PAPER CUT

.part II.

-Dialogue from this section taken from New Moon, aka, Stephenie Meyer, aka, not me. No copyright infringement intended.

x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x

After the few milliseconds of shock as Bella's scent hit us all, I clamped my teeth together and focused on blocking out the range of the normal, slightly panicky feelings coming from my family when we usually entered a room with a beating heart. And Blood. And gushing blood…red…flowing….pumping….

Edward's eyes briefly flicked to me first as he heard my suppressed murderous thoughts. He made eye contact with all of us as he pressed his lips to Bella's hair quickly, as if to mark her as his for the rest of his dangerous company to see.

My appearance was not the only thing that hadn't changed in the century and a half that I had been immortal. My loathing yet loving relationship with my special talent had taken its toll on me.

Before Alice, I had lived a life of strife and horror, and had been nearly exhausted and driven to near suicide after feeling the emotions coming from Maria's newborn army. My talent had not been developed easily; I had felt the fear, horror, and malice emulating from the new creatures far before I would learn that I could control it.

No, the control had taken time, practice, and patience to develop. It had been horrible before I learned to control the emotions of the disturbed animal like- vampires around me. When I had branched out with Peter and Charlotte, their loving, lustful desires had made me feel more like a third wheel than a leader. I had gone alone for several decades after parting with them peacefully.

Traveling the continent alone had been a solitary, monotonous life. It didn't matter if I was looking at an ocean, a snowy mountain range, or a rolling moonlit prairie. I had been utterly alone, wallowing in my shallow existence.

But that had changed with Alice.

Alice had taken my hand in the Philadelphia diner and led me away from all the hurt and deceit that had been my life until that point. When my wife had finally found me, I had been a distrustful, defensive creature that was full of regret, pain, and suffering. To say I was suspicious of her when she bounded up to me, her thin white hand extended in front of her, blurting out my name…I had been scared. She wasted no time telling me that she had been looking for me, and I had instantly been alarmed.

That had all vanished when I was able to relax, concentrate, and use my gift to read her. Alice's jubilance couldn't be faked. The happiness and exuberance that melted off of the tiny vampire felt like the rays of the sun that I had avoided for so long.

Alice was my sunlight.

Alice had led me away from it all and had helped me find the man. I had almost felt human again with Alice. She had taken me back to my human side so that we could live together in harmony with the people that she found so fascinating. I knew right away that it was important to her; it was our unspoken agreement that if I wanted to say with her, I would have to at least try.

I had been trying for over sixty years. And it wasn't getting much easier.

Living with another coven of vampires was not my most ideal of living situations. At first, I had been extremely hesitant to form any sort of bond with more vampires; Alice I trusted, but the others…I wasn't so sure. I didn't have good experience with groups, as can be expected. I didn't have anything against Carlisle in his family; I knew from the moment I tested their emotions that the entire family had less aggression or hate in them than what had been in one of Maria's fingertips. The Cullens had put me instantly at ease.

However, living with a group of vampires did get difficult at times like this, when we were all thirsty and being reminded of what we were by a gushing, throbbing heart standing in our living room, tempting and taunting us.

I tested the moods and emotions coming from my family with a skilled yet cautious expertise. Too much too fast, and I would undoubtedly feel extremely uncomfortable by their feelings; it was almost like dipping a toe in the water to test the temperature, I thought with a smirk.

Based on the feelings floating around the room at the moment, it was hard to believe we were at a birthday party, about to celebrate. I could feel the thirst of everyone in the room with me, even Edward. I had to wince every time I was around them together. Just to feel the waves of iron control that Edward emulated around Bella made me cringe when I imagined how she must have smelled to him.

I had met my blood singer in the sixties, after almost a decade of resisting the call of human blood. It was the only time Alice had seen me cry tearlessly in shame as I remembered the violent act I had just committed on the old man whose blood had sung to me. I could still see her sympathetic golden eyes as they calmly took in the sight of my darkening crimson ones. The gruesome act still haunted me. To imagine standing next to him and his blood, day after day after day….I winced.

Edward glanced at me quickly.

I'm sorry Edward. It just hits me like a wall..everyone's thirst when they see her…it emulates from them. It's…hard. I can….feel it. I'm sorry. I don't mean it, I thought at him.

I wasn't lying to him. It was extremely hard to be around Bella – his feelings for control around her mixed with those of my family…when everything mixed together it could be torturous. Especially since I had 'graduated' and no longer attended high school.

