, depression and impotence and eventually committed suicide. He is not the best role model to have and chosen...and what do you mean butch up? I've had no complaints about "Little Ricky". If this is your idea of making me feel better, it's not."
"Quit your bitching, Castle. You are alive and everyday you will feel a little better, I promise. Lay back and close your eyes. I'll read to you."
"I started the latest Grisham story just before I got sick."
"Got it!" Kate held up the book but before she could drag over a chair, a nurse entered the isolation room.
"Lunch time!" The woman opened the panel beside the intercom and took out one tray.
Castle's face lost all color at the word lunch. Kate was really hungry but she didn't want to eat in front of him. The nurse also noticed his reaction and did not take out the second tray.
"It's soup and a sandwich…..if you don't feel up to it I can order something else for you."
"Thank you, but I'll pass. Kate, you must be starving. Please, go have your lunch."
Kate got the unspoken message in his words. She took the tray from the nurse and walked back to her own bed, so that the smell of the food wouldn't reach him. As she ate, Rick flipped through a few of the magazines. "Barrons, Connisseur, Esquire, GQ, Fortune, Gourmet and Sports Illustrated, I must say not a page turner in the bunch."
"Martha didn't send you this month's Hustler or any of your porn collection?"
"Alexis probably put the care package together and she doesn't know where I hide it." Kate nearly choked on her sandwich. "Kidding! Sorry about that Kate, I just couldn't resist." Beckett shot him a dirty look and went back to eating as Castle looked through the Sports Illustrated. Several minutes later, Kate put her tray behind the panel near the intercom and sat on the bed next to Castle.
"OK, Chapter 10!" Castle smiled and closed his eyes as she began to read, he didn't care about finishing the story. Rick just liked to hear her voice. Several chapters later, Kate realized that he had not made any comments about the story or style for a chapter or two. Looking over, she confirmed he had gone back to sleep. Smiling at him, she stretched out and continued to read for a while but very soon she joined him in an afternoon nap. The familiar nightmare began as it always did.
Once she started college, Kate tried to meet her mom and dad for dinner at least one night a week. One night, her mother never arrived at the restaurant where she waited with her dad. Beckett began to toss and turn, trying to somehow change what happened next. Kate saw the police waiting when they got home.
Castle woke to the sound of Kate Beckett calling out "NO! No please, no!" She was thrashing around in the bed and about to fall out of it. He jumped out of bed to grab her, stopping her fall. As he reached to wake her, Kate's hands clutched his scrub top in a death grip. "Mom….mom", and then she began to cry. Rick couldn't let go of her even if he wanted to and he didn't want to. He eased into the narrow bed beside her and held her as she cried. Slowly the tears stopped and she fell back into a peaceful sleep.
He had known almost from the day they met that Kate had lost someone she loved. She would never answer his questions about who she lost or about the ring and watch. Now he was pretty sure that she had lost her mother and perhaps both parents. As he pieced together the bits and pieces of information he'd uncovered over the last seven months, Kate snuggled deeper into his arms. Rick smiled as he watched her sleep on his chest, her bad dream now a distant memory. It felt so right, he felt whole for the first time in a very long time. It was then that a startling thought hit him. This is what he wanted. To be with her, protect her...love her! That earth shattering fact sparked several more discoveries.
For the last 15 years Alexis and his writing were the most important things in his life. He had recently watched, and he really tried not to, as Alexis kissed her prom date goodnight. He knew that his days as a full time dad were numbered. Writing had become a job, a chore, until Kate came into his life and now it was just an excuse to be with her, to stay with her. He felt challenged and more alive since he began helping Kate. He knew what she did was important and worthwhile but the reason he stayed was because he never wanted anyone or anything to hurt Kate Beckett again. It had been such along time since he'd felt like this and back then it had not lasted long. He was scared to trust again, to open his heart again but now it was too late. He gently pushed back her bangs and tucked some hair behind Kate's ear to see her face better, only to see two hazel eyes snap open in shock.
"Castle! What the hell is this? You say you want to be friends but climb into bed with me the first chance you get. I should have known better than to trust you."
"Kate, you were having a nightmare. You woke me up calling out "No" and "Mom". You would have landed on the floor but I caught you. You pulled me into your bed and still have my shirt in your hands."
"Oh...sorry!" She let go of his shirt and rolled out of the bed on the other side but before she could runaway again, Rick spoke.
"Kate, tell me about it, please? I may not be able to fix it but sometimes talking helps. I've shared some things with you that very few people know. I know you lost someone very close, the watch you wear, it's a man's watch...was it your dad?" He waited in silence, hoping she would trust him enough to finally answer his questions.
"It was my mother, not my father. She was supposed to meet me and my dad at a restaurant but she never showed up...It will be twelve years ago next month. We came home and there was a detective waiting for us, Detective Raglan. They found her body, she was stabbed to death. She still had her purse, money and jewelry, so it wasn't a robbery and it wasn't a sexual assault. After an abbreviated investigation, her death was attributed to gang violence, they called it a random wayward incident. They didn't think outside the box, they just packaged it up nice and neat and filed it away. The killer way never caught."
"The ring, it was hers?" Kate nodded and tried to turn away. "Why do you wear the watch?"
"My dad took her death hard. He is sober now, five years. The ring is a keepsake of my mom for the life I lost and the watch is for the life I helped save. So now you know...good back story for your new book huh?"
"No, way too emotional...besides I'd never abuse the trust of a friend who told me about losing her mom.
"Thank you for that, oh and thanks for saving my butt."
"My pleasure, it's such a cute butt. What? That was a compliment! I was very good too. I held you and didn't even let my hands wander once. I think that deserves something."
"I'll let you win a few hands of poker after dinner."
"Let me? Oh, thems is fighting words. You are on!" Rick started to walk over to her but felt very dizzy.
"What's wrong?"
"A little dizzy."
"You haven't eaten in over 24 hours. What would you like?"
"I'm not sure I can swallow anything solid. Just the thought of it makes my stomach turn."
"If you don't eat, they will have to put in the IV again. Something light, yogurt maybe?"
"Kate please, after this I never want to hear the word bacteria again, let alone eat any."
Just then the nurse came into the isolation ward. "Dinner time."
Before Castle could open his mouth, Kate told the nurse he was dizzy and hadn't eaten in over a day. "Mr. Castle, after a severe case of food poisoning it can be hard to start eating again. I can order some plain pasta, soup, clear broth...I know what to try! I'll be right back. Ms. Beckett, your tray is behind the panel."
"Rick, are you sure you don't want something?" She took the tray back to her bed and Rick flopped down on his bed as his stomach took turns growling and turning over at the smell of her dinner. He shook his head and drank some water; at least he could still swallow that.
Moments later the nurse returned with a small tub of ice. "Here try this! These cans are protein shakes but they taste like milk shakes. They will help you start to eat again, help with the stomach cramps and stop the dizzy spells." She opened one and put in a straw. "It is the equivalent of a meal in a can."
"OK but you may want to step back a little. It may come up faster than it went down...Hey, that's not bad!"
"Don't drink it too fast. Have one and then if your stomach feels better, you can have another in a little while. I also brought the pills you asked for. They are just sugar pills but there are 100 in white, green and orange as you requested.
The nurse left after she watched Castle finish the first can with no adverse reaction.