Dates don't fully agree between different party members. They can't do math so good, maybe.
~jj
..
Zevran's Diary
Day 1:
Have decided to kill myself. Concocted elaborate plan for death, consisting of throwing myself at legendary Grey Wardens in hope that they will kill me. Will still try to kill them, though. Habit.
Good-bye, cruel world. Consider this my suicide note.
Day 6:
Still alive. Am surprisingly happy about it. Suicide thing kind of a whim, actually.
Female Warden spared my life, wants me to tag along. Yeah she does, ha. Other Warden pissed, possibly jealous of how awesome I am. Both Wardens are v. sexy. Traveling with a sexy Orlesian and a sexy witch. Ooh, and v. sexy Dog.
Orlesian seems game for it, going to take a shot.
Day 7:
Orlesian prefers to fight with two swords, if you know what I mean. Pity.
Day 8:
Warden gave me some boots today. And some gloves. No pants, though. Think this is a sign.
Day 76:
Wardens and Leliana trapped in Circle Tower. Am stuck camping on Lake Calenhad with qunari, witch and dog. Qunari not much of a talker. Witch not interested, sadly. Dog is a dog.
Am bored.
Day 85:
Warden back, brought a mage with her, sort of a cougar. Seems to fancy Alistair.
Day 94:
Told Warden about Rinna today. Chicks love that stuff. It's only a matter of time.
Day 99:
And there it is! Totally bagged the Warden today. I am awesome! You lose Alistair!
Day 107:
Warden took us to Orzammar. Met some Silent Sisters. Not so silent anymore. Ha!
Day 116:
Convinced Warden to have threesome with hot pirate chick. Mmm. Being me rocks. Not sure why I wanted to kill myself.
Day 129:
Got to third base with Lanaya behind landship today. Seems to think she was Zathrian's first. Unlikely, I mean the man was hundreds of years old and had children, but didn't have the heart to correct her.
Day 131:
At the Pearl with Warden today. Am feeling particularly introspective. Have realized that I play the part of an aggressively debauched lothario to mask inner torment, deep rooted abandonment issues, fear of intimacy due to childhood in whorehouse, PTSD from life as a Crow, distorted body image, etc.
Wait is that a dwarf in drag? Hold that thought.
Day 143:
Retrieved Andraste's magic urn today, saw whole party naked.
Curious observation: Leliana and Morrigan have the same figure. And the Warden. And Wynne! I'm not kidding, they are all identical titty twins. Do not know what to think of this.
Day 159:
Ferelden selling elves into slavery? WTF? I'm an elf! Suddenly v. righteous about this.
Day 167:
Taliesen tried to assassinate me today. Badly. Ambushed the Warden in Denerim but I wasn't even with her at the time. What a tool. I showed up out of nowhere and kicked his ass.
Am free of the Crows! Warden wants me to stick around, though.
She better not try to tie me down. Except like that. But Zevran needs to play the field, hear that? Too much man for one woman to handle!
Day 175:
May be falling in love with Warden. Damnit.
Day 181:
Found earring on dead person and gave it to my Warden. She seemed to like it. Stuck it right in her ear.
Crap! I should have washed that first.
Day 204:
Alistair going to marry ice queen. Poor bastard. Going to be a virgin forever.
Offered to take him to the Pearl but he got all embarrassed and said he had to polish his weapon. Alistair kind of a nerd, I think.
Day 226:
Chilling in Redcliffe Castle. Am told there's a Blight happening. Huh.
Day 227:
Leliana just came by, said Alistair gave it to the witch last night. Mmm, hate sex. Good on Alistair!
Day 229:
Warden wants me to come with her to fight Archdemon. Downside: almost certain death. Upside: v. grateful Warden. Am going.
Day 231:
Battle v. hard. Archdemon actually an enormous and scary dragon, it turns out.
Morrigan disappeared before I could taunt her about Alistair. So sad.
Warden v. grateful indeed. Ah, but she is a tigress in bed, a vicious carnivore with retractable claws and soft striped fur, in bed. Have decided to hang out with her for a while longer. Might even learn her name at some point.