I should be ashamed with myself…I am ashamed. I've made it through high school before dozens of times, and I'm still learning to deal with all of this. This control…this oblivious, nonchalant attitude towards human blood – it's ludicrous! How can a creature such as myself go without the taste forever…never again…to never feel the warmth and relief as it slides down..cooling…soothing…NO! Stop! Control yourself. Remember Jasper Whitlock, the man. Commander. Son. Friend. Husband.

Husband.

Alice.

Remember Alice.

I never want to hurt her. Breaking my vow to only feed from animals would break Alice's heart. I couldn't. I won't.

I swallowed and realized that less than a second has passed since Bella entered our house. I had begun to let my thoughts get out of control, and that couldn't happen – especially not now.

The fun was only beginning, I thought to myself bitterly.

I looked around the room and tried to soak up some of the more positive feelings floating around, biting back my instincts and further suppressing my urge to think murderous thoughts about the beating heart at the top of the living room stairs.

I blinked my golden eyes, suddenly feeling paranoid that they had turned to black. A quick glance sideways in the glass windows told me that I was still fine. I still looked normal, my thirst was under control, and I would be okay. Most importantly, Bella would be okay.

I looked over at Edward, silently praying for forgiveness from him. It would have killed me to have to listen to someone plot to harm my Alice; I would have surely gone mad. I would have ripped them limb from limb, not letting them take another breath on this earth.

Edward's eyes met mind from the top of the stairs, giving me an 'Exactly' look.

I bit back some venom that had pooled in my mouth and swallowed shamefully, my eyes falling to the floor.

My mood improved when Alice's understanding eyes met mine. Thinking about Alice automatically made everything better. Right away.

She gave me one of what I liked to call 'our smiles' and then turned and looked adoringly at the human girl standing at the top of the steps. Even after more than half a century together, I still was in awe of the creature that was my Alice.

Through the struggles, the slip ups, the fallbacks, the despair…she was always there. Giving me 'our smiles'. She would tilt her chin down, lower her timeless eyes, and turn the corner of her left cheek up, careful to hide her teeth. Then, her eyes would sparkly slightly and her lips would purse as if she was trying to bite back one of her infectious high pitched giggles with her razor sharp teeth. Everything was okay with one of those smiles.

Sometimes I felt like my wife was a fairy god mother of sorts. She could see my future and inevitably change it to fit my benefit; she flew around the room like I would imagine a fairy would; and she did of course like sparkly dresses. And most importantly, she would have done anything to ensure my happiness. With a dazzling smile and a tinkling laugh, Alice had been making my dreams come true for over half a century.

Yes, in many ways Alice was a lot like my fairy god mother.

I would do anything for Alice. And if that meant living life with her human best friend that gave her more joy than anything else, I would just live through it. I was willing to suffer for Alice's happiness.

I came back to the present. I would need to focus if I was going to handle this.

After 'graduating' high school, my practice around humans had grown rusty. As torturous as it was to attend high school every day, it did make running into a human here or there a lot less of a problem. Not that I was terribly afraid; my control had held fast for decades now, but I still had to watch myself.

I took a shaky breath, testing the mood of my family members to see if anything was awry.

Edward stood at the top of the steps with his new reason for living, his new reason to make it through the day without slipping up. His new reason for living this life, if that's even what we did.

Bella.

How could I explain my brother and his human? It wasn't easy. His love and utter devotion for her rolled off of him in jubilant waves. However, his lust for the blood the flowed beneath her pale, thin skin also was apparent to me through my gift. Not that he ever would act on it.

His control was like a brick wall; unmoving, unwavering. He was a little apprehensive, but more so for Bella's less than pleased reaction for the party that was taking place before her.

Bella was always a whirlwind for me to feel. Her eyes darted over the room full of pink roses and glass bowls full of candles. Any calm feelings she had left her when she spotted the table that Alice had carefully arranged with her gifts and cake.

I smiled to myself. Oh, Alice.

My wife was emulating beams of joy and playfulness, sensing Bella's chagrin and horror. Alice was a lot like a small child in that regard; the more you threw a fit and avoided something, the more she would giggle and push it in your face. But it was all in good fun for her. Alice, sensing that Bella wasn't thrilled with the idea of a party or being the center of attention, softened her excitement as Edward wrapped a protective arm around Bella's waist. He gave her a pointed look as if to say, Rein it in.

I watched Alice dance up to a clearly horrified Bella, her flat little shoes barely making a noise on the wooden surface.

Alice cleared her throat quickly and just so that we could hear, giving us her signal to speak.

"Happy Birthday!" my family chorused, their chiming voices ringing in the large living room. I chose to clamp my mouth shut and refrain from breathing.

Edward led her down the staircase, Alice lithely dancing out of the way. Carlisle and Esme stood the closest to the door, ever the symbol of welcoming benevolence. I watched my mother enclose Bella in her steely arms as a human would touch a butterfly's wing.

"Happy Birthday Bella," she whispered amorously. Esme pulled out of the hug, gently grasping Bella's hands in her own to look upon her with a gaze so enchanted it was almost heart wrenching.

Bella's cheeks turned pink, and I caught myself seething with envy as my mother stayed completely calm. I caught no tones or feelings of thirst coming from her anymore, as Esme had calmed herself since the door opened. I longed for her cool, calm control. And Carlisle…

Carlisle could have bathed in a bathtub of warm human blood and not been swayed. He was ever the epitome of calm and collected, his control a feat that not even the Volturi themselves understood.

"Sorry about this, Bella," he whispered loudly. The shy girl ducked her head and looked sideways at Edward as Carlisle spoke in jest. "We couldn't rein Alice in."

Emmett and Rosalie were next. I felt another pang of envy as any feelings the pair had of thirst were promptly pushed aside and replaced with anything but.

Rosalie, as always, had a flare of anger coming from her. That was nothing new. She was irked that she had to be there, and nothing was fresh about that. At all. I was surprised when I felt a wave of envy come from her as her eyes fell upon the cowering human girl at the bottom of the steps.

"Smile!" Alice hissed under her breath at Rosalie, too fast for Bella's ears. Rosalie lightened her glare and instead just stood there, looking indifferent.

Oh Rose…always so jealous of the girl to be able to age…and have babies, I thought to myself.

Rosalie's eyes fell to the wooden floor, her lips rubbing together as she undoubtedly thought about the silliness of tonight's event. However, it did not stop her from smoothing out her black silk dress and letting satisfaction practically ooze from her pores.

Emmett stood next to her, beaming with excitement. It floated off of him and all the way over to me, alleviating my mood a little as I tried to soak in his joy. He grinned even bigger when Bella's still horrified eyes fell on him. I looked at her as beams of bewilderment came from her as she looked at Emmett and Rosalie.

Ah, so she sees them the same way I do. Larger than life, and more beautiful than anything should be, I thought to myself with a wry smile. Although the pair of them has always made Bella feel a little scared. As they should.

Emmett pretended to pout. "You haven't changed at all," he said. "I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced as always."

"Thanks a lot, Emmett," Bella said, blushing even harder.

I didn't think it would be possible for more blood to fit into her cheeks…good good, I was wrong.

My Alice knew to save me. Shame filled me as she must have seen me doing something wrong, for she skipped to my side, grasping my hand. Oh, there's that smile….

I swallowed the venom that was pooling in my mouth, hoping in vain that it would help soothe the burning sensation that had mocked me throughout my existence. Sometimes I felt like there was a small demon dwelling there, burrowed into the insides of my neck. As a newborn, I used to sit in the corner of the dusty buildings Maria had us dwell in and argue with the little monster that I had pictured to reside there. Every time I disobeyed his demonic wishes, he punished me by spitting fire on the tender cells that lined my throat and mouth. He mocked me then as he is still mocking me today.

"I have to step out for a second," Emmett said. "Don't do anything funny while I'm gone."

"I'll try," Bella replied with a cringe. She looked confused about him leaving, but said nothing. She must be used to strange things around here. He made a large production of leaving through the back door. I heard him fly around to the front of the house where her truck was parked to begin installing the ostentatious car stereo he had purchased for her for her birthday. There was no way the simple, conservative girl would appreciate a gift so flamboyant; however, such was the Cullen way.

Alice could no longer babysit me; she had party duties to attend to. She dropped my hand, darting back over to her new friend.

"Time for presents!" she trilled, carefully grabbing Bella's elbow and dragging the hesitant girl to the table full of gifts. Bella looked like she wanted the floor to open up and swallow her whole.

"Alice, I told you I didn't want anything-" Bella began to argue.

"But I didn't listen," my wife interjected smugly. She avoided Bella's annoyed scowl and shoved the first silver wrapped present at her.

She opened it, rolling her eyes and huffing the whole time. I could see why Edward found this girl so amusing. She was interesting to watch. Her emotions moved like a slinky – no sooner had she settled on one feeling than a new one would come tumbling over, almost overwhelming her.

Edward looked at me from the corner of his eye, an amused smile beginning to appear.

The poor girl shook the box that I knew to be empty. I listened and heard Emmett slam the door in the driveway, signaling the he was done installing the device she was about to unwrap.

Once the paper had been shed, she frowned again as her sluggish human eyes tried to read the package that was adorned with information about the stereo. I followed the amused tone coming from Rosalie and was shocked when she actually cracked a smile.

I took a deep breath, focusing on Alice's excitement instead of my raging throat. "It's a stereo for your truck," I explained. Bella gave me a surprised glance as a clamped my mouth shut once again. I knew she wouldn't have expected me to do much speaking; she understood my constant struggle a little bit, but I knew Edward had never divulged exactly how much torture I still endured around humans.

I heard Emmett stifle a chuckle from where he sat in the old Chevy in the driveway. "Tell her once it's in here, she can't return it," I heard him say with another laugh.

"Emmett's installing it right now so that you can't return it," I added, conveying his message.

Bella looked at me incredulously, a small smile then appearing on her lips. She looked back down at the package, shaking her head.

"Thanks Jasper, Rosalie," she said, placing the empty box on the table next to the cake. "Thanks Emmett!" she said, raising her voice slightly.

We all heard his loud guffaws coming from her truck, and I couldn't help but laugh.

Oh no..laughing takes air. Laughing uses air. Laughing is not good, I thought, clamping my jaw shut. I swiftly quit breathing.

"Open mine and Edward's next!" I heard Alice's voice raise a few octaves from her excitement.

I smiled tightly at my wife, who was still letting her exuberance and enthusiasm roll off of her. I tried to imagine myself as a sponge.

"You promised!" Bella hissed at my brother. He feigned horror and rolled his eyes at her, further igniting her angry kitten-like fury.

Bella exhaled nervously, spreading her delicious breath throughout the room. I watched Esme smile through her clamped teeth; Emmett walked back into the house and pressed his lips together. The only ones who seemed oblivious to her glorious smell were Alice and Edward.

I can do this. Bella is my friend. She is my human friend, I chanted to my throat. Alice had once suggested focusing on the details of the human's life; to think of them as real people instead of a meal. That helped, but realistically the demon would still argue back with a much more tempting point of view than even Alice could present.

"Just in time!" Emmett boomed, stomping down the stairs and back into the living room. He pushed past me, and even I followed him a little closer to Bella to see her reaction to the next present.

I swallowed a mouthful of venom as Bella nervously toyed with a strand of her hair, her movement sending small drafts of deliciousness my way. Edward stepped closer to her, resting a reassuring hand on the small of her back.

His eyes flicked up and looked at mine, his protectiveness practically seeping from his core.

Sorry Edward. I'm trying not to think about it. Are my eyes still normal? I thought at him.

He nodded once at my thought. Bella was no fool about vampires, and my last desire was to scare my brother's human mate. The girl would recognize black eyes as those of a vampire that was clearly suffering from thirst, and I wished to appear as relaxed as possible, even though my throat had ignited in flames the moment her Chuck-clad foot had stepped through the door.

"I didn't spend a dime," I heard Edward say in defense of himself. Bella pretended to frown at him again, her face softening as he brushed a strand of hair from her eyes.

"Give it to me," she said, her voice tinged with an exasperated embarrassment. She eyed us all nervously, and I almost laughed at her. She was more worried about being the center of attention that being a room full of vampires. Edward met my eyes and we shared a humored moment as he listened to my honest errant thought.

Emmett slapped his hands together and chuckled deeply in his chest as he waited in anticipation for Bella to open the gift. Sometimes I think embarrassment fuels him.

The next thing that happened changed my life, as well as the life of everyone around me.

Bella slid her finger beneath the silver wrapping paper and jerked it away from her body. The sound of her delicate skin being sliced by the miniscule paper echoed in my ears. The noise that her delicious smelling blood made as it began to seep through the small cut on her finger, the exposed liquid making the fire ignite in my chest and throat.

I felt my eyes darken as Bella raised up her finger to examine the forbidden crimson nectar. They were locked on the blood as it dropped painstakingly onto the white carpet below her.

Wasted. Cannot…be…wasted…

And there it was.

A paper cut.

x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x

Well I hoped you liked Paper Cut! I thought about writing one more chapter about the attack and how Jasper handles himself afterwards, but I wanted to see if there would be an interest in part III. Let me know if you liked the story, I might consider it if I get some positive feedback.

Review!